Written by Brandi Lynn

If I could have one superhero power it would be the ability to snap my fingers and get to any destination I could dream of. But I’m a mere mortal so I had to become a a wing-wearin’, heel-stomping, drink-slinging flight attendant.
People like asking the same questions over and over. My worst flight ever? Stuck with a passenger drunk off his socks. Favorite destination? Rome. Ever dated a pilot? Oh my god, NO.

But no one ever stops to ask me the question I’m dying to answer: What can a passenger do to annoy a flight attendant? So now it’s my turn. I present the 10 Most Annoying Passenger Habits.

10) Frowning Faces: I like smiles. I especially like them come row 40, so please, throw a smile my way. Sounds easy enough, right?

9) Misuse of Overhead Compartments: If you’re one of the first 10 passengers to board, shoving your jacket into the overhead bin is a total a-hole move. It’s frustrating to have to check someone’s carry-on because your jacket has taken up half the overhead bin when it could easily have gone under the seat in front of you.

8) Creating Obstacles in the Aisle: Legs, feet, shoulders, elbows, knees, heads … bags, purses, shoes, pillows … Aisles are small. Galley carts are big. It’s hard seeing around a 200-lb. galley cart, so I hit countless body parts daily (and feel terrible doing it). I’m asking — no, I’m begging — please keep all of your personal objects, and your person, out of the aisle until I’ve passed you. Then, feel free to take the aisle back over.

7) Rolling Your Eyes When I Can’t Help You Hoist Your Carry-On Into the Overhead Bin: I understand that you might need a hand getting your luggage into the overhead. I can’t risk hurting myself for you or your bag — I don’t want to get an OJI (on the job injury) and be out of work. I’m genuinely sorry I have to say no. I really am … until you roll your eyes. Then, you’ve lost all sympathy

6) Not Paying Attention to My Exit-Row Briefing: Your chatting on the phone/talking to the person next to you during my exit-row briefing is not only annoying, but it gives me the right to remove you from that row with extra leg room. I have to know you are willing and able to do what I’m asking. It’s simple. Listen for a minute (yes, I know you’ve “heard this 200 times before, but it’s not going to kill you to listen again and then I’ll be on my way. That simple.

5) Leaving Your Headphones on While Ordering: “Whaaaaat?” Press pause, take them out for just a tiny moment and tell me what you want. I’ll love you for life.

4) Telling Me What My Job Is: I’m paid to handle an emergency situation. My slinging drinks, chat-chatting and being friendly while bringing you blankets, tissues, cups of water and little peanuts is just an added bonus for you. If you have a heart attack and there’s no doctor on the plane, I’m there and can try to keep your heart going. So please, please do not tell me what my job is.

3) Complaining About My Limited Food Supply: We know airlines used to serve free, hot meals in main cabin. We also know many airlines have gone bankrupt in the past 10 years. They have had to make cuts — from no meals to fewer flights to outrageous bag-check fees — which suck all around. But I have no control over that, so please keep your comments to yourself — or write a letter.

2) Handing Me Dirty Diapers: Ewww. There is a lavatory on every airplane with a very nice and well-functioning garbage can. Enough said.

1) Poking Me: It’s rude to point, so it logically follows that it’s super-rude to poke/touch/rub/violate your crew members. Keep fingers and hands to yourself please. I have enough bruises from pointy fingers jabbing into my shoulder and butt to last a lifetime.

Bonus Tip: Bring any kind of candy for a crew member, and you are pretty much getting special treatment from that point on. We always remember those nice folks toward the back who brought us some Hershey’s Kisses …

Read more about Brandi’s adventures both in-flight and on the ground at her blog Excess Baggage

Written by Jim Rendon

1. “Good luck finding the best deal.”

When it comes to gas prices, most stations are branded — meaning the name of a major oil company hangs out front — and must buy gas from their proprietary company. They can’t shop around.

With a lock on sales, the oil companies charge each station a different price depending on various factors, such as the station’s competition and its location. That means a station might have to pay a lot more than one down the street, and that cost gets passed along to you.

Faced with such instability, Gainesville, Fla., resident Steven King plans ahead: “If I know I’m going out of town, I try not to buy gas, so I can fill up after I leave.” King says he can save 10 cents a gallon by purchasing gas on the road. You’d be similarly wise to shop around because with prices constantly in motion, the cheapest gas may not be at the same station every time.

2. “I hate it when gas prices go up.”

Stations earn, on average, 10 to 15 cents on a gallon of gas. Ironically, they earn the least when prices are highest. When fuel climbs, gas stations usually must shrink their profit margins to remain competitive, meaning they earn less per gallon.

But another big cost during tough times is something they can’t do anything about: credit card fees, which add up to about 2.5% of all purchases. When gas is at, say, $2 a gallon, stations pay credit card companies 5 cents a gallon; when gas hits $3, that fee becomes 7.5 cents, at least half of the stations’ average profits.

“Those credit card fees are miserable for the gas station business,” says Mohsen Arabshahi, who owns five Southern California stations.

How do station owners make up for lost revenue? “Prices go up like a rocket and come down like a feather,” says Richard Gilbert, a professor of economics at the University of California, Berkeley. For several weeks after wholesale prices drop, stations can earn as much as 20 cents a gallon before retail prices are lowered to reflect the change.

3. “My gas isn’t better for your car; it’s just more expensive.”

