Monthly Archives: January 2011

The Most Inspirational, Unofficial Nasa Commercial. Ever.

Bonus:Photo of German soldier Josef Schultz, after having dropped his helmet and rifle to the ground. Moments later he is executed by his fellow soldiers, because he refused to participate in the execution of jugoslavian partisans and civilians. This story of a moral man should be more known, I think.

Josef Schultz

Top 10 Evergreen iPhone Apps To Kill Your Boredom

Written by AN Jay

Wondering how to have fun with your iPhone? One obvious way is to play games on it. And here we are listing down Top 10 Evergreen iPhone Apps To Kill Your Boredom. Read on my list of top 10 free iPhone apps for your entertainment. Try them all out – they’re free!

You are welcome to share if you want to share more iPhone Games that our readers/viewers may like.


Namco’s world famous arcade game, PAC-MAN, returns. Remember all the hours spent munching on the dots? Relive this classic! Chomp a Power Pellet to momentarily turn the ghosts blue. When they’re blue you can eat them for bonus points. Gobble up the fruit for extra bonus points.

Tic Tac Toe Free

Now you can play Tic Tac Toe on your iPhone or iPod Touch for free. Tic Tac Toe Free is the first full-featured, free Tic-Tac-Toe game for the iPhone and iPod Touch.


Klondike solitaire is the most popular solitaire card game in the world. The goal is to place all the cards in each suit in stacks of ascending rank.


The original Bubble popping app for the iPhone/Touch! Strangely addictive and fun game where you pop the virtual bubbles as fast as you can.

Checkers Free

Have you been searching for a free checkers application for your iPhone or iPod Touch? If so, look no further, Checkers Free is the premier free checkers application for the iPhone and iPod Touch.


You can play SCRABBLE on your iPhone or iPod Touch for free. It allows you to play up to 25 games against friends via Facebook + 25 more games against random opponents.

3D Pool Master Pro

3D Pool Master was very well received hitting #1 is many countries and now over passed 1M downloads world wide.

Line Up FREE

Line Up is a fun color matching game. Click on blocks of 3 or more of the same color, as quickly as you can, before they overflow the board. Get ready for a new challenge each time you play Line Up.

Paper Toss

Have you ever been bored at work, crumpled up a piece of paper and counted how many times you can make it in a small trash can? This game is oddly satisfying . . . much like tossing a real ball of crumpled paper into a metal trash basket. So realistic, you will think you are stuck in an office killing time.

Angry Birds Lite

Angry Birds Lite features hours of gameplay, challenging physics-based castle demolition, and lots of replay value. Each of the 12 levels requires logic, skill, and brute force to crush the enemy.

Bonus:In case of zombies, break glass

Rant: To the 23 year old girl I met at the bar

Written by craigslist

After a long chat about life, politics, and your future career in interior design, you asked me, a man nearly a decade your senior, something like, “What have you learned over the last ten years that you think I should know?” I offered some boilerplate platitude like, “Don’t limit your options because you never know where you’ll end up.” I’m sorry. I wanted to give you some real advice, but I was afraid of offending you. We spoke for a little longer, and I was building up the courage to tell you the truth, but before I could get to the good stuff your beefy bartender boyfriend (who stared at me menacingly the entire time that you and I spoke) whisked you away. Please accept the following paragraphs as the advice I didn’t give but should have.

First of all, your boyfriend is a fucktard loser, and if he’s the kind of guy you usually date you are in real trouble. I’ll admit he’s a good looking fellow: Strong jaw and big muscles, but he is also a moron and has two kids. Jesus, how old is he, twenty-five? And he already has two kids? What the hell are you thinking? Those little bastards aren’t free and if he mans-up to his responsibility he will spend the rest of his life broke. If he doesn’t man-up he is an even bigger loser and you should definitely drop him. I’m not saying you should get with me or anything, I’m thirty and bald and aware of my chances with the nubile tastiness that is you, but you live in a city chock full of universities and I’m sure you can find someone young, good looking, and smart enough to wear a fucking condom when he does the nasty.

