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The 10 Most Worthless College Majors

Written by Holy Taco

College is a great place to learn and have fun. But let’s not kid ourselves, some degrees are as useless as the plot in a Michael Bay film. Here’s a list of 10 degrees that may be interesting, but do jack shit for you in the real world.

10. Art History

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: With an art history degree you could maybe curate an art gallery or work at a museum or
.yeah, that’s it. That’s all you can do. And seeing as how every art gallery and museum I’ve ever been to has exactly one dude sitting quietly at a desk reading a New Yorker and eating a food that requires chopsticks, I’m going to go ahead and assume there’s not a lot of positions open in the field. That means you’re going to have to venture out into the corporate world. And let me inform you, when you’re interviewing with Bob from the HR team at Wal-Mart who’s wearing a tie that has the twin towers smoking with writing underneath that says “We Will Never Forget,” your art history degree says to him “I’m a commie a-hole who thinks I’m better than guys with 9/11 ties.”

What Job You’ll End Up With: After your parents boot your ass from your bedroom to make room for anything that’s not your bedroom, you’ll wander towards the nearest coffee shop and get a job there, which will allow you to meet artists who will thank you for allowing them to put fliers by the cash register that inform people of their upcoming show that touts “the combination of art and flute.”

9. Philosophy

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: This isn’t ancient Greece: No one is going to pay you money, or allow you to sodomize their attractive son, in exchange for your knowledge of existence. Never has there been an employer who’s said “Man, we’re having all kinds of problems, I wish we had someone on our team who could reference and draw conclusions from the story of Siddhartha that would pull up our fourth quarter numbers.” I took many philosophy classes and it involved reading and smoking a shit pile of weed. You don’t need to pay 20,000 dollars a year to do that. All you need is twenty dollars and a library card.

What Job You’ll End Up With: Thanks to your extensive knowledge of philosophy, you’re now self-aware enough to know that most jobs out there will make you totally miserable. So most likely you’ll wait tables part time and hope someone starts paying you for the bi-monthly entries on your blog.

8. American Studies

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: If you’re not named Achmed or Bjork or G’Day Mate this isn’t a degree, it’s the last 18 years of your life. If you really want to study us you don’t need to go to some stupid class, you need only to sit back and watch a two-hour block of Must-See TV to understand The American. After doing my own research, it seems that this mysterious creature is a pot-bellied humanoid with a hot wife and bad credit who has a penchant for low-calorie beer, Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays, Denny’s, McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Dave and Busters, Steak and Shake, Chilis (again) and Red Lobster. Oh and he can totally demolish a White Castle Crave Case in, like, 20 seconds. OK, now give me my degree.

What Job You’ll End Up With: To take your American Studies degree one step further, you will be qualified to do 40-50 years of “graduate work” cleaning tables and taking orders at a Chilis, Applebees, TGIFridays or Red Lobster. Or possibly Denny’s.

7. Music Therapy

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: I didn’t even know this was a major until I found it on the Appalachian State website. According to their actual explanation of this major: “Music therapy is the scientific application of the art of music within a therapeutic relationship to meet the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of individuals.” Which is a big, fancy way of saying “We’ll teach you how to make a mix tape.” I guess I, too, am a qualified music therapist because my “Summer Jams ’95” tape I made in the 10th grade totally rocked my house party. All my friends told me that kicking it off with Wreckz-N-Effects “Rump Shaker” followed by Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” totally met their physical, mental and spiritual needs to help them get wasted on my dad’s Schnapps and Drambuie.

What Job You’ll End Up With: After realizing that yoga studios and elderly homes don’t pay people just to come in and set mood music, you’re sadly going to end up putting your degree towards burning a fire to keep warm because you are homeless.

6. Communications

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Go into a communications class on any given day and it’ll smell like dried semen and booze. Reason being, communications is the major for anyone who wants to graduate, but doesn’t want to stop getting totally wasted on weekdays. Here’s the bad news, if an employer is going to hire someone to help decipher how human beings communicate, he’s going to hire someone with the letters “Dr.” before their name, not the person who first checks to see if a class is offered online, then when they find out it’s not, let’s out a “gaaaaay bro.”

What Job You’ll End Up With: You’ll go to several job interviews that turn out to be pyramid schemes, even though at first you won’t realize this and come home and tell your parents, who you still live with, “They said I’ll probably be making six figures in less than a year just by selling these beer cozies.”

5. Dance

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Despite what “Dancing with the Stars” and “High School Musical” may tell you, there aren’t a lot of dancing jobs out there-so you better be good because there aren’t any gigs for mediocre dancers. Outside of New York City or some crap in LA there is absolutely nothing you can do with a dance degree that doesn’t involve actually dancing for money. And since the Des Moines interpretive dance movement hasn’t really taken off yet, you have a better chance landing a job as an 8-Track repairman or a member of the Beatles.

What Job You’ll End Up With: After moving to New York and trying out for Hello Dolly! or Damn Yankees or any of the other seven Broadway plays that want dancers and not landing a single one because you got your dance degree from Ball State, you will find ample opportunity to show off your choreographic skills at one of the city’s many strip clubs. You’ll just need to change your name to Crystal or Bambi and you’ll be able finally live out your dream as a dancer. (Mom and Dad will be so proud!)

4. English Lit

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: If someone can spend a weekend with a box of Cliff’s Notes and have only a slightly less conversational knowledge of what you spent 4 years studying, you probably don’t have the most employer friendly degree. Having an English Lit degree is like being a member of the Kansas City Royals: No one cares and the best you can hope for is every once in a while someone buys you a beer because of it.

What Job You’ll End Up With: You can read and comprehend, so that gives you an advantage over 99.5% of the people that peruse Craig’s list job listings. Therefore, you’ll most likely end up landing an entry level position at a random small company, or showing up to your interview and being raped repeatedly by a group of masked men.

3. Latin

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Not only does no one speak this language anymore, but we already have all the Latin that exists in the world. There’s no new Latin that’s hot off the presses that needs immediate translating. I’m no business major, but majoring in a language that doesn’t exist anymore doesn’t sound so good for job security. And I’m sorry to break the news to you, but the world doesn’t need someone to translate The Bible or the inscription on the side of a Post Office or El Loco Latino’s “Latin House Party.”

What Job You’ll End Up With: Since you majored in something that doesn’t exist, you’re going to have two jobs. Your first one will be as the annoying pretentious guy who gives everyone the Latin etymology of every big word he hears at every dinner party he attends. Your second, and most lucrative job, will be as a Subway Sandwich Artist.

2. Film

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: No one in hollywood gives a shit that you made a short film about an alcoholic albino that discovers the meaning of life through the help of a retarded child. Unless that retarded child was played by the son of Harvey Weinstein, your film or degree will be as pointless as the last three seasons of Lost

What Job You’ll End Up With: If you’re lucky, you’ll have an uncle who can get you a job as a production assistant on CSI Miami, where your time will be spent making coffee runs and finding whores that will let David Caruso pee on them.

1. Religion

Why It Won’t Help You Get a Job: Sorry God, but a major in Religion is about as worthless as St. Brice (The Patron Saint of Stomach Aches.) Even Duke University can’t put a solid sell on this degree: “A major in religion offers intellectual excitement and can be a pathway to a liberal education.” OK, you sold me. So now I get to shell out about a hundred thousand dollars so I can know what to wear to a Shinto ceremony and learn how many virgins Allah will give me if I blow myself up in an Israeli square? If it’s OK with you, I’ll keep my money and stick to my sinning-a-lot-now-and-repenting-on-my-deathbed plan.

What Job You’ll End Up With: This one is tricky. On one hand you’ll probably end up working behind the desk of a Christian Science Reading Room. But on the other, you may end up with everlasting peace and spiritual enlightenment. Let’s call it a draw.

