Monthly Archives: June 2010

16 iPhone Apps Your Mother Will Kill You For Using

Written by appshopper

iAugment

If you’ve ever been interested to see what you might look like after a breast augmentation or simply want to browse through breasts of all shapes and sizes for sport, iAugment is an app for those curious about cup-size.

Even if you’re not legitimately interested in plastic surgery it’s still fun.

Baby Shaker

First it was fire, then the wheel, then automobiles and airplanes – now we have the Baby Shaker app. It’s amazing what idle hands can create. Yes, the human race is a better place now that crying babies can be killed with just a few abrupt shakes. What would your mother say!?!

Beer, Women and Bad Decisions

Chances are good that as your mom’s first act as a proper matriarch, she counseled you on the pitfalls of beer, women and bad decisions. Lucky for you there is a crude “choose your own adventure” app that will help unravel any strand of remaining quality character that may have existed.

iSnort

For when you want to look really badass by abusing hardcore drugs but are actually too chicken to go through with it, iSnort is a clever little app that makes anyone look like a nose candy veteran – cut it, snort it and enjoy the virtual nose bleed.

Girl Zoomer

For all future voyeurs and aspiring Peeping Toms, the Girl Zoomer is a novelty app that turns your iPhone camera into a pair of binoculars with a 4x zoom. While you could use this handy app for a quality bird identification excursion, the name suggests that you use your powers for good.

Bang!Bang!

Those days of generic toy guns just got up-ended by the Bang!Bang! app that allows users to toggle between realistic revolvers and shotguns on their hand-held screen. Mothers everywhere are surely excited about their children receiving free gun handling lessons from their phones.

While you’re at it, go play with strangers!

iScale

This just in, now drug dealers only have to carry two bits of paraphernalia rather than three! That’s right, the days of carrying your phone, your drugs and that pesky scale are gone because of the innovative iScale. Now, all you need is your phone and your drugs because the iScale app works double duty.

Adult Sex Life

Having problems in the bedroom? The name of the Adult Sex Life app leaves little to the imagination so, it may not come as a surprise to learn that this sexy software is essentially a digital Kama Sutra guide. With just a couple clicks this app teaches all that you should have learned in the high school locker-room.

Dirty Truth or Dare

We’ve all played Truth or Dare at an adolescent party in our friend’s basement but this adult app brings it to a new lusty level. Reminiscent of something you’d find at a swinger’s party, this adult party favor is an encyclopedia of dirty truths and a photo gallery of the naughty dares. Hint: always go for the dare!

Wobble

Like a child always wanting to play with his friend’s toys, men have long and always been fascinated with the boobs they don’t have. The Wobble app is rather mindless but oh so brilliant – simply upload a picture of anything you’d like to see wobble (is there any other option?), and watch it/them come to life.

Cannabis

Need pot in a hurry? There’s an app for that. Yes, the Cannabis app helps users (pardon the pun) locate legal medical marijuana wherever it’s offered in such an easy format that even blurry-eyed stoners can use it.

Playboy

Though this app doesn’t actually include any fully nude images (damn!), your mother might raise a fuss over the Playboy app. Built for viewing Playboy’s various interviews, advice columns and Playmate videos, at least you won’t be lying when you say you read it for the articles.

BulletFlight 1.0

From the creators of Columbine and the DC Snipers comes the BulletFlight app. This program literally turns your iPhone into a legitimate ballistics-calculating computer that can be attached to your gun of choice.

To add to the taboo, this app was released on the same day of Barack Obama’s inauguration.

Slasher

For the vintage movie buffs of the world, the Slasher app was innocently created as homage to a classic – a classic that your mother wouldn’t let you watch. It’s simple but sadistic; your phone simply displays a picture of a knife but when shaken, the Psycho theme is played and your killing fantasies are brought to life.

Porn Star Names LITE

For the aspiring porno stars of the world, this simple app can help you get your start by creating your alias. Though there are a couple apps that will help you generate your swinger stage name, your mother might disapprove of some of the images within this particular interface.

SpoofApp

With a technology such as this, even your mother would have to applaud the ingenuity. The Spoof app helps you to shamelessly prank-call by allowing you to mask the phone number that shows up on the victim’s caller-ID, lets you manipulate your voice for disguise and even allows you to record the conversation for posterity.