Oil companies spend lots of money explaining why their gas is better than the competition’s. Chevron’s gas, for example, is fortified with Techron, and Amoco Ultimate is supposed to save the planet along with your engine. But today, more than ever, one gallon of gas is as good as the next.

True, additives help to clean your engine, but what the companies don’t tell you is that all gas has them. Since 1994, the government has required that detergents be added to all gasoline to help prevent fuel injectors from clogging.

State and local regulators keep a close watch to make sure those standards are met; a 2005 study indicated that Florida inspectors checked 45,000 samples to ensure the state’s gas supply was up to snuff, and 99% of the time it was.

“There’s little difference between brand-name gas and any other,” AAA spokesman Geoff Sundstrom says.

What’s more, your local Chevron station may sell gas refined by Shell or Exxon Mobil. Suppliers share pipelines, so they all use the same fuel. And the difference between the most expensive brand-name gas and the lowliest gallon of no-brand fuel? Often just a quart of detergent added to an 8,000-gallon tanker truck.

4. “If you’re smart, you’ll put that debit card away.”

Your debit card might be a convenient way to pay for gas, but it’s a no-win proposition. When you swipe a debit card at the pump, the bank doesn’t know how much money you’ll be spending until you’ve finished pumping. So to make sure you have the funds to cover the purchase, some stations ask banks to automatically set aside some of your money: That amount can be $20 or more. That means even if you just topped off your tank for $10, you could be out $30, $50 or even $100 until the station sends over its bulk transactions, which can take up to three days. If your funds are running low, you might end up bouncing a check in the meantime, even though you had the money in your account.

Unfortunately, paying inside with your debit card isn’t much of a solution either. Many banks charge their customers 50 cents to $1 for the privilege of using their debit card in any PIN-based transaction. The American Bankers Association estimates only 13% of consumers pay these fees, but critics say the practice is on the rise and that consumers are often unaware of these charges.

5. “Don’t even consider applying for our gas card.”

When it comes to gasoline credit cards, a little research goes a long way. The good deals are great, but the bad deals are really bad. Similar to store cards issued through retailers, gas cards are riddled with drawbacks, says Curtis Arnold, the founder of CardRatings.com. Annual percentage rates are high, starting above 20%; many don’t offer rebates on gas purchases; and they often lack standard protections such as fraud monitoring and zero liability for unauthorized transactions.

What about a Visa or MasterCard affiliated with a gasoline brand such as Exxon or BP? They often offer lower interest rates and significant rebates but limit your ability to shop around. In December 2005, a few months after gas hit $3 a gallon, Justin Andringa of Minneapolis considered a branded credit card that came with a 15% rebate on gas purchases of that brand. But the rebate was temporary; he decided to stick with the card he had, which then offered a 5% rebate on gas purchases no matter where he bought it.

“I’m a college student,” Andringa says. “I need to save money.”

The deals on cards are constantly changing. CardRatings.com is a good place to find updated information.

6. “Looking for the cheapest gas in town? Try the Internet.”

You can’t actually buy gas online, but Web resources can help you find the cheapest fill-up in town. Among them, GasPriceWatch.com and Gaswatch.info help people track pump prices. More comprehensive is GasBuddy.com, which includes a network of 174 local sites, complete with maps and message boards that tally gas price by ZIP code.

“People are frustrated by the variation in the price of gas,” says GasBuddy.com co-founder Jason Toews, and they’re using the Internet to take control.

It has worked wonders for Sue Foust. Every day, as she passes roughly 10 stations on her commute across Tucson, Ariz., Foust notes their prices, then posts them on TucsonGasPrices.com, a local affiliate of GasBuddy.com.

Every four days or so, when she needs to fill up, she checks the prices others have posted in her area. It turned out the Shell station she used to frequent is one of the most expensive in the city. Now she fills up elsewhere. “I really do feel like I’m saving money,” she says.

7. “It’s a gallon when I say it’s a gallon.”

It’s hard to know whether you’re getting all the gas you paid for at the pump. But in some places there’s a very good chance you’re not. State or county authorities check pumps for accuracy, but in some areas it can be years between inspections. Arizona, for example, has only 18 staff members to check the state’s 2,300 stations.

That means stations there can expect a visit once every three to four years, according to Steve Meissner, a spokesman for the Arizona Department of Weights and Measures. In 2005, 30% of the more than 2,000 complaints the department received were valid, and it levied $167,000 in fines. The good news is that it’s often easy to catch the most common problem: Older pumps in poor repair may begin charging you for gas before you’ve pumped it. Check the meter to make sure it registers $0.00 before you begin and doesn’t start charging you before the fuel is flowing.

8. “I might gouge you on a soda, but my coffee’s a real bargain.”

With margins on gas taking a hit — in 2006, fuel sales made up 71% of revenue but only 34% of gross margins — stations are increasingly looking to their convenience stores for income. Given that fact, you’d assume the average Kwik-E-Mart would be a terrible place to buy just about anything. But that’s only partly true.

Stock that usually sits on the shelf does tend to be vastly overpriced, so if you forgot ketchup on the way to a barbecue, you can bet you’ll pay a lot more for it at a gas station than you would at a supermarket, says David Bishop, the director of convenience retailing for Willard Bishop Consulting. What about popular beverages? You’ll pay more for a 20-ounce soda at a gas station than you would for a 2-liter bottle in a supermarket; water and energy drinks similarly tend to have high markups.

But there are bargains to be had: Some high-volume goods, such as cigarettes and beer, are often competitively priced at gas stations. And a cup of coffee goes for a fraction of what you’d pay at Starbucks.

