Monthly Archives: December 2008

Top 10 Most Underratted/Overlooked Games

Written by screwattack

I’m Bart N. Lucas from Team Discovery Channel and I hate stupid blogs taking up valuable blog space. Here’s the thing: I’ve been seeing a lot of Top [Insert Number Here] lists lately and I wanted in on the action. Not just to be one with the crowd, but to set a standard. I know that sounds pretty arrogant, but some of the lists that I’ve been seeing here are just terrible. I’m not saying that the lists themselves are bad; that would be extremely arrogant. Lists are very subjective and a good list should differ from anyone else’s. What I am saying is that these terrible lists are usually riddled with awful grammar, abstractions (Whoa! This game is so awesome! Play it!), and they tend to have very little description. I know that this isn’t school, but some of these are just too damn hard to read. I’m just asking for a little effort is all. Obviously, I’m speaking to the native English speakers here. I don’t want to discourage anyone trying to type English as their second language. I find it impressive that you’re even trying.
Anyways, to get back on subject and wrap up this unnecessarily long introduction, if I could leave you with just one characteristic that could turn a Good list into a Great list, it would be this: I believe that in order to have a Great list, the list should provoke a little thought and/or controversy. So, without further adieu, here’s my first attempt at a Top Ten list.

Top Ten Most Underrated/Overlooked Games:

Most of the games on this list aren’t going to be obscure. I mostly choose the following games because they don’t get the attention that they deserve. Most of the following tend to NOT be on Top Ten Lists, despite the fact that, in the case of sequels, I find them to be better than their predecessors. The only rule I have is there can be only one game per franchise. Standard stuff, I know, but I thought I should get that out there.


10.) Professor Layton and the Curious Village (DS)

This is a fairly new game that I think hasn’t got the attention that it deserves. Professor Layton and the Curious Village is a must-have for any DS owner, especially if you’re tired of all those brain-training games that seem to be popping up every month. This production of this game was done very well. The music in good and accentuates the game’s tone and setting, the animation is surprisingly great for a DS game, the dialogue is well-written and the characters are nicely developed (by video game standards), and the plot is interesting. The game is supposed to be a mystery/puzzler, and I think it does that well. The puzzles within the game are brain-teasers made by Prof. Akira Tago, so they’re not just tedious spurts of numbers and letters. Some of the puzzles at the end of the game can be very challenging. One could easily look up the answers online, but that would make the game kind of pointless. Nothing beats the feeling of satisfaction that comes with discovering the answers yourself. This is just one of those games where the experience is so fresh that you ignore the stupid little things. Like, “Why is everyone asking me to solve these little puzzles?” (though, that’s explained in the end) and “Why does Layton even have an apprentice?” Despite these little foibles, the gaming experience you get from Professor Layton will have a lasting impression on you. Let’s hope that the sequels make it over here soon.


9.) Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest (SNES)

This is one of my all-time favorite games. But the main reason I put it on the list is because most people usually put the first DKC on their Top Tens. This always bothered me. Whenever I see the first one on a list instead of the second, I get suspicious because I think the lister is a poser. He or she is probably like, “Nothing’s better than the original,” and this kind of mentality gets passed on to their readers and compounds as more and more lists are created. Well, STOP IT! There is nothing DKC has that it’s sequel doesn’t make better! The gameplay is more refined, the secrets are more abundant, lucrative, and meaningful, and Dixie Kong is actually better than Donkey Kong. Her helicopter move is way more useful than Donkey Kong’s ground pound thing. But, no matter which of the two you liked better, Diddy was the best.
Character disputes aside, it’s DKC2’s music that makes this game a one-of-a-kind and gives it one up on its predecessor. I actually still find its soundtrack to be one of the best in the BGM Industry. Case and point: the music on the Bramble Scramble level. Some call the track Sticker-Brush Symphony, some call it Bramble Blast, the game itself just calls it Brambles, but I call it pure deliciousness. This should have easily made Screwattack’s Top Ten Themes, but a list is a list. However, Gang Plank Galleon made it on there, and DKC2 has that as well on the “Rattle Battle” stage, but with a different arrangement, which I prefer to the original.
I can understand how people could say that DKC gets extra points for having that initial “WOW!” factor, but that’s not timeless. DKC2 to this day is an amazingly fun and addicting game. DKC is too, but DKC2 has the edge with all the aforementioned aspects, plus the difficulty was heightened due to Miyamoto himself criticizing the first game’s emphasis on art over substance. It seems to me that DKC2 has found a nice balance of the two.


8.) Super Punch-Out!! (SNES)

I actually prefer this to its NES predecessor. It looked better (even though I believe in gameplay over graphics), it was faster, and it was just more fun. Don’t get me wrong. I probably like the original Punch-Out!! more than you. It’s just SPO had so much more. Mainly, it had time trials. I remember back in the day when my friend would bring the cartridge to school so that I could take it home and try to beat his best times. Then, the next day, I’d give it back for him to reclaim his top spots. This went on for awhile. Also, I liked the characters in SPO better than the ones on PO. I know, PO had King Hippo, Great Tiger, and Soda Popinski, but SPO’s character’s were just as memorable as they were racist. Plus, the majority of them were bastards! It seemed like everyone of them cheated in that game! Dragon Chan kicked you, Masked Muscle spit shit in your eyes and head butted you, Aran Ryan grabbed you, Heike Kagero hit you with his hair, Mad Clown threw balls (hee hee), and Hoy Quarlow… well, there’s just nothing legit about that old shit! I also liked the special meter at the bottom. I found it more helpful and useful than the star system from the first.
Admittedly, the music was better in the first PO. There’s no arguing that. PO was also harder than its sequel. But what I think really gave SPO the edge was how all the boxer’s had attack patterns that, when properly exploited, could be countered, resulting in stupidly fast TKOs. Piston Hurricane sucks so bad that he can actually be taken down in less than 6 seconds. Now that’s playing with power!