SpoofApp

Bonus:Meanwhile, in Japan…

The World Cup Needs Instant Replay… Now

Written by Clay Travis

Sunday’s blown goal call in the Germany and England match needs to be a clarion call from this day forth: The World Cup must have instant replay for all goals or potential goals. In case you missed it, you can watch the goal scored by England’s Frank Lampard by clicking here. England went on to lose the match 4-1, but Lampard’s goal should have tied the game at 2. Anyone who watched this game, you and I included, immediately realized what a bungled call this was.

After the missed call the British would yield two more goals and march back into the ignominy of another failed World Cup. FIFA officials, who have dealt with blown goal calls the entire tournament, refused to comment upon the latest colossal blunder. Instead FIFA arrogantly relied upon the old tried and true statements once trotted out as weak excuses for why there would be no instant replay in American sports leagues. Namely, that instant replay would represent a slippery slope that would lead to too much review, would be difficult to implement, and make the game worse.

Officials missed Lampard’s apparent equalizer
That argument is completely wrong. FIFA must have instant replay for the World Cup.

Now. I know we in America always get charged with cultural imperialism anytime we make suggestions about how to improve the game of soccer. But the obstacles offered to instant replay in the NFL, the NHL, and Major League Baseball, and college football are all the exact same obstacles being offered by FIFA officials today. The point is, as all of our pro leagues have illustrated by implementing instant replay, these objections don’t really make sense.

FIFA’s position is, essentially, that player and referee errors are a part of the game. That’s true, but it’s also idiotic. If you can eliminate some referee errors then you magnify the importance of the on-field performance of the players. Which, in the end, is the goal of all sports, right? Allowing the players to determine the outcome.

Just imagine what would have happened if England and Germany had been playing in the World Cup Final and England had lost after a missed goal like this.

Would the World Cup ever recover in this modern YouTube sports era?

I don’t think so.

That’s because HD television has fundamentally altered the game of soccer just like it has altered every other sport. Fans sitting at home can make instantaneous decisions about the legitimacy of soccer calls. When the World Cup began there was no television, no microphones on the referees that allowed them to communicate with one another, and no Internet community that magnifies every error to the point where those errors overwhelm the majesty of the matches themselves. In 1930, when the World Cup began, only those in attendance could know if a call was missed.

Now, in a moment’s notice, billions can post the errant video on Facebook, Twitter, or a blog.

A failure to allow instant replay isn’t a protection of soccer’s past, it’s a bastardization of soccer’s future.

And it isn’t really that complicated.

In fact, I’ll break down how it should work in five steps.

1. Immediately take all non-goal related decisions off the table for review in the midst of games.

That means the referees would maintain complete discretion to call fouls on the field and to issue penalty cards as they see fit on any plays that do not lead to goals. Examining, for instance, who the ball went off and whether a goal kick or a corner kick should be rewarded would remain entirely at the discretion of the referees.

Errors in these details, while unfortunate, would remain a part of the game. This would not be a system that would micromanage officiating.

Indeed, it would eliminate the need for replay in all but the most important of moments, that is when goals are scored. For 99% of soccer play there would be no stoppage for review.

2. Review every goal in real time.

The technology exists to make the entire goal light up as a ball crosses the line just as the goal lights up in the NHL when a puck enters the net. With chips in the soccer ball, the referee could see the goal light up the moment the ball passed the line and instant replay officials would immediately begin reviewing the footage even as the celebration continued.

For most goals, mere seconds would be all that was necessary.

A review would have shown Clint Dempsey was not offside when he scored against Algeria

Determining a goal in the NHL is much more difficult than determining a goal in soccer, yet the NHL manages to implement its system just about flawlessly.

Using instant replay would have taken about ten seconds for England to be awarded the goal against Germany.

In my opinion, offside calls that negate goals should also be included in this review.

Why?

Because with HD television all of us can see the shading mechanism on the field that demonstrates whether a player was on or offside before a goal was scored. Using this format wouldn’t have kept the United States third goal against Slovenia on the board — which was waved off via a discretionary penalty call — but it would have allowed Clint Dempsey’s first half goal against Algeria.

Again, the trigger for instant replay review only occurs when the ball enters the net.

At no other time would bit be involved.