9. “If you’re having car trouble, you’re in the wrong place.”

The days of the local gas station staffed with a skilled mechanic have all but come to an end. Most station owners have swapped car lifts for beverage cases and carwashes, or anything else that brings in a high-volume stream of income and traffic, says Dennis DeCota, the executive director of the California Service Station and Automotive Repair Association. The more people who pull over for a soda, the greater the chance they’ll top off their tank and vice versa, the thinking goes. Few owners want the hassle of a business such as car repair, even if it earns the same amount of money as a convenience store.

In addition, repairing cars is increasingly expensive, and the ill will and potential liability from a fix-it job gone wrong are more of a headache than many owners are willing to risk. Today a service station can require $100,000 worth of diagnostic equipment — a significant investment. It’s a risky venture with little payoff, says Southern California station owner Arabshahi. In fact, Arabshahi removed the service station from one of his locations after he bought it.

“I don’t have a service station because I am not a mechanic,” he says. “If he messes up a job, then it’s my name on there.”

10. “You might not need regular gas to run your car.”

Cars run on gasoline, but not all cars need traditional gasoline to run. In fact, 6 million cars on the road today (mostly from U.S. manufacturers and built since 1998) are “flexible fuel” vehicles that can run on E85, a fuel that is 85% ethanol and only 15% gas.

When Minneapolis resident John Schafer bought a car in late 2001, he chose a Chevy Tahoe because it’s a flexible-fuel car. Since then he’s filled up almost exclusively with E85. The big difference he’s noticed: about 15% fewer miles to the gallon. But it’s a drawback he’s willing to put up with.

“I’m committed to the technology,” Schafer says. “With E85, it burns cleaner, so it won’t pollute as much.”

Although E85 generally costs less than regular gas, there is some concern that it may grow prohibitively expensive as demand outpaces supply: By 2006, ethanol was being used more than just in E85; it also composed 15% of every gallon of gas sold. Supplies of ethanol are likely to grow thin, which could drive up the price of E85. And even die-hard Schafer says he won’t buy E85 if it starts to cost more than gasoline.

This article was reported by Jim Rendon for SmartMoney.

Written by holytaco

The 4th of July is a time to spend with family and friends, celebrating the things that make America what it is: beer, meat, fireworks, and more beer…and boobs, also. And you’re pretty much guaranteed four of those five things on the 4th of July. Be warned, though: if you decide to spend your 4th of July with your loved ones, there are 7 Things that Will Definitely Happen at Your Family’s 4th of July Barbecue:

1. Your Uncle Will Get Sick from Eating Spoiled Potato Salad

Potato salad is the one thing that’s always left over at the end of a hot, fun-filled 4th of July. Why? Because potato salad was on sale, and everyone at the barbecue brought it as a side dish. Most normal people know that eating potato salad that’s been sitting in the sun all day is like holding a sweaty, nervous guy’s briefcase for him at the airport. But your uncle has been shooting bottle rockets at squirrels and pounding MGD all day, and now he’s f*ckin’ hungry. The skin that’s formed over the top of the potato salad isn’t going to stop him. In fact, he’ll probably peel it off and make a bad Silence of the Lambs joke while shoving it into his mouth with his bare hands like a savage. Just have a camera at the ready, because in about an hour, he’ll be curled in the fetal position, covered in his own filth, calling out desperately for Jesus to save him.

2. Your Grandma Will Say Something Racist

This 4th of July, your sister might decide to throw a curveball: she’ll show up with her new boyfriend, who happens to be of a different ethnicity than the rest of your family. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this, and anyone who was born after 1940 won’t even pay any mind to it. Unfortunately, your grandma was born in the 1700’s or something, and she doesn’t like it one bit. Being the good, passive-aggressive grandma that she is, she’ll try her best to hold her tongue, and keep her racial slurs at a hushed tone, but eventually she’s going to slip. She’s old. That’s what old people do. At some point in the day, she’s going to refer to your sister’s boyfriend as “Boy”, or tell him to clear the table, or to “get back to work ‘fore she tells papa he’s trying to escape”, whatever that means. Try to get people to laugh this off as “just crazy old grandma”. Your sister will break up with the dude next week anyway, so you just have to focus on the short game: making it through the day without anyone punching your grandma’s false teeth out.

3. You’ll Hit on a Hot Chick Who Turns Out to be Your Cousin

The recent economic shit-storm has forced a lot of people to move back home, where their families can help and support them. Fortunately, this means that you’ll get to meet some extended family members that you didn’t even know you had. Unfortunately, some of them are going to be hot. You’ll consider the possibility that you might somehow be related to the mega-babe that you’re chatting up at the barbecue, but surely you would’ve heard about her before, right? Your mom, at some point in your life, would’ve at least said, “Oh, by the way, you have a cousin in Vancouver who’s really hot. Just an FYI!” Your hot cousin, on the other hand, knows that you two are related. She just likes the attention she’s getting from you. She’ll wait until you make a pass at her, then she’ll immediately run and tell your parents that you invited her to hang out in the attic for a half-hour while creepily brandishing a twenty dollar bill. There’s a good chance that at least three other family members will jump to your defense, because they got caught in the same trap earlier in the day. Stick together and you’ll all get through it with minimal collateral damage.

