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10 Top Funny, Odd and Interesting Images of 2007

Collected by OddO Rama

Some pictures are worth 1,000 words, but others are worth 1,000,000. By (subjective) category, here are 10 of the
most amazing viral images of 2007. Undoubtedly some of these you will have seen before, but some will be new as well.
Click on the images to go to the full-sized originals. Enjoy!

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Most Touching: Loyal to the End


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Most Geeky: Why We Love Firefox


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Best of Technology: 1 Gigabyte Then and Now


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Best of the Web: Why Net Neutrality is So Important

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Photoshop Humor: Photo With and Without Flash

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Religious Humor: God's Inbox


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Religious Satire: Satan Goes to Sunday School


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Commercial Humor: FedEx Pwns UPS


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Gaming Humor: Carmen Sandiego Finally Found


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Celebrity Humor: Chris Farley Found Alive

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Honorable Mention: Do Not Take This Flyer Down

7 Ways Modern Games are Spoiling us

Written by OMGLists_Team

Before this generation, gaming gave us quite a bit of pain to suffer through before enjoying the pleasure. Nowadays, it seems as though we’re being served everything we wished for on a silver platter. Here’s seven new advances in gaming that have made us happier, yet lazier.

7- Open Worlds

Back in the 2D era, games would be filled with interesting backgrounds you never could quite reach. Knowing our car, no matter how well we raced it, would never get to that theme park in the distance, or that those gigantic blue mountains in Super Mario World were never going to be traversed kinda took the wind out of our sails. While there are still barriers and deceptive backgrounds being used in games today, there are quite a few games that let us explore every nook and cranny of gigantic virtual worlds. Now how about letting us bust down doors instead of searching for stupid keys?!

6- Online Matchmaking

The history of multiplayer gaming goes as such–early gamers had to suffer through actual interaction with friends, most of which played at a much different profieciency level as you. Fast forward a few years to the dawn of internet gaming; back then most people had dial-up internet connections and the process of playing a game online went something like this: Call friend on the land-line to make sure they’re in the game. Hang up phone right before attempting to connect. After waiting ten minutes for them to show up in the waiting room we’d disconnect and call them to find out what happened. When we finally were succesful, we’d have to quit because our mom needed the phone. These days all we really need to do is push about three buttons and we’re automatically connected with 15 other players of similar skill in a lag-free, high-speed deathmatch. The best part? We don’t even have to look at them.

5- Console Based Web Browsing

While surfing the net on a gaming console or portable still can’t beat the simplicity of firing it up on your PC, it’s easy to tell the industry has already plotted a course that will place the console at the center of our internet life. The beauty of having an internet browser on a game console at this point in time is that there is almost no chance that anyone unfamiliar with gaming will come across our seedy browsing history or our download queue filled with weeks and weeks of porn. Thank God for modern technology. The downside is that while parents are now less likely to learn of your porn addiction, siblings are more likely to become suspicious when their downloaded games get erased.

4- Roster Updates

For hardcore sports-fans, every sports title is plagued with the industry’s version of Original Sin: outdated rosters. Back in the 16-32-64-bit days, our only recourse was to spend hours making trades and creating players so we could have your home team as accurate as possible. Still, we could never quite replicate the schlub our team called up from Triple-A. Thankfully, developers have made a modicum of effort to keep teams modern, if only to ensure a level playing field online. Those efforts usually die down around the time the next year’s version rolls around, but hey, any progress is good.

3- Easy Saving

With larger hard drives at our beck and call, saving has become a snap– if a game isn’t saving its progress for us, it’s allowing us to save wherever and whenever we damn well please. Why only a short time ago, we had to trudge for hours, uphill, in a blizzard, just to reach a save point. If we died before reaching a save point, that was it, and the resulting heartbreak often caused us to completely give up on a game. Even this save-point process was a luxury compared to the days where there was no such thing as saving. In those days we’d just leave the console running for weeks on end.

2- Downloadable Games

We’re ready for the revolution, America. Why are we still visiting retail locations to purchase products?! Okay, granted, we’ll buy the big products like the Hey, Lo and the Rocking Band at stores, but we’re ready to buy the big games from the comfort of our couch. Warhawk, Tekken, Geometry Wars, and every single NES and Genesis game we valued as a youth?! Yes, give us a credit card form, and we’ll enter our most vital info toute suite.

1- Wireless Controllers

What a hassle it was having wired controllers. After spending thirty-minutes unravelling cords we still had to worry about people or dogs running between us a the television. Modern wireless controllers make playing the video games of the past seem more like chores than fun. Nowadays we don’t even have to get up to turn the system on – removing the last 1% of physcial activity involved in gaming. Every gamer’s dream of beginning and ending a gaming marathon without engaging in physical locomotion has come true.

This list was created by OMGList writers Dave Rudden and Ben Karl.

20 More Photographs Taken at the Exact Right Angle

Written by Sawse – Stir it Up!

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What is the most critical element to taking amazing photographs? There are a number of candidates including lighting, focus, timing and camera type, but one device has been at the heart of producing some of the funniest and strangest pictures around: proper angle. Sorted into three categories, here are some awesome examples of images taken at just the right angle! If you enjoy these, you may want to look at the others in the series: 20 Photos at the Exact Right Angle and 25 Photos at the Exact Right Time. These also follow in the rich tradition of The 7 Giants in the Streets and The Amazing Little People of London.

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Illusions of Overlap: perhaps the most common trick, usually used to comic effect in perfect-angled photographs, is the use of overlap to create an illusion of an impossible, unlikely or entirely strange set of circumstances. These kinds of images are easy to stage, it’s catching candid ones or creating compellingly staged ones that is the real challenge.

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Unusual Moments in Time: sometimes a photograph taken at just the right angle and time takes advantage of the peculiarity of a circumstance, such as a man at an intersection with an uncommonly relaxed dog or a worker in a hole with a pudding-covered spoon. Focus is critical, with the first image capturing the expressions of curious bystanders and the latter revolving around the hat and spoon.

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Juxtaposition of the Similar: catching similar objects or like poses can create chance relationships between apparently completely different kinds of options, connecting them across scale, material and purpose in curious and comical ways. What’s your favorite? Know of others that would fit in the mix? For more fun images, check out WallStreetFighter, DeputyDog and WebUrbanist.

Sources: 1, 2, 3

The Definitive Top 25 Movies of 2007

Written by Peter Sciretta

The Definitive Top 25 Movies of 2007

This is the time of year when all the critics and websites begin to publish their Top 10 lists for 2007. But every list is different, just like every person is different. Last year I attempted to compile all the lists together, to figure out what movies appear on the most Top 10 lists. But my attempt to create a definitive listing never came to be, due to various reasons – but for the most part because of the extensive hours it required to compile.

