Written by thenextweb

When Ms. Bonnie Ware, a nurse who worked for years with the dying, posted her list of the top 5 regrets people say aloud on their deathbed, we teared up a little bit here at TNW.

According to the blog post, the following regrets were first posted in The Observer in 2010, and we’ve recopied them for you here below. But instead of just the grandmotherly bits of advice about dreams having gone unfulfilled, we’ve supplemented each regret with some rockstar advice on how to not have these regrets in the digital age.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

TNW Advice: We interview so many entrepreneurs here at The Next Web, some of whom will succeed, most of whom will fail. But it’s about going out and creating a reality out of what was once just an idea in your head. Today, due to the Internet’s accessibility, smart people are discovering that instead of getting the next big paying cog-in-a-machine job that they are able to start their own company and they’re receiving a lot of satisfaction from doing so.

“Yesterday, I had an epiphany that for the first time in my life, who I am and who I want to be are virtually one in the same. It’s so much more effective to be yourself than to pretend to be something your not because doing the latter is so emotionally taxing, you’ll never be someone that is fully committed. Being yourself pays dividends.”

-Brett Martin, the CEO and Founder of Sonar, a hot new social, location-based mobile application.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

TNW Advice: We are really hard workers here at The Next Web, in fact, I am pretty sure that @Zee hasn’t slept in the past 36 hours. But being a Dutch-based company, our roots are in relaxation. We know how to unwind after hard days.

If you need some literary inspiration, read up on How To Disconnect, A Primer andThe value in jumping off the social media train.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

TNW Advice: Expressing your feelings to loved ones and blogging or tweeting your thoughts are two different things. People often use Twitter as a soap box to express their anger or resentment over things they can not control. We’d like to take this time to remind you that as much as we love living in the virtual world, sometimes a hug, a long chat over a glass of wine or a phone call to a loved one far away is more valuable than any social media valuation, no matter how ludicrous.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

TNW Advice: At first glance, this is a relatively easy problem to tackle as social networks, namely Facebook, have allowed us to keep up with too many friends and social connections. My best friends always say, “Thank god for Facebook, because I know you’re alive.” And this is slightly concerning. My best friends have to follow me on Facebook to know I’m alive? Use Facebook to keep in quick contact with friends, but defer to real life for those that matter. Pokes, Likes and Comments are not the same as ladies’ lunches, beach trips and dinner parties. Make the time.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

TNW Advice: If you’re reading this, chances are you have a long way to go before you die. So, please, allow yourself to be happy. Smile in the sunshine, kick the ball around with your son, have a glass of wine with your wife in the afternoon, move to Argentina, buy yourself that iPad 2 even if you think you don’t need it, buy yourself a Kindle, because you won’t regret it; whatever it is, be good to yourself.

Bonus: The best way to honor our veterans

Written by Marelisa

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to make drastic changes in order to notice an improvement in the quality of your life. At the same time, you don’t need to wait a long time in order to see the measurable results that come from taking positive action. All you have to do is take small steps, and take them consistently, for a period of 100 days.

Below you’ll find 60 small ways to improve all areas of your life in the next 100 days.

Home

1.  Create a “100 Days to Conquer Clutter Calendar” by penciling in one group of items you plan to declutter every day, for the next 100 days.  Here’s an example:

• Day 1: Declutter Magazines
• Day 2: Declutter DVD’s
• Day 3: Declutter books
• Day 4: Declutter kitchen appliances

2. Live by the mantra: a place for everything and everything in its place. For the next 100 days follow these four rules to keep your house in order:

• If you take it out, put it back.
• If you open it, close it.
• If you throw it down, pick it up.
• If you take it off, hang it up.

3. Walk around your home and identify 100 things you’ve been tolerating; fix one each day. Here are some examples:

• A burnt light bulb that needs to be changed.
• A button that’s missing on your favorite shirt.
• The fact that every time you open your top kitchen cabinet all of the plastic food containers fall out.

Happiness

4.  Follow the advice proffered by positive psychologists and write down 5 to 10 things that you’re grateful for, every day.

5. Make a list of 20 small things that you enjoy doing, and make sure that you do at least one of these things every day for the next 100 days. Your list can include things such as the following:

• Eating your lunch outside.
• Calling your best friend to chat.
• Taking the time to sit down and read a novel by your favorite author for a few minutes.