4. Your Dad Will Have Really Bad Gas All Day Long

On July 4th, your dad is going to wake up with bad gas. In fact, his bad gas is going to wake him up. Knowing that he was going to be immersed in food at the barbecue today, he decided to eat a light dinner last night, consisting of only 6 Jack-in-the-Box tacos. He’ll remind you all day that his dinner only cost $3 total. Unfortunately, just standing next to him will remind you that Jack-in-the-Box tacos tear apart an intestinal tract like that F5 tornado at the very beginning of Twister. Y’know how you’ve always wondered what an Auschwitz shower drain smelled like? Well, this is probably as close as your ever going to get.

5. Your Drunk Uncle Will Set the Lawn on Fire

It’s a fairly simple equation: Drunk Uncle + Firecrackers = Flaming Lawn. This happens for a few reasons: Your uncle has been drunkenly playing with firecrackers for a long time, regardless of whether or not it happens to be a firecracker-oriented holiday like the 4th of July. Therefore, he’s pretty confident with small explosives. He’s also going to go the extra mile, because today is a firecracker-oriented holiday. But your uncle doesn’t use just any firecrackers for special occasions. He uses big, huge, highly unpredictable 4th of July firecrackers. These firecrackers are so big that they’re illegal to sell, but they weren’t illegal when he bought them 15 years ago. Lighting a gigantic, 15-year old firecracker is like talking with a lisp in a biker bar: you’re just begging to get f*cked up. If the antiquated explosive device doesn’t destroy your uncle, it’s going to destroy something else, and there’s a good chance that that something will be at least the yard, if not the nearest building. Have a fire extinguisher on hand if—no, when this happens.

6. Your Cousin, the Vegetarian, Will Complain About the Food

There’s nothing like sitting around a grill cooking meat, drinking beer, and watching shit blow up. That’s why it will inevitably cause a huge stink when your cousin shows up from her semester away, claiming that she no longer eats “animal flesh”. She’ll bitch and complain about having nothing to eat, ruining everyone’s good time. The problem will be escalated when an elderly relative makes an inappropriate comment about the way she’s dressed, and your perverted uncle will follow that comment with a creepily suggestive saying about your cousin putting meat in her mouth. That’s why it’s probably in your best interest to have a little something there for everyone, even if it’s not what you would eat.

7. Someone Who Shouldn’t Wear a Swimsuit Will Wear One

The combination of hot summer sun, booze, and bodies of water makes clothes come off like tequila to a sorority girl. Unfortunately for you, the clothes will not come off of anyone that you’d ever want to see in swimwear. Ever. Whether it’s your fat aunt, who’s ass droops like an elephant’s bottom lip, or your creepy neighbor, who’s testicles just keep “accidentally” peeking out, you’re going to see parts of people that you never wanted to see. There’s not really any getting around it, except for maybe staying inside all day, but who wants to do that? The only way to soldier through it is to get as drunk as you possibly can, aiming for one of two results: either your vision becomes so blurry from the alcohol that you physically can’t see anymore, or you get so drunk that you don’t remember anything the next day. The important thing to remember is to drink as much as possible. The last thing you want is for the 4th of July to ruin masturbation for the rest of your life….well, maybe just the next few days, but still…

Bonus: Independence Day BBQ

Remember that fourth of July when those Aliens came and tried to wipe out mankind? That was CRAZY!

Written by Jordan Valinsky

Bored with Pearl, the cursing toddler landlord demanding rent money? Not amused by those cutesy pictures of cats with the baby-speak captions?

Maybe you need some fresh sources of Internet humor. The Web is full of clever blogs and funny sites, including many that collect amusing gags from users and find comedy in real life.

Click away from the cats and replenish your list of favorite bookmarks with these 10 new or lesser-known humor sites:

Awkward Family Photos

Snapping the perfect family photo creates stress for anyone involved. Should we go casual and wear blue jeans with polo shirts on a beach or be a bit crazy, wear matching outfits and — wait for it — lean toward the camera? Ah, choices. This user-powered blog highlights the most well, awkward, family photos submitted by its contributors. Just don’t show this to your mom for portrait suggestions.

My Life is Average

Breaking news: Your life is most likely mundane and not glamorous or melodramatic like “Gossip Girl.” Thankfully, someone has finally created a Web site for average people to commiserate about their average-ness. For a taste, here is a recent posting: “Today, I ate a “Fun Size” Snickers bar. I think that the regular size is more fun. MLIA (My life is average).”

My Parents Joined Facebook

Logging on to Facebook, one is bombarded these days with pointless quizzes, embarrassing photos and a friend request from … Mom? The inevitable has happened — your parents are on Facebook. Using submissions from users, this site highlights just what a foreign place Facebook is to parents. If you think associating with them in person is uncomfortable, this blog highlights the awkwardness that comes when your mom takes a “What porn star are you?” quiz.

Garfield Minus Garfield

Someone has found a way to make the Garfield cat comic strip funny: edit out Garfield. The author, who recently released a book of these comic strips, digitally edits out Garfield for a less-than-flattering portrayal of Garfield’s owner, Jon Arbuckle. Without his lasagna-loving cat, he looks like a lonely man who talks to himself — and whose life resembles that of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” Remember, if you are having a bad day, it could be worse — you could be Jon.

Laser Portraits

The 1980s brought great advancements in the photography world, such as the first SLR camera, the BetaCam and … laser backgrounds. It was a magical world back then, where little Jimmy posed for his school picture not against a typical light-blue background but a “Tron”-like video game gone awry. Looking at these pictures, one has to wonder if the use of those dangerous lasers injured any kids.