25 Things I Learned About Business from “South Park”

Written by Amber Conrad

What the comedic cartoon can teach you about navigating the business world.


Over the last 12 years, the cartoon residents of South Park, Colo. have taught us about life, love, Canada, Saddam Hussein and yes … business. Here are 25 things that “South Park” has taught the world about making a buck.

  1. Use the Internet to go viral.

    In season 12’s “Canada on Strike” episode, the boys try to end the strike to get Terrance and Phillip back on the air. They decide to raise “Internet money” by posting a video on “YouToob” of Butters singing “What What in the Butt.” The video is a huge hit, and the boys are soon on their way to collecting their “Internet money.” The kids use the Internet and the resulting media coverage to get their cause out there, and by using these same resources, you too can introduce your business and its services to the world.

  2. Money is the cure for all that ails your business.
    The point of being in business is to make money. Sometimes, capitalism can also help advance the human race or make life better for everyone. In season 12’s “Tonsil Trouble,” Cartman gets HIV when he has his tonsils removed. He and Kyle go on a quest for the cure, and discover that fellow AIDS survivor Magic Johnson sleeps with stacks of money in his room. Believing that his constant proximity to cold, hard cash is the cure for AIDS., the boys learn that money really can cure everything. Maybe your business isn’t turning a profit because it needs more money.
  3. Get a ringer for the win.
    A ringer is a contestant who is entered in a competition under false pretenses — usually someone who looks like they are terrible at a sport or game they actually excel at. In the “Conjoined Fetus Lady” episode in season 2, Pip, normally picked on for his assumed French heritage and feminine ways, turns out to be the best player on South Park’s dodgeball team, helping the team earn a spot in the national championship.
    It goes to show that even sensitive-looking little boys can throw a mean ball. What does it all mean for your company? Go out and hire a mild-mannered star worker and start winning.
  4. Have a reliable work force and a stable customer base.
    In the season 2 epdisode “Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods,” the planetarium owner brainwashes kids to work at the learning center and also convinces the town’s people that they must go back to the center again and again. This episode teaches that it’s not important how a business secures employee and customer loyalty as log as it gets done.
  5. Protect the local wildlife for good PR.

    When the boys find the last two jackovasaurses in the “Jackovasaurs” episode from season 3, the town is visited by representatives of the Office of the Interior, who set up the pair with mating accommodations. Even though the jackovasaurses prove to be horribly annoying and largely useless to society, the episode teaches us that your business should go out of its way to appease the sensitivities of others — even if it’s inconvenient to do so.

  6. Provide neat stuff to people who need to validate themselves through consumerism.
    It’s a well-known fact that people with money want to spend it. Get them to give that expendable income to you and your business by providing them with cheap but trendy items for their collecting pleasure. It is important to stay ahead of the trends here, and that’s difficult when people still have free will. To get around this, the “Chinpokomon” episode from season 3 teaches us to market to children, who have their parents’ purse strings around their little fingers and cannot resist the latest must-haves.
  7. If what your business sells is scarce, people will pay more for it.
    In season 4’s quaintly named “Cherokee Hair Tampon” episode, Kyle finds out that he needs a kidney transplant, but the only donor is Cartman. Cartman offers his extra kidney to Kyle 
 for $10 million. Also in this episode, the town’s people are duped by a holistic woman who claims that her products are mystical and rare and that by buying them, the people will be able to help cure Kyle. So if your business provides items that are scarce, like a lifesaving organs or spiritual-healing trinkets, people will gladly pay large sums of money for them.
  8. Identify the competition.
    In “Helen Keller! The Musical” episode from season 4, the kids learn the importance of competition. The South Park kids are in fourth grade now and are putting on a play. They find out from Butters that the kindergartners have a better production, so they work hard to trick out their show to make it better. They even hire a specialist, a thespian from sophisticated Denver, who turns the whole production into a “Les MisĂ©rables” spoof. Their production is grand, and they beat the kindergartners. And even though it turns out not to matter, the kids still learn to work hard to beat out the competition 
 and to teach a mentally challenged turkey to jump through a fiery hoop.
  9. Create a buzz.
    Everyone in South Park tunes in to watch a television show that allegedly says a curse word during prime time. When the show gets press coverage, Kyle calls it for what it is — a marketing ploy designed to boost ratings. This season 5 episode, “It Hits The Fan,” teaches us that people will endure things that they do not normally enjoy just so that they can say they saw or did something controversial.
  10. Investors can help your startup dreams come true.
    Cartman’s grandmother leaves him $1 million dollars, which he promptly uses to buy his own amusement park in the “Cartmanland” episode from season five. At first, Cartman is convinced that his money has bought him happiness, but he soon sees that it isn’t the only thing that he needs to emotionally survive. That warm, fuzzy sentiment aside, Cartman shows us that with a big chunk of someone else’s money, you can buy property for your business and hire people to help run it.
  11. Never underestimate the little guys.
    In “The Entity” episode from season 5, Mr. Garrison gets tired of airline check-in lines and invents his own vehicle that is so amazing it soon becomes the preferred mode of travel for certain demographics. The airline companies start to go under, but the government steps in to save them. This episode also teaches another important lesson for those who are venturing into the business world: Sometimes, you can turn to the government for help and undeserved cash.
  12. Sponsorships and partnerships mean that people are giving you money.
    The boys discover that Jared from the Subway commercials has assistants — including a personal trainer and a dietitian — that helped him lose the weight. This prompts the boys to try to dupe the American public by doing the same thing with a local Chinese-food restaurant. In the episode “Jared Has Aides” from season 6, the boys make Butters gain weight so that they can get the restaurant to sponsor his weight loss by eating only their food. Basically, the lesson here is that sometimes you have to do uncomfortable things like stuff yourself with food then starve yourself to get money. But it’s still money.
  13. It is important to honor your contractual agreements.
    A very not “Lord of the Rings” movie gets delivered to Butters, and the boys are enlisted to get it back. The South Park characters all act out characters in this episode from season 6, titled “The Return of the Fellowship of the Rings to the Two Towers.” Stan’s parents told the kids to bring back the movie, and being of noble mind frames, the boys embark on their quest to return it. This episode teaches the value of honoring agreements and going above and beyond to fulfill obligations in business partnerships.
  14. Take risks.
    When the local Native American casino tries to buy the town of South Park in “Red Man’s Greed” from season 7, the kids come up with a plot to take their parents’ money and have them gamble it away to come up with the extra funding. The kids take their parents’ savings and bet on a long shot — just like you should sometimes do in business. Remember: to win big, you have to play big.
  15. Edge out the competition to get what you want.
    It’s Kyle’s birthday in “Casa Bonita” from season 7, and everyone is going to an awesome restaurant to celebrate. The problem is that Cartman isn’t invited. He takes issue with Kyle inviting Butters instead of him and decides to trick Butters into thinking that a meteor has hit Earth. He then gets Butters shipped off to the city dump, which Butters thinks is the post-destruction reality of the world. Meanwhile, Cartman goes to the restaurant while Butters freaks out among the trash.
  16. Research is the key to knowing your customers.
    In “AWESOM-O” from season 8, Cartman decides that he will dress up as a robot to learn Butters’ secrets so he can better make fun of him at school. He asks Butters to tell him his deepest darkest secrets, and Butters complies. By going undercover, Cartman learns more about his bullying target and can adjust his cruelty accordingly.
  17. Learn PR-management skills.
    South Park ’s mascot, the cow, has been called into question by a local PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) grou, in one episode from season 8. This prompts the school to change its mascot. Special-interest groups like PETA can sometimes challenge the ways in which a company does business. A lot. For instance, a special-interest could shut your company down because it feel like your business is doing something wrong — like misspelling a word in your sign or killing babies. But if your company properly manages these groups’ issues, it can come off looking like a community supporter without incurring a lot of business damage. The trick is to appeal to the middle ground, as the town does when it decides to take the mascot-change decision to a city vote, which makes the decision a public one without laying blame on the school district.
  18. It is good to embrace change.