Speaking of sex, you need to be careful. Really careful. Drug development is expensive and when big pharmaceuticals make a medicine for a disease it is because that disease is (1) very common; (2) bad enough that people are willing to pay $$$ to treat it; and (3) going to be around long enough for them to get their money back. All those Valtrex commercials you see on TV are telling you that lots of people have herpes. But you don’t know anyone who has herpes, do you? That’s because men who have it don’t tell their partners. You should be prepared for the worst. I’ve never had any STDs, partly because being bald makes getting laid nearly impossible, but also because I use condoms EVERY TIME I HAVE SEX. You should too. Just because you’re not willing to risk your health for a guy doesn’t mean you don’t like him, love him, or want to be with him. It just means that you have a head on your shoulders and some self respect.

Finally, about your career. Honestly, it really isn’t much of one. You live in the Bay. There are enough gay men around here to design and decorate every doghouse, outhouse, whorehouse, and courthouse for 700 miles. Every man you talk to knows this and we all mean to tell you, but you are really hot and humoring you is a condition precedent to licking and sticking your honey pot. Seriously, you really need to think more about exactly what you are going to do for a living because if you end up with Mr. Fucktard, or any facsimile thereof, you will likely be supporting yourself for many years to come.

Good luck and best wishes,

-The Short Bald Guy

Bonus:Dad at Justin Beiber concert

6 Professions Deader Than Print Journalism

Written by John Colagrande Jr.

The Imperfectionists portrays a group of journalists at a declining newspaper and begs several questions: Is it truly the end of the print era? What happens to all the old timers just looking for a scoop? Can they adapt? Or will they rot at the merciless hands of technology?

The critically acclaimed debut novel from Tom Rachman answers these questions and more with hilarity, insight, and memorable characters. Join Rachman as he celebrates the release of the paperback edition at Books & Books in Coral Gables next Wednesday.

Here are a few more professions currently struggling or already in their twilight. Maybe one or two can have the drama, characters. and suspense needed to match The Imperfectionsts.

1. Photo Processors

Although companies like Tropicolor on AltonRoad rock, this is not the best career to get into with the rise of the digital age. However, this job does allow for looks at private pictures, creepy, and alluring to the average voyeur–remember Robin Williams in One Hour Photo. Definitely room for a thriller.

2. Video Store Clerk

Do video stores even exist anymore? Between Red Box and NetFlix and On Demand, this job is fading faster a Key West sunset. Anyway, not much drama in the pimply world of video store clerks. Maybe humor, but didnt Kevin Smith drain the concept?

3. Bank Tellers

The need for bank tellers has decreased with the rise of ATMs and online banking. Shucks, there’s even an app for depositing checks now. Still, maybe one can fantasize a suspense in the blahzay behind-the-scenes world of banking. Just maybe.

4. Travel Agents

Not much need for a travel agent in the digital world, although there could be a story here. A romantic comedy, with a little suspense. Think My Life in Ruins meets a John Grisham novel. The ensemble characters would make this one interesting.

5. Non-Profit Organization Staff

Non-profits continue to face hard times due to the recession. Charitable donations are down and endowment funds (sans the almighty Knight Foundation) are still in recovery from the inconsistent stock market. Imagine a science fiction / fantasy project starring a granola eating ex- non-profit worker who drops out of society (Babylon) to pursue his own utopian (Jah) village somewhere in Malyasia.

6. School District Employee

The recession is devastating all sectors of the economy, including education. Most local colleges, like FIU and MDC have been on a hiring freeze for a couple of years already. Easy to imagine a drama starring a laid off teacher collecting unemployment left alone with his kid after his wife splits. He’s drinking and down in the dumps when his life long dream of being a scientist or an inventor pays off when the big corporation buys out his patent.

Bonus: For some reason I find this the funniest of all the Courage Wolf pics. This is Baby Courage Wolf.