Historical Tweets

Who needs high school when history can be explained in 140 characters? Did you know the origin of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I Have a Dream” speech? @martinlkjr tweets: “Bought a sleep journal. I keep having dreams but forget to write them down.”

Safety Graphics

Safety signs are supposed to protect us from the dangers of big, scary machines and equipment. But most of the time, the signs turn out to be a parody of themselves. This blog gathers photos of actual safety signs with symbols of people being electrocuted, crushed by garage doors and so on. The “No Weapons Allowed” sign would not deter any killer from shooting the place up.

Someecards

These electronic greeting cards offer wry commentary on everything from birthdays to topical events such as swine flu and the death of Michael Jackson. A recent Father’s Day card said, “You’re the best father I can imagine unless you lost my inheritance in the economic meltdown in which case I can imagine better.”

Graph Jam

The task of illustrating a depressing point, like a company’s plunging profits, always lands on the poor graph. But no one said the lowly graph always has to be bleak — or boring. This Web site displays the best user-submitted graphs on a variety of oddball topics, from the percentage of people who dislike Michael Jackson to things people want to do in New Jersey (No. 1 option: Leave). Although GraphJam has been around for awhile, it remains one of the cleverest sites on the Internet.

This is Why You’re Fat

Feeling regretful about those French fries you had with lunch? Here is a site that makes those greasy treats look healthy. Witness the chicken finger bacon pizza, which is drenched in Thousand Island dressing and baked to golden perfection, or the Pattie LaBurger, a triple-bacon cheeseburger that uses deep-fried burger patties as buns. If you dare to eat any of these, make sure you have a cardiologist on speed dial.

Written by DrewWilson

The admins of The Pirate Bay have stressed that in order for the Bay to stay alive, they need to adapt the site to a legitimate one, selling the site for $7.8 Million in the process. While some users showed their support for the infamous website, others are already jumping ship, demanding that their accounts be removed in the process. We were curious to know what alternatives there are out there these days and have come up with 5 alternative websites.

It seemed almost unfathomable right up to the announcement of the website being sold, but it has indeed happened. While sites like the once mighty SuprNova fell in it’s wake, The Pirate Bay stood proud long after other sites succumbed to pressure from copyright entities. The length the site lasted seemed like the site became very symbol of defiance toward the copyright industry as a whole. Really how many sites can be named that lasted as long as The Pirate Bay? To drive the point home, the admins even created a page of legal threats they received and included responses which became a sensation all in its own primarily for the audacity of the responses, but also for the humour in it all. The Pirate Bay was the biggest ‘stick it to the man’ kind of sites. As a result, many other sites may have been emboldened by the efforts of The Pirate Bay – perhaps because the site lead the way in resilience, or maybe because the site took most of the flack from the copyright industry to name two possibilities.

For these and many other reasons, the loss of such a site in the eyes of many would lead to a huge hole left behind. While the fact that it was such a large site where users went to was, in and of itself, is a large reason for the hole left behind, many would agree that the spirit behind the site being removed can be felt by many file-sharers – how many users out there who never used the site or rarely used the site felt at least one bit emotional about the sale?

While the admins reassured their users that the site isn’t dying, just changing hands, many users have already expressed their doubts and are opting for the attitude that the site died the moment the announcement came that the site was sold – even though nothing has even changed yet.

We here at ZeroPaid were curious. If one were to jump ship, where would the users go? Under the idea that the site has to be somewhat public at the very least, we found 5 alternative websites through our own resources that may be of interest to public BitTorrent users:

1. Mininova

MiniNova is perhaps the most well known in the BitTorrent community. It was formed after the demise of SuprNova by ex-SuprNova staff members. It’s not hard to argue that this was the best site that replaced SuprNova. It indexes .torrent files from other sites, so some of the .torrents are from private sites that only allow members of those sites to download the given files. Still, the site is moderated and well-used by members and, with the release of their distribution network, content creators alike.

2. Demonoid

There’s been some debate in the past on whether or not this is a public or private site, though many would agree that this would be classified as semi-private given how often sign-ups are open. Whether or not you agree with this kind of torrent site, Demonoid has a huge following backing them and a number of it’s users would no doubt defend it’s viability as an alternative to The Pirate Bay.

3. ISOHunt

ISOHunt, like MinoNova, has had it’s share of legal trouble in the past and agreed to filtering content. Still, a number of users still use that site for finding what they want and it has stayed being one of the most populated sites online to this day.

4. 1337x

1337x.org is a lesser known BitTorrent site. Still, that hasn’t stopped their front page from saying “we don’t plan on selling anytime soon.”

MustangX continues, “We welcome all the users of TPB to use our trackers and site. It’s a free leech community with NO ratios to maintain, we have a web based chat , A 24/7 radio station with 8 different DJ’s.”

5. BTJunkie

BTJunkie is another site that is well-populated with users, but not as well known as sites like MiniNova and ISOHunt. Still, many users still find this place to be a torrent home or even a second torrent home when another of their preferred sites goes down or inaccessible on their end.

Afterthought

It should be noted that for many, no site will fully replace The Pirate Bay. That site is easily considered a home site for many and a site that is difficult to impossible to replace in the long run. Still, The Pirate Bay isn’t the only site around these days. It might be questionable if there would be many, if any, sites that could match the longevity and reach of The Pirate Bay, but that doesn’t make the only BitTorrent site around with, at least, a semi-open nature about it.