    Sometimes in business, you have to shake up long-standing practices to make way for the new. In an episode from season 9, Mr. Garrison gets a sex change and feels like a new woman. Meanwhile, Kyle gets a race change so that he can play basketball. Both characters get what they want until the end of the episode, but the point is that by changing things up in their lives, they were able to step into a new persona (or in your business’s case, a new market).

  19. Recognize a good business opportunity.

    Hippies have infested South Park in “Die Hippie Die” from season 9, and Cartman sees this as an opportunity to help exterminate them for the good of the citizens — and a profit. You can relate Cartman’s business sense to your livelihood, except not literally, because spraying hippies with insecticide is kind of illegal.

  20. Stand up and fight for good employees who are going through hard times.
    It is important in the business world to have strong professional relationships with your employees. It is also important to remember that your employees are people too and that you should sometimes cut them some slack — especially when they decide to go on a sabbatical like Chef does in season 10. But in the time it takes to have a fake flashback, he’s returned to South Park in the episode “The Return of Chef.” However, Chef starts saying really odd things, and the boys find out that he’s been brainwashed. Instead of giving up on him, they get to the bottom of his troubles and eventually cure him. The boys didn’t give up on their favorite school employee, just like you shouldn’t give up on one of your hardworking team members.
  21. Sometimes you need outside experts to get things working properly.
    In season 10’s “Tsst,” (also known as “the dog-whisperer” episode), Cartman gets so out of hand that his mom hires a special nanny, who fails to correct his behavior. So Ms. Cartman hires another nanny, who also fails and ends up in a mental institution. Success occurs when Cartman’s mom brings in the dog whisperer, who treats Cartman so terribly that he runs away. So if you don’t know how to deal with a business obstacle, it might be time to call in an expert.
  22. Fight hostile takeovers to the bitter end if you want to keep your company intact.
    Mrs. Garrison’s favorite bar is being threatened to be shut down by a Persian group who wants to turn it into a dance club in “D-Yikes!” from season 11. The bar patrons appeal to the mayor and also look to blackmail as a means to their ends. The customers fight to keep their group together, just like you should fight to keep your company intact when faced with dance-club owners or corporate pirates — whichever comes first.
  23. The government can help you stick it to your competitors.

    During the “Imaginationland” episodes in season 11, Cartman goes all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court to settle a bet between him and Kyle. By using the legal system to settle their differences, the boys avoid unprofessional behavior, which teaches us all to opt for costly lawyers — not hit men — to resolve issues.

  24. Get big names in on your venture to attract starstruck customers.
    Season 1 also gave us “Damien,” in which the son of Satan comes back as a fourth grader, causing Jesus and Satan to duke it out in the ultimate pay-per-view event. Lots of money comes in when people want to see the stars of good and evil go at it on live TV for only $49.95. After all, no one can miss the “final apocalyptic battle between good and evil.” What would they talk about the next week at the watercooler?
  25. Impress your audience.
    In season 1’s “Weight Gain 4000,” Kathie Lee Gifford comes to town to give Cartman an award for writing an environmental essay. Mr. Garrison has a flashback about how Kathie Lee ruined his life by winning over the judges at an elementary-school talent show. After Mr. Garrison’s little grade-school self looses to Kathie Lee, he sulks “It wasn’t fair; she had choreography.”

9 Mind Blowing Flash Animations

Written by R J Evans

How Do They Do That? Flash animation still represents the cutting edge of internet animation. Here are 9 of the best on the net at the moment.

Whether you are new to flash or a seasoned professional, these sites will make you sit back in wonder:

1. Bird on a Journey

A little bird flies on his way home to his lady, avoiding some pitfalls on the way. This brilliant animation combines drawing and photography to stunning effect, together with a weird and wonderful soundtrack.

2. Drum Machine

If you love oriental music – and drums – then you will love this animation. Seven Japanese drummers deliver the goods in this beautifully constructed piece of Flash. The skill and time that went in to this beggars belief!

3. Online Shopping

Be patient with this one. At first glance it looks like just another website that offers you household goods to buy. But hold on a second – didn’t that mug on special offer just fall over! That’s just the beginning of the fun – a joy to watch!

4. Icon War

These desktop icons decide that they don’t like each other any more. War breaks out! Who will be the ultimate winner as icon fights icon! Oh, the humanity! Extremely entertaining flash animation.

5. Kaleidoscope

This is an amazing pattern generating piece of flash animation. You can choose from lots of different varieties and the patterning effect follows your mouse around in a myriad of colors and shapes. Inspirational!

6. Silhouette Sounds

A single silhouette becomes several then becomes many, with each producing a different sound to produce a tune. Fantastic black and white animation that is eye catching and very, very different!

7. Doorway

All the guy wants to do is get through the door! Unfortunately, there are lots of things that do not wish to grant him passage. Superb European style flash animation you will want to watch again and again.

8. Falling Dude

Superbly irritating but extremely watchable, this animation has a roughly drawn boy falling, and falling – oh, and then falling some more! You will love it!

9. Jackson Pollock

Ever seen a Jackson Pollock painting and thought “I can do that!” Well, here is your chance! Let your mouse do the walking as you produce works of art that the Saatchis will be after in no time at all!

150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever

Written by Jacob Share

People write the strangest things on their resumes, sometimes downright hysterical. Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? The Top 10 are at the bottom. Enjoy!
Insert Brain Here

From Resume Hell:

  1. “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
  2. “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”
  3. Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
  4. “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
  5. Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c”
  6. “Job involved
counselling clientele on accidental insurance policies available”
  7. “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people”
  8. “I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
  9. “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
  10. “Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with”
  11. “I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force. My school advised me to fix my punctuality
”

From Careerbuilder.ca’s 10 Wackiest Resume Blunders:

  1. Candidate included a letter from his mother.
  2. Candidate stated the ability to persuade people sexually using her words.
  3. Candidate wrote rĂ©sumĂ© as a play – Act 1, Act 2, etc.
  4. Candidate included naked picture of himself.

From Amy Joyce on Resume Bloopers:

  1. “Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”
  2. Woman who sent her rĂ©sumĂ© and cover letter without deleting someone else’s editing, including such comments as “I don’t think you want to say this about yourself here”

From Ask Annie’s article about resume blunders:

  1. “an applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume”
  2. Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
  3. “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
  4. Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
  5. Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
  6. A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume
  7. Hobbies: “Drugs and girls”.
  8. Under “job related skills” – for a web designer – “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
  9. My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.
  10. The objective on one recent resume I received stated that the applicant wished to pursue a challenging account executive position with our rival firm.
  11. Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
  12. Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
  13. “I am great with the pubic.”
  14. A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
  15. The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application.
  16. One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.
  17. “
sent out my resume on the back side of a draft of a cover letter to another firm
”
  18. “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
  19. One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn’t like dealing with blood or needles.
  20. Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
  21. I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the first page. The picture was of a lion’s head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie.
  22. a resume
 was printed on the back of the person’s current employer’s letterhead.
  23. One resume that came across my desk stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.
  24. A resume
 had several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate on it
  25. Hobbies: “Having a good time”

From Careerbuilder.com’s Top 12 Wackiest Resume Blunders:

  1. Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months.
  2. Candidate’s hobbies included sitting on the levee at night watching alligators.
  3. Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.”
  4. Candidate included family medical history.