This year I thought I’d make it a little easier. If I’ve learned anything from Steve Jobs it is that Simpler is better. Movie City News has a good compilation of the top 10 lists of the nation’s top critics. But there is a clear divide between critics and mainstream audiences, and a definitive list must account for both groups. A regular top ten list represents the opinion of one, so a definitive list must represent the combined opinion of everyone. You can read about how this list was compiled at the bottom of this posting.

The Definitive Top 25 Movies of 2007

There Will Be Blood

1. There Will Be Blood 91

The King Of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

2. The King Of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters 90.5

Ratatouille

3. Ratatouille 90

Persepolis

4. Persepolis 90

In the Shadow of the Moon

5. In the Shadow of the Moon 90

Juno

6. Juno 89.5

Sicko

7. Sicko 89

Once

8. Once 88.5

The Bourne Ultimatum

9. The Bourne Ultimatum 88

No Country For Old Men

10. No Country For Old Men 88

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

11. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly 88

Enchanted

12. Enchanted 86.5

Gone Baby Gone

13. Gone Baby Gone 86.5

Away From Her

14. Away From Her 86.5

This is England

15. This is England 86.5

The Savages

16. The Savages 85.5

Control

17. Control 85.5

Hot Fuzz

18. Hot Fuzz 85

Hairspray

19. Hairspray 85

3:10 to Yuma

20. 3:10 to Yuma 84.5

Rescue Dawn

21. Rescue Dawn 84.5

Zodiac

22. Zodiac 84

Superbad

23. Superbad 83.5

Knocked Up

24. Knocked Up 83.5

Michael Clayton

25. Michael Clayton 83.5

More Movies?

26. The Simpsons Movie 83.5
27. My Kid Could Paint That 83.5
28. Atonement 83
29. Waitress 82.5
30. Grindhouse 81.5
31. Into The Wild 81.5
32. The Host 81.5
33. American Gangster 80.5
34. Lars and the Real Girl 80.5
35. Stardust 78
36. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford 78
37. The Nines 74.5
38. The Darjeeling Limited 73.5
39. Lust, Caution 72.5

IMDb Logo

Internet Movie Database’s Top 25 Movies of 2007

1. There Will Be Blood 9.1 (1,151)
2. No Country For Old Men 8.9 (21,431)
3. Juno 8.6 (3,352)
4. In the Shadow of the Moon 8.6 (705)
5. Sicko 8.5 (20,557)
6. The King Of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters 8.5 (2,246)
7. The Bourne Ultimatum 8.3 (61,620)
8. Ratatouille 8.3 (48,149)
9. Lars and the Real Girl 8.3 (2,445)
10. Persepolis 8.3 (1,807)
11. American Gangster 8.2 (34,034)
12. 3:10 to Yuma 8.2 (23,370)
13. Atonement 8.2 (6,487)
14. Control 8.2 (3,780)
15. Grindhouse 8.2 (47,849)
16. The Nines 8.2 (636)
17. Hot Fuzz 8.1 (67,072)
18. Stardust 8.1 (28,778)
19. Into The Wild 8.1 (6,460)
20. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford 8.1 (6,215)
21. Lust, Caution 8.1 (3,274)
22. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly 8.1 (965)
23. The Savages 8.1 (550)
24. Enchanted 8.0 (10,298)
25. Superbad 8.0 (57,064)

Rotten Tomatoes Logo Beta

Rotten Tomatoes’s Top 25 Movies of 2007

1. Once 98% (131)
2. Ratatouille 97% (195)
3. The King Of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters 96% (82)
4. No Country for Old Men 95% (170)
5. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly 95% (81)
6. Away From Her 94% (127)
7. In the Shadow of the Moon 94% (101)
8. The Bourne Ultimatum 93% (207)
9. Sicko 93% (180)
10. Juno 93% (138)
11. Gone Baby Gone 93% (137)
12. Enchanted 93% (130)
13. My Kid Could Paint That 93% (68)
14. This Is England 93% (82)
15. Hairspray 92 (191)
16. The Host 92% (131)
17. Rescue Dawn 91% (141)
18. Knocked Up 90% (207)
19. Persepolis 90% (31)
20. Michael Clayton 90% (170)
21. The Savages 90% (96)
22. There Will Be Blood 9.1 (30)
23. Zodiac 89% (206)
24. Hot Fuzz 89% (178)
25. Waitress 89% (149)

How Was The Definitive Top 25 Movies of 2007 List Compiled?

When I was brainstorming this list, I decided that both the movie critics and mainstream audiences both should be represented. Rotten Tomatoes represents the biggest repository of critical response, while the Internet Movie Database has the largest user rated database. We averaged the two together and compiled the definitive listing of the top 25 movies of 2007. Note: A movie must have been released in theaters in the United States between January and December 2007, and must have garnered more than (either) 400 imdb user votes or 80 movie reviews to qualify for this list.

Is there a Divide Between Critics and Mainstream Audiences?

There is a definite divide between Critics and Mainstream ticket buyers, but it isn’t as big as most people think. For example, there are quite a few R-rated comedies and even a sci-fi horror film included in the top 25 critically acclaimed list this year.

Why is there a Divide?

I would attribute the divide to three big factors (and this is just my opinion):

#1 Critics see 300+ movies a year and comparably rate and review movies based on the tides while mainstream audiences see only a few movies a month. A more limited selection equates into an entirely different scale of what is good and what is bad.

#2 By conception, most of the people that saw Ratatouille probably wouldn’t have seen an art-house film like Once or Persepolis. Also critics see a lot of movies that they normally wouldn’t, while Mainstream audiences attend a movie screening because they are already sold.

#3 Since the average education of a movie critic/journalist is higher than the average movie-goer (who usually skews towards High School age), films with more depth and intelligent are usually more highly rewarded.

Can we see some examples of this Critic/Mainstream Audience Divide?

Here are some of the ones with larger gaps:

  • The Nines (8.2 on IMDB 67% on RT)
  • Lust, Caution (8.1 on imdb, 64% on RT)
  • Once (7.9 on imdb, 98% on RT)
  • Hairspray (7.8 on imdb, 92% on RT)
  • The Host (7.1 on imdb, 92% on RT)

A couple of these are against the usual stereotypes and conventions: Audiences loved Ang Lee’s dramatic war thriller, but for Critics just didn’t take to it. And Critics fell in love with a sci-fi monster movie, while mainstream audiences weren’t as impressed.

