Monthly Archives: September 2010

lolwut

Bonus: If you watch one Minecraft video in your life make it this one. I laughed and laughed and laughed

The 10 Most Stylish Means of Time Travel

Written by Adrian Beiting

The manner in which most time travelers get from point A to point B (and sometimes C!) before returning to point A again are as varied as the adventures surrounding said temporal exploration. That is to say there’s no one way to go about the act of time travel, but that doesn’t make all time machines equals when it comes to the pleasures of the eye, or the imagination. Sterile, efficient and tidy, some machines do the job well but lack a degree of showmanship that nerds crave. Movies like Primer and Terminator 2 for example, as wonderful as they are, don’t exactly set the screen ablaze with their respective chrono-cheating methods: secret boxes hidden in storage and nude cyborg-transporting portals of rarely-seen origin.

Which brings us to today’s list: a celebration of time traveling devices that are as noteworthy for their visual flare as they are for their function, and in some cases, more so. These methods are preferable not because of their reliability (since in some cases, there isn’t any) but because they add a level of unparalleled cool to the whole time travel conundrum. Well, nerd-cool anyway. How’s that for a paradox? Read on!

10) Austin Powers’ VW Beetle

It’s easy to forget that all of Austin Powers’ cinematic adventures deal with time travel to some degree, and as a man who obviously takes his personal style very seriously, it only makes sense that one of his time travel vehicles of choice would be a colorful flower-powered VW Beetle. Beats cryogenics!

9) The Hot Tub Time Machine

The newest of these entries in stylish time travel is also the most ridiculous. But hey, since the thing isn’t real, we can’t fault it too much. The fact that traveling through time in this beer-soaked portal might involve getting hilariously smashed with your friends and a random guy in a bear suit doesn’t hurt its chances either.

8) H.G. Wells’ Time Machine

8) H.G. Wells' Time Machine.jpg

Exactly how one might imagine a monocle-bearing gentleman of the 1800s to transcend the Fourth Dimension, the original time chariot still gets high marks for its brass & quartz steampunk aesthetics despite the droves of subsequent imitators, thus maintaining its classic status. There’s just something striking about a machine engineered for a trip to the future yet so obviously designed from the materials of the past.

7) Rufus’ Phone Booth

Yes, nothing quite smacks of late-eighties/early-nineties charm like Rufus’ red now-vintage time traveling phone booth. It’s just an awesome way to navigate years and help the similarly rad Bill and Ted fulfill their Wyld Stallyn destinies via the Circuits of History.

6) The Dagger of Time

Yeah, the movie might not have won the game series any new fans, but that doesn’t change that the Dagger of Time from The Prince of Persia is a super fashionable way to control chronology. The fact that it’s often integrated into The Prince’s fighting style as a kind of insta-rewind/slow-mo makes it even more noteworthy. Where was this this thing in our awkward college… er… high school years?

5) The Time-Turner

Portable, easy to use, run by magic, and decent neckwear, the Time-Turner is a time traveling girl’s best friend – just ask Hermoine, who used it to pack more classes into her already crammed schedule in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Doing more schoolwork would certainly be the first thing we’d do if we had one of these as well – ahem.

4) The Vortex Manipulator

Granted it could easily double for the leather armband flaunted by the boisterous alt-rock kid you remember from middle school, but on the wrist of Captain Jack Harkness, it gains a more dignified edge, as it compliments his more mature time traveler’s ensemble nicely. Captain Jack’s suspenders and loafers not included.

3) The Time Train

3) Time Train.jpeg

BttF III‘s Vernian locomotive rarely gets any love, and we don’t know why. Yes, it needed the DeLorean’s help to get Marty and Doc home on its maiden voyage, but after Doc Brown’s modifications, which included a face-lift to its exterior, the train became completely self-sufficient and even gained the ability to hover. Let us repeat that: it’s a cool-looking flying train from the old west that travels through time. We don’t think much more needs to be said. Well, besides that Doc Brown is the man in the most absolute way possible. There.

2) The TARDIS

The TARDIS is awesome in general. As the Doctor’s devotees know, it’s almost infinitely bigger on the inside than it appears to be from its exterior, essentially has unlimited time travel range and can camouflage itself to fit in with any surroundings. Of course, as fans are also aware, Doctor Who‘s TARDIS doesn’t always work quite right, and of its many quirks has its chameleon circuit stuck on “obsolete police box” encapsulating the charm of old-school London in the Time Lord’s travels.