6. Keep a log of your mental chatter, both positive and negative, for ten days. Be as specific as possible:

• How many times do you beat yourself up during the day?
• Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
• Are you constantly thinking critical thoughts of others?
• How many positive thoughts do you have during the day?

Also, make a note of the emotions that accompany these thoughts. Then, for the next 90 days, begin changing your emotions for the better by modifying your mental chatter.

7. For the next 100 days, have a good laugh at least once a day: get one of those calendars that has a different joke for every day of the year, or stop by a web site that features your favorite cartoons.

Learning/Personal Development

8. Choose a book that requires effort and concentration and read a little of it every day, so that you read it from cover to cover in 100 days.

9. Make it a point to learn at least one new thing each day: the name of a flower that grows in your garden, the capital of a far-off country, or the name of a piece of classical music you hear playing in your favorite clothing boutique as you shop. If it’s time for bed and you can’t identify anything you’ve learned that day, take out your dictionary and learn a new word.

10. Stop complaining for the next 100 days. A couple of years back, Will Bowen gave a purple rubber bracelet to each person in his congregation to remind them to stop complaining. “Negative talk produces negative thoughts; negative thoughts produce negative results”, says Bowen. For the next 100 days, whenever you catch yourself complaining about anything, stop yourself.

11. Set your alarm a minute earlier every day for the next 100 days. Then make sure that you get out of bed as soon as your alarm rings, open the windows to let in some sunlight, and do some light stretching. In 100 days you’ll be waking up an hour and forty minutes earlier than you’re waking up now.

12. For the next 100 days, keep Morning Pages, which is a tool suggested by Julia Cameron. Morning Pages are simply three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning.

13. For the next 100 days make it a point to feed your mind with the thoughts, words, and images that are most consistent with who you want to be, what you want to have, and what you want to achieve.

Finances

14. Create a spending plan (also known as a budget). Track every cent that you spend for the next 100 days to make sure that you’re sticking to your spending plan.

15. Scour the internet for frugality tips, choose ten of the tips that you find, and apply them for the next 100 days.  Here are some possibilities:

• Go to the grocery store with cash and a calculator instead of using your debit card.
• Take inventory before going to the grocery store to avoid buying repeat items.
• Scale back the cable.
• Ask yourself if you really need a landline telephone.
• Consolidate errands into one trip to save on gas.

Keep track of how much money you save over the next 100 days by applying these tips.

16. For the next 100 days, pay for everything with paper money and keep any change that you receive. Then, put all of your change in a jar and see how much money you can accumulate in 100 days.

17. Don’t buy anything that you don’t absolutely need for 100 days. Use any money you save by doing this to do one of the following:

• Pay down your debt, if you have any.
• Put it toward your six month emergency fund.
• Start setting aside money to invest.

18. Set an hour aside every day for the next 100 days to devote to creating one source of passive income.

Time Management

19. For the next 100 days, take a notebook with you everywhere in order to keep your mind decluttered. Record everything, so that it’s safely stored in one place—out of your head—where you can decide what to do with it later. Include things such as the following:

• Ideas for writing assignments.
• Appointment dates.
• To Do list items

20. Track how you spend your time for 5 days. Use the information that you gather in order to create a time budget: the percentage of your time that you want to devote to each activity that you engage in on a regular basis. This can include things such as:

• Transportation
• Housework
• Leisure
• Income-Generating Activities

Make sure that you stick to your time budget for the remaining 95 days.

21. Identify one low-priority activity which you can stop doing for the next 100 days, and devote that time to a high priority task instead.

22. Identify five ways in which you regularly waste time, and limit the time that you’re going to spend on these activities each day, for the next 100 days. Here are three examples:

• Watch no more than half-an-hour of television a day.
• Spend no more than half-an-hour each day on social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Stumbleupon.
• Spend no more than twenty minutes a day playing video games.

23. For the next 100 days, stop multi-tasking; do one thing at a time without distractions.

24. For the next 100 days, plan your day the night before.

25. For the next 100 days, do the most important thing on your To-Do list first, before you do anything else.

26. For the next 14 weeks, conduct a review of each week. During your weekly review, answer the following:

• What did you accomplish?
• What went wrong?
• What went right?

27. For the next 100 days, spend a few minutes at the end of each day organizing your desk, filing papers, and making sure that your work area is clean and orderly, so that you can walk in to a neat desk the next day.