3. FIFA already permits wasted time during the game and has a mechanism to allow additional time at the end of halves.

Two minutes or so over the course of a game would be a small price to pay for determining the legitimacy of each goal.

If FIFA is truly concerned about stopping play, why don’t they go after flopping and fake injuries aggressively? That adds at least six minutes or so to every match.

Reviewing every goal would add, at most, two minutes to your average soccer game, potentially less.

Isn’t that worth it?

Of course it is.

4. FIFA officials would probably welcome the change.

This is the real irony here, allowing replay review often strengthens the public perception of officiating.

How?

Because in super slow-motion HD, as often as we recognize missed calls, we more often than not realize an official made the correct call. We’re only talking about a few missed calls here on goals or not-goals that have clouded the perception of the entire tournament.

Think of, for instance, the small percentage of NFL calls that are reversed. Using instant replay in the NFL hasn’t demeaned confidence in officials, it’s actually increased confidence.

The same would hold true in the World Cup.

What’s more, knowing that they won’t be castigated for an unintentional error that changes the outcome of a game often allows officials to relax and call a better game than they otherwise would.

My point: Instant replay doesn’t undermine officials, it increase their authority.

5. The appearance of corruption is vastly diminished.

Let’s be clear here, soccer officiating has a dirty connotation in much of the world. Part of that has to do with the global nature of World Cup officiating, there’s a sense that petty feuds and dislikes can lead to borderline calls going against your country. Put it this way, the World Cup makes NBA officiating seem above board.

For an American soccer fan it always seems as if we’re getting screwed somehow. Partly, that’s fan perception. We tend to see things in the light most favorable to our teams interests. But is there some legitimacy to anti-Americanism in soccer?

I think so.

Putting the most important plays in soccer — goals — up for immediate review would go a long way towards cleansing the palate of the taste of corruption.

Ultimately, scoring a goal in the World Cup is one of the rarest feats in all of sports. Amazing skill, tremendous team play, the perfect pass, the glorious shot, everything must coalesce at an instant of full speed fury to manage a goal. That’s why the transcendent joy that heralds the scoring of a goal is a moment like no other, you’ve just managed the most difficult feat in all of team sports.

Doesn’t FIFA owe it to soccer fans across the world to make certain that we don’t ever lose a single goal that should have counted?

Of course it does.

That’s why the World Cup needs instant replay.

Immediately.

7 Ways To Kill Your Chances Of Getting A Date Online

Written by Shawn Norris

Internet dating sites are becoming hugely popular in these bustling times, and places like Yahoo! Personals and Match.com are boasting that 25% of relationships are now started on internet dating sites like themselves. This is great news for some folks, but it got me wondering if there isn’t a reason some of these folks can’t seem to meet people in real-life. Maybe there are some things about a few of these people that are just a little “off” and that’s the reason they have trouble finding the special someone. These are a few things that may make people stop and say, “Hey wait minute…”, when they are scanning your profile. A few red flags like these could cost you your chance at eternal happiness.

7 The screen name or profile has “princess” in it
Sometimes a screen name is just a screen name; women just fall back on the old standard when devising a pseudonym for their profile. But other times it should serve as a warning that this young lady may be a little high maintenance. “I want a man who will treat me like the princess I am…” Well, that a wonderful thought (and may happen), but a lot of profiles such as this show a woman with unreasonable expectations. Sure, you want to shoot for the stars and be unequivocally happy in your relationship, but having your profile read like you’re looking for a life straight out of a Shakespearean play is a little much. Sure, most women would want daily back rubs on a yacht, someone that looks like Brad Pitt, a person with time and cash to spend every waking hour pampering them with wine and roses, but this is real life. That sounds like a lot of work for someone I’ve never even met before and shows some serious reasons to potential suitors on why you aren’t currently in a relationship. Actually it screams from the mountain tops, “I’m unbelievably high maintenance and nothing you will do will ever be enough!” Most people should just shoot for having someone to laugh, love and share their life with. And hey, maybe you get some of those things you were looking for in the process.

