Written by Devin Desjarlais
You’ve heard the adage “Don’t piss off the people who make your food.” It’s true.
You’ve already pissed off your sushi chef and your flight attendant. Why stop there?
Waitresses are used to difficult customers. They’re used to kissing ass for a good tip. But they also have the power to spit in your food — not that they do.
And do the customers make it easy? Hell no. That’s why your waitress hates you.
One such waitress from an Irish Pub in Boca Raton brings you this top-five list so you know what NOT to do.
1. You don’t understand that ordering extra means paying extra
“I can understand if you want a little bit of something. But if I have to go through the kitchen staff and get you an extra cup of salad dressing, yeah, I need to charge you that 50 cents. If you want extra, it’s going to cost extra.”
2. You give a verbal tip, not a real one
“They’ll praise me the whole time and only give a 10 percent tip. I understand if you’re on a fixed income and can’t leave a good tip, but it sucks getting $2 on a $20 check. I don’t get as pissed as some servers, though. Some will go into a roid rage over bad tips.”
3. You flirt too much
“Flirting is part of my job, especially when I’m dealing with a table of guys. I’ll call them ‘hon’ and ‘sweetheart’ a lot. But I’m just doing it for tips. Some guys think something is actually going to happen. Just… no.”
4. You ask for things one at a time
“If you need a refill of water and extra dressing, I can get it at one time. But if I’m busy, don’t ask for honey mustard and wait until I bring that back to ask for extra napkins.”
5. You seriously special-order off the menu
“I understand if you have an allergy or you can’t eat bacon because of your religion. But don’t ask ‘With my salad, can I have no bacon, tomatoes, or cucumbers? Can I also add chicken, but can you dice the chicken instead of slicing it? And I need some jalapeños on the side, but diced, not sliced.’ Not cool.”
Bonus: Spotted in the children’s section of a Reject Shop