From Mainejobs.com’s Avoid These Resume Bloopers:

  1. “nine-page cover letter accompanied by a four-page rĂ©sumĂ©”
  2. “One applicant tried to make an impression by using four different fonts, three ink colors and a variety of highlighting options on her rĂ©sumĂ©”

From ResumePower.com’s Ten Classic Resume Bloopers:

  1. “Revolved customer problems and inquiries.”
  2. “Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.”
  3. “Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.”
  4. “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.”

From HotJobs’ Real-life Resume Blunders to Avoid:

  1. “I often use a laptap.”
  2. “Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds.”
  3. “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.”

From Fortune Magazine via HumorMatters.com:

  1. “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
  2. “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
  3. “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
  4. “Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
  5. “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.”
  6. “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
  7. “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
  8. “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
  9. “You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.”
  10. “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
  11. “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
  12. “Marital status: often. Children: various.”
  13. “I am loyal to my employer at all costs..Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.”
  14. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”

From Resumania’s Archive:

  1. Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.”
  2. Interests: “Gossiping.”
  3. Favorite Activities: “Playing trivia games. I am a repository of worthless knowledge.”
  4. Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.”
  5. Employer: ” Myself; received pay raise for high sales.”
  6. Objective: “I want to play a major part in watching a company advance.”
  7. Experience: “Chapter president, 1887-1992.”
  8. Experience: “Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.”
  9. Experience: “I’m a hard worker, etc.”
  10. Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”
  11. Reason for leaving: “I thought the world was coming to an end.”
  12. Additional skills: “I am a Notary Republic.”
  13. Objective: “So one of the main things for me is, as the movie ‘Jerry McGuire’ puts it, ‘Show me the money!'”
  14. Skills: “I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.”
  15. Objective: “To hopefully associate with a millionaire one day.”
  16. Skills: “I have technical skills that will take your breath away.”
  17. Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
  18. Objective: “I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entrĂ©e consisting of more than soup.”
  19. Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
  20. Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
  21. Skills: “Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years.”
  22. Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”
  23. Education: “I possess a moderate educatin but willing to learn more.”
  24. Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”
  25. Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”
  26. Salary desired: “Starting over due to recent bankruptcies. Need large bonus when starting job.”
  27. Bad traits: “I am very bad about time and don’t mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn’t make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.”
  28. References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
  29. Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Strong emphasis on customer relations – a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.”
  30. Personal: “I limit important relationships to people who want to do what I want them to do.”
  31. Objective: “Student today. Vice president tomarrow.”
  32. Accomplishments: “Brought in a balloon artist to entertain the team.”
  33. Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”
  34. Achievements: “First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth, 1982.”
  35. Reason for leaving: “Pushed aside so the vice president’s girlfriend could steal my job.”
  36. Special skills: “I’ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings.”
  37. Reason for leaving last job: “Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.”
  38. Experience: “Any interruption in employment is due to being unemployed.”
  39. Objective: “To become Overlord of the Galaxy!”
  40. Objective: “What I’m looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.”
  41. Hobbies: “Mushroom hunting.”
  42. Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.”
  43. Objective: “My dream job would be as a professional baseball player, but since I can’t do that, I’ll settle on being an accountant.”
  44. Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
  45. Heading on stationery: “I’d Break Mom’s Heart to Work For You!”
  46. “I am a ‘neat nut’ with a reputation for being hardnosed. I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.”
  47. Experience: “Provide Custer Service.”
  48. Experience: “I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around.”
  49. Strengths: “Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.”
  50. Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”
  51. Work experience: “Maintained files and reports, did data processing, cashed employees’ paychecks.”
  52. Educational background: “Highschool was a incredible experience.”
  53. Resume: “A great management team that has patents with its workers.”
  54. Cover letter: “Experienced in all faucets of accounting.”
  55. Objective: “I am anxious to use my exiting skills.”
  56. Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”
  57. Job duties: “Filing, billing, printing and coping.”
  58. Application: “Q: In what local areas do you prefer to work? A: Smoking.”
  59. Reason for leaving: “Terminated after saying, ‘It would be a blessing to be fired.'”
  60. Personal: “My family is willing to relocate. However not to New England (too cold) and not to Southern California (earthquakes). Indianapolis or Chicago would be fine. My youngest prefers Orlando’s proximity to Disney World.”
  61. Resume: “I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise (I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.”
  62. Resume: “Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.”
  63. Qualifications: “I have extensive experience with foreign accents.”
  64. “I am fully aware of the king of attention this position requires.”
  65. References: “Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.”
  66. “Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant.”
  67. Accomplishments: “My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had.”
  68. Career: “I have worked with restraints for the past two years.”
  69. Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”
  70. Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”

JobMob Top 10

  1. Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? “A: 3 stories.” (Resumania)
  2. A resume listed a skill as “being bi-lingual in three languages” (Ask Annie’s)
  3. Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).” (Resumania)
  4. In the section that read “Emergency Contact Number” she wrote “911.” (Ask Annie’s)
  5. Candidate drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager’s gift. (Careerbuilder.com)
  6. Languages: “Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.” (Resumania)
  7. “Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.” (ResumePower.com)
  8. On one of our applications, a girl wrote ” I’m 16, I’m pregnant and I can do anything.” At the same time she turned in her application, her boyfriend handed in his. On his: “Felony for breaking and entering.” (Ask Annie’s)
  9. “One candidate included clipart on their resume of two cartoons shaking hands.” (Ask Annie’s)
  10. Application: “On the line that asked what “sex” he was, he wrote “occassionally”.” (Ask Annie’s)

This article is part of Litemind’s Lists Group Writing Project.

30 Upcoming Movie Sequels You Didn’t Know About

Written by Simon Brew

I Am Legend 2: now entering development hell..

We’ve spent days of our lives scouring the world for news of sequels that you may not have heard of. And here are 30 films in various states of production…

Will Smith in I Am Legend The domination of sequels in the big summer and winter schedules continues, and if the following – in particular order – is anything to go by, it’s going to carry on for many years to come…

The Brazilian Job: the follow up to Paramount’s US remake of The Italian Job is still on the cards, and it’s got a 2009 release date marked. Jason Statham, Mos Def, Mark Wahlberg and Charlize Theron are attached, as is director F Gary Gray.

I, Robot 2: All we know on this one is that it’s in the scripting stages still, with a potential 2010 release date planned in. No news on Mr Smith’s involvement.

I Am Legend 2:
Warner’s huge Christmas 2007 hit could also have a follow up, although it’d be interesting to see if Will Smith returned to it. A 2010 release date is also being mooted for this one. Director Matt Reeves said that a sequel could follow the same disaster scenario from the point of view of other moviemakers in New York that night.

Beverly Hills Cop 4: If Die Hard can still do it at the box office, why can’t Axel Foley? Er, because the third BHC movie was crap, and a flop. Still, it’s not stopped development work going ahead on number four. No further news than that, though.

National Treasure 3:
Not a huge surprise, but as the Nic Cage Indiana Jones knock off franchise has proved to be quite a juggernaut, you’ll only have to wait until 2011 for the third film in the series.

Cars 2: We spotted this on AintItCool – is Pixar really looking to make a sequel to its weakest film? Apparently so


Toy Story 3: This one, after lots of umming and ahhing, appears to be a goer. It won’t, as was speculated, be a straight-to-DVD affair, and Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are both expected back on voicing duties. It’ll be out in 2010.

Jeepers Creepers 3: MGM is running the rule over a potential third instalment in the horror franchise, with director Victor Salva still attached. Hmmm.

Shrek 5:
The fourth film was a no-brainer after the tepid third outing made so much cash. But a fifth instalment has also been confirmed. No wonder Shrek is the same colour as an American dollar


Night at the Museum 2:
Ben Stiller is returning for his most commercially successful role outside of the Meet the Parents franchise. We can wait. No news on the proposed Meet The Little Focker, though.