6 My favorite book is “insert weird or offensive choice here”
Letting your potential suitor know that your favorite book as a child was Curious George or I used to love reading Dr. Seuss when I was little are nice little tidbits of information that he/she will find cute and endearing when reading your profile. Listing your favorite books says a lot about a person and can end up being a deal breaker because it is something you can talk about and may show the type of ideals or entertainment you and your match share. Listing things like Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, or Aleister Crowley’s The Book of Law are going to send out some serious weird signals (especially because there is no room on the form to explain your choice). I’m guessing a good portion of men and women on dating sites don’t want their first-date dinner conversation to be about the dark arts or genocide.

5 Listing that you drink “daily” or do drugs “daily”
No judgment here on my part, I’m simply stating that listing that you drink like Dudley Moore in Arthur or smoke enough weed to make Snoop Dogg jealous may not be endearing to a potential boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe you only drink a glass of wine a day or smoke after a long day at the office, but listing “daily” for these may make you sound as if you are a raging alcoholic or a drug dealer. Again, it’s the wording and lack of options of the website that gets you here. Who knows, maybe some people won’t mind it, but chances are that people looking at your profile may get the wrong impression from this and you may miss out on true love…or true love may be passed out on a keg in the living room. To each his/her own.

4 Putting that you “definitely” want kids
The option of “someday” is probably the right answer here, ladies. Putting “definitely” kinda makes it sound like you’re baby crazy. Hey, I understand that you want to be as truthful and honest as you can in order to meet your perfect match, but when “definitely wants children” is in your by-line, it is gonna scare some men away–especially when “someday” is an option, rather than “definitely.” And a lot of women want kids, which is fine and perfectly natural. I’m not saying that one should lie when making a profile, it just may be a better option to pick a word that doesn’t seem to make having children seem so finite. A lot of people who would date you may want kids too, but it’s probably a good idea to meet someone you love and think would make a good parent before making a decision like this.

3 It says on your profile that you created your own religion

“I’m a minister for my religious sect, ‘The First Church of Mikhail Kalashnikov! My sermons are a mix of Christianity, Voodoo, Pokemon cards, black magic and firearms — lots of firearms.” Sounds like a scary way to spend a Sunday morning. But who knows, maybe that guy has it right? Religion is simply a mixture of faith, love and compassion. However, if you are of an odd or (truly) unorthodox religious sect, people may be turned off by it. Not to say that they are right or correct in their religious viewpoints, but going to church or temple or a mosque is quite different than the gun and liquor hootenanny that the guy who created “The First Church of Mikhail Kalashnikov” performs each Sunday morning for his “followers.” I’m a firm believer in the 2nd Amendment, but a good portion of people would draw the line at going to a religious sermon with so many guns that you start having ‘Nam flashbacks and you’re only 23-years-old.

2 I’m 21 years old and I have 3 kids
Your decision making skills seem…loose at best. While most men would enjoy that you don’t always expect them to be wearing a condom when the date comes to an end and most women like a man that can take care of children–having a lot of children at a fairly young age probably does not bode well for most people looking for love on Match.com. There are a litany of reasons for this: some folks may want kids but not starting immediately, obviously there is probably going to be at least one other man/woman that will have an affect on your relationship (nobody wants to worry about crazy ex’s who are baby daddies/mommas), and if you are dating someone with kids, there is always going to be someone else around that is more important than you. I’m not saying that it’s a competition, but it can put a serious strain on a relationship because it’s hard to get to really know someone when time has to be divided up between your mate and your kids. On one hand, having a lot of kids at a young age shows a person has to have certain type of maturity because they take care of children, but on the other hand, it shows a complete lack of maturity to get yourself into that situation in the first place.

1 Listing watching porn as a hobby
It’s probably happened before. Sure, the internet consists mostly of websites where people are getting intimate with men, women, animals, clowns, inanimate objects and a world of other things, but it’s not something that you probably want to go around telling people. And the pron industry rakes in billions of dollars a year, so quite a few people are looking at it. But more times than not, that’s not something you want to share on a dating site. Let me rephrase that: Unless you are a woman, this is probably something you save about yourself until after the honeymoon. To some people (ballpark–almost every male alive) a woman that enjoys pornography is a plus. And if your hobby is making pornography, that is probably something you save sharing about yourself until the honeymoon. Surprise, honey! Let’s make this a night that well remember for the rest of our lives and probably long after that.

Bonus: Have a nice day!