6 Reasons Why You Should Date a Fat Girl

Written by regretfulmorning

I get shit on quite a bit by female readers (usually via email) calling me a sexist pig and what not for the “fat chick” and “dirty whore” jokes I make.  While they are mostly right, I need to point out that I love chubby girls. Yes you, chick who said I show nothing but “plastic bitches” on this site, I’m talking to you.

The reason “men’s entertainment” sites don’t show hefty women anymore, is because they aren’t in demand.Supply and demand. This site is 72% men, and in almost 3 years I’ve only had a handful of people make comments about liking ‘the chubbies.’   RM readers demand hot sluts with big tits, and I supply them.

Today however, I’m going to make my case for the larger ladies.  Yes you in the back row who can finish a Porterhouse steak, and clear a motherfucking swimming pool when you cannon ball, I got your back (or a fraction of it at least lol).

Not Afraid To Eat

It’s boring when you sit down at a nice restaurant and your date orders a garden salad.  Yea it’s cheaper, but if we weren’t ready to pay for a Filet Mignon, we wouldn’t have asked to take you out.  A big girl is likely to clean her plate (and yours) and have enough room for dessert.  Eating alone is no fun.

Less Likely To Be Conceited

Super hot girls who get hit on constantly, are stuck up beyond belief.  Comments like “Hey I like your hair today” get laughed at and grazed over.  They’ve also got entire cell phone full of guys who want to bang them.  That means, even if you do end up dating her, she’s liable to be getting drilled by 2 or 3 other fleshrockets at the same time.

Will Give You A BJ That You Won’t Ever Forget

Every single guy who read this and experienced it is smiling right now.  I asked my dad a few years ago “Hey dad, why do fat girls give better head?”  This is when he told me that they will work a lot harder to keep their man.   A model can get whoever she wants, so why perfect the art?  My dad is smart, so we’re going to use this as an acceptable answer.

More Durable

Do you ever like to wrestle around with your girl?  Maybe throw her in an armbar or choke hold while you’re watching a UFC event on TV?  Damn right you do, it’s fun.  Kinda like body slamming a little brother into the couch cushions when your parents weren’t looking.  Anyway, I have found that girls with a little bit of weight on them, can dish it out and take it too.  Sure they might be out of breath after 30 seconds of grappling, but at least they won’t cry about you messing up their hair.

Will Keep You In Shape

I don’t even know how to explain this next part without getting graphic.  You know how when you go down on a girl, sometimes you put your hands under her butt cheeks to lift her towards you?  Well, try doing that with a girl who weighs over a buck ninety.  It’s hard.  And if you look at your biceps while doing so, you’ll see that they’re getting all pumped up.  Are we on the same page yet?  A meal and a workout all in one.

Warmer When It’s Cold Out

It’s the winter time right now, and winter sucks balls.  Nights are long, unpleasant and nippy. You can remedy this with a girl that has a few rolls.  Let’s say your arm is cold:  Simply snuggle up behind her (spooning style) and slip your arm in between her chub folds.  Instant body heat.

Conclusion: Haters gonna hate, but I’m not one of them, and you shouldn’t be either.  I am also a firm believer in “Don’t knock it till ya try it.”  So gentlemen, next time you feel like shunning a girl at the bar because she weighs more than you will ever be able to benchpress, think back to this article and keep an open mind.

My beautiful girlfriend has just passed away, this was the last gift I gave her, and I want the world to see just how amazing she was.

Things Babies Born in 2011 Will Never Know

Written by Stacy Johnson

Huffington Post recently put up a story called You’re Out: 20 Things That Became Obsolete This Decade. It’s a great retrospective on the technology leaps we’ve made since the new century began, and it got me thinking about the difference today’s technology will make in the lives of tomorrow’s kids.

I’ve used some of their ideas and added some of my own to make the list below: Do you think kids born in 2011 will recognize any of the following?

