Bonus: Could this be the dumbest forum post ever?
Written by funnyordie
According to the Pew Research Center, 18% of Americans believe Obama is a Muslim. Most likely, the same people also hate Muslims. Put it together, and there’s a chance that one in five Americans hate our President because of his supposed religion.
A huge number of Americans believe that the moon landing was staged. Aside from the sheer stupidity of that, it raises a bigger question: If it was faked, how would Buzz Aldrin be bedding lady space groupie after space groupie if he hadn’t actually been on the moon? He would not. Thus, real.
I know Americans have a tendency to be a bit self-involved, but this is a bit much. According to a Gallup poll in 1999, 18% believed that the earth was the center of the universe. On a side note, 3% said “no opinion.” Those folks could not be bothered with such pedestrian quandaries.
Oh, and for those 18% who believe this, that picture is Galileo. That guy knew his shit.
One in three Americans believe in Ghosts. All Americans believe in Ghost. Both have no business existing.
As of a couple years ago, nearly one-third of Texans believed that dinosaurs and humans roamed the earth at the same time. Yup. Oh, and at least one Alaskan, as well.
A 2004 study showed that 51% of Americans believed in Creationism. Over half of the people in this country thought humans just showed up one day and were ready for homeschooling.
So you know that oil spill that ruined the ocean, killed thousands of animals, and pretty much brought the country to a standstill? Environmentalists fault. It’s so obvious, I can’t believe only 10% believe this. To save what you love, you must sacrifice it. Those sick bastards.
It’s an old study, but not much has changed since 1999 in regard our nation’s knowledge of Alien life forms. And that’s unfortunate, as 80% of Americans believe the country’s keeping something under wraps in Roswell. Actually puts the rest of the list in perspective, doesn’t it?
Over half are convinced of this. Well, after that aliens stat, you can’t be that shocked.
Bonus:The most sadistic thing ever invented, but I haven’t over-snoozed in 2 weeks now
Collected by topcultured
This is an amazing correspondence by a young Wendy from March, 1964. Seems she was a huge fan of Woody Woodpecker but gots his creator mixed up. She thought Walt was behind the mischevious bird when it is in fact Walter Lantz. Lucky for Wendy, Disney knows people in high places and was able to forward the message along.
It’s awesome to see that her letter got to that right person and that he was able to respond.
March 7, 1964
Dear Walt Disney,
I watch Woodywood Pecker every week and see you on it. I like it very much and so do my younger sisters. Would you please send me a picture of you and some of the characters. Thank-you very much. Well, I guess I’ll go and watch Bugs Bunny.
From one of your true fans,
April 6, 1964
Dear Wendy –
Even though Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, Pluto, Ludwig Von Drake and the rest of our characters aren’t related to Woody Woodpecker, I’m glad to know you like him because he belongs to my good friend Walter Lantz. And I know Mr. Lantz will appreciate knowing you are a fan of Woody Woodpecker.
I am enclosing the autographed picture of me and a couple of my friends which you asked for….and I’m sending your note on to Woody Woodpecker. Perhaps you will get a picture from him, too.
Many thanks for your letter…and all best wishes.
April 6, 1964
Dear Walter –
As you can see by the enclosed….I get blamed for everything that happens in Hollywood!
However, this time it’s obvious this little girl has her Walters crossed — although I don’t know how the hell Bugs Bunny got in the act.
All best –
Mr. Walter Lantz
Walter Lantz Productions Inc
8 April 1964
WALT DISNEY, A PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE, SENT ME YOUR LETTER REQUESTING A PHOTO OF OF WOODY.
IT’S NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU LIKE WOODY WOODPECKER AND YOU ARE ENJOYING OUR TELEVISION SHOW.
Bonus: Yesterday I was feeling lonely
Via: Medical Insurance
Written by funnyordie
This one’s a no-brainer. The go-to, the classic breakup default; everyone does some serious whistle-wetting for at least six months after a real heart scrambling. But hey, there’s a reason the cliche is as alive as it’s ever been. Though you may be doing no good for yourself whatsoever, you’re about to write (what your soupy brain thinks is) the best screenplay/song that’s ever been written.