Crank 2: High Voltage: This is more like it. Crank is a guilty pleasure right up there with Snakes on a Plane, and it’s coming back for more. Shooting starts next month, for a 2009 release, and Jason Statham returns as Chev Chelios. As he should.

Transporter 3: Statham again. He’s making this too, and it’s in pre-production. Presumably, he’ll go from Crank 2 straight onto this.

Super Troopers 2: A sequel nobody asked for! Hurray! Expect it in 2010, as it’s in the early writing stages still, we believe.

Silent Hill 2: Sony is looking at a follow up to the crap-but-popular video game adaptation. 2010 is the current slated release date.

The Descent 2: We understand that Neil Marshall won’t be directed this one, which has the, er, working title of The De2cent. He’s attached as Executive Producer, with Jon Harris stepping behind the camera (he edited the first film, as well as the more recent Stardust).

The Grudge 3: Yup, it’s in pre-production now, for release next year. That’ll likely be the scariest thing about it.

Ice Age 3: 1st July 2009. That’s the date you’ll need to avoid if you want to miss the next Ice Age movie. Hopefully it’ll be better than the second one


Ghost Rider 2:
A surprise hit last year, Marvel is developing a follow-up to the Nic Cage comic book flick, and tentatively has 2009 marked for release. No director is thus far attached.

The Untouchables: Capone Rising: A prequel to Brian De Palma’s cracking prohibition thriller of, er, twenty years ago. De Palma is back behind the camera, and the project is in the pre-production stages now.

The Thomas Crown Affair 2:
Weird, this. It’s taken them ages to do a sequel, and then they draft in Paul Verhoeven to direct a follow-up to someone else’s film. Pierce Brosnan returns, and filming starts shortly.

The People Under The Stairs 2:
No sign of any Wes Craven involvement, though, and release may even be this year. Hmmm. We’d wager DVD will be its home.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: Er, that’s what they’ve called The Mummy 3, which is out on 1st August. Brendan Fraser and Jet Li star.

Punisher: War Zone:
Ray Stevenson becomes the third person to play The Punisher on screen. You’ll be able to find out how he did on 12th September this year.

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder: Casper Van Diem is back, but it’s still going straight to DVD, as the piss-awful second film did. It’s due out later this year.

Pink Panther 2: Oh dear. And I’m a Steve Martin fan. It’s out on 13th February 2009.

Ace Ventura 3: No Jim Carrey though, and no chance of it seeing the inside of a cinema. Head to Blockbuster later in the year if you want to catch it.

War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave: Another straight to DVD sequel, but this one’s of note because it’s directed by Soul Man/Hitcher star C Thomas Howell. Blimey.

Jurassic Park 4: It’s taken them ages to sort this out, but the latest is that Laura Dern is still attached, and that it’ll be released in 2009. Don’t hold your breath though, as shooting would need to start really very soon…

Scary Movie 5/Saw 5: You could have guessed at these if you didn’t know about them already. Both should see the light before the end of the year. Sadly.

Put your thoughts in the Comments box, and let us know if you want more lists of this ilk in the future…!

Desktop Wallpaper Calendar: June 2008

Written by Smashing Magazine

Notice:Please copy the wallpaper’s url and open it from the address bar when you see forbidden access.

Desktop wallpapers can serve as an excellent source of inspiration. However, if you use some specific wallpaper for a
long period of time, it becomes harder to draw inspiration out of it. That’s why we have decided to supply you with smashing
wallpapers over 12 months.

And to make them a little bit more distinctive from the usual crowd, we’ve decided to embed calendars for the
upcoming month. So if you need to look up some date, isn’t it better to show off a nice wallpaper with a nice calendar instead of
launching some default time application?

This post features 14 free desktop wallpapers, designed by 14 designers across the globe. Both versions with a calendar
and without a calendar can be downloaded for free.

Please notice:

  • all images can be clicked and lead to the preview of the wallpaper;
  • you can feature your work in our
    magazine
    by taking part in our desktop wallpaper calendar series. We are regularly looking for creative designers and artists to be
    featured on Smashing Magazine. Are you one of them?

So what wallpapers have we received for May?

Whale

Available in 12 desktop resolutions – both widescreen and fullscreen. Designed by Vlad
Gerasimov
from Irkutsk, Russia.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Stay Creative

"The wallpaper is an illustration based on this Picasso quote: "All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an
artist once he grows up". In the illustration, the adult is looking through the wall at his creativity from childhood trying to get
it back." Designed by Tim Newton from USA.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Tribute

"This design is a personal interpretation of June in Macedonia: beautiful sunny days, red poppy fields and Nikola Madzirov’s poetry. A personal tribute to all the beauty in
this world. Girl image inspired by Banksy." Designed by Meri Donevska-Kosturanova from
Macedonia.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Eternal Sunshine

"Designed completely in Photoshop. My idea to this timetable was based on the prophecy and Maya, all that power and magic secret
that there are only in the pyramids in Mexico." Designed by Miguel Angel
Lozada
from Mexico.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

You Slag

"Looking forward to another hectic summer in Brighton
" Designed by Mark Hurrell.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Rhino

"I suppose that I got influenced by the works of Scott Hansen. I just love the retro feel in his designs.
Furthermore I used brushes which were meant to emulate the effects of James White. I wanted to have these different sections which form
an entity, sort of like when you look through a window and the frame is hiding parts of what is behind. The origami rhinoceros was the
last element I inserted and finally gave rise to the title.

The final design is not what I had sketched out but it never is for me. I need a basic idea and then just play around until I’m
happy with it." Designed by Franz Jeitz from Luxembourg.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Nec scire fas est omnia

"It is impossible to know everything" horaz – well true, but not to worry as I learned in life and business, it is
better to know a lot of educated people from different disciplines, then you’ll know a lot yourself. And in the end, there is always
Google and Wikipedia." Designed by Dirk Worring from Krefeld, Germany.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Daydream

"I love daydream, when I fall in the daydream,everything is strange, it’s a surrealistic world. Everything has their own soul
and live in the unique way, no pain, no goal, just enjoy the imagination." Designed by Dan Chetao.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Umbrella

"Umbrella, sky, lights
..and the girl is so pretty!" Designed by Cléo Morgause
from Brazil.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Retro Summer

"Well, June it is the month where the summer starts, and when i think in Summer, i think about California and the Beach Boys, and
when i think in that, i start to think about retro stuff, and then retro design!" Designed by Bleed from Mexico.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

The DJ

"The wallpaper isn’t created only for DJ-fans or people who’ve seen DJ’s at work. The wallpaper can really give a warm
feeling to everyones desktop. And after all, aren’t we all DJ’s of our lives?" Designed by Vincent Vander Cruyssen from Belgium.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

June Feelings

"Tried to catch the feeling of getting "wings" in the starting of the summer." Designed by Olariu Alex from Romania.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

June Bug

"This inspiration came when we heard that the Cicadas are coming again this summer. And although not of the cicada family, Junebugs
can be nearly as annoyingly creepy. The design incorporate a visual pun on the back of the ‘creature’, as well as a near
subliminal ghoul face up above within the darkness." Designed by Michael Langham.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Date and Time

Designed by Grikshmi Manandhar from Nepal.

Smashing Wallpaper - June 2008

Join in next month!

Please notice that we respect the ideas and motivation behind artists’ work which is why we’ve given artists full
freedom to explore their creativity
and express emotions and experience through their works. And this is also why the themes of
the wallpapers weren’t anyhow influenced by us, but designed from scratch by the artists themselves.