Video tape: Starting this year, the news stories we produce here at Money Talks have all been shot, edited, and distributed to TV stations without ever being on any kind of tape. Not only that, the tape-less broadcast camera we use today offers much higher quality than anything that could have been imagined 10 years ago — and cost less than the lens on the camera we were using previously.

Travel agents: While not dead today, this profession is one of many that’s been decimated by the Internet. When it’s time for their honeymoon, will those born in 2011 be able to find one?

The separation of work and home: When you’re carrying an email-equipped computer in your pocket, it’s not just your friends who can find you — so can your boss. For kids born this year, the wall between office and home will be blurry indeed.

Books, magazines, and newspapers: Like video tape, words written on dead trees are on their way out. Sure, there may be books — but for those born today, stores that exist solely to sell them will be as numerous as record stores are now.

Movie rental stores: You actually got in your car and drove someplace just to rent a movie?

Watches: Maybe as quaint jewelry, but the correct time is on your smartphone, which is pretty much always in your hand.

©Will D/flickr

Paper maps: At one time these were available free at every gas station. They’re practically obsolete today, and the next generation will probably have to visit a museum to find one.

Wired phones: Why would you pay $35 every month to have a phone that plugs into a wall? For those born today, this will be a silly concept.

Long distance: Thanks to the Internet, the days of paying more to talk to somebody in the next city, state, or even country are limited.

Newspaper classifieds: The days are gone when you have to buy a bunch of newsprint just to see what’s for sale.

Dial-up Internet: While not everyone is on broadband, it won’t be long before dial-up Internet goes the way of the plug-in phone.

Encyclopedias: Imagine a time when you had to buy expensive books that were outdated before the ink was dry. This will be a nonsense term for babies born today.

Forgotten friends: Remember when an old friend would bring up someone you went to high school with, and you’d say, “Oh yeah, I forgot about them!” The next generation will automatically be in touch with everyone they’ve ever known even slightly via Facebook.

Forgotten anything else: Kids born this year will never know what it was like to stand in a bar and incessantly argue the unknowable. Today the world’s collective knowledge is on the computer in your pocket or purse. And since you have it with you at all times, why bother remembering anything?

The evening news: The news is on 24/7. And if you’re not home to watch it, that’s OK — it’s on the smartphone in your pocket.

CDs: First records, then 8-track, then cassette, then CDs — replacing your music collection used to be an expensive pastime. Now it’s cheap(er) and as close as the nearest Internet connection.

Film cameras: For the purist, perhaps, but for kids born today, the word “film” will mean nothing. In fact, even digital cameras — both video and still — are in danger of extinction as our pocket computers take over that function too.

Yellow and White Pages: Why in the world would you need a 10-pound book just to find someone?

Catalogs: There’s no need to send me a book in the mail when I can see everything you have for sale anywhere, anytime. If you want to remind me to look at it, send me an email.

Fax machines: Can you say “scan,” “.pdf” and “email?”

One picture to a frame: Such a waste of wall/counter/desk space to have a separate frame around each picture. Eight gigabytes of pictures and/or video in a digital frame encompassing every person you’ve ever met and everything you’ve ever done — now, that’s efficient. Especially compared to what we used to do: put our friends and relatives together in a room and force them to watch what we called a “slide show” or “home movies.”

Wires: Wires connecting phones to walls? Wires connecting computers, TVs, stereos, and other electronics to each other? Wires connecting computers to the Internet? To kids born in 2011, that will make as much sense as an electric car trailing an extension cord.

Hand-written letters: For that matter, hand-written anything. When was the last time you wrote cursive? In fact, do you even know what the word “cursive” means? Kids born in 2011 won’t — but they’ll put you to shame on a tiny keyboard.

Talking to one person at a time: Remember when it was rude to be with one person while talking to another on the phone? Kids born today will just assume that you’re supposed to use texting to maintain contact with five or six other people while pretending to pay attention to the person you happen to be physically next to.