7.) Chew Man Fu (Turbo Grafx-16)

This may be the only obscure game on my list. I don’t really think that it’s one of the best games in the world, or even near such a list, but it’s just really fun. Basically, you’re a girl monk who has to reclaim 5 sacred towers that have been captured by the evil wizard, Chew Man Fu. I’m not going to lie to you, this game is ridiculous. The localization is hideous (but in a good way) and the characters are stereotypical and, at times, just down-right racist. But, all is forgiven when you actually play the game. It’s a unique puzzler involving balls (hee hee). The goal of the game is to roll and kick the different colored balls and place them on their squares of the same color. Of course, there are enemies to kill you and get in your way, along with walls to block you. To add a little strategy to the game, the balls have different abilities that can help you in certain situations: Red kills things in one hit, Black destroys walls in two hits, Blue bounces around longer than the other colors, and Green is just average. These attributes coupled with how the enemies can mess with your balls (hee hee) can lead to some very challenging levels.
All in all, I think the game’s originality and unique gameplay elements really make this a title that shines. It’s also very long. There’s like 50 levels in the game, and when you beat it, they give you 50 more. I made it to my third set of 50. I have no idea how long this game actually is. There’s also a two-player mode where you play soccer or something with a friend, but it sucks. Despite the co-op sucking balls (hee hee), the single player mode is enough to get you some bang for your buck.


6.) Lords of Thunder (TurboGrafx Duo/Sega CD)

This is one helluva shmup! It’s fast-paced, the visuals are great, and it can be hard as shit. One thing I think that gets this game overlooked is its difficulty. While average shmup players find it to be pretty hard, more experienced shmup veterans find it to be too easy, at least on its default difficulty. That’s why these shmup connoisseurs prefer this game’s spiritual predecessor, Gates of Thunder. Lords is considered to be too easy by vets for various reasons: you can get hit several times before you die, you can grab health during the levels, and there’s an item shop where you can pump yourself up before levels. However, it’s this shop system that makes me like Lords more than Gates. It adds a little more depth to the game. Plus, I just really like to kill things and collect the gems they drop. For some reason, this just adds to the fun of the game.
I also like the Fantasy setting of the game as well. Basically, instead of flying around in a ship, you’re a God-Knight that flies around shooting shit and slicing shit with your sword. What a badass! With the over-saturation of Sci-fi shmups in the market at the time, this was refreshing. Not to say that this hadn’t been done before. Legendary Wings did it years earlier. There’s also a game on the Genesis, but I can’t remember what it’s called.
Let’s talk about one of the greatest things this game has to offer, shall we? It has an amazing soundtrack! All the tracks are Heavy Metal influenced. The guitars sound sweet, the drums sound great, and the riffs are meaty as hell! It helps that this was a CD game because the sound quality is just superb, especially for the time. It may not be the best Metal that you’ve ever heard, but it’s still very good and compliments the games ludicrous speed! (That’s a Spaceballs reference.)


5.) Secret of Evermore (SNES)

This game got a bad rep when it was first released because people thought Squaresoft made this game instead of localizing Secret of Mana 2 (or Seiken Densetsu 3 for you Japanophiles). I don’t really know the full story, but I’ve heard this wasn’t the case. Secret of Evermore was created just for the Western market as a spiritual successor to Secret of Mana. It had a lot of the same things that Mana had. The ring system was there, the combat system was there (real-time with the stamina bar and charging your weapon), and the variety of weapons were there for you to level up, too. What the game didn’t have was three player co-op. Hell, it didn’t even have two-player co-op, even though the opportunity was there. It would have been sweet if a friend could have controlled the dog. Despite this lapse of judgment, the game was still great because it was different, yet familiar. I actually like Evermore better than Mana. I know that a lot of people would disagree, but Evermore just had, pardon the pun, more. At least, it had more when it came to plot, dialogue, and character development.
The plot wasn’t particularly anything new, but it was fresh and interesting when you consider who made it. As opposed to the obligatory fantasy setting that most Squaresoft games had at the time, Evermore took place in modern times. However, the bulk of the game takes place in a computer-generated fantasy world. But the word “fantasy” in this sense represents more around the lines of “wish-fulfillment,” rather than elves and dragons and such. The worlds created in the computer are reflections of the people to whom the computer has trapped within its program. And this game was made four years before the Matrix! Another thing that really sets this game apart from Mana is the humor. Mana had its moments, like the whole wild-goose chase for Joch, but Evermore was teeming with hilarity. From Fire Eyes making fun of your dog’s name to the main character’s constant fictitious B-movie references, this game could really make you smile. I find this to be ironic because the game takes on a darker tone than Mana in atmosphere, both environmentally and musically, and in story. All in all, this game comes across as being a bit more mature than Mana. That’s not to say that Evermore is better than Mana because of this fact. It’s just food for thought.


4.) Gain Ground (Sega Genesis)

This game might be obscure to most gamers, but this one is actually considered a cult classic. I really don’t know what qualities a game should have in order to be called a cult classic, but that’s just what I’ve heard. I’d assume the game should have at least one of the following factors: 1.) a campy and/or nostalgic feeling to it, or 2.) be really good but misunderstood due to avant-garde gameplay that couldn’t be accepted by the mainstream. I believe Gain Ground suffers from the latter. However, the game’s plot involves a utopian world that has long forgotten how to fight due to the long years of peace. So, in order to train in the art of war on the off chance that aliens were to invade, the peoples of Earth created a large computer that used virtual reality to train warriors. But alas, the computer malfunctions and traps everyone within (sound like a game I just mentioned?), and it’s the 3 heroes’ job to rescue their kidnapped brethren and destroy the evil computer. The plot is derivative and the McGuffin is pretty lame, so I guess that could give it that campy feeling. Everyone knows that no matter how stupid something is, as long as it has some redeeming quality, it can be overlooked, just like I did for Professor Layton. But what’s this game’s redeeming quality? The graphics were just barely on par and the sound was bad, even for Genesis standards. Gain Ground’s saving grace lied in its strategy and wide array of characters.
There were a total of twenty playable characters, each with their own unique abilities (although some were copies of other characters) and collecting them was part of the fun. The best characters where the archers and the missile guy that shot across the screen. The only problem I had with the game was that it was definitely a Trial and Error game. You have no idea what each character does until you play as them. This wouldn’t be so bad if the game didn’t revolve around having the right character at the right time. If each character is utilized properly, you can fly through this game easily. If not, you’re screwed, mainly because of the boss of the game. He’s a particular bastard because there’s absolutely no way of killing him without losing at least 4-5 characters. I suggest you get a friend that doesn’t suck to help you with this guy. That’s right, folks! The game’s also co-op. Twenty characters + 50 levels + strategy with a friend = BAD ASS. This game is a definite play for anyone with eclectic or strategic tastes. Personally, I think that Gain Ground was one of the best offerings on the Genesis.