Why isn’t Box Office Included in the equation?

Because this list (like most year end lists) has to do with Quality, and not money. Just because a Britney Spears album sells more than a Weezer CD, doesn’t mean that Britney made a better product.

What is the Biggest Shocker?

The King Of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters is the second best movie of 2007 (according to this list), one of the best received documentaries of all time both critically and by mainstream audiences, yet the Academy has announced that they are not considering the film for the Best Documentary Oscar. A travesty.

Note: /Film is not associated with IMDb or Rotten Tomatoes. Stats provided from both sites were accurate as of December 22nd 2007.

So Many Signs, So Little Time

Collected by Dookie McBride

1. Certainly covers all bases.

Rabbits
(Photo by loungelistener).

2. And a Happy New Year.

Xmas
(Photo by David Mongeau-Petitpas).

3. Over my dead body I’m waiting for you.

Henry
(Photo by -beatnik-).

4. Right next to the sign that reads: “All you can eat that we put on your plate.”

Close
(Photo by Yeashua).

5. Nice.

Skid
(Photo by excard1970).

6. Pass.

Turkeyfest
(Photo by iluvcocacola).

7. “Living in America!”

Disney
(Photo by SheenaU).

8. Nothing like truth in advertising.

Deadpeople
(Photo by sgacouple01).

9. It’s like Disneyland for nursing babies!

Hooters
(Photo by Suncoyote).

10. Miracles sold separately.

Jesus
(Photo by whizchickenonabun).

11. Rriigghhtt.

Shop
(Photo by Gunnar Bangsmoen).

11 “Don’t-Tell-the-Wife” Secrets All Men Keep

Written by Ty Wenger

I was in the ninth grade when I learned a vital lesson about love. My girlfriend at the time, Amy, was stunningly cute, frighteningly smart and armed with a seemingly endless supply of form-fitting angora sweaters. And me? Let’s just say I was an adolescent Chris Robinson to her budding Kate Hudson — and well aware of my good fortune.

Then one day, as we stood in line for a movie at the mall, Simone Shaw, junior high prom queen, sauntered by. Suddenly Amy turned to me. “Were you looking at her?” she asked. “Do you think she’s pretty?”

My mind reeled. Of course I was looking at her! Of course she was pretty! My God, she was Simone Shaw! I paused for a second, then decided to play it straight.

“Well, yeah,” I chortled.

Five days later our breakup hit the tabloids (a.k.a. the lunchroom).

There comes a time in every man’s life when he discovers the value of hiding the grosser parts of his nature. He starts reciting the sweet nothings you long to hear: “No, honey, I play golf for the exercise.” “No, honey, I think you’re a great driver.” “No, honey, I wasn’t looking at that coed washing the car in the rain.”

We’re not lying, exactly. We’re just making things…easier. But Glenn Good, Ph.D., a relationship counselor, disagrees, and maybe he has a point. “These white lies are pretty innocent, but they can turn confusing,” he says. “Many women think, If he’s lying about himself, is he also lying about something else? Is he having an affair? To establish trust you have to tell the truth about the innocuous stuff.”

And so, in the interest of uniting the sexes, we’ve scoured the country for guys willing to share the private truths they wouldn’t normally confess. Some are a bit crass. Some you’ve always suspected. Some are surprisingly sweet. (Guys don’t like to reveal the mushy stuff, either.) But read on, and you may discover that the truth about men isn’t all that ugly.

Secret #1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day — but it doesn’t mean we want to leave you

If the oldest question in history is “What’s for dinner?” the second oldest is “Were you looking at her?” The answer: Yes — yes, we were. If you’re sure your man doesn’t look, it only means he possesses acute peripheral vision.

“When a woman walks by, even if I’m with my girlfriend, my vision picks it up,” says Doug LaFlamme, 28, of Laguna Hills, California. “I fight the urge to look, but I just have to. I’m really in trouble if the woman walking by has a low-cut top on.”

Granted, we men are well aware that our sizing up the produce doesn’t sit well with you, given that we’ve already gone through the checkout line together. But our passing glances pose no threat.

“It’s not that I want to make a move on her,” says LaFlamme. “Looking at other women is like a radar that just won’t turn off.”

Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you

More than 21 million American men play at least one round of golf a year; of those, an astounding 75 percent regularly shoot worse than 90 strokes a round. In other words, they stink. The point is this: “Going golfing” is not really about golf. It’s about you, the house, the kids — and the absence thereof.

“I certainly don’t play because I find it relaxing and enjoyable,” admits Roland Buckingham, 32, of Lewes, Delaware, whose usual golf score of 105 is a far-from-soothing figure. “As a matter of fact, sometimes by the fourth hole I wish I were back at the house with the kids screaming. But any time I leave the house and don’t invite my wife or kids — whether it’s for golf or bowling or picking up roadkill — I’m just getting away.”

Secret #3: We’re unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we’ve made one to you

This is a dicey one, so first things first: We love you to death. We think you’re fantastic. Most of the time we’re absolutely thrilled that we’ve made a lifelong vow of fidelity to you in front of our families, our friends and an expensive videographer.

But most of us didn’t spend our formative years thinking, “Gosh, I just can’t wait to settle down with a nice girl so we can grow old together.” Instead we were obsessed with how many women who resembled Britney Spears we could have sex with before we turned 30. Generally it takes us a few years (or decades) to fully perish that thought.

Secret #4: Earning money makes us feel important

In more than 7.4 million U.S. marriages, the wife earns more than the husband — almost double the number in 1981. This of course is a terrific development for women in the workplace and warmly embraced by all American men, right? Right?

Yeah, well, that’s what we tell you. But we’re shallow, competitive egomaniacs. You don’t think it gets under our skin if our woman’s bringing home more bacon than we are — and frying it up in a pan?

“My wife and I are both reporters at the same newspaper,” says Jeffrey Newton, 33, of Fayetteville, South Carolina. “Five years into our marriage I still check her pay stub to see how much more an hour I make than she does. And because she works harder, she keeps closing the gap.”

Secret #5: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house

I risk being shunned at the local bar if this magazine finds its way there, because few charades are as beloved by guys as this one. To hear us talk, the Bataan Death March beats grouting that bathroom shower. And, as 30-year-old Ed Powers of Chicago admits, it’s a shameless lie. “In truth, it’s rewarding to tinker with and fix something that, without us, would remain broken forever,” he says. Plus we get to use tools.

“The reason we don’t share this information,” Powers adds, “is that most women don’t differentiate between taking out the trash and fixing that broken hinge; to them, both are tasks we need to get done over the weekend, preferably during the Bears game. But we want the use-your-hands, think-about-the-steps-in-the-process, home-repair opportunity, not the repetitive, no-possibility-of-a-compliment, mind-dulling, purely physical task.” There. Secret’s out.