28. Make a list of all of the commitments and social obligations that you have in the next 100 days. Then, take out a red pen and cross out anything that does not truly bring you joy or help move you along the path to achieving your main life goals.

29. For the next 100 days, every time that you switch to a new activity throughout the day stop and ask yourself, “Is this the best use of my time at this moment?”

Health

30. Losing a pound of fat requires burning 3500 calories.  If you reduce your caloric intake by 175 calories a day for the next 100 days, you’ll have lost 5 pounds in the next 100 days.

31. For the next 100 days, eat five servings of vegetables every day.

32.  For the next 100 days, eat three servings of fruit of every day.

33. Choose one food that constantly sabotages your efforts to eat healthier—whether it’s the decadent cheesecake from the bakery around the corner, deep-dish pizza, or your favorite potato chips—and go cold turkey for the next 100 days.

34.  For the next 100 days, eat from a smaller plate to help control portion size.

35. For the next 100 days, buy 100% natural juices instead of the kind with added sugar and preservatives.

36. For the next 100 days, instead of carbonated drinks, drink water.

37. Create a list of 10 healthy, easy to fix breakfast meals.

38. Create a list of 20 healthy, easy to fix meals which can be eaten for lunch or dinner.

39. Create a list of 10 healthy, easy to fix snacks.

40. Use your lists of healthy breakfast meals, lunches, dinners, and snacks in order to plan out your meals for the week ahead of time. Do this for the next 14 weeks.

41. For the next 100 days, keep a food log. This will help you to identify where you’re deviating from your planned menu, and where you’re consuming extra calories.

42. For the next 100 days, get at least twenty minutes of daily exercise.

43. Wear a pedometer and walk 10,000 steps, every day, for the next 100 days. Every step you take during the day counts toward the 10,000 steps:

• When you walk to your car.
• When you walk from your desk to the bathroom.
• When you walk over to talk to a co-worker, and so on.

44. Set up a weight chart and post it up in your bathroom. Every week for the next 14 weeks, keep track of the following:

• Your weight.
• Your percentage of body fat.
• Your waist circumference.

45. For the next 100 days, set your watch to beep once an hour, or set up a computer reminder, to make sure that you drink water on a regular basis throughout the day.

46. For the next 100 days, make it a daily ritual to mediate, breath, or visualize every day in order to calm your mind.

Your Relationship 

47.   For the next 100 days, actively look for something positive in your partner every day, and write it down.

48. Create a scrapbook of all the things you and your partner do together during the next 100 days. At the end of the 100 days, give your partner the list you created of positive things you observed about them each day, as well as the scrapbook you created.

49. Identify 3 actions that you’re going to take each day, for the next 100 days, in order to strengthen your relationship. These can include the following:

• Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” to your significant other every morning.
• Hug your significant other as soon as you see each other after work.
• Go for a twenty minute walk together every day after dinner; hold hands.

Social

50. Connect with someone new every day for the next 100 days, whether it’s by greeting a neighbor you’ve never spoken to before, following someone new on Twitter, leaving a comment on a blog you’ve never commented on before, and so on.

51. For the next 100 days, make it a point to associate with people you admire, respect and want to be like.

52. For the next 100 days, when someone does or says something that upsets you, take a minute to think over your response instead of answering right away.

53. For the next 100 days, don’t even think of passing judgment until you’ve heard both sides of the story.

54. For the next 100 days do one kind deed for someone every day, however small, even if it’s just sending a silent blessing their way.

55. For the next 100 days, make it a point to give praise and approval to those who deserve it.

56. For the next 100 days, practice active listening. When someone is talking to you, remain focused on what they’re saying, instead of rehearsing in your head what you’re going to say next. Paraphrase what you think you heard them say to make sure that you haven’t misinterpreted them, and encourage them to elaborate on any points you’re still not clear about.

57. Practice empathy for the next 100 days. If you disagree with someone, try to see the world from their perspective; put yourself in their shoes. Be curious about the other person, about their beliefs and their life experience, and about the thinking process that they followed to reach their conclusions.

58. For the next 100 days, stay in your own life and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.

59. For the next 100 days, place the best possible interpretation on the actions of others.

60. For the next 100 days, keep reminding yourself that everyone is doing the best that they can.

(Sunday Morning Still Life is courtesy of Pen Waggener).

 

Bonus: After not seeing my dog in 5 months, I skyped with him last night. My mom sent me this after we disconnected:

Written by Whitson Gordon

Protecting your privacy on the internet these days seems like a hefty undertaking, but there are a few things you can do to protect your privacy with just the click of a button. Here are our favorite super-simple tricks.

