If this video doesn’t bring a tear to your eyes and makes you smile for the rest of the day, you are a cold hearted bastard. Watch it from beginning to end-you won’t regret it.
This cover of Stand By Meas recorded by completely unknown artists in a street virtual studio= all around the world. It all started with a base track-vocals and guitar-recorded on the streets of Santa Monica, California, by a street musician called Roger Ridley. The base track was then taken to New Orleans, Louisiana, where Grandpa Elliott-a blind singer from the French Quarter-added vocals and harmonica while listening to Ridley’s base track on headphones. In the same city, Washboard Chaz’s added some metal percussion to it.
And from there, it just gets rock ‘n’ rolling bananas: The producers took the resulting mix all through Europe, Africa, and South America, adding new tracks with multiple instruments and vocals that were assembled in the final version you are seeing in this video. All done with a simple laptop and some microphones.
I don’t know about you, but it blew me away. Best version of Ben E. King’s classic I’ve ever heard in my life. And I’ve probably heard between five and two billion of them. [Thanks to my friend Fernando]
Today I received an email from the lawyers of author Susan Jeffers, PhD., notifying me that I’d infringed on her trademark by inadvertently using the phrase “feel the fear and do it anyway” in my post last week, A Guide to Beating the Fears That Hold You Back.
The phrase, apparently, is the title of one of her books … a book I’d never heard of. I wasn’t referring to her book. I’m not using the phrase as a title of a book or product or to sell anything. I was just referring to something a friend said on Twitter.
Her lawyers asked me to insert the (R) symbol after the phrase, in my post, and add this sentence: “This is the registered trademark of Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. and is used with her permission.”
Yeah. I’m not gonna do that.
I find it unbelievable that a common phrase (that was used way before it was the title of any book) can be trademarked. We’re not talking about the names of products … we’re talking about the English language. You know, the words many of us use for such things as … talking, and writing, and general communication? Perhaps I’m a little behind the times, but is it really possible to claim whole chunks of the language, and force people to get permission to use the language, just in everyday speech?
What if this were taken to an extreme? What if some billionaire (say, Bill Gates) decided to start trademarking thousands and thousands of phrases, so that he could charge us for each use, or so that we’d have to link back to the Microsoft homepage with each reference? The language, in this scenario, could be entirely privatized if we allow this sort of thing.
So, while this post is probably ill-advised (and yes, I realize that I’m actually giving publicity to Ms. Jeffers), I have to object. I think we have a duty, as writers and bloggers and speakers of the English language, to defend our rights to … words. Free speech is a bit of an important concept, I think.
As an aside, I think the idea of jealously protecting copyright and trademarks, in this digital age, is outdated and ignorant. You want your ideas to spread, and you should encourage people to spread your ideas, not put up all kinds of boundaries and restrictions and obstacles to that being done. This blog, for example, is Uncopyrighted, and will always be free, because I want people to spread my posts and ideas. I think it’s actually good for me as a writer, and it’s (not insignificantly) better for the writing community in general if we can share each others’ work freely. I’m hoping that with posts like this, and the good work of thousands of other like-minded people, the old mindset of fencing off ideas and language will slowly change.
So, no, I will not be adding a Registered Trademark symbol to the previous post. And no, I won’t be adding a phrase of legalese to the post. And no, I won’t even attribute the phrase or link to her book, as I wasn’t referring to the book. And no, I won’t remove the phrase.
I’d rather be sued.
Oh, and I’m not going to change the title of this post either. You’ll have to remove it from my cold, dead iMac.
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On a side note: You may feel free to use the title of my book, The Power of Less, in any of your blog posts, on Twitter or even (gasp) everyday conversation.
Heavy Boots About 6-7 years ago, I was in a philosophy class at the University of Wisconsin, Madison (good science/engineering school) and the teaching assistant was explaining Descartes.
He was trying to show how things don’t always happen the way we think they will and explained that, while a pen always falls when you drop it on Earth, it would just float away if you let go of it on the Moon. My jaw dropped a little. I blurted “What?!” Looking around the room, I saw that only my friend Mark and one other student looked confused by the TA’s statement. The other 17 people just looked at me like “What’s your problem?” “But a pen would fall if you dropped it on the Moon, just more slowly.” I protested.
“No it wouldn’t.” the TA explained calmly, “because you’re too far away from the Earth’s gravity.” Think. Think. Aha! “You saw the APOLLO astronauts walking around on the Moon, didn’t you?”
I countered, “why didn’t they float away?”
“Because they were wearing heavy boots.” he responded, as if this made perfect sense (remember, this is a Philosophy TA who’s had plenty of logic classes). By then I realized that we were each living in totally different worlds, and did not speak each others language, so I gave up.