Secret #6: We like it when you mother us, but we’re terrified that you’ll become your mother

With apologies to Sigmund Freud, Gloria Steinem — and my mother-in-law.

Secret #7: Every year we love you more

Sure, we look like adults. We own a few suits. We can probably order wine without giggling. But although we resemble our father when he was our age, we still feel like that 4-year-old clutching his pant leg.

With that much room left on our emotional-growth charts, we sense we’ve only begun to admire you in the ways we will when we’re 40, 50 and — God forbid — 60. We can’t explain this to you, because it would probably come out sounding like we don’t love you now.

“It took at least a year before I really started to appreciate my wife for something other than just great sex; and I didn’t discover her mind fully until the third year we were married,” says Newton. “But the older and wiser I get, the more I love my wife.” Adds J.P. Neal, 32, of Potomac, Maryland: “The for-richer-or-poorer, for-better-or-worse aspects of marriage don’t hit you right away. It’s only during those rare times when we take stock of our life that it starts to sink in.”

Secret #8: We don’t really understand what you’re talking about

You know how, during the day, you sometimes think about certain deep, complex “issues” in your relationship? Then when you get home, you want to “discuss” these issues? And during these “discussions,” your man sits there nodding and saying things like “Sure, I understand,” “That makes perfect sense” and “I’ll do better next time”?

Well, we don’t understand. It doesn’t make any sense to us at all. And although we’d like to do better next time, we could only do so if, in fact, we had an idea of what you’re talking about.

We do care. Just be aware that the part of our brain that processes this stuff is where we store sports trivia.

Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive

Want to know how to reduce your big, tough guy to a quivering mass of fear? Ask him for the car keys.

“I am scared to death when she drives,” says LaFlamme.

“Every time I ride with her, I fully accept that I may die at any moment,” says Buckingham.

“My wife has about one ‘car panic’ story a week — and it’s never her fault. All these horrible things just keep happening — it must be her bad luck,” says Andy Beshuk, 31, of Jefferson City, Missouri.

Even if your man is too diplomatic to tell you, he is terrified that you will turn him into a crash-test dummy.

Secret #10: We’ll always wish we were 25 again

Granted, when I was 25 I was working 16-hour days and eating shrimp-flavored Ramen noodles six times a week. But as much as we love being with you now, we will always look back fondly on the malnourished freedom of our misguided youth. “Springsteen concerts, the ’91 Mets, the Clinton presidency — most guys reminisce about the days when life was good, easy and free of responsibility,” says Rob Aronson, 41, of Livingston, New Jersey, who’s been married for 11 years. “At 25 you can get away with things you just can’t get away with at 40.”

While it doesn’t mean we’re leaving you to join a rock band, it does explain why we occasionally come home from Pep Boys with a leather steering-wheel cover and a Born to Run CD.

Secret #11: Give us an inch and we’ll give you a lifetime

I was on a trip to Mexico, standing on a beach, waxing my surfboard and admiring the glistening 10-foot waves, when I decided to marry the woman who is now my wife. Sure, this was three years before I got around to popping the question. But that was when I knew.

Why? Because she’d let me go on vacation alone. Hell, she made me go. This is the most important thing a man never told you: If you let us be dumb guys, if you embrace our stupid poker night, if you encourage us to go surfing — by ourselves — our silly little hearts, with their manly warts and all, will embrace you forever for it.

And that’s the truth.

50 UnGrinchy Christmas Ideas for 2007

This article was written and recommended by Andy Havens, the Author of Tinkerx. He wrote a post called The UnGrinch 25 last year; a list of ideas on how to keep the fun, spirit and joy in your holiday season. In order to challenge himself, He was upping the ante this year. Let’s see if he can come up with 50 ways to beat the Holiday Humbugs. So? away we go.

Craft Ideas

1. Make a family calendar. Pick a theme or use pics of your family. Fill it with all the important family dates; birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Include a weird or interesting events from Chase’s Annual Events. You can make monthly calendars using MS Publisher, or the ever-free and wonderful Open Office. Good to have, good to give.

2 Create your own ornaments. My favorite, as a kid, was to take a styrofoam shape (bell, star, even a simple ball), and stick a bajillion sequins to it with pins. Pretty. Shiny. And it keeps kids busy for hours while you do other holiday nonsense. Another ornament idea (bonus!) is to take beads (I like the shiny, little, star-flowery shaped ones) and string them along a piece of craft wire. When you’re done, you end up with an ornament that’s also a bendy toy.

3. Lego nativity scene.Nuff said.

4. Toys from tots. There are many organizations that gather up toys for kids who don’t have them. And that’s fantastic. But kids also love to make and give stuff around the holiday season, and may not have the resources. Organize an effort to provide a crafty sort of event where all the necessary parts and instructions for making a neat holiday gift are available to a group of kids who otherwise wouldn’t have access. My bet is that if you or your organization provided the stuff and the supervision, your local, public library could help you find a place to do it.

5. Make a truly edible gingerbread house. Every gob-smacked gingerbread house I’ve ever seen has been “hands off” (and more importantly, “teeth off”). Feh! Where’s the fun? I mean? C’mon! I don’t care if you stick six graham crackers together with peanut butter and put one gum-drop on top for a chimney. Do it, and then let the kids get all Godzilla on it. Or chomp it down yerself. You know you want to?

6. Decorate somebody else’s space. Carefully. Tastefully. Always within the bounds of office rules/etiquette and the law/fire-code. But how nice would it be to enter your office (cube?) and find a wee, unexpected holiday trinket? Totally anonymous. Or to come home and have a strange, lovely wreath hanging on your lamp-post? Put a small, stuffed penguin with a Santa hat on someone’s dashboard today.

7. Group shoebox calendar. Warning: takes planning. Everybody in your gang (family, office, church-group, etc.) brings in enough shoeboxes to make 25. Everybody puts something in them to help decorate the common space. Wrap them (and keep the innards secret), then randomly assign numbers 1-25 to them. Or more or less if you’re doing a non-religious thing. Do 31 and make it a “New Year’s Calendar.” Whatever. Then, on each day, get together as a group, open the appropriate box (take turns, now) and use it to brighten the day and make the place niftier.

8. Bad Mojo Wreath Voodo. OK? this one will probably not go down well for many church youth groups? but it’s meant with a sense of humor, so chill out. Have everyone in your gang (family, group) write something that bugs them on a piece of colored paper that matches (or not) the cheapest, driest, most flamable wreath you can find. Decorate the wreath with the slips of nastiness. On the day of celebration, burn (or otherwise destroy in a more work-friendly manner) the Wreath of Spite. Celebrate the destruction and release of the things that bug you.