We’ve talked about our 10 favorite privacy hacks before, but a lot of times inducing a privacy-oriented overhaul on your workflow is time consuming, and sometimes it just might not fit the way you work (it’s not imperative, of course, that everyone quit Facebook without quitting Facebook, and your less tech-savvy friends and relatives may not have the patience for the more involved set-ups. These tweaks are, instead, very simple tricks that we think everyone should use, whether you’re a tin-foil hat wearer or you just want to reduce the spam in your email inbox. They’re so simple, in fact, that even the less tech-savvy should have no problem setting them up with a few clicks.

10. Use Temporary Credit Cards to Avoid Repeat Billing

Whether you want to add some extra security to your online purchases, or you just want to save yourself from overbilling, temporary credit cards are a great help. Most card issuers have them (usually called “safe shopping” cards or “gift cards”), and you can choose the card’s spending limit, expiration date, and more. That way, you can make sure that automatic billing doesn’t kick in unless you absolutely want it too (after all, it can’t charge you if there’s no money left on the card). Plus, if anyone ever gets a hold of your account information, all they have is a gift card with a spending limit, not your real credit card. Photo by _Dinkel_.

9. Leave Your Home Address Off Your GPS Unit

If you aren’t into everyone knowing where you are at all times, you’ll want to make sure any given app doesn’t share your location. Usually this is pretty simple: don’t use services like Foursquare, turn off Facebook Places, etc. But don’t ignore the obvious, either: the “Home” button on your smartphone or navigation unit, for example, could lead any car thief right to your home. Instead, use a nearby landmark as your “home” location—that way, your navigation unit will always lead you close enough so you know how to get back, but won’t lead any ne’er-do-wells right to your front door. Photo by D’Arcy Norman.

8. Use a Fake Birthday for Web Signups

Most of the information web sites ask for when you sign up is unnecessary, and sometimes even unsafe. Identity thieves can do quite a bit of damage with just your birthday. Make sure you don’t post both the date and the year of your birthday on anything public like Facebook, and if you’re required to use it for a web signup, just use an un-birthday to keep their demographic data in place, but without giving out all your personal information.

7. Change Your Gender for Less Annoying Ads

If the ads on your favorite web site are particularly obnoxious, an easy way to avoid them is to try changing the gender on your account. Spotify, for example, seems to only advertise Spotify features and music albums to women. Similarly, setting your gender as male can help you escape the annoying diet or motherhood ads on certain sites if you’re a woman. It differs from site to site which ads are less annoying, too. I don’t really need the birth control pills Pandora’s selling me, but those ads are far less intrusive than the giant, animated Bud Light ads it had when my account was “male”.

6. Use HTTPS Whenever Possible

HTTPS is a super easy way to stay safe on the net, and a lot of services will use it by default with a quick settings tweak. You can enable it on Facebook, Twitter, and Gmail by just ticking a checkbox. For everything else, there’s the HTTPS Everywhere extension, which will use HTTPS on any site that allows it.

5. Use AdBlock, Even if You Don’t Block Ads

You may have heard a lot about extensions like AdBlock Plus, but ignored them because you want to support the sites you visit (and we thank you for that). However, AdBlock extensions are great privacy tools, even if you aren’t blocking ads. They can keep you protected from known malware spreaders, and even keep sites like Pandora from hijacking your Facebook login. All you need is a few simple filters in place to put another brick on the privacy wall.

4. Save Yourself from IM Distractions and Annoyances

There’s nothing more annoying (or distracting) than getting an instant message from someone you don’t want to talk to. Luckily, there are quite a few things you can do to keep your IMs more private, like only allowing your friends to message you, go invisible on a schedule, or only show your online status to the Facebook friends you actually like.

3. Use Disposable Email Addresses to Avoid Spam

One of the best ways to wipe out spam in your inbox is to use a disposable email address for the internet’s sketchier sites. If you visit a site that requires an email address but that you don’t fully trust, using a service like previously mentioned Trashmail or the simpler 10 Minute Mail, you can use a quick temporary email address to get the necessary “confirmation email” and ignore any future spam that might come your way.