Thanks to all designers for participation. Hopefully, in June we’ll receive as many entries as in May. Join in next month and
smashing June, folks!

Things You Can Learn About Women from Sex And The City

Written by Whaledawg

Do you hear that? A vortex of suck that hungers for your soul. It can only be one thing, the new Sex and The City movie is coming and your girlfriend is already making plans for the two of you to go in spite of your pleas that you don’t like it, don’t want to see it and want to keep your last shred of dignity. But let’s not be so close-minded about the whole thing.

Of course, it’s going to be a terrible movie; it’s based on the awful TV show. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t get anything from the experience. Look at it like this: this show is beloved by millions of women. It appeals to their basest nature in a way even they don’t understand. If you’ve ever watched a group of drunk, 20-something year old women falling down in the street screaming at each other ‘no, I’m the Carrie,’ you know what I’m talking about.

Sex and The City

So think of this movie not as 2 hours of material porn for women, but something you can use. A window into a woman’s mind they wouldn’t dare say out loud to us. With that in mind, I present the primer 5 Things You Could Learn About Women from Sex And The City:

1) NYC is a fantasy land for women. It’s like the Playboy Mansion for us. New York is a magical place filled with shopping, art galleries and copious amounts of flavored vodka. A place where women who hate trees and driving, can live in peace.

If you don’t believe me, watch every episode in which they left NY. They go to the Hamptons and one of their friend’s husbands tries to start an affair. They go to the beach and drunks invade their house. Hell, when they go to the woods they’re assaulted by the overwhelming quiet.

But what’s so great about NY? Why does the show demonize life outside it so much? Because the SATC girls are all about name brands and NY is the biggest name in cities. Living in a 1-room box in Brooklyn still has cachĂ©. It’s like having a cast off $1000 Prada bag; it’s still a Prada.

2) Women Love Money. Every chick on that show was banking and every guy they dated had even more money. Carrie’s relationships in which the guy didn’t own whole buildings in NY, a place where an apartment is 700-grand, were doomed to failure. Why did these women need so much money? They weren’t taking care of children or saving for retirement.

Because if they saw something they liked, they bought it with the justification “you deserve it.” Alternately, if they couldn’t afford something, they must not deserve it. That means if your boyfriend can’t afford to buy you thousands of dollars in jewelry or fly you to Paris on a whim, you must not deserve it. Scary when you think about it.

Even scarier, which one of them didn’t get a guy with money? The bitch. Men accept that if they don’t go to college and get a good job they’ll end up with a less attractive woman, but how about having to spend the rest of your life strapped to the biggest bitch in the group? If that doesn’t scare high school males into studying, nothing will. Put that message on an SAT prep book cover and you’ll raise scores instantly.

3) Women don’t do stuff together. They talk and they shop, but they don’t do anything. This is why they get so mad when we want to do something with the guys. To women, couples do things and friends talk. Time we spend doing stuff with the guys is time they spend doing nothing – unless they can find a friend to talk with, although, they’re still really doing nothing.

This is also why single women are so blindingly unhappy. It’s not that being alone is so awful. It’s that they’re bored out of their skulls because they need a guy to do something with.

4) Women talk about everything. EVERYTHING! They talk in so much detail that her friends may spend 5 years referring to you by your anatomical distinctions instead of your proper name. If you’re lucky, it’s “Mr. Big.” What’s scary is they talk about more than sex; if you’re mother gives you a bath her friends will hear about it. Yeah, think about that for a second.

How much do you want her friends to know about you? Illegal activities? Money problems? Personal issues? You have to control the flow of information to your girlfriend to control the flow of information to them. All things considered, her friends knowing that you cry when you have an orgasm is relatively minor.

5) Women be crazy. Again this is a no brainer to us, but they actually did a whole lesbian storyline on SATC just to illustrate how crazy women are. That means they know it too.

Use that to your advantage. She knows she’s being irrational, so be the rational one. When she’s freaking out over something small, sit there calmly until she’s done. Tip: Don’t tell her she’s being irrational. That’s not being rational; it’s being superior. Wait for her to let it all out. Women like it when you keep your head in the face of their meltdown. If you’re lucky, anger turns to tears and tears turn to post-traumatic crazy sex. See, you can learn some useful stuff from SATC.

So there you have it. Not reason enough to go see the Sex and the City movie on your own, but reason enough to tolerate it if you’re forced to go. View it all as an experiment, a sacrifice for science, if you will. You can make the best of a bad situation. And man, is that movie going to be a bad situation.

25 Ways You Might Be Sabotaging Your Own Job Search

Written by Anthony Balderrama

art.job.search.pd.jpg

When you’re job hunting, you can go mad if you think about the amount of factors beyond your control that affect your chances of getting hired.

The economy, your location, industry trends — even the hiring manager’s mood — can influence whether or not you get a job.

Still, as nice as it would be to blame your lack of offers on external factors, you can’t forget that common denominator in your job hunt — from the rĂ©sumĂ© to the interview — is you.

Here are 25 ways you might be unknowingly sabotaging your own job search:

The first steps

1. Not keeping track of your accomplishments

When you’re happy with your job, it’s easy to forget about possible future job hunts. You never know when you’ll end up looking for new work, and if you don’t keep a running list of awards, promotions and accomplishments, you might not remember them when it’s time to update your rĂ©sumĂ©.

2. Leaving on a bad note

As much fun as it is to fantasize about telling off a bad boss, don’t actually do it. Leaving a trail of angry bosses or co-workers will come back to haunt you when you need references.

3. Not networking

If you’re silent about your job search, your friends, family and colleagues won’t think of you when they hear about job opportunities.

4. Only using the Internet

Online job boards are fantastic resources, but you need to do some footwork if you want to increase your chances of finding a job. Contact companies whom you’d like to work for, even if there are no job listings. Not all companies advertise openings online.

5. Only searching for the perfect job

Yes, your job search should be focused. After all, applying to every job posting that comes your way is a good way to waste time but not an effective way to find a job you want. However, if you approach your job hunt unwilling to accept anything less than the precise job title, pay, vacation time and hours you want, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

The résumé and cover letter

6. Writing a generic cover letter

If your cover letter looks like it could have come from a word processor template, right down to the “To Whom It May Concern,” don’t bother sending it. Hiring managers look for a candidate who wants that specific position, not someone who sends out applications en masse. Write a new cover letter for each job application and include details specific to that company.

7. Typos

Sending a cover letter or rĂ©sumĂ© filled with grammatical mistakes and typographical errors shows hiring managers you don’t care about the quality of your work and probably not about the job, either.

8. Including your current work info as the best place to contact you

Making sure employers can get in touch with you is important, but they shouldn’t be contacting you at work. “Potential employers are going to question if these people will search for a new job on their time,” says Kathy Sweeney, rĂ©sumĂ© writer for the Write RĂ©sumĂ©.

9. Focusing on yourself and not on the company in the cover letter

“When ‘I’ is the predominant subject — and there are times when it is the only subject of all the sentences in the cover letter — it indicates to me that they don’t understand my organization and its needs, and, in fact, says they don’t care to know,” says Dion McInnis, associate vice president for university advancement at University of Houston-Clear Lake. “And therefore, I don’t care to know them.”

10. Not targeting your résumé to the position

Just like the cover letter, your rĂ©sumĂ© should build a case for you to be hired for a specific position. If you’re applying for a financial analyst position, don’t waste space including your teenage stint as a lifeguard.

The interview

11. Showing up late

Nobody likes to be kept waiting, especially hiring managers evaluating whether or not you would make a good employee.

12. Dressing for the wrong job

Your interview attire should match the dress code of the company, or be one step up. If the office dress code is business casual, wearing jeans and a t-shirt won’t work in your favor. On the other hand, if you’re told dress is casual, you’ll stick out if you show up wearing a double-breasted suit.

