Written by Brandi Lynn
If I could have one superhero power it would be the ability to snap my fingers and get to any destination I could dream of. But I’m a mere mortal so I had to become a a wing-wearin’, heel-stomping, drink-slinging flight attendant.
People like asking the same questions over and over. My worst flight ever? Stuck with a passenger drunk off his socks. Favorite destination? Rome. Ever dated a pilot? Oh my god, NO.
But no one ever stops to ask me the question I’m dying to answer: What can a passenger do to annoy a flight attendant? So now it’s my turn. I present the 10 Most Annoying Passenger Habits.
10) Frowning Faces: I like smiles. I especially like them come row 40, so please, throw a smile my way. Sounds easy enough, right?
9) Misuse of Overhead Compartments: If you’re one of the first 10 passengers to board, shoving your jacket into the overhead bin is a total a-hole move. It’s frustrating to have to check someone’s carry-on because your jacket has taken up half the overhead bin when it could easily have gone under the seat in front of you.
8) Creating Obstacles in the Aisle: Legs, feet, shoulders, elbows, knees, heads … bags, purses, shoes, pillows … Aisles are small. Galley carts are big. It’s hard seeing around a 200-lb. galley cart, so I hit countless body parts daily (and feel terrible doing it). I’m asking — no, I’m begging — please keep all of your personal objects, and your person, out of the aisle until I’ve passed you. Then, feel free to take the aisle back over.
7) Rolling Your Eyes When I Can’t Help You Hoist Your Carry-On Into the Overhead Bin: I understand that you might need a hand getting your luggage into the overhead. I can’t risk hurting myself for you or your bag — I don’t want to get an OJI (on the job injury) and be out of work. I’m genuinely sorry I have to say no. I really am … until you roll your eyes. Then, you’ve lost all sympathy
6) Not Paying Attention to My Exit-Row Briefing: Your chatting on the phone/talking to the person next to you during my exit-row briefing is not only annoying, but it gives me the right to remove you from that row with extra leg room. I have to know you are willing and able to do what I’m asking. It’s simple. Listen for a minute (yes, I know you’ve “heard this 200 times before, but it’s not going to kill you to listen again and then I’ll be on my way. That simple.
5) Leaving Your Headphones on While Ordering: “Whaaaaat?” Press pause, take them out for just a tiny moment and tell me what you want. I’ll love you for life.
4) Telling Me What My Job Is: I’m paid to handle an emergency situation. My slinging drinks, chat-chatting and being friendly while bringing you blankets, tissues, cups of water and little peanuts is just an added bonus for you. If you have a heart attack and there’s no doctor on the plane, I’m there and can try to keep your heart going. So please, please do not tell me what my job is.
3) Complaining About My Limited Food Supply: We know airlines used to serve free, hot meals in main cabin. We also know many airlines have gone bankrupt in the past 10 years. They have had to make cuts — from no meals to fewer flights to outrageous bag-check fees — which suck all around. But I have no control over that, so please keep your comments to yourself — or write a letter.
2) Handing Me Dirty Diapers: Ewww. There is a lavatory on every airplane with a very nice and well-functioning garbage can. Enough said.
1) Poking Me: It’s rude to point, so it logically follows that it’s super-rude to poke/touch/rub/violate your crew members. Keep fingers and hands to yourself please. I have enough bruises from pointy fingers jabbing into my shoulder and butt to last a lifetime.
Bonus Tip: Bring any kind of candy for a crew member, and you are pretty much getting special treatment from that point on. We always remember those nice folks toward the back who brought us some Hershey’s Kisses …
Read more about Brandi’s adventures both in-flight and on the ground at her blog Excess Baggage