3.) WCW/nWo: Revenge (N64)

The engine that THQ used wrestling in this game was excellent. It made for some good wrasslin’! Unfortunately, it ultimately went the way of Def Jam: Fight for New York. How unfortunate, indeed. Anyways, back to Revenge, this has seriously got to be one of my favorite wrestling games of all time, and it’s one of my favorite N64 games, too. Aside from the excellent weak/strong strike and grapple system, this game really had a lot of the things that other wrestling games had, but Revenge had the testicular fortitude to make them better: more weapons, more moves, a kick ass intro involving a semi-truck, run-ins during a match, low blows that “dinged,” and all kinds of finishers. You could use your Special to their face, their back, on the ground, on the turnbuckle, or you could take your opponent’s move and own them with a slice of humiliation. The chose was yours! But even with all that awesomeness, it was the characters that made this game great.
The game’s roster is the reason I regard it better than its WWE, then WWF, sequels, Wrestlemania 2000 and No Mercy. Now, I’ve always been a bigger WWF fan. I used to watch an hour of Nitro before RAW came on. But you couldn’t deny the greatness that was Hollywood Hogan, Goldberg, Lodi, Jim Norton, Ric Flair and his sweet Special, Eddie Guerrero’s amazing “Cheat To Win T-shirts,” and Meng’s dumb-looking pose after he did the Tonga Death Grip . Plus, the game had a bunch of made-up characters in made-up factions. Seriously, if you’ve ever played this game, you know what I’m talking about. I’m talking about Dake Ken with his sledgehammer, Dr. Frank, Hawk Hanna, Brickowski, Maya Inca Boy (or M.I.B. to his friends), and so much more. However, none of what I’ve said so far even compares to what really made this game stick in the minds of gamers so many years later. You know that I’m talking about the taunts. Every single taunt in this game, whether real or fictitious, was pure gold. From AKI/THQ Man’s cheerleader inspired body-letter taunts to La Parka’s sweet dance with the chair, everything that the wrestlers did in this game oozed substance and amusement.


2.) Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together (Playstation)

Ridiculously stupid name. Amazingly awesome game. Tactics Ogre was overlooked for one reason: Final Fantasy Tactics. I don’t remember exactly when each game came out, but I know that they both came out at around the same time, which was late ’97 or early ’98. FFT’s convoluted plot, superior graphics, and “Final Fantasy” name helped it in overshadowing the epic Tactics Ogre. But just because FFT had all that going for it doesn’t mean that it was the superior game. On the contrary, I find TO to be way better. I was fortunate enough as a kid to have both games, but it was TO that I played the hell out of, even though I played the crap out of both games. FFT was great, but it was way too easy when compared to TO, mainly because of that cheap bastard Orlandu. After beating the game for the 50th time, I would remove the Excalibur and kick him off the team just to make things even.
To me, one of the things that made TO better than FFT was the battle party capacity. TO let you have 10 characters to fight in battle with while FFT only let you have half that amount. This led to more interesting, longer, and more challenging fights in TO. Also, and this kind of sucked, there was no reviving in TO (although later on you could make a priest character that could cast a spell to bring back fallen allies, but that was in the later half of the game). This was good if you wanted a challenge, but it could be controller-throwingly frustrating. TO also had different paths that you could take throughout the game. This made its already high replay value shoot through the roof. If I had to suggest one of the two to someone, I’d suggest OT if you were a hardcore strategy gamer. FFT is amazing, but TO is more than twice the fun.


1.) Zombies Ate My Neighbors (SNES/Sega Genesis)

This one’s not too obscure because, like Gain Ground, it too is considered to be a cult classic, but I know a lot of people who haven’t even heard of it. Regardless, this made the list because it doesn’t get the credit it deserves. Seriously, I think this game is the total package. It’s difficult, it’s co-op, it’s got like 50 levels, there’s a bunch of secrets, the soundtrack is quirky and, at times, foreboding, there’s a lot of weapons and power-ups, there’s a wide assortment of enemies, and the overall tone and theme of the game is interesting, fun, and funny. I really don’t know many games that are tongue-in-cheek, at least not to the degree that ZAMN is. Perhaps that’s why the game’s antagonist’s name is Dr. Tongue. Maybe, but the reigning theory states that the name comes from the nickname given to the first zombie you see in the movie, “Day of the Dead.”
When I say tone and theme, I’m mostly talking about how the game is presented. The humor in this game is just rampant. One of my favorite things has to be the titles of the levels. They sound like names of B-movies you might have watched with Elvira late at night when you were a kid and not too busy looking at her big, voluptuous, round, sculpted, perky, heaving… Where was I? Oh, level names. For example, there are greats like “Mars Needs Cheerleaders!” and “More Terrifying Than Level 5… Level 6: Pyramid of Fear!” The seemingly endless horror movie references really make this game great as well. They’re all there: zombies, ants, evil dolls, werewolves, Martians, vampires, Frankenstein’s monster, blobs, weeds, body snatchers, Giant Babies, etc.
The random bonuses were always cool, too. You could get the “Fish Fry” bonus if you killed a bunch of Creatures from the Black Lagoon or a “No Bazooka” bonus in the hedge maze levels with the Leatherface/Jason guys. There was also a “Saved More Victims” bonus just so the game could turn you against your best friend. What devious bastards!
Honestly, if you haven’t played this game, you don’t know what you’re missing. I think the game has aged well, though I found it much more fun when I was a kid. But, in all fairness, I had friends that played video games with me as a kid, so I’m sure that helped. That’s not to say that a single player experience isn’t fun. I could only beat the game by myself. You pretty much need all the items you find throughout the levels in order to beat the game, which totally renders the password system useless. If you use a password to get you to level 40 you’ll only have what you’d have started with if you had started from Level 1. I’ll tell you, there are only a few things in this life that I’ve done that have given me a sense of fulfillment. Beating Zombie Ate My Neighbors was one of those things. Everyone should experience this greatness.