Written by Smashing Editorial

Effective writing skills are to a writer what petrol is to a car. Like the petrol and car relationship, without solid skills writers cannot move ahead. These skills don’t come overnight, and they require patience and determination. You have to work smart and hard to acquire them. Only with experience, you can enter the realm of effective, always-in-demand writers.

Of course, effective writing requires a good command of the language in which you write or want to write. Once you have that command, you need to learn some tips and tricks so that you can have an edge over others in this hard-to-succeed world of writers. There are some gifted writers, granted. But gifted writers also need to polish their skills frequently in order to stay ahead of competition and earn their livelihood.

We collected over 50 useful and practical tools and resources that will help you to improve your writing skills. You will find copywriting blogs, dictionaries, references, teaching classes, articles, tools as well as related articles from other blogs. Something is missing? Please let us know in the comments to this post!

1. Grammar, Punctuation & Co.

Ultimate Style: The Rules Of Writing
The web’s ultimate guide to grammar provides a database of topics and an easy-to-search A-Z list of common questions (via)

Use English Punctuation Correctly
A quick and useful crash course in English punctuation.

HyperGrammar
An extensive electronic grammar course at the University of Ottawa’s Writing Centre.

Grammar Girl
Mignon Fogarty’s quick and dirty tips for better writing. Grammar Girl provides short, friendly tips to improve your writing. Covering the grammar rules and word choice guidelines that can confound even the best writers, Grammar Girl makes complex grammar questions simple with memory tricks to help you recall and apply those troublesome grammar rules.

Better Writing Skills
This site contains 26 short articles with writing tips about ampersands, punctuation, character spacing, apostrophes, semicolons and commas, difference between i.e. and e.g. etc.

The Guide to Grammar and Writing
An older, yet very useful site that will help you to improve your writing on word & sentence level, paragraph level and also essay & research paper level.

Writer’s Block
A compact resource with over 20 articles that cover abbreviations, capitalization, numbers, punctuation, word usage and writing styles.

Paradigm Online Writing Assistant
This site contains some useful articles that explain common grammar mistakes, basic punctuation, basic sentence concepts etc. Worth visiting and reading. The Learning Centre contains similar articles, but with more examples.

Jack Lynch’s Guide to Grammar and Style
These notes are a miscellany of grammatical rules and explanations, comments on style, and suggestions on usage put by Jack Lynch, an Associate Professor in the English department of the Newark campus of Rutgers University, for his classes.

English Style Guide
This guide is based on the style book which is given to all journalists at The Economist. The site contains various hints on how to use metaphors, punctuation, figures, hyphens etc. Brief and precise.

Technical Writing
An extensive guidance on grammar and style for technical writing.

40+ Tips to Improve your Grammar and Punctuation
“Purdue University maintains an online writing lab and I spent some time digging through it. Originally the goal was to grab some good tips that would help me out at work and on this site, but there is simply too much not to share.”

2. Common mistakes and problems

Common Errors in English
A collection of common errors in English, with detailed explanations and descriptions of each error.

AskOxford: Better Writing
A very useful reference for classic errors and helpful hints with a terrible site navigation.

Dr. Grammar’s Frequently Asked Questions
Answers to common grammar questions related to English grammar, with examples and additional explanations.

English Grammar FAQ
A list of common English language problems and how to solve them. This list was compiled through an extensive archive of postings to alt.usage.english by John Lawler, Linguistics, U. Michigan, Ann Arbor.

3. General Writing Skills

Writer’s Digest
Writer’s Digest offers information on writing better and getting published. The site also includes community forums, blogs and huge lists of resources for writers (via)

Infoplease: General Writing Skills
Various articles that aim to teach students how to write better.

The Elements of Style
A freely available online version of the book “The Elements of Style” by William Strunk, Jr., the classic reference book.

Poynter Writing Tools
A blog dedicated to writers and journalists. Poynter also provides Fifty Writing Tools: Quick List, a collection of podcasts related to writing.

learning lab / writing skills
This site offers over 20 .pdf-documents with main rules and common mistakes related to summarising, paraphrasing, referencing, sentences, paragraphs, linking words and business writing. Handy.

Using English
UsingEnglish.com provides a large collection of English as a Second Language (ESL) tools & resources for students, teachers, learners and academics. Browse our grammar glossary and references of irregular verbs, phrasal verbs and idioms, ESL forums, articles, teacher handouts and printables, and find useful links and information on English. Topics cover the spectrum of ESL, EFL, ESOL, and EAP subject areas.

Online Writing Courses
Free courses are a great way to improve your writing skills. The courses shown here focus on several types of creative writing, including poetry, essay writing and fiction writing.

4. Practical Guides To Better Writing Skills

Copywriting 101: An Introduction to Copywriting
This tutorial is designed to get you up and running with the basics of writing great copy in ten easy lessons. Afterwards, you’ll get recommendations for professional copywriting training, plus links to tutorials on SEO copywriting and writing killer headlines.

A Guide to Writing Well
“This guide was mainly distilled from On Writing Well by William Zinsser and The Elements of Style by Strunk and White. Other sources are listed in the bibliography. My memory being stubborn and lazy, I compiled this so I could easily refresh myself on writing well. I hope it will also be helpful to others.”

Online Copywriting 101: The Ultimate Cheat Sheet
The ultimate cheat sheet with various Web copy resources that copywriters can use to lean the best writing tips and ideas. More copywriting cheat sheets.

