16 iPhone Apps Your Mother Will Kill You For Using

Written by appshopper


If you’ve ever been interested to see what you might look like after a breast augmentation or simply want to browse through breasts of all shapes and sizes for sport, iAugment is an app for those curious about cup-size.

Even if you’re not legitimately interested in plastic surgery it’s still fun.

Baby Shaker

First it was fire, then the wheel, then automobiles and airplanes – now we have the Baby Shaker app. It’s amazing what idle hands can create. Yes, the human race is a better place now that crying babies can be killed with just a few abrupt shakes. What would your mother say!?!

Beer, Women and Bad Decisions

Chances are good that as your mom’s first act as a proper matriarch, she counseled you on the pitfalls of beer, women and bad decisions. Lucky for you there is a crude “choose your own adventure” app that will help unravel any strand of remaining quality character that may have existed.


For when you want to look really badass by abusing hardcore drugs but are actually too chicken to go through with it, iSnort is a clever little app that makes anyone look like a nose candy veteran – cut it, snort it and enjoy the virtual nose bleed.

Girl Zoomer

For all future voyeurs and aspiring Peeping Toms, the Girl Zoomer is a novelty app that turns your iPhone camera into a pair of binoculars with a 4x zoom. While you could use this handy app for a quality bird identification excursion, the name suggests that you use your powers for good.


Those days of generic toy guns just got up-ended by the Bang!Bang! app that allows users to toggle between realistic revolvers and shotguns on their hand-held screen. Mothers everywhere are surely excited about their children receiving free gun handling lessons from their phones.

While you’re at it, go play with strangers!


This just in, now drug dealers only have to carry two bits of paraphernalia rather than three! That’s right, the days of carrying your phone, your drugs and that pesky scale are gone because of the innovative iScale. Now, all you need is your phone and your drugs because the iScale app works double duty.

Adult Sex Life

Having problems in the bedroom? The name of the Adult Sex Life app leaves little to the imagination so, it may not come as a surprise to learn that this sexy software is essentially a digital Kama Sutra guide. With just a couple clicks this app teaches all that you should have learned in the high school locker-room.

Dirty Truth or Dare

We’ve all played Truth or Dare at an adolescent party in our friend’s basement but this adult app brings it to a new lusty level. Reminiscent of something you’d find at a swinger’s party, this adult party favor is an encyclopedia of dirty truths and a photo gallery of the naughty dares. Hint: always go for the dare!


Like a child always wanting to play with his friend’s toys, men have long and always been fascinated with the boobs they don’t have. The Wobble app is rather mindless but oh so brilliant – simply upload a picture of anything you’d like to see wobble (is there any other option?), and watch it/them come to life.


Need pot in a hurry? There’s an app for that. Yes, the Cannabis app helps users (pardon the pun) locate legal medical marijuana wherever it’s offered in such an easy format that even blurry-eyed stoners can use it.


Though this app doesn’t actually include any fully nude images (damn!), your mother might raise a fuss over the Playboy app. Built for viewing Playboy’s various interviews, advice columns and Playmate videos, at least you won’t be lying when you say you read it for the articles.

BulletFlight 1.0

From the creators of Columbine and the DC Snipers comes the BulletFlight app. This program literally turns your iPhone into a legitimate ballistics-calculating computer that can be attached to your gun of choice.

To add to the taboo, this app was released on the same day of Barack Obama’s inauguration.


For the vintage movie buffs of the world, the Slasher app was innocently created as homage to a classic – a classic that your mother wouldn’t let you watch. It’s simple but sadistic; your phone simply displays a picture of a knife but when shaken, the Psycho theme is played and your killing fantasies are brought to life.

Porn Star Names LITE

For the aspiring porno stars of the world, this simple app can help you get your start by creating your alias. Though there are a couple apps that will help you generate your swinger stage name, your mother might disapprove of some of the images within this particular interface.


With a technology such as this, even your mother would have to applaud the ingenuity. The Spoof app helps you to shamelessly prank-call by allowing you to mask the phone number that shows up on the victim’s caller-ID, lets you manipulate your voice for disguise and even allows you to record the conversation for posterity.


Bonus:Meanwhile, in Japan…

8 thoughts on “16 iPhone Apps Your Mother Will Kill You For Using

  1. Shawn

    Thanks for the recognition! I can only hope that “Beer, Women, and Bad Decisions” can break new ground for desperate folks.

    Shawn Harris – Author

Comments are closed.