There you have it. I really hope you enjoyed my list. I plan on doing some more with Team Discovery Channel soon. If you liked it, please comment. Even if you hated it, you should comment. Especially if you think that my arrogance has over-inflated and ultimately collapsed upon itself, please, let me know.

– Bart N. Lucas

After The Crisis: A Parody of 15 Corporate Logos

Collected by Ryan

The 2008 crash is probably the most serious economic crisis we have faced after the Great Depression. Stock markets from around the world fell as much as 20% in a single week, dozens of banks either failed or were rescued by government and private instutitions, and companies started laying off employees as a consequence of the reduced demand.

We know how we entered into the crisis, but we don’t how, when, or how we will be getting out of it. Considering that issue, we decided to our little bit to help cheer everyone up by redoing the logos of some renowned companies …. after the crisis.






Best Buy



Dow Jones


Good Year





Bonus Logo

While Apple is probably one of the more stable companies in our economy, with a robust and diverse set of high-demand products… we just couldn’t resist this one.


Logo Credits:

* The revised Ford logo comes courtesy of Ironic Sans
* The nokia, 3m, badyear, ferrari, xerox, downjones logos come courtesy of Carlos Bornelli Jr

10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All Time

Written by amog

When you think about places to post advertisements, rants, and just general ridiculousness, Craigslist should be at the top of the list. Each and every day, hundreds of thousands of people flock to Craigslist to buy things, look for love or sex, and look for jobs. With so many people coming together in one place, you can bet that hilarity will ensue.

Thankfully, the Craigslist Gods foresaw such a possibility, and the Best of Craigslist was born. Essentially, the Best of Craigslist consists of numerous posts about many different things, having been nominated for a prize.

When perusing the oodles of entries, you can tell that some not-so-funny ones were selected by people who just decided to be idiots and nominate worthless posts. Such people clearly have lives that they are ashamed of, and if they aren’t, well, they should be!

However, there are some true pearls of mediocrity on Best of Craigslist. These posts have made their way to the surface of the oozing amounts of crap exuded by numerous other posts.

That is why, the following posts (in no particular order, mind you) should be thought of as “The Top 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All Time”:

1. Let us frolic in my totally dope blanket fort

blanket-1 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeObviously, the post title gets one’s attention, and is the epitome of ridiculous. Then, of course, it only gets better when you check out the pictures of this guy’s “totally dope” blanket fort. Clearly, this guy went to all the trouble of building a fabulously crappy blanket fort in the feeble attempt to prove that he could do so.

At least he admits that it’s crappy, calling it just a “prototype.” Um, hello? If you want to impress the ladies, oh Blanket Fort Man, you should have built an impressive blanket fort in the first place.

Don’t you know that women only want guys who can build AMAZING blanket forts?!

Nevertheless, let’s hope that, if this guy didn’t find love, he at least found better blankets.

2.Haunted toaster

toaster-2 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeIt’s hard enough selling things on Craigslist, so people have resorted to selling things with a bit of extra provenance. Take this woman, who claims that the haunted toaster hates her and burns her toast. If that is the case, well then, they’re a lot of haunted toasters.

Or maybe, just MAYBE, there are a lot of ridiculously stupid people out there who can’t figure out how to use a toaster! If nothing else, though, it would have been very amusing to watch her drop the toaster off the roof, which is probably what ended up happening.

3. My Casual Encounters Experience

lips-3 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeOh yes, the seedy side of Craigslist is exposed here. It’s funny to read the disclaimer when entering these more sinister parts of Craigslist, in which they advise people to practice safe sex. Yeah, like that happens.

The people who are desperate enough to post an advertisement looking for NSA (No Strings Attached for all you virgins out there) aren’t thinking about that, They want to get it on, and get it on quickly.

Clearly, this ridiculous post shows the rantings of a very sexually frustrated and overall bitter woman.

She wasted her time ranting on good ‘ol Craigslist, when she could have, say, gone out into the real world and possibly met a well-endowed, normal guy. On the other hand, with all of the trouble she went to, she might as well have just purchased a vibrator.

4. Space Ship for Sale $3500.00 or best offer

spaceship-4 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeUpon first reading the title to this classically ridiculous post, you might think that it was some sort of a joke, that a person was drunk and just put up an advertisement for kicks. Not this time, and there is ridiculously amazing photographic evidence to prove it. Yes, this person really did build a spaceship.

Or, one could call it a cosmically themed sculpture of some sort, since (well, hopefully) it doesn’t actually run, landing sensors or not. If it DID happen to be in working order, I think you’d agree that $3500.00 is quite a reasonable price.

5. Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost)

ghostjar-5 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeWhy is it that people are resorting to selling haunted things on Craigslist? Really now, enough is enough.

However, if you’re ridiculously stupid like this poster, you too can buy a foggy glass (or is it plastic?) jar and pretend that the ghost of George Harrison is inside!

6. Trying to have a missed connection – m4w

missed-61 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeOne of the most interesting sections of Craigslist is the “Missed Connections” section. There, people who gazed lustily at a total stranger from afar can post to see if that same stranger noticed them too. How romantic.