9. Holiday bird-feeder. I like bird-feeders. So do my squirrels. Oh, well? But mostly they either look like weird plastic contraptions or little A-frame tenements. Help a bird out. Decorate a special bird-house/feeder for the holidays.

10. Odd snow sculpture. We all make the snowmen. Yes, yes. Lovely snowmen. Do it up different this year. Make a snow carving of your company’s logo. Never mind. Don’t do that. How about a UF-SNOW? Unidentified Freezing Snowcraft? Or a guy climbing up your front tree? Or a giant hand? Don’t be overly critical of your work? just get some friends together and get stupid with the snow.

Entertaining Ideas.

11. Rewrite “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Let’s face it, hollering, “Fiiiiive gooolden riiings!” is way fun. Way, way fun. You can not resist, so don’t hold back. But what’s even more fun, is hollering your own family version that only you and the clan know. Because, really? doesn’t singing about how your true love gave to you? “eight maids a milking” make you a bit? uncomfortable? I mean? dude gives people for Christmas? That ain’t right. Bob and Doug McKenzie not withstanding, your own version will be more fun. My son, just this morning, was singing, “Fiiiiive gooolden delicious!” Hilarious.

12. Indoor snow-ball fights. We spent two years of my childhood in California, after having lived in Boston, and with parents who grew up in New York. Snow ball fights are a required element of winter joy. Indoor? Substitute aluminum foil balls, rolled-up socks, styrofoam (messy), newspaper wads, etc. instead of snow. The point is to throw things. Banzai!

13. Mall caroling. It’s hard to find places to carol. Outside can get very cold. And, with kids in tow? well, it’s tough. Check with a couple local malls and arrange for a time to invite anyone who’d like to participate to meet, get song books, and walk around the mall singing. See if you can arrange for an accordion player. Seriously. It adds to the cheer. If you want to charge a couple bucks to participate and also collect donations from listeners and then give the money to a local toys-for-tots charity, that makes the whole deal more righteous, and more palatable to certain civic types.

14. Grown-up PJ party. Notice I did not say “adult.” This is not a chance to play spin-the-bottle. This is about getting back to childishness. Come in PJs, bathrobes, bunny-slippers, blankets, etc. Bring your favorite (hopefully holiday related) bed-time story to read aloud to the group. Drink cocoa w/ tiny marshmallows (yes, and some brandy or JD) and have candy canes and graham crackers for snacks. Sit on the floor around the fireplace. Watch all the old
Rankin-Bass claymation holiday specials on VHS. Sing a few carols. Play?

15. Insane White Elephant. Last year, John Moore from Brand Autopsy set up an excellent White Elephant Blog. It ain’t up this year. Oh, well. The basic principles of a White Elephant gift exchange apply, but anyone who has their gift taken can keep stealing from anyone who hasn’t yet had their gift stolen that turn. The more people playing, the more fun. No “deceased” gifts in this version, either. Until you’ve had a gift stolen on any given turn, it’s in play.

16. Make-a-wreath party. OK? this is a combo craft/entertainment idea. So sue me. We used to do this at the church I grew up going to. You show up with the basics of an advent wreath (styrofoam torus and a bunch of evergreen branches), and the host provides all kinds of add-ons; candles and holders, bells, ribbon, holly, berries, etc. Good times, and a wreath to take home, too.

17. Semi-formal holiday martini party. In the old days (the 1950’s), people dressed up to go to holiday parties. And while this may still hold true for some work-sponsored events, more and more often, work holiday parties are tired, dull affairs. Most of the ones I’ve been to are, anyways. So, on your own, get some friends together and dress all high-class, and drink funky, fun martinis. No reason grown-ups can’t have grown-up fun around the holidays, too.

18. Remembrance time. Around the table, have family members or friends recount their best (or most interesting) holiday memories. Yes, it’s corny. But corny is good during this time of the year. Embrace the corn.

19. Tell your faith’s holiday story with sock puppets. You never real own a story until you tell it. I know this, because I played King Nebuchannezzar in a 4th grade production of, “Cool in the Furnace.” I now own The Firey Furnace. Be that as it may? You can hear the Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, Solstice, etc. stories again and again. But until you write out a script, make your own sock puppets for the players, fashion a stage from a major appliance crate and put on a show for the grown-ups? do you really grok the holiday’s true meaning? I think not.

20. Mix-up the classics. Get the book versions of classic holiday tales like Rudolph, Santa, Frosty, Night Before Christmas, A Christmas Carol, etc. Get some index cards. Write character names, major attributes (“nose glows,” “miser,” “made of snow,” “elf,”) and plot points (“comes down the chimney,” “ridiculed by reindeer,” “just settled down for a long winter’s nape”) on them and keep the categories separate. Now go back and read one of the originals, but when someone (usually a child or me) yells “stop!,” insert a random card from the appropriate face-down pile. So you end up with something like:

“Rudolph didn’t like all the other reindeer calling him names, so he?”
“Stop!”
“? gave Bob Cratchit money to help with Tiny Tim’s legs.”

You can keep going with the original story, substituting other zaniness, or switch over to the one from the card. Whichever seems like more fun to you. And, yes, this is kind of a holiday version of TaleWeaver.

Card Ideas

21. Make your own envelopes. A dear friend of mine (Hi, Susan!) once sent me letters every few months in hand-made envelopes. Hers were made from interesting magazine ads. How cool is that? If you want to get fancy, do a search on the Internet for “make envelopes” and such. But the easiest way is to get the envelopes that go with whatever cards you’re mailing, carefully bust ’em apart, trace them on funky paper (magazine pictures, wallpaper, wrapping paper?) and then cut, fold and glue (or double-sticky clear tape) them together. People may expect hand-made cards. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Or hand-made envelopes. Festivisimus!

22. Photoshop your kid(s) into other (classic) pics. I first saw this done to Raphael’s “The Sistine Madonna, Detail of the Angles” painting (as shown). Although a much better job than the one I’ve done here, which is of my niece and nephew (Hi, Nate! Hi, Sophie!) Click on it to see a much larger image. The point is to have fun and take a picture folks will recognize and include people they will recognize. It doesn’t have to be a serious pic, either. I would think that your kid climbing the Empire State Building to put a star on top would be hysterical. Use this instead of a regular picture-of-your-kids card because? well? because it’s goofy. Combine with #9, below, for best effect.