2. Create Secure, Easy-to-Remember Passwords

While the most secure password is one you can’t remember, there are a lot of tricks to creating easy, memorable passwords without making them easy to guess. We’ve shared many password-creation tricks before, likestoring your passwords in a dictionary, or making sure you use multi-word phrases for better protection. Even just adding a space or two to your passwords can make it much harder to break—just make sure you have a good system in place so you can easily remember them all.

1. Keep Your Security Questions as Private as Your Passwords

Strong passwords are important, but they’re utterly useless if your “security question” is something anyone can answer. Instead of going the traditional security question route, you could use a formula to create a memorable, yet indecipherable security question, or even shift your hands on the keyboard. In addition, you could just use word association to make the question easy for you, but hard for others—e.g., “What’s your mother’s maiden name?” could be answered with your favorite Iron Maiden album instead.

Got any of your own favorite one-click privacy tricks? Share them with us in the comments.

Bonus:I thought it might be funny for here.

Written by guyism

It finally feels like spring (for those of us unfortunate enough to live in four season states), and that means the sidewalks are flooded with people. Now that it’s warm and the sun is shining, it seems as if every couple has taken to the streets to advertise their undying love for each other. I’m all for free, especially if it’s fleeting, love, but there need to be some guidelines for public behavior.

Specifically, I want to address holding hands in public. It may seem like a harmless display of affection, but if mismanaged, it becomes a nuisance to everyone nearby. The three main things that you need to consider are the impression it gives, if look like an idiot, and most importantly, if you are in my way. I may have the agility of a gibbon, but I don’t feel that it’s my responsibility to go Ninja Warrior just to get to home from work every day.

Here’s a quick guide to what to avoid, what’s allowed, and what you should start doing. Follow these to the letter or accept the fact that I may play a one-man game of Red Rover with you and lady friend.

Approved Methods of Holding Hands

The Traditional

If you’ve ever had the privilege of holding a woman’s hand, this was most likely what it looked like. It’s a standard maneuver. It’s not embarrassing, yet not overbearing. No one will think twice about it, but it lets your lady-friend know that you care. Much like with a cocktail, you really can’t go wrong with something traditional.

Interlacing Fingers

This is the typical hand-lock for anyone who has been together for a decent length of time. It tells her that you aren’t holding her hand just to make her happy but rather that you actually enjoy her company. If you pull this off during the first couple dates, sex is almost guaranteed to follow. Yes, I know that’s a big jump, but locking fingers is flat out sexy.

Yes, that’s it. There are only two. Anything else should be avoided like Lady Gaga’s nether regions.

Forbidden Hand-Holding Techniques

The Solo Grip

While at first this seems very similar to the traditional hold, they aren’t as close as they appear. Unless you are the sort of person that dominates your woman (not in the good way), stay away from a one-sided grip. Clearly one person is doing all the holding in this case, and the other is just along for the ride. Women are our peers, at least they will be if the Equal Rights Amendment ever passes, and should be treated as such. Save this one for your daughter, if you are so unlucky as to have one.

The Pinky Hold

If you ever find yourself partaking in a pinky hold, please immediately check to ensure your man parts are still intact. This may be the most emasculating thing you can do in public. I would sooner carry around my girlfriend’s teacup poodle in a pink bag than be caught by a friend while holding hands like this. Not only does it make you look like you are 14, it also shows that your woman clearly wears the pants in the relationship. Remember, we’re still the ones that can pee standing up, and that means something where I come from.

The Long Distance

The love chain is the inspiration for my desire to play a one-sided game of Red Rover. You may be thinking that people don’t actually do this, but trust me, they do. Apparently there are hundreds of couples in Chicago that feel they are the only people that use the sidewalk. As it turns out though, that isn’t the case. I don’t even get the concept of this because clearly you are trying to stay as far away from each other as possible while still touching. Color me confused. Why don’t you just get a new girlfriend that you actually like? This is also the hold most likely to involve a swinging arm, and I have almost taken a fist to the face on several occasions.

The Double Around the Back

This is so ridiculous that I couldn’t even find a picture of it. I spotted a couple on a stroll through the park engaged is this super grip last week, which is what prompted this entire article. I knew at the time I blew it by not taking a picture, but thankfully my MS Paint skills are impeccable. Unless you are swing dancing, there is no circumstance in which you need to be holding both of your lady’s hands while standing side-by-side. You look like a jack wagon, and I’m embarrassed that you are a part of my species. Please do me a favor and never set foot in public again.