Let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to have a missed connection? So, be ridiculous like this guy, and post an advertisement in which you actually want to coordinate a missed connection. Um, part of the fun of a missed connection is that it’s completely, totally missed! Maybe this guy was confused, and was just awkwardly asking for a date.

Well, for his sake, and any of those who actually were silly enough to respond to his advertisement, let’s hope so.

7. No taxation without representation

angryman-7 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeThis post is not just ridiculous in the amount of time and angered effort (note the aggressive use of the Caps Lock key!) that was put into creating it, it’s also ridiculously true. Clearly, it took tax season for these truths to become self-evident to this angry person.

One can just imagine Mr. or Mrs. Angry Person standing on a soapbox, screaming about taxation atrocities. Only, these screams will probably be falling on deaf ears; everyone else will be too busy doing something that this person clearly doesn’t do enough of: WORKING.

8. Rant: Person with a wooden leg that lives above me

stilts-8 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeEveryone at some point has had an annoying neighbor. However, this person actually was ridiculous enough to write a letter to a neighbor who quite possibly has a wooden leg. Or, as this person muses, might like wearing stilts. Um, hello?

First of all, the person is far too busy walking around and being noisy to read your rant. Second of all, ever heard of that marvelous little invention called high heels?

9. Things I’d like to tell students that would probably get me fired

angryteach-9 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeProbably the most ridiculous thing about this post is that this neurotic person tells off his or her imaginary students in really not-so-blunt ways, mixed in with jokes that are horribly bad. C’mon now, stop being such a coward! Be like Morgan Freeman in the movie Lean On Me.

Okay, so he was a principal, not a professor, but the man got his point across with a bat! The key thing here is he commanded respect without ever having to use it. In the case of this ridiculous professor, this whiny rant gets an F.

10. Autographed Copy of Plato’s Republic

plato-10 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeFinally, someone’s selling something that isn’t haunted! How refreshing. Obviously, the ridiculousness of this post is self-explanatory. Alas, there’s no price mentioned in this advertisement.

Surely such a gem would be priceless, at least to someone who actually cares about philosophy. This begs the question: what does it mean to truly care? Does philosophy truly have one definition? Oh, shut up.

There you have it, the 10 most ridiculous posts on Craigslist. Of course, there are hundreds of other posts to read on there and laugh at.

So, the next time you’re on a boring lunch break, why not check them out? Or, better yet, post one yourself. Just make sure it’s ridiculous.

How to Know When It Is Time to Leave the Bar

Written by rtcrooks

This flowchart might come in handy this weekend for some people 🙂

The art of social interaction is a very delicate one, and everyone should know when to stay and when to call it a night. Whether at a house party or at your favorite bar, a timely departure is a beautiful thing. Conversely, staying a bit too long can often end in disaster. We have put together a handy flowchart to help you master the execution of a proper exit.

101 Movie One-Liners Every Movie Junkie Should Know

Collected by amog

We all know some of the famous on-liners from the movies, but some of them are so commonplace that you may not even know that it’s a quote from a movie or from which movie it originated. But there are some quotes from movies that everyone should know. Some of them have really stood the test of time and are very old. Ironically, these are sometimes the ones that we know the best.

Here’s a list of one-liners that everyone should know and also which movie it came from and who in the movie said it. I’ve started with the earlier movies and have continued to go in chronological order.

history_1933_boris 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know1.Frankenstein , (1931) “It’s Alive! It’s Alive!”, Dr. Henry Frankenstein (Colin Clive)

2. Every Day’s a Holiday, (1937), “You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini.”, Larmadou Graves (Charles Butter worth)

3. Gone With the Wind , (1939), “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”, Rhett Butler (Clark Gable)

4. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes , (1939), “Elementary, my dear Watson”, Sherlock Holmes (Basil Rathbone)

5.The Wizard of Oz , (1939), “Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore”, Dorothy (Judy Garland)

6. The Wizard of Oz , (1939), “There’s no place like home”, Dorothy (Judy Garland)

casablanca02-785581 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know

7. The Wizard of Oz , (1939), “I’ll get you, my pretty. And your little dog too”, Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton)

8. Casablanca , (1942), “Here’s looking at you, kid”, Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)

9. Casablanca , (1942), “Play it again, Sam”, Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)

10.Casablanca , (1942), “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship”, Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)

11. Casablanca , (1942), “We’ll always have Paris”, Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)

12. Casablanca , (1942), “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine”, Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart)

13. Yankee Doddle Dandy , (1942), “My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you”, George Cohan (James Cagney)

14. All About Eve, (1950), “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy ride”, Margo Channing (Bette Davis)

15. A Streetcar Named Desire , (1951), “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”, Blanche DuBois (Vivien Leigh)

16. Psycho , (1960), “We all go a little mad sometimes”, Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins)coolhandluke 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know

17. Dr. No , (1962), “Bond. James Bond.” James Bond (Sean Connery)

18. Goldfinger , (1964), “Shaken – Not stirred”, James Bond (Sean Connery)

19. Cool Hand Luke , (1967), “What we have here is a failure to communicate”, Captain (Strother Martin)

20. In the Heat of the Night , (1967), “They call me Mr. Tibbs”, Virgil Tibbs (Sidney Portier)

21. Dirty Harry , (1971), “Do ya feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk”, Inspector “Dirty” Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood)

22. The Godfather , (1972), “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse”, Michael Corleone (Al Pacino)

godfather 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know23. The Godfather , (1972), “Don’t ask me about my business, Kay”, Michael Corleone (Al Pacino)

24. The Godfather , (1972), “This isn’t personal, Kay. This is business”, Michael Corleone (Al Pacino)

25. The Godfather: Part 2, (1974), “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer”, Michael Corleone (Al Pacino)

26. Rocky , (1976), “Yo, Adrienne”, Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone)

27. Taxi Driver , (1976), “You talkin’ to me”, Travis Bickle (Robert DeNiro)

28. Star Wars , (1977), “Get this big walking carpet out of my way”, Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher)

29. Star Wars , (1977), “May the force be with you”, Hans Solo (Harrison Ford)godfather_l 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know