1) The DeLorean DMC-12

Even Doc Brown knew his invention was one stylish stab at time travel: “The way I see it, if you’re gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?” Just like the classic dreamt up by H.G. Wells, the DeLorean’s looks firmly anchor it in its own time (the 1980s) with its rising gull-wing car doors and sweet light-up interior controls. Its sports car pedigree also allows the vehicle to do things and go places other time machines can’t, and of course, it looks mighty fine doing it. If the flying car does finally arrive, here’s hoping it looks like Doc Brown’s invention.

Bonus: Your Childhood in 94 Seconds

Did you grow up in the late 90s? If so this video will certainly ring true for you. I know it had a good amount of my favorite things growing up. The best of which were pogs, The Secret World of Alex Mack (I had/have the biggest crush on Larisa Oleynik) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Of course there is quite an absence of things, like Pizza Rolls, roller blades or Kenan & Kel, but you canā€™t expect everything to fit into a minute and a half. What are your favorite things from your childhood? Now, watchā€¦ reminisceā€¦ repeat.(source)

Top 20 Items to Lock Down When You Move to a New City

Written by Eskimo Bro

So I finally got cable TV in my first post-grad apartment this morning and it got me thinking about all the things that you need to lock down when you move into a new city. Although moving sucks, it doesnā€™t end when you finish unpacking the boxes. Every Bro needs to find certain spots (and a few people) in a new city to make his own ā€” here’s our list of the top 20 items to put on your priority list.

BARS

Neighborhood Bar

Find a local bar thatā€™s near your place where you get to know the regulars, bartenders, and waitresses. Soon enough youā€™ll be a regular yourself, which will get you free drinks and help you impress the local talent. This is also a great spot to blow off some steam after having to deal with those fucking passive-aggressive emails your boss sends you all day.

Football Bar

You need to find a bar in your city that supports your hometown NFL squad. This bar will have your team playing every week and itā€™s always a good time when everyone in the bar is rooting for the opponentā€™s quarterback to get sacked.

Alumni Bar

This oneā€™s important. Identify what local bars are hangout spots for your schoolā€™s alumni ā€” especially around football and basketball season. Youā€™ll run into old friends and maybe some alumni with jobs to peddle. You might even cross paths with that chick from college that you always wanted to bang and hopefully now you can now that you have a job and a little bit of money.

Late-Night Drinks

Thereā€™s nothing like those late nights back in the dorm room or frat house you used to have in college. Sure, every now and again youā€™ll get a solid gathering back at your post-grad apartment to drink yourself into oblivion, but this does not happen often. You need to find a bar that is open late, later than they legally should be. Plus, any girl you can find out after 4 a.m. without an arm already around her shoulder is definitely DTF.

Brunch Spot

Finding a cool brunch spot is a great way to get your Fraturdays and Fundays back. Iā€™m not really even talking about finding a place to eat, although those are especially important for morning afters. You should be able to find a day-drinking extravaganza spot that serves solid food as well.

FOOD SPOTS

Breakfast/Coffee Spot (or Cart)

Try to find a coffee shop thatā€™s on the way to the office. Look for a place with fast service and minimal lines. Hot baristas donā€™t hurt either.

ā€˜Go-Toā€™ Lunch Spot

Working sucks (unless you work for BroBible) and you need a spot to get away for an hour or at least a few minutes. Find a place near your office that has solid and affordable food and get to know the people who work there.

Pizza Place

Pizza is a great source of fuel for bros. Itā€™s cheap and fucking delicious. Donā€™t cop out and order Dominoā€™s when youā€™re looking for a slice. Find a good pizza spot around your place ā€” it doesnā€™t hurt if itā€™s open late and they deliver (most obviously do).

Takeout/Delivery Spot(s)

A great delivery place is a Sunday hangoverā€™s best friend (besides weed). Itā€™s essential to have a great sando or General Tsaoā€™s only a phone call away.

Late-Night Food Spot

Unfortunately, after college there isnā€™t always a wide variety of late-night restaurants open to satisfy your drunken munchies. However, there are usually a couple places open late depending on what city you live in. Identify these spots early and continue with your late night-plastered meal shenanigans.

IMPRESS THE LADIES

Dog Park

The local dog park is a hot bed of local talent. Even if you donā€™t have a dog, borrow a friendā€™s and go try to meet chicks at the dog run. Most likely, if her dog lets your dog hump it, she will let you hump her later.