10 things we still print that should be digital by now

Written by printingchoice

When was the last time you wrote a check? 2004? Well, if you’re like most people, the bank keeps sending you little reminders, pestering you to order more. We live in an increasingly digitized world, and with every new invention comes fewer reasons to print things like checks. Yet we still have them, and many other things that could just as easily be digital, saving us not only paper, but time and money.

Here are 10 everyday items that could — and should — be 100% digital by now, but aren’t. For the love… somebody please do something about it!

Checks


First of all, who uses checks anymore? You’ll never see a more angry line of customers at the checkout counter than those waiting behind some old guy who’s slowly recording his shopping total in the back of his checkbook. Very few businesses today (in the U.S. at least) say “yes” to checks and “no” to credit cards. Most of the time, it’s the other way around. Checks take time to clear and have high rates of fraud and bouncing. But the bottom line is we have a grip of digital alternatives; checks are inefficient and waste paper.

Instead: Credit cards; E-checks; or typing in your PayPal information at the checkout counter.

Paper Currency


While we’re on the subject of money, it’s time to face the truth that paper money is so 20th century. In 2007, the US Treasury was printing 38 million notes a day (and that figure may be higher now). That’s a lot of paper.

The bills themselves have little inherent value. In an increasingly digital world, it makes sense to save all those printing and transportation costs, all that space, and all that time and just make money digital. Wired recently published this very argument, and they generally have a good handle on what’s in the future. It’s definitely not more paper money.

Instead:
Using your smartphone to pay; credit cards; QR- or bar-codes; peer to peer money-sending apps like Venmo.

Airline Tickets

It’s only been a couple of years since a lot of airlines stopped using those horrible green and white cardboard tickets with illegible text on them. Now many of us can print our own tickets at home or get them printed on demand at an airport kiosk. But when it comes down to it, what’s the point? The airlines have a digital record of who’s on the plane anyway. And they make you show your ID all over again even if you have a ticket. It would be smart to ditch the paper tickets entirely.

Instead: E-tickets on smartphones; just show your ID and credit card; retinal scanners.

Drivers Licenses

Why does identification have to be printed out on a card? Fingerprinting tech has been around for decades. And anyone who’s seen Minority Report knows that eye scanners are the future of ID (at least until the black market figures out out eye transplants). Furthermore, as more and more people carry mobile devices with them everywhere, it makes sense to combine identification into a cellphone or smartphone. Sure, there will be lots of security issues to overcome, but in the end it will be smarter, more efficient, and just plain sexier.

Instead: Mobile devices as primary form of ID; retinal scanners; fingerprint scanners.

Passports

Same goes for passports. If government agencies and airlines can just get along (sync up their data), digital passports will be a lot easier to manage than their paper-wasting counterparts. For one, any time a suspect crosses airport security, authorities can be instantly notified. Right now if when you go through security, the overweight guy with the blue flashlight just checks for forgery and you’re on your way. A digital system will remove human error, enhance communication, and facilitate travel faster than the paper method.

Instead: Mobile devices as primary form of ID; retinal scanners; fingerprint scanners.

Business Cards

Nothing’s more archaic in the 21st century than handing out your name and email address on little slivers of dead trees. That info will automatically be saved in your contact list online as soon as you go home and write that “Nice meeting you” follow-up email. So why does contact info even need to cross the digital threshold if it’s only going back to cyberspace? Apps like Bump for the iPhone let you share contact information as fast as it takes to bump fists. It leaves a lot more room in your pockets, too.

Instead: Mobile apps; QR-codes; just type it in your freaking phone.

Receipts

I recently bought something from a store where they asked me if they could email me my receipt instead of printing one. It was cool, because I would have thrown that piece of paper anyway. Keeping your receipts in the cloud is much safer and smarter than keeping them all in a box under your desk. And as smartphones keep permeating society, it really should be possible to beam your receipt straight from the cashier to your phone rather than print you out an indecipherable receipt.

Instead: Email receipts; send receipts to smartphones.

Traffic and Parking Tickets

Don’t put that ugly orange envelope on my car! It’s gonna get rained on anyway, and it’s a waste of taxes. Police and parking officers should be able to e-ticket you by looking up your license plate number, generating an email and invoice informing you of your violation and how you can pay online. For that matter, speeding tickets should be handled the same way. An officer could attach photo or video proof of the violation to the e-ticket so you and the judge could see. It would add a layer of proof and transparency to everything in addition to saving paper and ink.