The Wild Card

Two Halves Make a Whole

OK, so I don’t think people actually do this, but I came across the picture when I was searching for images to include. It also gave me a good excuse to crudely photoshop myself into one of these pictures. If you have ever considered walking like this, please do. The reactions you get on the street would be more entertaining than anything summer TV has to offer, so why not? I may try to enact this as my go-to technique from now on. I’ll either get laid immediately or never again; there is no middle ground.

And there you have it, the Every Guy’s Guide to holding hands. This isn’t rocket science; just a little common sense will prevent you from looking like loser and keep you out of my way. Next week will be back to my core competency, booze, but this was an issue that needed to be addressed. If there’s something you think could use the Every Guy’s treatment, let me know

 

Bonus: When I click on those “Do you remember these from when you were a kid” posts-

 

Written by Andrea Bartz & Brenna Ehrlich

Imagine a tiny boat afloat on a thrashing sea, water pouring through a gaping hole in the hull.

A sailor is frantically bailing dark, angry water, but no matter how much he scoops, the water line never seems to recede — more waves just pummel him in the face like a particularly insecure middle-school bully.

That, my friends, is our metaphor for the average worker’s e-mail inbox.

Yeah, we know, there are tons of new communication technologies out there, but e-mail still reigns supreme in the worker realm: A recent study even shows that e-mail eats up the most mobile time among Americans.

Which is why we think it’s high time to outline some of the most annoying practices when it comes to business e-mails — practices that might make your compatriots drown themselves in frustration.

See the e-mail above? Don’t ever send anything like this

Read on to avoid making these 10 mistakes:

1) “YELLING”

Ever get an e-mail like this?

Subject line: MY CLIENT URGENTLY NEEDS TO SPEAK WITH YOU!

Hot tip: When you type in all caps, you’re basically likening yourself to those crazy dudes who yell about the End Times on the subway (who are perhaps a bit subdued at present). Yeah, no one wants to talk to you.

2) Going all kindergarten with your fonts

Remember when LeBron James spurned the Cleveland Cavaliers and joined forces with the Miami Heat, prompting Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert to pen a long letter on the team website tearing into James?

Remember what font Gilbert used? That’s right, Comic Sans — aka “The Great Underminer.” Stick to Helvetica, folks, and people will remember your sentiment instead of your poor choice of typeface. (To say nothing of pink fonts and Word Art-like signatures splashed across floral graphics.)

3) Misnomers

Unless you are supremely stupid, senile or illiterate, there is no real excuse for getting a business contact’s name wrong, because it’s right there in his/her e-mail address. Consider this cautionary tale.

If you’re prone to typos, well, then, that’s what copy-paste is for.

4) Emoticons

As we have stated in the past — back when we called for a brief break from the smiley — emoticons have reached “STD-like proportions since their inception, spreading from one person to another like particularly expressive herpes.”

OK, we can see the necessity of using a placating “smiley” in an e-mail to a contact who might need a spoonful of sugar to make the “your idea sucks” medicine go down. But nix emoticons from any initial e-mails with new contacts.

5) Overly informal greetings

“Helloz Sar-Sar! Imma tell you about a super rad product that, let’s face it, all of us gurlz should totally peep if you have a burnin’ hot love life but want to avoid burnin’ hot other things (you know what I’m talkin’ about!).”

No one has a strong enough stomach to deal with epistles of this sort on a daily basis. Save the LOLCat speech for when you’re old and gray and shooting off adorable, kitten-packed e-mails to your grumbling grandkids. They can’t fire you for being obnoxious.

6) Rambling

Allow me to narrate the internal dialogue of the average desk-bound minion: “Spreadsheets sure have a lot of lines… I’m hungry… I hope no one notices this hickey that Joe from accounting gave me after Happy Hour last night…. I’m hungry… Look! There’s a blue bird outside and it cocked its head at me!”

Get to the point. You have approximately three sentences to cut through said desk worker’s mental clutter before she — Oh, someone sent me a video of a dog hugging a turtle!

7) Unclear subject lines

Do you have important news? Then, by all means, say so in your subject line. Hiding a vital correspondence behind a “Subject Line: Hey” is not doing anyone any favors — except for your competition.

8) Sending too many e-mails in a row

You probably spend, oh, 20 hours per day glued to some form of computer-esque device (soon the machines will destroy us all), which means that when you don’t receive an immediate response to your e-mail, it’s possible to, well overreact — much like a clingy lover waiting for an answer on that “Dinner tonight, then a different kind of spooning?” text.