The iPhone app that took online Scrabble to a whole new level. Simultaneous, limitless games that have revolutionized the waiting room/car ride/morning dump experience. And there’s a chat feature–who needs a significant other when you can play all the mobile Scrabble you’ve ever dreamed of, and be able to smack talk your opponents? “Triple word score, suck it.”
You’re sick of spending the dough for organics. You’re sick of that expensive restaurant with “locally grown” ingredients. You’re fucking hungry and you want some food. Fast. Hot Pockets Side Shots; a microwavable, meal-filled bun that Dave Thomas probably thought of on ecstasy while banging his wife.
You’ve been wondering what it’d be like to wake up, you know, comfortably. There’s another world on the other side of that mattress, and now it’s yours to take over and start your day without feeling like you just slept in a pack of Parliament Lights.
Unlimited hours of TV and movies. For only eight dollars a month. And you can watch whatever the hell you want. No more trying to explain the magic of a great film because your date is too busy texting, no more arm falling asleep while you finish off the burnt popcorn, and no more fights halfway through the movie because of titties.
Bonus: How to Get Your Neighbor’s Dog to Shut Up
Collected by William Melton
In honor of yesterday’s epic “Dead Girl” Google Street Bomb, as reported by Gawker, we’ve put together a list of the top ten Google Street View Photobombs.
10. Horse Boy
A masked man from Scotland decided it was time to creep out the nation.
9. Seagull Bomb
No, it’s not a scene from a Hitchcock remake. It’s just a bird that really likes the camera.
8. Drunk Dude
This lad from Northern Australia decided to take a little nap on his lawn after a night of drinking.
7. Where’s Waldo
Waldo is no match for global satellite technology. I’m still waiting for Carmen Sandiego to pop up.
6. Inflatable Date
We applaud this man for his absolute shamelessness.
Pop Goes the Week
5. Two Guys Peeing
Hey, when it’s time to go, it’s time to go!
4. One Girl Peeing (At least, we hope she’s peeing)
Not to be outdone by the boys, this girl really goes for it and pops a squat right behind her car. Well, assuming it is her car, but you never know with people like this.
3. Gun-Toting Badass
Hopefully, this guy doesn’t work at a Post Office.
Our favorite role-playing photobombers barely missed the top honors.
1. Mermen Battle It Out
They win for the four prong spear head, because that’s almost a trident and tridents are awesome.
Finally, to honor these spear-wielding, crazy scuba guys, we’re including the greatest trident moment in cinematic history.
Written by Jesus Diaz
His name: Christian Owens. His age: 16. He made his first million dollars in two years, “inspired by Apple’s CEO Steve Jobs”. This is how he did it.
The British teen—who lives in Corby, Northamptonshire—got his first computer age seven. Three years later he got a Mac and taught himself web design. Four years later—at age 14, in 2008—he started his first company. It was a simple site that some of you may know: Mac Bundle Box. The site was pretty, rooted into Apple’s own design guidelines and style.
The page sold a package of very neat Mac OS X applications for a discounted price and for a limited time. He would negotiate with the developers to get a discount deal on their apps. The resulting bundle had a combined retail value of around $400, but he would sell it for a tenth of that price.
Not only that: If enough people bought the package, a new application would get unlocked for all buyers, which guaranteed very good word-of-mouth promotion. And to top it all, Owens dedicated a percentage of all sales to charity.
The idea did well. Very well, in fact: In its first two years, Mac Bundle Box made $1,000,000 (700,000 British Pounds).
Not happy with that success, Owens jumped into a new venture called Branchr, a pay-per-click advertising company that distributes 300 million ads per month on over 17,500 websites, iPhone, and Android applications. The company, which claims to deliver “contextual, behavioral, publisher-defined, and geographically” targeted ads in those platforms, has already made $800,000 in its first year and employs eight adults including his 43-year-old mother, Alison.
He doesn’t know where he would be in 10 years, but the next thing he wants to do is to make one hundred million British pounds with Branchr. He seems to be on his way to success. He claims his business is growing strong—Branchr has already bought another company—and he reinvests all the money back into the company.
His secret to success? There’s no secret, he says:
There is no magical formula to business, it takes hard work, determination and the drive to do something great.
In an age of idiotized kids who can’t focus on anything, we salute you, Christian. [SWNS]
Bonus:Samurai Jack & Powerpuff Girls: Are they the same universe?