Date Spot

Up until recently I have been 110% against dating. There is no point to dating in college when there are dozens of sorostitutes throwing themselves at you. Then I graduated (worst decision of my life) and realized you have to get a little more creative than chugging Burnettā€™s with freshman girls and hoping one of them falls on your dick. Donā€™t get me wrong, there is still pussy to be had; it just takes a little more finesse. Once you find a girl whose number you actually want to call, sheā€™ll expect some type of date. Find a go-to place like a park, pier, cool rooftop bar, or casual but cozy restaurant to take the keepers.

Local Slam Piece

Not ready for the dating scene? Donā€™t worry, Iā€™m not necessarily advocating getting a girlfriend and completely throwing your youth away right after college. But you should definitely try to find a local chick that lets you have regular access to her tits and lower lips without needing to wine and dine her.

Laundry

Unless you have laundry in your apartment building, you can go one of two ways on this one. If youā€™re like me and donā€™t have any patience for doing laundry and are incapable of folding clothes, you should find a cheap and quick wash & fold. If youā€™re not trying to shell out for the mom-quality fold jobs from your local Asian cleaners, you should try to find a place where there are consistently hot girls doing their laundry. If you can find a hot chick that can fold like the Mexican housekeeper your mom used to hire, make a move and maybe you can get her to do your laundry as well. If youā€™re wearing a suit to work every day, a trusted dry cleaner ā€” a place that wonā€™t fuck up your shirts and will take care of stains no questions asked ā€” is also valuable.

SPORTS AND WORKING OUT

A Place to Play Your Favorite Sport

Whatever your sport is, most cities have a place for you to play it. Join a menā€™s league, a co-ed (or not) beer league, or find a spot to play pick-up. Thereā€™s nothing like playing your favorite sport to keep that competitive edge. Kickball and dodgeball donā€™t count.

Gym

Thereā€™s nothing like a power lift to start your not-so-productive day at work. If youā€™ve got good ā€œgym game,ā€ you could pick up a local slam piece here, too.

Run Route

For all you runners out there (myself not included) itā€™s nice to have a route that you know well to take your daily, weekly, monthly, or annual runs.

VICES

Weed Guy

This is one of the first things to lock down when you move to a new city. For you lucky bastards who live in California you can just walk right over to your neighborhood marijuana dispensary. In New York, the delivery services are pretty easy to come across. For everyone else, just keep your ear to the ground and Iā€™m sure youā€™ll find a guy.

Strip Club

Itā€™s an expensive habit, but being a regular at your favorite strip joint is crucial. I know not everyone loves strip clubs and to be honest I didnā€™t either; that is until I found myself a nice, classy strip club I could call my own. Get to know the bouncers, waitresses, and especially the strippers. Theyā€™ll take care of you if you take care of them.

Local Rub & Tug

Thereā€™s nothing like a happy-ending massage after a stressful week at work. Just close your eyes and let the imported Asian college student do the rest.

Bonus:

Being a polymer scientist, I can’t look at porn or nudity. So I have to get creative.

Being an electrical engineer, I can’t look at porn or nudity. So I have to get creative.

5 Reasons Your Waitress Hates You

Written by Devin Desjarlais

You’ve heard the adage “Don’t piss off the people who make your food.” It’s true.

You’ve already pissed off your sushi chef and your flight attendant. Why stop there?

Waitresses are used to difficult customers. They’re used to kissing ass for a good tip. But they also have the power to spit in your food — not that they do.

And do the customers make it easy? Hell no. That’s why your waitress hates you.

One such waitress from an Irish Pub in Boca Raton brings you this top-five list so you know what NOT to do.

1. You don’t understand that ordering extra means paying extra

“I can understand if you want a little bit of something. But if I have to go through the kitchen staff and get you an extra cup of salad dressing, yeah, I need to charge you that 50 cents. If you want extra, it’s going to cost extra.”

2. You give a verbal tip, not a real one

“They’ll praise me the whole time and only give a 10 percent tip. I understand if you’re on a fixed income and can’t leave a good tip, but it sucks getting $2 on a $20 check. I don’t get as pissed as some servers, though. Some will go into a roid rage over bad tips.”

3. You flirt too much

“Flirting is part of my job, especially when I’m dealing with a table of guys. I’ll call them ‘hon’ and ‘sweetheart’ a lot. But I’m just doing it for tips. Some guys think something is actually going to happen. Just… no.”

4. You ask for things one at a time

“If you need a refill of water and extra dressing, I can get it at one time. But if I’m busy, don’t ask for honey mustard and wait until I bring that back to ask for extra napkins.”