As we left the room, my friend Mark was raging. “My God! How can all those people be so stupid?” I tried to be understanding. “Mark, they knew this stuff at one time, but it’s not part of their basic view of the world, so they’ve forgotten it. Most people could probably make the same mistake.”
To prove my point, we went back to our dorm room and began randomly selecting names from the campus phone book. We called about 30 people and asked each this question: 1
1. If you’re standing on the Moon holding a pen, and you let go, will it a) float away, b) float where it is, or c) fall to the ground?
About 47 percent got this question correct. Of the ones who got it wrong, we asked the obvious follow-up question:
2. You’ve seen films of the APOLLO astronauts walking around on the Moon, why didn’t they fall off?
About 20 percent of the people changed their answer to the first question when they heard this one! But the most amazing part was that about half of them confidently answered, “Because they were wearing heavy boots.”
MORE ON THE BURNING QUESTION OF HEAVY BOOTS
I decided to settle this question once and for all. Therefore, I put two multiple choice questions on my Physics 111 test, after the study of elementary mechanics and gravity.
13. If you are standing on the Moon, and holding a rock, and you let it go, it will: (a) float away (b) float where it is (c) move sideways (d) fall to the ground (e) none of the above
25. When the Apollo astronauts wre on the Moon, they did not fall off because: (a) the Earth’s gravity extends to the Moon (b) the Moon has gravity (c) they wore heavy boots (d) they had safety ropes (e) they had spiked shoes
The response showed some interesting patterns! The first question was generally of average difficulty, compared with the rest of the test: 57% got it right. The second question was easier: 73% got it right. So, we need more research to explain the people who got #25 right but did not get #13 right!
The second interesting point is that these questions proved to be excellent discriminators: that is, success on these two questions proved to be an extremely good predictor of overall success on the test. On the first question, 92% of those in the upper quarter of the test score got it right; only 20% of those in the bottom quarter did. They generally chose answers (a) or (b). On the second question, 97% in the upper quarter got it right and 33% in the lower quarter did. The big popular choice of this group was (c)…33% chose heavy boots, followed closely by safety ropes at 27%.
A telling comment on the issue of fairness in teaching elementary physics: Two students asked if I was going to continue asking them about things they had never studied in the class.
Yahoo Answers is where anyone with a Yahoo account can pose a question to the rest of the internet and have any person from the internet ask it. Simply put: Yahoo Answers is a goldmine for comedy.
Why? Because there’s a lot of stupid people out there. Either that or a ton of bored 13 year olds.
Without further ado here’s some of the cream of the crop. These Yahoo Answers, and the answers themselves sometimes, made us all at Manolith laugh our asses off and he hope you enjoy them as much as we did.
5. The Joy Of Painting
4. Smurfs
The best part is the “i know this is a common question” part. Wow.
3. Canada Eh!
I always wondered the same things about Canada, too, y’know, after always hearing about it on the TV. But do “Canada People” look like Americans? This is what the internet is great for.
2. My Girlfriend is Pregnant…. and…
Ah, the age old question. “Is my unborn son drinking all the blood”. And to think we give these people drivers licenses and the ability to buy automatic weapons.
1. Emo
And my personal favorite. Good ol’ entry level emo kids.
It makes the internet a gigantic playground, it really does.
YourTango.com, a self-described “community for love, sex, dating and relationship advice,” has created an instructional video called “Facebook Manners and You.” Styled after one of those frighteningly cheery ’50s educational films, the video’s instructions for proper behavior on the “electric friendship generator” is funny in a hits-close-to-home way. (I mean, no it doesn’t. No one has ever posted embarrassing photos of me on the Internet!) (See the 25 best blogs of 2009.)
The video covers everything from how to dump someone (do not peak up with your partner by changing your relationship status) to the best practices for starting a hate group (don’t create an “I hate so-and-so” group. But if you already did, don’t use it to call someone a communist). Still, there are a number of Facebook etiquette rules the video does not cover. TIME would like to suggest these additional “electric friendship” guidelines:
1. Stop taking quizzes. Nobody cares what literary time period you are.
2. If you sync your Twitter account to Facebook so that you fill others’ news feeds with a constant stream of mundane updates and references to people with little @ symbols before their names, be prepared for people to de-friend you. Maybe even in real life. (Read “25 More Things I Didn’t Want to Learn About You On Facebook.”)
3. Don’t friend someone you don’t actually know
4. If you must friend someone you don’t know, include a message explaining why you are doing so. For example, “Hi, I’m your cousin’s roommate!” would suffice.
