From reddit

• Be attractive. Don’t be unattractive. (thanks earsofglitter)
• Don’t EVER stick your dick in crazy.
• Masturbate before any moderate life event/decision.
• If you want something, you have to ask for it.
• Delete Facebook, get lawyer, hit the gym, join credit union.
• Get a fucking tongue scraper. (beefytits wanted this near the top)
• No one knows what the fuck they’re doing
• Fake it ’till you make it usually works
• Buy quality products that you will use a lot. They are an investment.
• No one is keeping track of the mistakes you make.
• Get to know your parents before it’s too late.
• Respect is earned, regardless of status.
• People are far more like you than unlike you.
• Start saving NOW.
• There are money “hacks” (/r/frugal).
• Ignore the trolls.
• Learning how to cook is an incredibly valuable skill.
• If you bake stale tortilla chips in the oven at 300deg for 5 minutes, they’ll be crispy again.
• You don’t have to be nice, just don’t be a douchebag.
• If she invites you up for coffee, it’s not coffee.
• Body language makes a huge difference.
• Sleep in multiples of 90 minutes to not wake up tired.
• Spend time with people worth spending your time with.
• Showerbeer is amazing.
• Be friendly with janitors, secretaries, yard workers, etc.
• People remember you giving them a birthday gift when you didn’t have to.
• AmazonPrime is free for students (free two day shipping on a lot of stuff).
• Use sunscreen.
• Don’t ever talk to cops (thanks raziphel)
• Don’t try to make grilled cheese in the toaster. (thanks stickysodagun)
• “Today you, tomorrow me” goes a long way. (thanks UrMomsA_ThrowAwayAct)
• If you loan money out to friends, don’t expect to get it back.
• Fisting yourself in a public park is generally frowned upon.
• Anything can be explained like you’re five. (thanks osiris32)
• Kill spiders with fire. Or nuke them from orbit. (thanks Volgyi2000)
• Peeing in the shower is amazing and saves time.
• Rocking back and forth while pooping is pro. (thanks jymi1313)
• For the love of the great spaghetti monster use the Reddit Enhancement Suite (thanks yodamaster103)
• Fuckin ice soap.
• Tip well, if you can afford it. Imagine you are the poor delivery guy.
• Use www.rainymood.com if you need sound to help you focus (I do for studying)
• Use flux to protect your eyes at night
• Freeze bananas and THEN put them in smoothies for maximum results
• Cats with a side of boobs are the ultimate karma mine
• Always leave a note
• Don’t forget to bring a towel
• Get off the couch and make your body better. /r/fitness is a great place to start
• If you need motivation, check out /r/getmotivated – a fantastic supportive community
• Subscribe to /r/lifeprotips
• Breaking Bad is perhaps the best drama I’ve ever seen. Great TV show. check out /r/breakingbad (thanks edify)
• If you don’t want to end up in the friend zone, you should make your intentions clear from the beginning.
• www.pinklab.com [NSFW]
• Treat yourself well. Celebrate the little victories.
• The “Wadsworth Constant” – skip the first 30% of a YouTube video to skip the annoying intro shit. You can actually add &wadsworth=1 to the end of a youtube url to do it auto
• Get AdBlock (google it for your browser)
• Don’t be that guy.
• Bacon makes everything better
• There actually are loving an caring people in the world.
• Watching the news too much will usually depress you and give you an unrealistic view of the world.
• Fox News is biased as fuck. I don’t care what your political affiliation is, its not a reliable source.
• Prepare for the worst, hope for the best
• Reddit is primarily consists of a demographic of younger college-aged males. It is NOT the end-all be-all of the viewpoints on the internet, and things often turn into circlejerks pretty fast.
• Floss like a boss
• Forgive, but do not forget.
• People remember compliments.
• It doesn’t matter if you fall down, as long as you get back up.
• What shoes you wear says a lot about you.
• Wipe nut to butt.
• Admitting you made a mistake will earn you respect and speed up the fixing process. Having an ego solves nothing.
• Talk it out with your SO.
• Make the first move.
• If she cheated with you, she will cheat on you.
• Are you tired? Run faster!
• Don’t be a little bitch. Do it. Right now.
• Never fucking buy an HDMI cable that costs more than $20
• Soda is perhaps the worst value you can buy at a fast food place, and offers no nutrition.
• For coffee, a french press is the way to go. Seriously.
• Socks are lube for pants.
• There’s always money in the banana stand.
• Both religious people and athiests want you to be happy. They just have different views on how to be happy.
• Man code: No talking while pooping. Eyes forward at the urinal.
• Here’s another list of awesome insight from Reddit! Here (thanks Padre_Pedro)
• Place a clean towel on your pillow every night to help cure acne.
• You have two ears and one mouth. Listen twice as much as you speak.
• You can supress your gag reflex by squeezing your left thumb.
• To cool down a hot car quickly, open the passenger side door and open and close the driver side to vent the hot air out.
• It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
• Asking for help is not the same as whining like a little bitch.
• Never go full retard.
• Tell people that you appreciate them.
• Be kind to people who work in retail and food service.
• Thank you cards for gifts go a long way.
• Measure twice, cut once.
• Use [Dropbox](www.dropbox.com) It’s free for 2GB!
• By request: Firefly and Arrested Development are fantastic TV shows. You will not be disappointed.
• When in a street fight, there are no rules. Go for their groin/eyes/neck. Whatever gets you out safely.
• Native American alarm clock: Drink a glass or two of water and you’ll wake up just from the fact that you gotta piss.
• Never promise crazy a baby.
• Safety razors are pro.
• You are not alone. You are never alone.
• Don’t ever go to Reddit for advice