5. You seriously special-order off the menu

“I understand if you have an allergy or you can’t eat bacon because of your religion. But don’t ask ‘With my salad, can I have no bacon, tomatoes, or cucumbers? Can I also add chicken, but can you dice the chicken instead of slicing it? And I need some jalapeƱos on the side, but diced, not sliced.’ Not cool.”

Bonus: Spotted in the children’s section of a Reject Shop

20 Great Shop Sign Modifications

Collected by bannedinhollywood

Fun With Shop Signs Title

If you work at McDonaldā€™s or Papa Johns, I really canā€™t blame you for having a little bit of fun with your shop signs. Although, and I canā€™t speak for other states, just California, donā€™t expect anything too highbrow coming from your local burger flippersā€¦

20 great shop sign modifications begin now.

Bonus: Whoever it is, keep up the good work! (imgur.com)

5 Best Fax Services

Written by Jason Fitzpatrick

Five Best Fax Services

Despite the overall decrease in the popularity of fax machines, faxing is still a common practice in many industries. Here’s a look at five of the most popular services for sending and receiving faxes from a computerā€”without the clunky hardware.

Photo by mattjiggins.

Even though we’ve all got email and cheap scanners, faxing remains deeply embedded in the workflow of many industries, such as banks and government institutions. The following services can help you manage your virtual fax needs whether you’re a once-a-year, once-a-month, or a daily fax user.

FaxZero (Web-Based; Basic: Free; Premium: $1.99 per fax)

FaxZero offers a great service for infrequent fax users who only need to send out faxes, not receive them. You can send a fax for free anywhere in the United States. In exchange for the free service, FaxZero places an ad on the cover page and limits you to three pages and two transmissions a day. Still, it’s free, and for those last minute “We only accept fax!” emergencies, it can get you through. If an ad feels too unprofessional, you can send a premium fax with a max of 15 pages and no ads for $1.99. If you’re a light user, it would take a lot of $1.99 faxes to add up to even one month of premium service at most of the other fax service providers. FaxZero’s shortcoming, of course, is that you can’t receive faxes in return.

eFax (Web-Based/Email, Basic: Free; Plus: $16.95/month; Pro: $19.95/month)

eFax has two paid tiers of service plus a free serviceā€”scarcely mentioned on their web site. Their free service gives you a virtual fax number and allows you to receive up to 10 pages a month, but you can’t send out faxes. Since most people usually get stuck working with a company that insists you send them faxes, the pay-services are of most interest. The Plus service allows you to receive up to 130 pages per month and send 30 (overages are $0.15/page and $0.10/page, respectively). Pro service allows you to receive 200 pages per month and no free pages sent (overages and sent pages are $0.10/page). The Pro service also includes 200 minutes of voicemail-to-email service. You can choose between a local number or a toll-free number, but all incoming pages through the toll-free number are billed at $0.20 (regardless of whether or not you have free incoming pages on your account).

MaxEmail (Web-Based/Email; Lite: $2/month; Basic: $9.95/month; Premium: $39.95/month)

MaxEmail has several tiers of service. The most basic service is their ultra-light package, which runs $2 a month (it’s actually a $24 fee for the year, but we converted it to monthly for comparison’s sake), includes 100 incoming fax pages per month, no free outgoing (billed at $0.05-0.10 per page), and a unique fax number. Upgrading to the $9.95 per month Plus account gives you the ability to pick what area code your fax number will be in, increases your number of incoming pages to 250, and adds in 100 pages of free outgoing faxes. Upgrading to the Corporate account adds in additional features like increased incoming faxes and multiple users on the account.

MyFax (Web-Based/Email; Basic: $10/month)

MyFax is a feature-rich fax service. You can select from a local or toll free number for your incoming fax “line”, your sent and received faxes are archived for a year, and you can fax to 41 countries with no additional charge. You can fax via email or directly from Microsoft Office applications with the MyFax plugin. MyFax also includes scheduled delivery, delivery confirmation, and support for faxing of 178 document types, including popular formats like PDF, Office documents, and more. Accounts start at $10 (100 pages sent/200 received) and rise in price according to the volume you need.

K7.net (Web-Based/Email; Free)

In contrast to FaxZero, which only sends faxes (for free), K7 is a completely free (ad-supported) service for receiving fax and voicemail. When you sign up for an account, you’re given a Seattle-area number (where K7 is based), unless you pay $2 a month for an 800 number. K7 turns all faxes and voicemails into email attachments and forwards them on to you. If you’re not a fax power user, combining K7’s services with FaxZero’s services would give you a free and decent arrangement for the occasional faxes you need to send and receive.