5. Actually, no. Why would your cousin’s roommate want to be your friend? That’s still weird.
6. Don’t invite people to events if they don’t live in your city. I’m glad you still live in our old college town, but guess what? I don’t. Even if I did, I still wouldn’t waste my Friday night listening to you play music at that vegan coffee shop I frequented when I was 19 because I couldn’t get into bars.
7. I’m sorry your grandfather died of emphysema, but I will not join your “cause.”
8. Make sure all your photos are rotated in the proper direction. How will people know how fun your Fourth of July barbecue was if every picture looks like you fell over?
9. If you create a group called “Lost my cell phone; need your numbers!,” I will join, but I won’t give you my number.
10. Cryptic status updates about your mental state – “Rachel is trying so hard,” “Rachel wishes things were different,” “Rachel is starting her life over” – don’t make you sound intriguing, just lonely and pathetic.
Watching sports while drinking can lead to some testosterone-fueled disputes. When one’s favorite player or team gets called into question, it often doesn’t take much more for the situation to escalate to throwing blows across the bar. This situation begs the question, if you had to choose one athlete to join your corner in the scuffle, who would it be? We have a few suggestions of the biggest badasses in sports, past and present.
Towards the end of his Hall of Fame career, Nolan Ryan realized he may have a future in street brawling. After he threw a brush back pitch, batter Robin Ventura charged the mound and quickly found out what it felt like to get his ass beat by a skinny white guy in his 40s. The world was left in awe of Ryan’s ability to man-handle someone nearly half his age. If you’re ever in need of a lesson in how to beat up someone quicker, younger and stronger than you, then take a lesson from this classic display of old-man-strength.
For some reason, Mike Vallely has convinced himself that looking like a homeless guy is cool. Whether or not that adds to his intimidation factor, Vallely has been skateboarding professionally since the mid 80s, but may have taken his fighting style from his recreational hockey play. Since busting onto the scene he has been known to finish a fight or two. Most famously, Vallely took on 4 frat guys at one time with his fists; luckily it was caught on video. This video should prove to anyone that if Vallely is on your side, you are damn near invincible.
Not only can OJ Simpson bring his superior knife skills to your defense, but he also is known to be able to assemble a crack team of legal professionals to assist in getting you off scot-free. Fortunately, Simpson will have nine years to continue honing his fighting skills while serving time for kidnapping and assault. I guess you can add those skills to his fight resume as well.
There are many angry old men who sit at bars, pick fights, and talk crap on the younger generation. If this is the case at your bar, then you want Pedro Martinez on your side. When the Red Sox faced the Yankees in 2003, tempers flared and benches cleared. 72-year-old bench coach Don Zimmer learned to respect the younger, stronger generation when he went after Martinez and was promptly knocked on his face. Bloodied and humiliated, Zimmer became famous for the solid ass-beating he received. With Pedro on your side, the old shit-talkers won’t have a stubby leg to stand on.
When your team roster picture looks like a mug shot, there is a good chance you are no stranger to run-ins with the law. And I would also bet that these run-ins were not the result of merely shoplifting Twizzlers from Circle K. Since Adam “Pacman” Jones’ professional career began in the NFL, he seems to have spent more time in court than on the field. As a rule of thumb, I don’t fuck with anyone whose neck-to-head size ratio is anywhere near 1:1. If you are ever at a bar fight in Dallas, make sure this guy is on your side.
Hockey Goalies aren’t often known for much more than protecting the goal against pucks. Some do it well, others not as well, but only one consistently kicked ass and took names. This 6’3″ Canadian was like a caged wolverine ready to attack anyone who pissed him off. In his nearly 20 seasons as a professional goalie, Hextall still holds the single season record for PIM (penalties in minutes) by a goalie with 113. Thankfully there are no penalty minutes in real life, therefore nothing could stop Hextall from helping you finish your bar fight.
Latrell Sprewell has issues. While in the NBA, Sprewell was known for his bad attitude and difficulty with authority. At the height of his career, Sprewell choked out his coach PJ Carlisimo and then made him apologize after practice. Trouble like this continued to plague Sprewell throughout his successful career. Some have questioned Sprewell’s sanity, but no one in their right mind would question this corn-rowed four-time NBA All-Star’s ability to finish someone off in a scrap.
Known by many as “The Rocket,” Roger Clemens became one of the greatest pitchers to ever play baseball. His 95 mph fastball struck fear in the hearts of many who opposed him. But what demonstrated his true power to intimidate others was his ability to hurl a splintered wooden bat at 95 mph. Clemens now claims he is able to control the roid-rage that caused that incident. Regardless, that type of rage can prove helpful when you have nothing but a pool cue and are caught between drunk opponents and a Foosball table.