23. Gift cards for chores, favors, hugs, etc. These were a big item when I was growing up. Don’t know if other people did them. The idea was to make gift-certificates or gift cards that “entitled the bearer to (1) one doing of the dishes upon presentation of this card.” You can make these intimate for your honey (I won’t get into those variations here, thank you), or appropriate for work. For example, I once gave my boss ten “Andy will now pipe down” certificates. Upon presentation, I was obligated to shut my pie hole. She only ever handed me two. I believe she traded the rest in for some magic beans. Or they may be floating around on eBay? Hmmm?.

24. “Puzzle Party” cards. Take, buy or make a nice picture and turn it into a jigsaw, either yourself or at Kinkos. Mail one piece to each person you’re inviting to the party. When they come, they add their piece. Depending on how corn-ball you are, you can hold forth on how we’re all a part of the holiday panorama of joy, etc. etc. It also serves to increase the guilt factor that motivates people to come to your party, since if they don’t? their piece will be missing. Ha!

25. “Family News” cards from the future. I love this one. Lots of families I know write a very nice update about what’s been going on over the last year. It’s nice to hear, but? mostly it ends up being, “Dad’s still working and maybe going a bit more stir crazy. Same for mom. The kids are in school and are a year older.” Yawn? I like the idea of fast-forwarding a bit and writing your “Holiday Family News from 2025.” Keep it just as straight-faced and boring, but mention which dimension Mary got lost in on the way to work this time. Talk about how the Martian embassy lost your passport on your 2nd honeymoon cruise, etc. etc. Much more fun. Cloning humor goes over big in this one, too.

26. Mystery cards. Send a really nice holiday card, maybe include a gift certificate, but with no indication of whom it’s from; no names, no return address, etc. Why? To bug the crap out of somebody you love. And isn’t that what the holiday season is all about?

27. Return-reply cards. Send people a card with a self-addressed, stamped envelope or postcard inside to send back to you. Put questions on it you’d like answered, like? what do you want for Christmas next year? How the heck are ya? Which holiday movies did you see and like or hate? People love to be interactive. Give the gift that gives something back to you.

28. Custom mouse pad card. They will throw away the picture of your kids. But if you put that picture on a custom mouse pad? it’s a keepsake.

29. Nice, custom cards. While we’re visiting Cafepress.com. ? You can go to the drug store and have any photo turned into a card. And they sure look like you did just that. But if you take a few more minutes, you can actually have custom cards printed out for you. Ones that look like cards. Which is nicer, you must admit. Combine this with #2, above.

30. Origami cards. Do your regular card, but include a piece (or more, if necessary) of origami paper and instructions for making an ornament, decoration, etc. Your local library has holiday origami books, I bet. Again? the point is to do something different? with a little extra un-Grincy flavor.

Gift/Shopping Ideas

31. Surrogate shopping party. So many of us have someone or several someones on our lists that are impossible to shop for or that we just have a mental block on. Fine. Get together for dinner and share an equal number of those folks with each other, along with a few details and a dollar ceiling per gift. Then release yourselves into a mall with a time limit. Then get back together and share the swag. I guar-ohn-tee that your friends will find stuff for your hard-to-getters that you’d never have thought of. If it ain’t right? Well, ’tis the season to return stuff.

32. Thought gifts. They say, “It’s the thought that counts.” OK. So, this year, only give thoughts for the holidays. Make this the year that you and yours agree to take whatever your budget for gifts was and either give it to a charity or stick it in a savings vehicle; your call, I’m not preaching here. But for yourselves? take the time to actually say the things you haven’t said. Give “the thought” behind the gift. If you’re a spiritual person, pray or meditate on the subject for a bit. Do it in a card if you like, or via email. Don’t make the logistics as much of a pain as shopping/wrapping/etc. That’s not the point. But all the major religions that are celebrating this time of year have gift-giving as a central notion not as a potlatch per se, but as a metaphor for love, friendship, community, etc.

33 Archie McPhee. This idea is a straight-up pimp for the Jumbo Mystery Box from Archie McPhee. I get one of these every year (although this year I have been strongly advised that the ladies want something non-McPhee in their stockings? geez), and use the contents for stockings, Secret Santa, random giftings, prizes for students, etc. You never know, around holiday time, when a bunch of Hindu god finger puppets, glowing eyeballs or rampaging Hun toy soldiers will come in handy.

34. Gifts for the future of the group. Have everybody get everybody something that will only really “work” when you get back together. Pick a group-y activity like a picnic or game night, and have everyone get/give gifts that will be brought together again each time you do that thing.

35. Recommendations or reviews. I get lots of gift certificates. And that’s cool. But it still means I need to figure out what I want to get with the thing. If you give someone a gift certificate (especially to a book or music store/site), provide a list of 5 or 10 ideas that you think they’d like. Write little mini-reviews of books you’ve read, movies you’ve seen, etc. that made you think of the person. Make the list fun, funny or serious? but it will add personality and thought to what can seem like a somewhat generic offering.

36. Make part of the gift yourself. Homemade gifts are special, when they come from adults as well as kids. I recently received a CD from a friend, and it was wrapped in a handkerchief that he’d tie-dyed himself. How cool is that?! If you give someone a coffee machine, create a custom mug for them, too.

37. Food with gifts inside. I don’t know why this is fun, but it is. Make sure you warn people, and make the gifts obvious (small gems can be a choking or tooth-breaking hazard). Seal stuff in zip-lock bags to preserve the food and the toys. Put something in the Jello (action figures?) that will make digging out the prize as much fun as playing with it.

38. Gifts with a story. Write a fictional story about how the gift you’re giving came into your hands. Make it funny, sweet, odd, implausible? whatever. It will make the present more memorable.

39. Don’t overthink. We spend so much time (well, I don’t, but “we” do) trying to figure out the “perfect gift” for people. Unless you’re sweetie is waiting for a ring, or your 8-year-old will DIE without a particular Lego set? there ain’t no such thing. Part of the fun of gifts is getting something you wouldn’t ever have bought for yourself. If it wasn’t, we’d just give each other money. Bleh. So give something odd and unexpected. I mentioned Archie McPhee before. Another great site full of fun and different ideas is the Quincy Shop. Very unique stuff, in a wide range of prices and styles. Really fun. This year, somebody better get me a Buddha Board Zen Art thing, or I’m a-gonna cry. I got most of last year’s stocking stuffers from their “Unique Gifts Under $10” section. Their selection and service gets the Andy Havens’ Seal of Wow! That’s Neat!