Headlines and Trigger Words

• 50 Trigger Words and Phrases for Powerful Multimedia Content
• 21 Traffic Triggers for Social Media Marketing
• How To Write Magnetic Headlines (and even more headlines)
• Passive Voice Is Redeemed For Web Headings
• 5 Simple Ways to Open Your Blog Post With a Bang
• Landing Page Tutorials and Case Studies
• Copywriting for e-Commerce

Common mistakes and errors

• 10 flagrant grammar mistakes that make you look stupid
• The Seven Deadly Sins of Website Copy
• Six Common Punctuation Errors that Bedevil Bloggers

Writing tips from experts

• 10 Writing Tips from the Masters
• George Orwell’s tips on better writing
• Stephen King’s Top 7 Tips for Becoming a Better Writer
• Ernest Hemingway’s Top 5 Tips for Writing Well
• Writing hacks (hacks for writing) by Scott Berkun

Practical tips

• What Is Good Content?
• 10 Steps Toward Better Writing
• A Guide To Becoming A Better Writer: 15 Practical Tips
• 10 simple things you can do to improve your writing
• 7 Can’t-Miss Ways To Kick-Start The Writing Habit
• 10 Writing Tips for Web Designers
• Activate Your Verbs
• How to Write Faster, Better, and Easier
• Writing Tips for Non-Writers Who Don’t Want to Work at Writing
• How to Write Persuasive Links
• A Guide to Becoming a Better Writer: 15 Practical Tips
• 21 Must-Read Tips To Write Better Web Content

5. Copywriting Blogs

CopyBlogger
Now that blogging has become the smartest strategy for growing an authoritative web site, it’s your copywriting skills that will set you apart and help you succeed. And this is where Copyblogger comes into play. Brian Clark’s popular blog covers useful copywriting tips, guidelines and ideas.

Write to Done
Leo Babuta’s blog about the craft and the art of writing. The blog covers many topics: journalism, blog writing, freelance writing, fiction, non-fiction, getting a book deal, the business of writing, the habit of writing. Updated twice weekly.

Problogger
Darren Rowse’s blog helps bloggers to add income streams to their blogs – among other things, Darren also has hundreds of useful articles related to copy writing.

Men with Pens
A regularly updated blog with useful tips for writers, freelancers and entrepreneurs.

Time to Write
Jurgen Wolff’s tips, ideas, inspirations for writers and would-be writers and other creative people.

Daily Writing Posts
“Whether you are an attorney, manager, student or blogger, writing skills are essential for your success. Considering the rise of the information age, they are even more important, as people are surrounded by e-mails, wikis, social networks and so on.

“It can be difficult to hone one’s writing skills within this fast paced environment. Daily Writing Tips is a blog where you will find simple yet effective tips to improve your writing.”

CopyWriting
“Copywriting website is jam-packed with useful information, articles, resources and services geared to show you how to write mouth-watering, profit-generating copy. Copy that changes minds and dramatically boosts your results. So come right in… you’re going to like what you see! It has copywriting courses, tools, articles and much more.”

Dumb Little Man: Writing
Jay White provides a handful of tips that may increase your productivity and improve your skills. You’ll find many tips and ideas for better writing in his archive category “Writing”.

The Copywriter Underground
A copywriting blog by the freelance writer Tom Chandler.

Lifehack: Writing
This collection of resources includes links to 30 posts on Lifehack that may help you to improve your writing skills.

6. Tools

OneLook Dictionary Search
More than 13,5 million words in more than 1024 online dictionaries are indexed by the OneLook search engine. You can find, define, and translate words all at one site.

Definr
A fast, suggest-as-you-type dictionary which you can add to your Firefox search box or use in bookmarklet form (see this post) (via Lifehacker).

Visuwords
Look up words to find their meanings and associations with other words and concepts. Produce diagrams reminiscent of a neural net. Learn how words associate.

Merriam Webster: Visual Dictionary
The Visual Dictionary Online is an interactive dictionary with an innovative approach. From the image to the word and its definition, the Visual Dictionary Online is an all-in-one reference. Search the themes to quickly locate words, or find the meaning of a word by viewing the image it represents. What’s more, the Visual Dictionary Online helps you learn English in a visual and accessible way.

OneLook Reverse Dictionary
OneLook’s reverse dictionary lets you describe a concept and get back a list of words and phrases related to that concept. Your description can be a few words, a sentence, a question, or even just a single word.

Online Spell Checker
Free online spell checker that provides you with quick and accurate results for texts in 28 languages (German, English, Spanish, French, Russian, Italian, Portuguese etc.). An alternative tool: Spelljax.

GNU Aspell
GNU Aspell is a Free and Open Source spell checker designed to eventually replace Ispell. It can either be used as a library or as an independent spell checker. Its main feature is that it does a superior job of suggesting possible replacements for a misspelled word than just about any other spell checker out there for the English language.

WordWeb
A one-click English thesaurus and dictionary for Windows that can look up words in almost any program. It works off-line, but can also look up words in web references such as the Wikipedia encyclopedia. Features of the free version include definitions and synonyms, proper nouns, 150 000 root words and 120 000 synonym sets.

write rhymes
As you write, hold the alt key and click on a word to find a rhyme for it.

Verbix
This English conjugator will help you to determine how to use verbs in the proper tense.

Wordcounter
Wordcounter ranks the most frequently used words in any given body of text. Use this to see what words you overuse or maybe just to find some keywords from a document. Text Statistics Generator is an alternative tool: it gives you a quick analysis of number of word occurrences.