Retirement plans: Yes, Johnny, there was a time when all you had to do was work at the same place for 20 years and they’d send you a check every month for as long as you lived. In fact, some companies would even pay your medical bills, too!

Mail: What’s left when you take the mail you receive today, then subtract the bills you could be paying online, the checks you could be having direct-deposited, and the junk mail you could be receiving as junk email? Answer: A bloated bureaucracy that loses billions of taxpayer dollars annually.

Commercials on TV: They’re terrifically expensive, easily avoided with DVRs, and inefficiently target mass audiences. Unless somebody comes up with a way to force you to watch them — as with video on the Internet — who’s going to pay for them?

Commercial music radio: Smartphones with music-streaming programs like Pandoraare a better solution that doesn’t include ads screaming between every song.

Hiding: Not long ago, if you didn’t answer your home phone, that was that — nobody knew if you were alive or dead, much less where you might be. Now your phone is not only in your pocket, it can potentially tell everyone — including advertisers — exactly where you are.


Bonus:I am not buying my dishes from the dollar store anymore!

10 Mobile Apps to Help You Keep Your Financial Resolutions

Written by

photo: Yutaka Tsutano

As the nation digs out from one of the worst financial crises in history, guess what is the No. 1 financial New Year’s resolution?

If you answered, “Get out of debt” — DING! DING! DING! — you are correct.

In a survey of more than 3,000 people, the National Foundation for Credit Counseling reported that nearly 70% said getting out of debt was their No. 1 financial resolution for 2011.

But let’s be honest with ourselves: We may go to the gym a few times, nobly order a salad for lunch and jot down “Check 401(k)” on a post-it note, but before the confetti’s even settled, we’re back with a bucket of chicken in one hand and the remote in the other, watching a marathon of “Ice Road Truckers” and buying bigger pants online, promising ourselves this is a one-time event because we’re working hard in the new year and dangit, we deserve it!

You want to make 2011 the year you stick to your resolutions? There’s an app for that. Several, actually, that will help motivate you, hold you accountable and show you the results — all the things behavioral experts say you’re going to need to make a real change. Check out these 10 apps for keeping your financial resolutions.

1. (Free)

First and foremost, you need an all-in-one program like that allows you to track your budget, your bills, your investments and your bank account no matter where you are. So no more saying, “I don’t know if I can afford that because I haven’t been home all week to check my finances!” It’s laid out in an easy-to-read format: You can see how much of your monthly budget you’ve already spent, your income vs. expenses for the month and the current value of your investments. It even links to Zillow to show you the current value of your home. It’s available for the iPhone and Android phones and has a security feature in case you lose your phone.

2. BillMinder ($0.99)

Juggling all of your bills and their multitude of due dates is no small task. It’s way too easy to miss a due date and wind up having to fork over a late fee. BillMinder is an easy way to organize, with a list of all your bills, the ability to check them off as they’re paid and a master to show when all are paid. Plus, a calendar view to show you your due dates. It’s available for iPhone, iPad, Android and BlackBerry.

3. (Free)

With so many people still unemployed, we’re adding a job-search site to our list of essential financial apps. Now, there are no more excuses for why you’re not looking for a job, or why you’re not looking for a higher-paying job! Having a job-search site on your mobile device, you can search for jobs from anywhere, whether you’re waiting to meet a friend for dinner or sitting with the kids on the couch. The Indeed app lets you search for any job anywhere, remembers your recent searches and shows you how many jobs have been added since your last visit. Available for the iPhone, iPad and Android.

4. SaveBenjis ($2.99)

Some of our parents were famous for driving around from store to store to find the cheapest price around for groceries and other items. But who has time to shop around these days? You do, if you’re smart and use your iPhone, not your car, for price comparison. SaveBenjis (You see, that’s funny because Benjamin Franklin’s picture is on the $100 bill.) is an easy to use app that lets you type in the product name and it will return stores (retail and online) where it’s available and the price at each spot. Plus, you can use the built-in barcode scanner to spare your precious fingers the typing time! It’s available for the iPhone.