40. Share kids. Childhood is a big part of the holidays; both our own and our kids’. If you don’t have kids and are friends with someone who does, offer to babysit so that they can go out and shop, and then do one of the craft things above. If you do have kids, and know folks that don’t, invite them over for an event where the kids will play a part. Holidays go better with runts.

Meaningful Ideas

Hopefully, all the above ideas can be meaningful. This last set, though, is meant to supply you with specific, holiday depth and feelings of joy, brotherhood, jolly?tude? Jolliness? That sounds better.

The holidays can be meaningful? Go figger.

41. Start a bizarre, personal holiday tradition. I heard somewhere (can’t find it online, sorry? it may be apocryphal) that Amy Grant’s family explodes their Christmas tree after New Year’s Day with fireworks. I’m neither hot nor cold on Ms. Grant, but? that’s flippin’ awesome!!! So many of our holiday traditions are either copped from cultures that really aren’t our own anymore, or have been entirely kidnapped by the media/mercantile world. Why not invent a new ritual that’s just for you and your family? Stuff a sock with toys by the fireplace? Why? I sure as heck don’t know. How about, instead, everybody in your family writes one line of a nativity poem. Or fight some gingerbread man wars. Or make advent candles from last year’s used crayons. At my house, we’ve now been playing street hockey the day after Christmas for several years with all the in-laws. Why? Bob wanted to one year. After three years? It’s a tradition!

42. Overtip, ridiculously, at least once. Food service is tough work. And around the holidays, it’s even worse. People are out-and-about, running like mad, full o’ holiday spirit, and, often, not very nice to the wait staff. And because we’re spending more than we should on various baubles, bangles and beads? we’re often a bit penurious when it comes to the everyday stuff. Which hurts the folks whose livelihood depends on our largess. So. At least once, between Thanksgiving and New Year, when you get good service and a nice smile with your meal? leave a $20 tip on a $13 lunch meal. Or, what the heck? leave $50 to cover a $22 dinner. Or $100 for a cup o’ joe. Seriously. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Do it, as the scriptures say, “In the dark.” But do it. You’ll make somebody’s whole season.

43. Start a yearly journal. Very few people keep a journal. I’m a professional writer, and I don’t. I’m supposed to, but I write at work, and I blog, and I write poetry and fiction and, and, and? So I’ve never had a daily journal. But what I do have is a notebook that I take out about once a year. Often around the holidays. And, in my case, I write in it the names of people – everyone I can remember – that I’ve met during the last year or so. And, of course, I go back and read the earlier entries and reflect on how lucky I’ve been to have known so many wonderful people. The names are my “touchstones” to the past. The names are bookmarks in my memory, because people anchor the most important events in my life, I think. Anyway? that’s what’s in my “annual journal” for the most part. Yours, of course, can be anything you want.

44. Share a resolution. We don’t keep our New Year’s resolutions, for the most part, because we are not really accountable to ourselves. We cheat and look the other way. So share a resolution with a friend or family member; let them hold you accountable, and vice versa.

45. Share a resolution. No, this is not a repeat. In this case, I mean make a resolution that includes another person. For example, resolve to have a game-night once a week with your family, or to go for a walk 3 days a week with your spouse. Resolve to send an email back-and-forth at least twice a month with a friend you don’t see much anymore. Resolve to cook healthy for me, and I’ll cook healthy for you twice a week. Resolve to help your boss with his annoying habit of not taking minutes/notes at meetings, and he can help you with your attempts at better process management. So many things that we want to accomplish are impossible alone. Resolve to be better together.

46. Visit someone else’s ceremony. When I was in confirmation class as a young Methodist swain, our pastor took us to a Passover Seder service at one of the nearby Jewish temples. It was a great way to learn about the similarities and differences between my faith and that of my Jewish friends, and to drink wine as a 15-year-old. That specific holiday won’t work around December? but you get the point. Find out what and how others are celebrating around this time of the year. You’ll end up experiencing your own traditions more deeply, I guarantee.

47. Take someone to a performance of Handel’s “Messiah” who’s never been. There’s a church in your area putting it on, I guarantee. If not (some guarantee, eh?), rent a version from the library. It’s truly one of the most beautiful, moving pieces of holiday music you can experience. Sharing it is a great gift.

48. Random (nice) blog comments. If you read lots of blogs, take the time to do something that only 1-in-100 readers generally does; leave a comment. We bloggers write for lots of reasons. But nothing makes our day like a comment from a reader we haven’t heard from before. If you’ve enjoyed the work of a blogger in the past, visit their space and let them know. It takes just a few minutes, and really is a lovely treat for us. Please note, I am not fishing for comments on this blog. I’m projecting. ;->

49. Give to a charity you don’t normally connect with. Stretch a bit. If you mostly give at church, find a secular charity that does something you agree with. If you tend towards issues of hunger, try education. I’m not saying don’t do the stuff you usually do? but find out about a new one. When our giving becomes rote, we lose something of the original reason we were moved to give. Get out of your comfort zone and find a new way to share.

50. Forgiveness. One of the worst barriers to experiencing spiritual, holiday joy is the sense that we are not worthy. Whether directly or indirectly, too much gift giving is often a substitute for the resolution of actual issues. And one of the issues that really can weigh us down this time of the year is a grudge. Whether you’re holding one against someone else, or they’re mad at you about something? take care of it. If it’s so far in the past that the person is dead, moved on, out-of-touch,etc., then talk to a friend, therapist or confessor of some kind. Get rid of it. I don’t care what your religion is or if you have none. The burden of unforgiveness is a strain on the holidays for us all. Lose that, and all the other holiday stuff will be much, much brighter.

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Well, that’s it for this year. Hopefully you found something in here that will help your holiday be more fun, festive and? fruitful? Well, bad alliteration aside, have a joyful season and a Happy New Year.

Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery

Written by Getty Images

jm-blog-photo-one.jpg
John Moore/Getty Images

After spending much of the last six years covering the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, I felt like I needed to visit Arlington National Cemetery this Memorial Day weekend. I felt like I owed it some time.

I went with my family – my pregnant wife and my young daughter. Separately and together, my wife and I have covered a lot of heart-wrenching stories around the world, but Section 60 was unlike any place we had been.

The beauty and serenity of Virginia’s rolling hills and awe inspiring views of Washington D.C. clash with today’s reality of national loss, where grief is raw and in your face. You step over grass sods still taking root over freshly dug graves. You watch a mother kiss her son’s tombstone. Two soldiers put flowers and a cold beer next to the grave of a fallen buddy. A young son left a hand-written note for his dad. “I hope you like Heven, hope you liked Virginia very much hope you like the Holidays. I also see you every Sunday. Please write back!”