30. Apocalypse Now, (1979), “I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory”, Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall)

31. The Blues Brothers, (1980), “I took the liberty of bullshitting you”, Elwood Blues (Dan Ackroyd)

32. The Empire Strikes Back, (1980), “I’d rather kiss a wookie”, Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher)

33. The Empire Strikes Back, (1980), “Never tell me the odds”, Hans Solo (Harrison Ford)

34. The Shining , (1980), “He-e-e-e-re’s Johnny!”, Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson)

35. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial , (1982), “E.T. phone home”, E.T. (Pat Walsh)

36. Poltergeist , (1982), “They’re here!”, Carol Anne Freeling (Heather O’Rourke)

scarface_million 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know37. Scarface , (1983), “Say hello to my little friend”, Tony Montana (Al Pacino)

38. Sudden Impact , (1983), “Go ahead. Make my day”, Inspector “Dirty” Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood)

39. Ghostbusters, (1984), “Back off, man. I’m a scientist”, Peter Venkmen

40. Karate Kid , (1984), “Look eye! Always look eye”, Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita)

41. Karate Kid , (1984), “Wax on, wax off”, Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita)

terminator_l 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know

42. The Terminator, (1984), “I’ll be back”, The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

43.The Terminator, (1984), “Hasta la vista, baby”, The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger):

44. Clue, (1985), “Men should be like Kleenex- soft, strong and disposable”, Mrs. White (Madeline Kahn)

45. Real Genius, (1985), “I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, ‘I drank what'”, Chris Knight (Val Kilmer)

46. Crocodile Dundee , (1986), “You call that a knife? That’s not a knife. This is a knife”, Michael “Crocodile” Dundee (Paul Hogan)

47. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, (1986), “You can’t respect someone who kisses your ass. I just doesn’t work”, Ferris Bueller (Mathew Broderick)

48. Top Gun, (1986), “Take me to bed or lose me forever”, Carol Bradshaw (Meg Ryan)

49. Top Gun, (1986), “Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash”, Captain Tom “Stinger” Jordan (James Tolkan)

50. Top Gun, (1986), “I feel the need – the need for speed”, Lieutenant Pete “Maverick” Mitchell (Tom Cruise)

51. Top Gun, (1986), “That’s classified. If I tell you I’ll have to kill you”, Lieutenant Pete “Maverick” Mitchell (Tom Cruise)

52. Lethal Weapon, (1987), “This is a real badge, I’m a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun”, Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson)

53. Die Hard, (1988), “Yippe-ki-yi-yay, Motherfucker”, John McClane (Bruce Willis)

54. Batman , (1989), “Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”, The Joker (Jack Nicholson)ghost 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know

55. Dead Poets Society, (1989), “Sucking all the marrow out of life doesn’t mean choking on the bone”, Mr. Keating (Robin Williams)

56. Ghost, (1990), “Ditto”, Sam (Patrick Swayze)

57. Mr. Destiny, (1990), “Destiny’s a pretty big concept, when you think about it. Where you are in life, how you got there, what would have happened if one thing or another had been different”, Larry Burrows (James Belushi)

58. City Slickers, (1991), “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place”, Mitch Robbins (Billy Crystal)

59. The Addams Family, (1991), “Don’t torture yourself, Gomez. That’ my job”, Morticia (Angelica Hustion)

60. The Silence of the Lambs, (1991), “I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner”, Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins):

61. Terminator 2: Judgement Day, (1991), “I need a vacation”, The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

a-few-good-ads-funny-junk 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know62. A Few Good Men , (1992), “You can’t handle the truth”, Colonel Nathan Jessup (Jack Nicholson)

63. A League of Their Own , (1992), “There’s no crying in baseball”, Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks)

64. Batman Returns, (1992), “You’re just jealous ’cause I’m a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask”, The Penguin (Danny DeVito)

65. My Cousin Vinny, (1992), “Sure, sure I heard of grits. I’ve just never actually seen a grit before”, Vincent Gambini (Joe Pesci)

66. Wayne’s World , (1992), “Schwing”, Wayne Campbell (Mike Myers)

67. A Bronx Tale, (1993), “The saddest thing in life is wasted talent”, Lorenzo Anello (Robert DeNiro)

68. Mrs. Doubtfire, (1993), “Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day and look at it and say ‘this is not my life'”, Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams)

ace-ventura 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know 69. Ace Ventura Pet Detective, (1994), “Warning! Assholes are closer than they appear”, Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey)

70. Clerks, (1994), “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers”, Randal Graves (Jeff Anderson)

71. The Shawshank Redemption, (1994), “Either get busy living, or get busy dying”, Ellis “Red” Redding (Morgan Freeman)

72. True Lies, (1994), “Women. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t kill ’em”, Albert Gibson (Tom Arnold)

73. True Lies, (1994), “I married Rambo”, Helen Tasker (Jamie Lee Curtis)

74. Apollo 13, (1995), “Houston, we have a problem”, Jim Lovell (Tom Hanks)

75. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, (1995), “Are you kidding, baby? I put the ‘grrrr’ in swinger, baby! Yeah”, Austin Powers (Mike Myers)

76. Braveheart, (1995), “The almighty tells me he can get me out of this mess, but he’s pretty sure you’re fucked”, Stephen (David O’Hara)

77. Braveheart, (1995), “Every man dies. Not every man really lives”, William Wallace (Mel Gibson)

78. Get Shorty, (1995), “So let me get this straight. You broke in again to apologize for breaking in yesterday”, Karen Flores (Rene Russo)

79. Judge Dredd , (1995), “I am the law. Put down your weapons and prepare to be judged”, Sylvester Stallone

80. Jerry Maguire , (1996), “Show me the money”, Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise)

81. Con Air, (1997), “There’s only two men I trust. One of ’em’s me, the other one’s not you”, Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage)