Advanced Text Analyzer (requires registration)
This free tool analyzes texts, calculating the number of words, lexical density, words per sentence, character per word and the readability of the text as well as word analysis, phrase analysis and graded analysis. Useful! Alternative tool.

Graviax Grammar Checker
Grammar rules (XML files containing regular expressions) and grammar checker. Currently only for the English language, although it could be extended. Unit tests are built into the rules. Might form the basis of a grammar checker for OpenOffice.

txt2tags
Txt2tags is a document generator. It reads a text file with minimal markup as **bold** and //italic// and converts it to the formats HTML, LaTeX, MediaWiki, Google Code Wiki, DokuWiki, Plain text and more.

Markdown
Markdown is a text-to-HTML conversion tool for web writers. Markdown allows you to write using an easy-to-read, easy-to-write plain text format, then convert it to structurally valid XHTML (or HTML). Requires Perl 5.6.0 or later.

7. Further Resources

50 Useful Open Source Resources For Writers and Writing Majors
And if you’re a writing major, why not take advantage of all the opportunities to get great free and open source resources that can help you to write, edit and organize your work? Here’s a list of fifty open source tools that you can use to make your writing even better.

English Forums
If you have a question related to English Grammar, join these forums to get advice from others who know the language better or can provide you with some related information.

The Ultimate Writing Productivity Resource
A round-up of applications, services, resources, tools, posts and communities for writers and bloggers who want to improve their writing skills.

100 Useful Web Tools for Writers
100 useful Web tools that will help you with your career, your sanity and your creativity whenever your write. More useful round-ups.

Written by Zombologist

There was a great article on how to meet and woo Nerdy Girls and I’ve recently seen lots of posts on how to catch/date/seduce the female Geek.

But I haven’t seen a lot suggestions for the ladies on how to deal with the Geek Male.

Being a female Geek, I tend to approach my Geek Males a bit differently since I’m into the things they’re into.

Now, I’ll admit. I did ask for a little help with this one, as I am not male and perspective is key. So, with the help of @zombologist and tongue firmly in cheek, I offer:

5 Tips on Proper Geek Male Maintenance

1. Geek Males often work in fields that cause them to have to think a great deal and work long or irregular hours. This generally results in what I call “hurty brain”*

   *Hurty Brain stems from the repeated misfiring of synapses that occurs when a question is asked of a geek that is light years behind what they specialize in.

   Talking to them when they are fresh off dealing with the “raging stupid” is likely a bad idea as they aren’t always able to distinguish you from the enemy while suffering from “Hurty Brain”.

   Crack them a beer or pour them a glass of whatever they prefer and let them be for a while. Giving them time to read webcomics or kill a few things on the PS3 lets them unwind, allows the brain to repair itself and gives the beast within time to settle down.

2. Geek Males need play time. Whether it’s Xbox, Warcraft, or building PC’s from parts, geek guys need time to engage in said activities. Without harassment. You may not know a Tauren from a Master Chief, but just because you may not get it doesn’t mean he doesn’t think its pretty dang awesome.

   Side note: This is true for any hobby, really. If you haven’t found a way to give your guy a couple of nights to do what he likes without interruption, you’re going to find yourself single fairly soon.

   If you engage in the same activities (and enjoy them – no fair just “pretending” so you can be included), that opens up the possibilities. Heck, girls like Magic just as much as boys do and any Geek worth his salt loves a woman who knows how rock the DPS. 😉

   2a. NOTE: Geeks do have a tendency to lose track of time and may go over limit. Pulling your geek away from his hobbies may at times seem daunting, but I’m sure you can think of a way to get his attention ;-).

3. Let’s talk about movies. Be fair. Really. Asking a guy to watch a “chick flick” is already asking a lot. (On a side note, I’ve never really understood why women ask that. I mean, why would you want to torment a guy? ::grin:: Don’t you have girlfriends to go to the movies with?)

   Solution? Trade off. If you’re going to ask him to watch Steel Magnolias, you’d better be ready to watch Buckaroo Banzai. Know what I mean?

4. Buying him a present? Want to know what he wants? Giftcards. Giftcards. Giftcards.

   Why? Because Geek males are horridly self sufficient. You’re going to buy him a book or a game and you’ll be -so- proud of yourself that you remembered he wanted the new David Weber hardback when you were at the mall.

   But by the time you’re ready to give it to him he’ll walk into the house with a bag from Best Buy or Borders because he got it for himself. Yeah, I’m looking at you.

5. Lastly, and perhaps the most challenging…engaging the geek male in conversation. Obviously you got through the door if you’re reading this list and taking notes, but knowing how to communicate with the opposite sex is what makes or breaks any relationship.

   Learn how to speak Geek or at least learn to actively listen to the Geek in your life.

   For reference, let’s define what “geek” means, and for that we call upon the words of a college professor: Being a geek means possessing and being passionate about knowledge that no one cares about or considers.

   No one.

   So, you can see that the geek male is largely ignored throughout his natural life, even amongst his own people. There is hope because being male, geek males understand the logic of an argument even if the rest of the natural world believes the argument to be nonsense. The key is to counter his geek with your own.

   There’s got to be something inside you, or easily accessible that you can call into discussion as a parallel to form an argument. Draw the parallel and you’re good. He may not understand it in perfect context, but he will acknowledge your passion for it and your attempt at relating.

   He may also secretly wet himself a little.

Good luck 😉