Section 60 is not about a troop surge or a war spending bill or whether we should be fighting these wars at all. It is about ordinary people trying to get through something so hard that most of us can’t ever imagine it. Everyone I met that afternoon had a gut-wrenching story to tell.

Mary McHugh is one of those people. She sat in front of the grave of her fiance James “Jimmy” Regan, talking to the stone. She spoke in broken sentences between sobs, gesturing with her hands, sometimes pausing as if she was trying to explain, with so much left needed to say.

Later on, after she spoke with a fellow mourner from a neighboring grave, I went over and introduced myself and told her I was photographing for Getty Images and had brought my family on our own pilgrimage to the site. I told her we had been living in Pakistan for the last few years, how we had come back to the States for a few months for the birth of our second child.

Mary told me about her slain fiance Jimmy Regan. Clearly, she had not only loved him but truly admired him. When he graduated from Duke, he decided to enlist in the Army to serve his country. He chose not to be an officer, though he could have been, because he didn’t want to risk a desk job. Instead, he became an Army Ranger and was sent twice to Aghanistan and Iraq – an incredible four deployments in just three years. He was killed in Iraq this February by a roadside bomb.

I told her how I had spent a lot of time in Iraq and Afghanistan, photographing American troops in combat. I told her that earlier this year I was a month in Ramadi and then a few more weeks in a tough spot called Helmand. I told her how I am going back to Iraq sometime this summer and that I was very sorry to see her this Memorial Day in the national cemetery, visiting a grave.

Mary said that they had planned to get married after Jimmy’s four years of service were up next year. “We loved each other so much,” she said. “We thought we had all of the time in the world.”

After a few moments more, my beautiful wife, Gretchen, now almost 9 months pregnant, walked over with our two-year-old Isabella. Our daughter started climbing over me, saying “daddy” in my ear and pulling on my arm to come walk with her. I felt awkward and guilty about the contrast, but if Mary felt it too, she was nothing but gracious and friendly. I told her that I would forward her some photos of her from that day if she would like and she gave me her email address. We said our goodbyes and I moved on with my family through the sea of graves.

Later on, I passed by and she was lying in the grass sobbing, speaking softly to the stone, this time her face close to the cold marble, as if whispering into Jimmy’s ear.

Some people feel the photo I took at the moment was too intimate, too personal. Like many who have seen the picture, I felt overwhelmed by her grief, and moved by the love she felt for her fallen sweetheart.

After so much time covering these wars, I have some difficult memories and have seen some of the worst a person can see – so much hatred and rage, so much despair and sadness. All that destruction, so much killing. And now, one beautiful and terribly sad spring afternoon amongst the rows and rows of marble stones – a young woman’s lost love.

I felt I owed the Arlington National Cemetery a little time – and I think I still do. Maybe we all do.

Sex Your Way to Better Health: A Dozen Reasons Why You Should Have Sex Tonight

Written by Yvonne K. Fulbright

Sex – it does the body good.

Yet most of us are quicker to hit the gym before hitting the sheets when it comes to taking care of ourselves. Believe it or not, huffing and puffing your way through a hot, sweat-inducing sex session may be far more beneficial to your overall health than the time you spend on the treadmill.

As research confirms time and time again, good sex in a healthy, stable, monogamous relationship can only better our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well being. Sex, in this context, offers us tons of benefits, most of which aren’t touted nearly enough.

Here are just a few benefits:

Weight loss and weight control. Forget torturing yourself with the latest fad diet or hours on the elliptical machine when you can burn about 200 calories in 30 minutes of sex! Lovemaking lends itself to improved strength, flexibility, muscle tone, and cardiovascular conditioning. Plus, there’s something super sexy about getting to sleep with your very own “personal trainer.”

Pain management. Forgo popping a pain killer and opt for something a bit more “au naturel.” Sex has been shown to offer migraine and menstrual cramp relief, as well as alleviate chronic back pain thanks to the endorphins and corticosteroids released during sexual arousal and orgasm.

Stress relief. Sex, even if only with ourselves, impacts the way we respond to stress, increasing levels of oxytocin and stimulating feelings of warmth and relaxation. What better way to unwind from a tough day than sharing its most climactic moment with your special someone?

Immune booster. Stop spending late nights at the office. Sex wards off colds and the flu. And sexually active people take fewer sick days, giving the phrase “working late” an entirely new meaning. Bosses, take note.

Better heart health. A little bit of heart and soul in the sack should be part of every doctor’s orders when it comes to cardiovascular care. Sex may help lower cholesterol and the risk of heart attack.

Increased self-esteem and intimacy. When sex is consistent and involves mutual pleasure, it can increase bonding since the surge in oxytocin at orgasm stimulates feelings of affection, intimacy, and closeness. When spiritual in nature, sex can lead to an even better quality of life and stronger relationship. Is it any wonder that good sexual energy in a positive relationship can make you feel better about yourself, your partner, and life in general?

Sleep enhancement. There’s no need to count sheep when sex, including masturbation, helps insomnia. Plus, making love sure beats tossing and turning your way to zzzz’s.

A better, younger looking you. Sex keeps you looking and feeling younger and, according to some research, may lead to shiny hair, a glowing complexion and bright eyes. This is because it increases the youth-promoting hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrostone). And feeling more attractive charges your sex life even more.

Mood lifter. Sex releases pleasure-inducing endorphins during arousal and climax that can relieve depression and anxiety, and increase vibrancy.

Longevity. There is a significant relationship between frequency of orgasm and risk of death, especially with men. Men who orgasm two times a week have a 50 percent lower chance of mortality than those who climax one time per month. The bonus: Living longer also gives you and your honey the opportunity for even more lovin’!

Decreased risk of breast cancer. One study of women who had never given birth found that an increased frequency of sexual intercourse was correlated with a decrease in the incidence of breast cancer.

Reproductive health benefits. According to at least one study, sex appears to decrease a man’s risk of prostate cancer, and the prevention of endometriosis in women. It also promotes fertility in women by regulating menstrual patterns.

In a nutshell, the health benefits of sex in a good, solid relationship are practically endless. Yet, in planning our New Year’s resolutions, how many of us are declaring, “I think I’ll have more sex with my lover” in fulfilling any 2008 health and self-improvement goals?

While exercise on a regular basis is important to your health, sex can do so much more for you and your relationship. So before signing any dotted line for a new gym membership, consider how time allotted to an athletic club could be far more effective in your boudoir.

You can get a lot more bang for your buck in the bedroom, double your “membership” benefits, and, with sex breeding the desire for more sex, thanks to a boost in testosterone, it’s a workout plan you’re likelier to stick to.

Dr. Yvonne Krist?n Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”