13. Not asking questions

When the interview comes to a close, the hiring manager will undoubtedly ask if you have any questions for him or her. Not asking anything is the equivalent of saying, “I don’t care all that much about the job.”

14. Badmouthing a former boss

When you talk to hiring managers about a previous employer, you’re also talking about them. The way you talk about a previous employer is how interviewers think you’ll talk about them in the future, so keep it civil.

15. Not paying attention

Another way to show you don’t care much about the job is to get distracted. Answering your phone, sending texts or digging through your bag tells the interviewer that your focus is anywhere except on the interview.

16. Not researching the position

Your chief objective in an interview is convincing the hiring manager you’re the best candidate for the job. How can you prove your qualifications if you don’t have an idea of what skills you’re expected to have and what your responsibilities will be?

17. Not researching the company

Employers want to know that your motivation for work is more than a paycheck. If you demonstrate that you know something about the company’s history, its goals and its culture, you prove you want to be a part of the company.

18. Forgetting common etiquette

Don’t cuss, chew gum, burp, take off your shoes, forget to shower or do anything else that’s not appropriate in a business setting. Don’t give the interviewer a reason not to hire you.

19. Forgetting you’re being interviewed from the moment you walk in

Just because you’re not sitting down at a desk across from the hiring manager, don’t think you’re not being evaluated. For example, employers will often ask their receptionists if you were nice them. Even if your interview involves lunch or dinner, you’re trying to get a job, not show off your ability to down tequila shots.

20. Bringing up salary too soon

A rule of thumb is that you should never bring up pay; let the hiring manager do it. Of course employers are aware that you want to know about the salary, so they will bring it up when the time is right. Appearing too concerned with money suggests you aren’t passionate about the position or the company.

After the interview

21. Not sending a thank-you note

Interview etiquette extends beyond the goodbye hand-shake. Follow up with the interviewer by sending a thank-you note, either by e-mail or in the mail. Not only is it standard business practice, it’s also common courtesy.

22. Being over-aggressive in follow-up

Thanking the hiring manager for the interview is acceptable. You can even check in to see if a candidate’s been hired if you were given a deadline for the decision. However, calling, e-mail or stopping by the office repeatedly is not persistent; it’s annoying.

23. Not learning from your mistakes

Not every interview goes off without a hitch, so don’t beat yourself up if you flubbed an answer or two. However, if you don’t take the time to review each interview you go on, you’re bound to repeat the same mistakes again and again.

24. Forgetting where you’ve applied and interviewed

After a few weeks, you’ve applied at more than dozen places and probably interviewed with a few companies. Eventually it’s harder to remember where you’ve sent a rĂ©sumĂ© or interviewed, and applying to the same place makes you look like an applicant who applies to any posting that pops up, not the best fit.

25. Stopping your job search while you wait for a response

Even if your interview for the job of a lifetime went well, don’t freeze your job hunt while you wait to hear back. For a variety of reasons you might not get the job, or you might stumble upon an even better opportunity. You don’t have anything to lose by continuing the hunt.

14 Creative Advertisements

Written by Toxel

Denver Water

Check out these creative and unique advertisements from around the world:

3M Security Glass Advertisement

3M was so sure their Security Glass was unbreakable, they put a large stack of cash behind it and shoved it in a bus stop. [gizmodo]

3M Security Glass Advertisement

Radiant Gym “Running” Advertisement

Obesity finds it hardest to catch up with those who are running. [lemonflip]

Radiant Gym Running Ad

YKM Bag Advertisement

YKM Bag Advertisement

Where’s your child?

Where is your child

Canon Bus Advertisement

Canon Bus Ad

Premiere “Spiderman” Advertisement

Your TV program takes a break when you do.
Personal digital TV with delayed viewing. [adsoftheworld]

Premiere: Spiderman Ad

Creative Adidas Advertisement

Creative Adidas Ad

Funeral Services Advertisement

Funeral Services Advertisement

Stop’n Grow Bag Advertisement

German product that stops nail biting. [flickr]

Stop n Grow Advertising Bag

Denver Water Advertisement

Use Only What You Need.

Denver Water

Sharpie Permanent Markers Advertisement

Sharpie Permanent Markers Ad

Samsung “Express Yourself” Advertisement

Samsung Express Yourself Advertisement

“Reserved for Drunk Drivers” Advertisement

Do NOT Drink and Drive

Dettol Instant Hand Sanitizer Advertisement

Dettol Instant Hand Sanitizer

30 Beautiful And Original Product Designs

Written by Smashing Magazine

Successful product design manages to reveal useful functionality beyond its appealing form. No matter how excellent a design looks like, most customers aren’t likely to spend money on something they won’t be able to use. On the other hand, most people are likely to buy something useful despite the design it has.

Yet the key to a truly successful product design lies in designer’s ability to combine both beautiful design and functionality making it obvious to the customers how the product can be used and which benefits it delivers. However, one can combine the beauty of design with the utility it is supposed to provide.

Most products fail to pass this test and never reach the production stage; some products do manage to get to the stores. In the overview below you’ll find an overview of some beautiful and original product designs which will hopefully make the cut and will be available in the next years. Some of them are already available today.

Way Out Fridge Magnet

Way Out Fridge Magnet
Way Out magnet is an original imitation of the standard exit sign illustrating a run to the fridge for a midnight snack. We, however, are not sure why this sign should actually be placed on the fridge.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Bracelet Watch

Bracelet Watch
The idea for this watch is classic plastic bracelet, with incorporated lines inside the watch that show the current time. Those three lines are rotating around the watch and show the time, while the seconds line is going around all the time. It is a simple concept, atractive and eye-catching. Adjusting the clock is easy as the watch is the touchscreen. All you have to do is to touche the line, click the adjust icon and slide current time line to correct time. Design by Djordje Zivanovic.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Made in China

Made in China
This product targets the entire 1.3 billion Chinese population. Each aspect of the hardware derives from an oriental inspiration which improves the PC experience for the targeted market. The hardware features a “No CPU, No Hard drive, No Graphics Card and No Sound Card” concept. These PC components are stored in a Service Provider of the new infrastructure.

Thus, subscribing to a plan of the Service Provider will allow the use of these components. The data from the components is then wirelessly transmitted to the user’s hardware. Thus, all PCs are administered by the Service Provider. MADE stands for Massively Administered Digital Entities.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

MARRO computer system

MARRO computer system
This computer system analyzes, organizes, and customizes daily media activities. It is comprised of a stationary central unit and a separate mobile satellite unit. The central unit contains components such as the media card, CPU, drives and network card. The satellite unit houses the built-in Life OS, CPU, and flash memory.

Compared to the typical OS, which are limited to the resources and hardware of their physical location, the Life OS operates digital files and electronic devices that we use day to day. The MARRO ring records users’ daily media activities within the life system, constantly learning life patterns and making suggested improvements.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

External Touch Screen Concept

External Touch Screen Concept
Wouldn’t it be nice if you had an external touch screen that works as a keyboard, macbook cover and a photo/movie stand?