82. Liar Liar, (1997), “I CAN’T LIE”, Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey)

83. Titanic , (1997), “I’m the king of the world”, Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio)

84. Titanic , (1997), “The best I’ve seen, ma’am. Hardly any rats”, Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio)

85. Titanic , (1997), “Music to drown by – Now I know I’m in first class”, Tommy Ryan (Jason Barry)

86. Deep Impact, (1998), “This isn’t a video game, son”, Captain Spurgeon “Fish” Tanner (Robert Duvall)

87. Rush Hour, (1998), “I’m ‘Blackinese'”, Detective James Carter (Ken Leung)rushhour 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know

88. Gladiator, (2000), “At my signal, unleash hell”, Maximus (Russell Crowe)

89. Shrek, (2001), “No one likes a kiss-ass”, Donkey (Eddie Murphy)

90. Sweet Home Alabama, (2002), “Honey, just ’cause I talk slow doesn’t mean I’m stupid”, Jake Perry (Josh Lucas)

91. Bruce Almighty, (2003), “B-E-A-utiful”, Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey)

92. Bruce Almighty,(2003), “You can’t leave me! I’m the Alpha, lady! I’M THE OMEGA, BABY”, Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey)

93. Daredevil, (2003), “You can do anything if you’re not afraid”, Jack Murdock (David Keith)

94.Pirates of the Caribbean, (2003), “Ye’djohnny%20depp%20pirates%20of%20the%20caribbean 101 Movie One-Liners Everyone Should Know best start believin’ in ghost stories, Miss Turner. Yer in one”, Captain Barbosa (Geoffry Rush)

95. Pirates of the Caribbean, (2003), “You seem somewhat familiar; have I threatened you before”, Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp)

96. 50 First Dates, (2004), “There’s nothing like a first kiss”, Lucy Whitmore (Drew Barrymore)

97. Forrest Gump , (2004), “My mama always said life was like a box a chocolates, never know what you’re gonna get”, Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

98. Forrest Gump , (2004), “Stupid is as stupid does”, Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

99. Forrest Gump , (2004), “My family knows ever’thing there is to know ’bout the shrimpin’ bidness”, Bubba Blue

100. Hitch, (2005), “Life is not the amount of breaths you take. It’s the moments that take your breath away”, Alex “Hitch” Hitchens (Will Smith)

101. Hitch, (2005), “Begin each day like it was on purpose”, Alex “Hitch” Hitchens (Will Smith)

Timeline of a Coffee Drinker

Created by Christoph Niemann

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

I like coffee so much that I have tea for breakfast: The first cup of the day in particular is so good that I’m afraid I won’t be able to properly appreciate it when I am half-asleep. Therefore, I celebrate it two hours later when I am fully conscious.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

I must have been 5 when I first discovered the taste of coffee, when I was accidentally given a scoop of coffee ice cream. I was inconsolable: how could grown-ups ruin something as wonderful as ice cream with something as disgusting as coffee?

A few years later I was similarly devastated when my parents announced that for our big summer vacation we would go . . . hiking.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

When I was 10 I still hated coffee, but fell in love with the ritual of making coffee. My parents were thankful enough about me fixing them coffee every morning that they overlooked my first clashes with brewing technology.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

At 17 I still suffered from coffee schizophrenia: I loved the concept of coffee, but resented the taste. I decided to cure myself through auto-hazing. Around that time, my parents took me on my first trip to Paris. We arrived by train early in the morning and went straight to a little cafe. I ordered a large café au lait and forced down the entire bowl. It worked. Since then I have enjoyed coffee pretty much every day.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

When I was 21 I worked as an intern at a magazine. The art director and I would brew a gigantic pot of coffee around 9 a.m. to help us get through the day. The pot would simmer in the coffeemaker, and through evaporation the coffee strengthened noticeably at lunchtime. In the evening hours, the remaining coffee had turned to a black concoction with a stinging smell and tar-like taste. We endured it without flinching.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

When I came to New York in 1995, I was delighted to discover deli coffee. At the time, I was focused less on taste and more on quantity and price. Thus, I was in caffeinated paradise.
In January 1999 a friend seduced me into switching to latte. Within weeks a considerable portion of my budget ended up at the L Cafe in Williamsburg.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

My inner accountant quickly convinced me to buy one of those little espresso machines (for the price of approximately 10 tall lattes). It had a steam nozzle to heat milk, which one should clean very thoroughly after each use. I didn’t have the patience to do so. Within a few uses, an unappetizing, dark brown, organic lump developed around the nozzle. A few days later it had become unremovable, and I reverted to getting my coffee outside.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

Here’s a chart that shows my coffee bias over the years.

For good measure I have added my bagel preferences over the same period. (1) Drip coffee, (2) Starbucks, (3) blueberry bagels, (4) sesame bagels, (5) poppy-seed bagels, (6) everything bagels

Please don’t hold my brief affair with blueberry bagels against me. I cured myself of this aberration.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

I order large coffees, but stop drinking when the coffee gets too cold. There’s always a couple of ounces left in the cup, so I can’t just toss it into my wastebasket. I dread the long haul to the bathroom to properly dispose of the coffee remains. Hence you will usually find a tower of paper cups on my desk.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

Hot milk greatly improves the taste of coffee, but I find milk foam useless and annoying.

My mother (who makes the most delicious coffee in the world), is obsessed with a particularly potent mechanical foam maker. The result is a layer of impenetrable foam, a kind of lacto-stucco. I have to gnaw my way through it before being able to get to the actual coffee. Apart from that she really makes the best coffee in the world.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

Once, after a grueling all-day design conference at a university, I was invited to dinner on campus. To go with the various delicious pastas, salads and quiches, coffee was served.

When you are craving a beer, coffee is the most disgusting drink in the universe.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

In New York, I was always envious of people who could walk into a coffee place and the guy behind the counter would know them so well he would just start fixing their order, without any exchange of words. It took me more than 10 years to get to that stage, but at the very end of my tenure in New York I finally achieved it: I would enter my little spot on Eighth Avenue and, with nothing more than maybe a nod of acknowledgment, my buddy prepared my personal choice: drip coffee with steamed milk.