5. Grocery Gadget ($4.99)

Speaking of groceries, there’s a lot of money to be saved right there if you’re organized, know what you want and don’t wander around the store aimlessly tossing things in your cart. Even if you make a list, you sometimes forget it. But not if your list is on your smartphone. Grocery Gadget allows you to quickly make a list, upload and share your list, manage recipes, search for e-coupons and check things off your list as you go. Plus, it also utilizes the built-in barcode scanner. And, it automatically syncs with every mobile device in your house, so you never miss a beat — or an ingredient! Available for the iPhone, iPad, Android, BlackBerry and Nokia phones.

6. Coupon Sherpa (Free)

First of all, anything with the name Sherpa in it is adorable — am I right? But more importantly, this cute-as-a-button app will save you money on the fly. You can search for mobile coupons by category (jewelry, restaurants, etc.) or store, find the nearest store location or save the coupon to your favorites to cash in later. At the register, just have the cashier scan the barcode on your screen and cha-ching! Savings. Plus, a bonus: No more crumpled up — and probably expired — coupons in the cup holder of your car. Available for the iPhone.

7. Buzzillions (Free)

What’s better: Plasma, LCD or LED? Is this a good brand? Save yourself the heartache — or should we say wallet ache — of a bad purchase by downloading an app like buzzillions, which offers millions of customer reviews at your fingertips. It’s pretty much a search engine for customer reviews. You type in the product and it will turn up a list of reviews, each with a rating out of five stars, five being best. Available on the iPhone, Android, Windows and Palm phones, plus the BlackBerry.

8. CraigsPro ($0.99)

OK, you’re managing your money, you’re saving money, now guess what else you need to do? Make MORE money. A site like Craigslist helps you find used items at a discount and sell items you’re not using anymore. With CraigsPro, now you can have that gigantic yard sale at your fingertips anytime, anywhere — and you can search multiple cities at a time. Say, when you’re rummaging around the attic, thinking “Huh, I should sell this and make some money,” you can look up similar items and find out how much you can make — and if you’re ready, part with it! Available for iPhone, BlackBerry and Android phones.

9. ATM Hunter (Free)

Stop wasting money on ATM fees. This free app from MasterCard allows you to search for nearby ATMs so, unless it’s an emergency, there will never be a reason to not go to your bank — and save the fees — again! Available for the iPhone.

10. Gas Buddy ($2.99)

With gas prices heading towards $4 a gallon just as many of us are getting our financial footing, finding the cheapest gas around is more important than ever. With the Gas Buddy app, all you have to do is plug in your city or zip code and it turns up a list of gas prices in the area, starting with the cheapest. You can add additional search criteria like fuel type and distance to the station. If you click on a station, it will not only call up the prices for each type of fuel, but also a picture of the station and detailed information like is there a convenience store, ATM, are they open 24 hours, etc. Plus, you can upload your own photo, report prices and show the location on a map. For the iPhone, Android and BlackBerry.

Bonus: Dog stole my sledge.

The First Commercials Ever to 10 of The Worlds Most Popular Products

Collected by chrisilluminati

You always remember your first; first car, first girlfriend, and the first time you saw something on TV and thought “what the hell is that and how can I get one?” But do you always remember the first commercial? You might think you remember the “first Transformers commercial” or the first time an ad for OxiClean popped on your screen, but it might have just been new to you. Chances are it wasn’t the first commercial.

I did some digging on YouTube to find some of the first commercials for the products we see advertised now at least once a day. I also found a couple personal favorites for things that aren’t around anymore (but we all wish they were).

Here are ten first commercials for popular products and brands.

The Transformers

Chevy Camaro


Lucky Charms


Mountain Dew



Apple Macintosh

Nintendo Entertainment System

Bonus: Happiest Penguin Ever

Day 983 of my captivity…

Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary?

Day 983 of My Captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

Thank-you Sir Pete and goodbye.