Don’t be a desperate loser. Wait at least 24 hours before sending a follow-up e-mail, unless it’s an emergency, in which case there’s this handy thing called the phone or, you know, the five-second walk over to your co-worker’s desk. Yeah, we know, real life communications are hard.

9) Clip art

I imagine most of you are intelligent enough to figure out why this is not OK.

10) Not using the right method of contact

Never message a business contact on Facebook. Seriously. Why? Because Facebook is where you go to look at pictures of people from high school when you’re drunk — there’s even a plug-in to prevent you from ruining your social media life whilst whiskey-soaked.

Sending a business-oriented message via Facebook is like wandering into a debauched party and expecting everyone to listen to you when you start talking about sales figures.

If you’re having issues finding someone’s professional contact info, sure, send him/her a message on Facebook or Twitter asking them for that info, but don’t carry on a whole convo right then and there.

Unless you’re looking for dirt on said contact, in which case be sure to send the ol’ message at around 4 a.m., when his defenses are down.

Bonus: Flee ohio

Collected by topcultured

We’ve all heard the standard questions such as “where will you be in 5 years” and “how well do you work under pressure” but have you ever been asked, “Why are manhole covers round?”

If you haven’t, you probably haven’t applied for a job at Google.

This graphic by our friends at Mindflash shows 8 of the most absurd questions asked by some corporations. How you answer them could mean the difference between the job of your dreams and just another job.

Click to enlarge.

Bonus:Angry outlet terrifies his neighbors

Written by businesspundit

The 2011 graduates have just walked the stage and are preparing themselves for the great adventure to follow. Mixed emotions are flooding through them; “Am I ready? Will I find a job related to my degree?”

There are many paths a graduate can follow once they’re thrown out into the real world to look for and pursue the career path they want, but it’s no secret that the path is never straight and narrow.

How many changed their majors? What percentage of graduates actually move out? What percentage moves back in with their parents?

What’s the typical amount of jobs one has to apply for before finding one that they get their foot in the door with?
The following infographic compiles data from a 2011 graduate survey to show you what you can expect.

Source:Adecco USA

Collected by buzzfeed

• 1.

  

  (Graphic made by World Shaker and found via Flavorpill)

• 2. Clarissa is this old

  

• 3. This is what the Pepsi girl looks like today. She’s 19.

  

• 4. The final episode of Teletubbies aired ten years ago.

  

• 5. The top 5 songs 15 years ago

  

  

• 6.

  

• 7. This year’s 18-year-olds were born in 1993

  

• 8. Macaulay Culkin is 30

  

• 9. Kimmy Gibbler today

  

• 10. Surge hasn’t been sold in over 10 years

  

• 11. 12 years ago

  

• 12. Elijah Wood is 30. He was 18 when he was cast in The Lord of the Rings.

  

• 13. The Spice Girls’ ages

  

• 14. The Backstreet Boys’ ages

  

• 15. TV Guide from 20 years ago

  

• 16. TV Guide from 15 years ago

  

• 17. TV Guide from 10 years ago

  

• 18. JFK would be 92-years-old this year

  

• 19. Marilyn Monroe would be 86

  

• 20. The Rugrats’ ages today

  

• 21. If the Simpsons actually aged, Bart would be 31 by now.

  

• 22. Kurt Cobain has been dead for 17 years

  

• 23. Aaliyah has been dead for 10 years

  

• 24. The first state quarter came out 11 years ago

  

• 25. Hasn’t been on American TV in 9 years

  

• 26. Have been divorced for 6 years

  

• 27. The cast of Boy Meets World’s ages

  

• 28. Family Guy has been on TV for 12 years

  

• 29.

  

• 30. All 3 Hanson brothers are married with kids

  

• 31. Goosebumps books were released between 1992 and 1997. There hasn’t been a new one in 14 years.

  

• 32. Daniel Radcliffe 10 years ago

  

• 33. Napster was launched 11 years ago

  

• 34. Kids these days will have no idea what “rewinding” is

  

• 35. A new episode hasn’t aired in 13 years

  

• 36. The Macarena is 16 years old

  

• 37. Jonathan Lipnicki

  

• 38. The first commercial with the Taco Bell chihuahua aired 14 years ago. The chihuahua has been dead for 2 years.

  

• 39. The little girl from Jurrasic Park is 31

  

• 40. 1990