Creative Product Designs

DDM PC

DDM PC
This concept is supposed to be “integrated device for all” that is easy to use. The “DDM” is normally used as a typical LCD display for a powerful desktop CPU yet can be detached from the main body. In this detached form, the DDM acts much like the desktop PC yet supports portability. In this way, multiple DDM’s can be taken away from the main CPU and used separately. When placed back in the CPU cradle, each unit automatically syncs the its data with the local machine’s database offering one-step, seemless back-up and sharability.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Concrete Art

Concrete Art
“Concrete Art” is a beautiful way to enhance any room with pretty much any design you can think of. Contrasting the cold austerity of concrete, these floral designs are a great way to enhance any room. This design concept allows for the application of any pattern to the surface, either when pouring or afterwards when the concrete has set.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Action Method

Action Method
The “Action Runner” includes standard 3? x 5? sheet (when ripped), and keeps you focused on Action Steps with the elegance of the silky and sexy covers and blended paper. This ultra matt finish is spiced up with an ultra glossy UV varnish.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Slice Computing System

Slice Computing System
The ‘Slice’ concept is an organically inspired computing system which envisions a new approach to accessing, organizing and interacting with information and data stored on the PC. Current file management systems force users to store and manage files in a hierarchy of folders. The files are buried deep within folders providing no visual indication of where files are located, further adding to the confusion.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Slice brings the information out of the computer putting it into the users hand. By physically interacting with the slice, users can organize and place files accordingly. Each of the slices visually represent different folders seen in current operating software such as My Documents, My Music, My Videos, etc. The visual and touch based experience associated with slice provides the user with a tangible connection to their information stored on the computer reassuring the safety and placement of their files.

Creative Product Designs

Concept Cell Phone

Concept Cell Phone
In times wenn all-rounder-phones dominate the market, more subtle, intuitive and minimalistic designs provide a sound alternative. This is just a cell phone to provide communication. No mp3, no video or camera etc. Designed by Tamer Koseli.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Rocking Chair

Rocking Wheel Chair
A concept and a modern interpretation of a rocking chair. The near circular form seen from the side is what makes the design unique. It allows for the rocking motion without being an attachment, but instead flowing into the rest of the chair. The upper part features a light source, which can be used as a reading light.

Creative Product Designs

Airtrav

Airtrav
Airtrav is an electronic boarding pass concept. The touch screen interface allows for users to access airport information. Travelers can know anything and everything about their flight, dual headphones are available for multiple users and the deaf or hearing impaired can stay alert to important changes. The system has a stackable charging system (charged by an alternative power source).

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Peanut Butter

Peanut Butter Jar
This is a design we’ve all been waiting for a loooong time now. The Easy PB&J Jar is a jar with two lids that allows you to access all of your peanut butter easily without having to resort to breaking open the jar. As you near the end on one side, simply flip the jar over to get the rest. The straight and smooth internal walls also ensure that no peanut butter is ever left behind a nook or cranny like existing jars.

Creative Product Designs - skforlee - easy pb&j

Carry On Luggage

Carry On Luggage
A carry-on luggage to articulate the lost romance of air travel. The design also pulls from the golden age of ocean liners: the black lacquered finish will become beautifully scraped and chipped as the suitcase travels with you, revealing the bamboo plywood beneath. The patina will develop with each trip you take. Designed by Joey Roth.

Creative Product Designs

Nokia 888

Nokia 888
In Nokia 888 form follows you: it is a light personal mobile communication device. You can change its form according to your needs during the day. You dont have to carry it in your pocket or on your wrist. You can carry it anywhere, in any form. You can roll it, bend it, put on your clothes like a clip.

It also makes some form changes that makes it more ergonomical: i.e. when you want to talk on the phone, the body form turns into the form of the good old telephone. You can personalize these forms and record them. Communication takes place via electronical motions that 888 has. E.g. you can send a heart shape to your girlfriend, so her telephone turns into an icon of heart.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Zeed+

Zeed+
Zeed+ is a computer which maximizes the mobility of its hardware components. All the hardware, such as the video card, sound card, CPU and network card are no longer located inside the box. Instead, each of the stem-shaped devices are well packaged standard units that sit on the vase base.

Zeed+ has the meaning of when you need something, you seed something. Each stem, or “zeed”, can be easily upgraded or changed, since they are located outside of the vase base. This also offers the benefit of trading or recylcing old “zeeds” to different market segments. Under the “zeed++” project, the older, but still usable zeeds, can be collected and reused in other Zeed+ computers for special groups, charities, education.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

The overall design concept of the form is inspired by “Ikebana”, the Japanese traditional art of formal flower arrangement with special regard shown to balance, harmony, and form.

Virtual Ideas Watch

Virtual Ideas Watch
Slick, compact, beautiful and elegant watch design by Julien Soret.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Bello Concept PMP

Bello Concept PMP
Ryan Han has developed a concept with an interesting conceptual feature. The standard finger clicks, swipes and flicks are all incorporated, but the most interesting features involve utilizing shaking and pouring motions.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Printer Table

Printer Table
For those of us cursed with limited space, this is the answer. It’s a combination printer and table that blends in well with small offices as furniture. The faux drawers are actually paper loading trays and the slit is where your prints come out. Now nobody will scold you for setting your drink on top of the printer. Designer: Lukas Koh.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Onyx Concept

Onyx Concept
A next-generation phone concept, Onyx. Enabled through Synaptics clear, capacitive sensing technology, Onyx illustrates the future of mobile communications by combining an intelligent and adaptive user interface with sleek industrial design and next-generation user interaction design. The Onyx concept does not base its experience on treating applications as separate windows or entities that work in isolation. Rather, the Onyx concept seamlessly integrates functions into activity based experiences.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Aquarium Sink

Moody Aquarium Sink
Moody is not only a simple washbasin, but also an aquarium for goldfish, a Zen garden or a simple pebble river bed or whatever you would like it to be. It is completely watertight with a sand bed for fish, and provides the necessary lighting for maintaining your fish in healthy conditions. Price: $4,700.00.

Creative Product Designs

Pixel Perfect Hour Glass

Pixel Perfect Hour Glass
Designer Pavel Balykin believes that retro timepiece is on schedule for a comeback. It’s fittingly called the Sand+Time Watch and has the distinct feature of a digital hour glass screen saver mode. It’s a “screen saver” mode, because this particular feature does not actually count time for you.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

If you want to know the real time, click a button and a more modern interpretation of time, we like to call “numbers”, will appear. Add a motion sensor, like the one used in Apple’s iPhone, and this screen saver mode might get that extra little cool factor to push it into production.

Swiss Desk Station Model

Swiss Desk Station Model
Reconditioned phone based on a vintage Bundespost design. It is a beautiful and original product design. Which is why it is in this overview. Price: ÂŁ 215.00.

Creative Product Designs

Circle Sofa

Circle Sofa
The Circle sofa unit is made up of four parts, two of which make up a semicircle; all of which together create a round sculpture. The outline and contour looks highly sculptural and vigorous – and it is left open how one arranges these sofas in a room. Due to the “segmentation” of the circle, the sofas facilitate a great diversity of options and multifunctional solutions as well as interesting sculptural forms and lines. Designed by UN Studio, Amsterdam (Ben van Berkel).

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

The Bulbdial Clock

The Bulbdial Clock
The Bulbdial Clock has no hands – just one pole in the center of the clock, and three light sources of varying heights which revolve around the pole casting shadows. In the model illustrated above, the light sources are each attached to a ring which rotates around the pole. The innermost ring rotates once per minute, casting a “second hand” shadow. The middle ring rotates once per hour, and casts the “minute hand” shadow. And the outer ring rotates once every 12 hours, casting the “little hand” shadow.

Creative Product Designs

Keyboard Shortcut Skins

Keyboard Skins
Models available for notebook computers and desktop keyboards. Molded exactly to fit your keyboard like a glove. Quick to remove and reapply as often as you wish.

Creative Product Designs

Creative Product Designs

Barbouille Blackboard

Barbouille Blackboard
The Barbapapa transform themselves at will since 30 years. Marie Leblon, very inspired by their universe imagined and created all a series of objects, such these blackboard. Isn’t it just perfect for brainstorming sessions? Price: ÂŁ19.86.

Creative Product Designs