According to hockeyfights.com, with over 200 recorded career fights, Bob Probert is widely regarded as the best hockey fighter of all time. His single season record for fights was 23. NHL players learned quickly that Probert was not to be messed with, and that he was better to have on your side than to oppose. The same principle proves true in the barroom floor, Probert is a fighter no one wants to mess with.
Known for hitting the long ball and not taking any crap from anyone, many wonder if Daly has finally passed his prime. After recently being arrested outside a North Carolina Hooters, distinguished golf fans have seemingly turned their back on him and written him off as a has-been. Regardless of what snobby golf fans think, John Daly always has and always will have a little something that the other pros could not (and would not) ever touch.
Professional Skater Gershon Mosley grew up on the tough streets of Compton, Ca in the 8os and 90s. So when fellow professional skater Andrew Reynolds called Mosley the “N” word, he knew he had a beat down coming. And boy did a beat down come. Mosley isn’t a large guy by any means, but he sure used everything in him to teach Reynolds a lesson. Take this from Mosley, size doesn’t matter but crazy fists sure do.
Americans don’t know much about rugby, other than it seems to be a cross between soccer and football. For the Kiwi David Fa’alogo, rugby is life and that means that he basically kicks ass for a living. In a game against New Zealand’s rivals, Fa’alogo felt his opponent had made an unfair move, and responded by bloodying his face up pretty good. Fa’alogo is known for being inhumanly strong and tenacious, two very good qualities for a bar room brawl. See what Fa’alogo can bring to the table in this video below.
Though Chan Ho Park is a pitcher, he has proven he doesn’t fit the stereotype. When an altercation came up between him and the opposing pitcher during an inter-league game. Park answered his opponent with a swift knee to the head. Quick fighters like Park prove to be very useful during bar room scuffles, due to alcohol’s intended effect on the speed of your opponent.
In the final minutes of the World Cup Final, French footballer Zinedine Zidane laid his head not-so-softly on the chest of his unsuspecting shit-talking Italian opponent. Seemingly taking all his frustrations out on this one player, Zidane will forever be known for taking one of the worst cheap shots in the history of sports. Though cheap shots are frowned upon in the public square, they have proven to be very useful when it comes to winning bar brawls.
In baseball, Mo Vaughn was more than just a long bomber, he was also a bruiser. Having been known for protecting his fellow teammates during many bench-clearing brawls, he acted more like a bouncer than your average baseball player. As a giant among mortal men, Vaughn would use his size and strength to pick players off one by one in these instances. Having someone like Mo Vaughn on your side would most likely end any confrontation before it even started.
In late summer of 2007, Jose Offerman was booked on assault charges for using a bat in a minor league fight. To make matters worse, he was banned for life from the Independent League in which he was trying to makes his career comeback. Though hitting someone with a bat is against the law, Offerman has proven that crazy can win fights, even if it lands him in jail.
Mexican League baseball player Izzy Alcantara demonstrated to the world that he has no problem taking on more than one guy at a time. After repeated brush back pitches by the opposing pitcher, Alcantara karate-kicked the catcher and then charged the mound. Though the opposing team surrounded Alcantara, he continued to fight until it was broken up. A fighter with the tenacity of Alcantara would be a welcome edition to anyone’s fight corner no matter where you are in the world.
When the Raiders moved from Oakland to Los Angeles and then back to Oakland, the franchise solidified the following of the most badass fans California had to offer. The Raider Nation not only dress the part, but are down to fight whenever and wherever, and have proved this time and again. If you piss these fans off at a game, whether at home or away, they will start and finish a very brutal fight. It has been proven that if the Raider Nation has your back, then you are in a very safe place.
Ray Lewis is one of the hardest hitting linebackers to ever play the game of football. He is not only known as a killer on the field, but off the field as well. When Lewis was 24 he was accused, along with two other men, of murdering two people. Luckily, Lewis hired some of the same guys who defended OJ, and was eventually exonerated of all charges. Regardless, this incident, along with his devastating hitting on the field, gave him an intimidating reputation.
Jim Everett was a decent quarterback in the 1980s and 90s, but toward the end of his career, his game became plagued with frequent interceptions and multiple injuries. After taking a lot of shit from sports Radio/TV personality Jim Rome calling him “Chris Evert”, a reference to the female tennis star, he confronted him in a television interview. Needless to say, Jim Rome learned on national television to never mess with an All-Pro Quarterback again. Having Everett on your side will definitely help you settle the score with the mouthy douchebags at your local bar.
Today I received an email from the lawyers of author Susan Jeffers, PhD., notifying me that I’d infringed on her trademark by inadvertently using the phrase “feel the fear and do it anyway” in my post last week, 