Christoph Niemann - Coffee

After a couple of blissful weeks though, things took an unfortunate turn. For some reason he started making the wrong coffee (half and half, two sugars). I knew that if I corrected him, our mystic bond would be forever tarnished. So I swallowed the coffee, instead of my pride.

Top 10 Searches for 2008

Collected by Yahoo!

1 Britney Spears

Fredrick M. Brown/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

The singer’s steep trajectory to redemption restored her to the top of searches. Her year began with a police visit, hospital stay, and psych evaluation. She returned under her father’s shelter and, by summer, settled custody with her ex. Professionally, she guested on a sitcom, won thrice at the MTV Video Music Awards, broke records with “Womanizer,” relaunched her site, and released a documentary detailing her fall and comeback…by age 27.


Gaye Gerard/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

A June explosion destroyed a World Wrestling Entertainment stage and “injured” chairman Vince McMahon, unleashing a sweaty soap opera of chaos that included his kids appealing for cooperation in difficult times. The stunt could’ve symbolized the sporting empire’s battles against the economy’s fall and mixed martial arts’ rise. WWE produced more events, video games, and movies to make up for fewer paying fans, and faithfuls kept track online to maintain its Top 2 status.

3 Barack Obama


The Illinois junior senator faced two hard-fought contests and nearly won a third-although toppling Britney Spears wasn’t on his list. He entered 2008 as a relative newcomer on the national scene and ended the year as president-elect. His campaign defied political wisdom and made history at every turn. His Web strategy set the groundwork to make him the first wired president and, in an unprecedented Search surge, landed him at No. 3.

4 Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus (AP)

Before 2008, the singer/actress had been better known-and searched-by her Disney persona, Hannah Montana. She appeared on shows like “Idol Gives Back” as Cyrus, but true name recognition came with scandal: a Vanity Fair spread featuring the 15-year-old seemingly wrapped only in a bedsheet. Savvy Cyrus apologized, survived, and closed down Disneyland for a 16th birthday charity bash, and ended up at No. 4.

5 RuneScape

Copyright © 1999 - 2008 Jagex Ltd.

The multi-player role-playing game’s international popularity rests on its cheap access, ability to run on older computers, and compelling play. Its underground success has even led to a real black market, trading actual cash for RuneScape gold-and controversial restrictions to stop it. A new boss, graphics, and touted player-versus-player combat release signal the company’s power play to step up in the RPG battle…and take hold at No. 5.

6 Jessica Alba

Fredrick M. Brown/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Her movies fared none too well, following 2007 missteps that got her three Razzie Worst Actress nominations. Still, she earned Best Movie Actress at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards and No. 6 in searches, buoyed by her wedding and baby Honor Marie (who earned a reported $1.5 million in her OK! mag debut). The pregnant pause may have given her impetus to switch to more serious roles-something to watch for in 2009.

7 Naruto


The manga. The game. The anime. Whatever form Naruto Uzumaki takes, the awkward but accomplished young graduate of the Ninja Academy remains the Web’s most popular fictional character in seventh place. His peers and enemies also command their own followings, but the complex tale of Naruto (whose name translates to “maelstrom”), the orphaned misfit who craves recognition, resonates with its generation of fans.

8 Lindsay Lohan

Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images for IMG

At No. 8, the actress made stumbling progress back from rehab, revolving-door relationships, and rejected roles. On the upside, she settled down (with a monogamous twist), blogged about politics, and recreated Marilyn Monroe’s photo shoot. On the downside, she got booted from “Ugly Betty” and as World Music Awards host. Lohan has had celebs testifying to her talent, but a true comeback may have to wait for 2009.

9 Angelina Jolie

Win McNamee/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Leading power lists in Forbes and even Guinness World Records, the actress took her place among Hollywood’s elite. “Delicate” condition aside, she underscored her image as a tough-dame throwback with a 21st-century vibe. She earned box-office bucks as an assassin and cartoon tigress, Oscar cred in “Changeling,” and karma by donating her and Brad Pitt’s twins’ $14 mil pictorial payout to charity-moves that muscled her in at No. 9.

10 American Idol

Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Judges kept declaring its 2008 singers their best ever, but while the Fox reality show ruled ratings, an audience decline since 2007 sent producers into a fit of self-examination. In a season beset with complaints, “Idol” had the last laugh with a smashing finale and iTunes recordbreaker. The show also got “cougar” into household vernacular, unlikely credit for exposing youth to the democratic process, and a top Search 10 nod once again.

The 8 Best Recurring Arrested Development Jokes

Collected by Sub-Zero

“Look, for the tenth time, it’s pronounced ‘a-NAL-rap-ist’ “

Now that the Arrested Development movie has been confirmed as a sure thing (knock on wood), I felt it was the time to take a look back at the series’ best running jokes. The show failed because 90% of the jokes were based on older episodes, and that didn’t make for very good promo commercials, because people are stupid. But here they are, with as much video evidence as I could provide. I’m hoping all of them make a cameo in the movie, which knowing the show, I’m sure they will.

8 ) I’ve Made a Huge Mistake

Perhaps the most pervasive joke in the series, it always popped up at just the right moment.

7) Hey Brother

Buster’s greeting never changed, and took a scary turn when he started sneaking up behind Michael with his hook hand before saying it.

6) Gob’s Final Countdown Dance

He may not be a great magician, but he’s sure got a damn good opening number.

5) Never Nude

“There are literally dozens of us!”

4) Steve Holt!

Maebe’s crush and Gob’s son had the Pokemon-like trait of expressing himself by saying his own name emphatically.

3) Franklin Delanor Bluth

Sadly, I could only find an audio clip, as copyright police have all but silenced Franklin from the airways. Enjoy this snippet from “It’s Not Easy Bein’ White or Brown.”

2) Tobias the Gaffe Machine

Tobias’s sexuality was highly suspect from day one, and his choice of words throughout the show never helped his case.

1) Chicken Dance

“Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?”