Instead: Email invoices with attached video or photo documentation of violation.

Bulletin Board Flyers

Every college dorm, every municipal building, and half the telephone poles in your hometown are plastered with tattered flyers of all colors and varieties. This amounts to about a zillion pounds of trash every month. In this digital age, bulletin boards ought to be digital screens where flyer posters can pay for space in which to put digital flyers. In fact, bulletin board companies could create networks of boards where people could submit their e-flyers to be syndicated across all their boards at once. Save time hoofing it to the next dorm; save tape; save paper. Makes a lot of sense.

Instead: Digital bulletin boards.

Newspapers

This is the one everyone was waiting for. Yes, at this point in history the newspaper knows its time is almost done. When Marc Andreesen famously told Charlie Rose that The New York Times should “kill the print edition,” he was speaking from a business perspective: cut those costs and focus on the web. But another consideration is waste. 60 million newspapers are printed daily in the US. That’s a lot of paper and a lot of delivery trucks. We have the ability to read the news online, so why do we continue to level a forest a day just to print them out?

Instead: Newspaper websites; blogs; the friggin iPad (and the awesome Android and other tablets that will hopefully come out soon).

Of course, there will always be some things that will be printed out. Some people will never give up paperback books; a market may always exist for them. And that’s fine. At the same time, there are so many things that we have no reason not to switch to digital. These 10 are certainly the tip of the iceberg. Please add your own to the list in the comments!

All coupons for discount online printing: (click a logo below)

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Bonus? Epic News Headline…

What Happens to Your Body If You Drink a Coke Right Now

Written by Blisstree Staff

Have you ever wondered why Coke comes with a smile? Because it gets you high. They removed the cocaine almost 100 years ago. Why? It was redundant.

    Coke
  • In the first 10 minutes: 10 teaspoons of sugar hit your system. (100% of your recommended daily intake.) You don’t immediately vomit from the overwhelming sweetness because phosphoric acid cuts the flavor, allowing you to keep it down.
  • 20 minutes: Your blood sugar spikes, causing an insulin burst. Your liver responds to this by turning any sugar it can get its hands on into fat. (And there’s plenty of that at this particular moment.)
  • 40 minutes: Caffeine absorption is complete. Your pupils dilate; your blood pressure rises; as a response, your liver dumps more sugar into your bloodstream. The adenosine receptors in your brain are now blocked, preventing drowsiness.
  • 45 minutes: Your body ups your dopamine production, stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way heroin works, by the way.
  • > 60 minutes: The phosphoric acid binds calcium, magnesium, and zinc in your lower intestine, providing a further boost in metabolism. This is compounded by high doses of sugar and artificial sweeteners also increasing the urinary excretion of calcium.
  • > 60 minutes: The caffeine’s diuretic properties come into play. (It makes you have to pee.) It is now assured that you’ll evacuate the bonded calcium, magnesium, and zinc that was headed to your bones as well as sodium, electrolytes, and water.
  • > 60 minutes: As the rave inside you dies down, you’ll start to have a sugar crash. You may become irritable and/or sluggish. You’ve also now, literally, pissed away all the water that was in the Coke. But not before infusing it with valuable nutrients your body could have used for things like hydrating your system, or building strong bones and teeth.

This will all be followed by a caffeine crash in the next few hours. (As little as two if you’re a smoker.) Want to know what happens after that? Check out what happens to your body after you drink a coke, every day for a long time.

Coke itself isn’t the enemy here. It’s the dynamic combo of massive sugar doses combined with caffeine and phosphoric acid, which are found in almost all sodas. Moderation, people!

photo: Thinkstock

This post was originally written by Liz Lewis.

Bonus:The Cutest Picture Ever Taken

source

15 Things You Should Know About Marijuana

If you are anything like me, you love infographics because they make lots of information extremely easy to read and digest. So when the team at Term Life Insurance came to me with the opportunity to work with them on a marijuana infographic I HAD to take the opportunity. So after lots of research and blunts smoked, here is an awesome marijuana infographic that shows some facts about marijuana that you probably didn’t know yet. I even learned a thing or two, this plant is even more amazing than I thought. Enjoy.

15 Things Your Should Know about Marijuana
Via: Term Life Insurance