Top 10 Things Female Gamers Hear on Xbox Live

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As a female gamer, you hear a lot of different comments on Xbox Live from random players. It doesn’t take you long to realize that the majority of jerks on Live are not the most creative of people. You tend to hear the same comments over and over and often times verbatim. Each person thinks they are the first person ever to say that. Yes, you are that smart and original. And by smart and original I mean you are the one millionth dumb ass to say that to me.

To everybody that has said these things to females online in the past and to those of you that will be saying them in the future, please come up with some new material. I say this on behalf of all female gamers that frequent Xbox Live. These comments have been heard time and time again. You are not quite as witty as you think. But we all knew that already.

Top 10 Things Female Gamers Hear on Xbox Live

Are you a girl? You can’t be a girl. Everybody knows girls don’t play video games.*
I don’t expect that you would know much about girls as you obviously don’t interact with any. Ever.

Are you playing on your brother’s/boyfriend’s account?*
Well clearly it’s not my own. Everybody knows girls don’t play video games and thus don’t have their own accounts. I don’t even think Microsoft lets females purchase their own accounts actually. I think I read that in the fine print somewhere.

You must be a fat and ugly since you play video games.*
How did you know? But of course all males that play video games are ridiculously hot. Every last one of them. Including you.

Shouldn’t you be playing Barbie Horse Adventures?*
I’ve already beaten it over 10 times. I rock at that game! Just every once in a while I need a break from it.

Hey sweetheart/beautiful/baby doll. How you doing?*
So much better now that you are here, thanks.

Dude. Dude! Are you a girl? Will you be my friend? Dude, accept my friend request! Let’s hook up!*
Yes please! Because I really am that incredibly desperate for friends. And hook ups as well.

How old are you? Where do you live? Do you have a MySpace page?*
I will share all of that information with you as long as you promise to stalk me. Frequently.

Girls belong in the kitchen. Go make me a sandwich.*
I am in the kitchen making a sandwich. I just beat you playing with one hand.

Are you a boy? When are your balls gonna drop?*
They already did. And your mom tells me I have the manliest voice ever. Every night. At least twice.

You sound hot! I bet you’re hot. Are you hot?*

42 thoughts on “Top 10 Things Female Gamers Hear on Xbox Live

  1. bob

    HaHa a girl – trying to post about gaming. You must be like fat and ugly, go make me a sandwich… Now!

  2. lmao

    haha a gurl posting about video games haha makes me rofl. I agree with above poster go make me a sandwich… on the double!!!

  3. Mr_FJ

    Nice thread ๐Ÿ™‚ Comments like the ones you posted is so imature…
    Ofcourse girls play video games to. Only fat old horny men and 6 years old boys live in a world where a woman is a slave and the man fights.
    (Real figthing from the old mens view, games figthing for the kids.)
    Oh by the way, im a 16 year old boy.. if anyone cares… ๐Ÿ˜›

  4. cin

    Lol, these are so true. I hear #1 a lot, but it’s usually followed by laughs all around. Most involved guys tell me they wish their girlfriends/ wives would get into gaming.

  5. moo

    hints to enjoy online games like xbox live: no headset
    you can turn off the voice in the options

    im a guy and i dont talk to uneducated losers who eat mcdonalds and play all day, or the ones who talk like wiggers making ‘your mom’ jokes or “im going to get on my computer and get your ip and log you off’

    sorry but… i dont think you can. i just laugh at how funny it is they accually think they are funny, then usually they just stop talking.

    besides my real friends when we occasionally play i have send 1 request to a person

  6. john

    yeah moo, same here, after about 20mins of having the headset on if im not on with a mate in private chart il turn it off. i get sick of people arguing whose better americans or british and about how hard they are and how they darent say that to their face ect. fact is their all talk because they know they will never see one another. and if they had the slightest insight into politics and so on they would construct their arguments about britain and america a little better, but they are blinded by their insolence and enourmous testicles. (because they dont ever get laid)

  7. Jerry

    This is very funny! sometimes one have to sit down relax and have some fun. even when finding people like those who are used to say this things (top 10). but if we are more tolerant, jokes made on us are even funny. at the end of the day the only thing that cares is how much fun have you had. peace!!!

  8. IckyStyickyIcky is my gamertag

    I don’t even know what to say to a “guy” who can’t handle verbal confrontation over the internet. You’re a pussy. Add me and get owned; not only in-game, but i’ll verbally penetrate your life.

  9. Whitiy XboXLive Cod4

    Why are womans feet so small?
    So they can stand closer to the kitchen counter…

    What happens when your dishwasher breaks?
    Divorce it.

    Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
    Because she’s a woman

    Wanna hear somethin really funny?
    Womans rights


  10. Tina Anderson

    I love to play video games and I don’t think people would consider me to be fat or ugly. Also, where is the rule that girls can’t play video games with fighting or play sports games? These are other stereotypes I hear often.

  11. time machine playback

    lol! Good job! I look forward to meeting you in combat though! I met an ex girlfriend in a gamestop. She was wild as he$$ and could whip a!! in halo. She was better than most of my friends that were hardcore gamers since quake times(thats befor most of you phoneys were born!)

  12. time machine playback

    lol! Good job! I look forward to meeting you in combat though! I met an ex girlfriend in a gamestop. She was wild as he$$ and could whip a!! in halo. She was better than most of my friends that were hardcore gamers since quake times(thats befor most of you phoneys were born!) She could shred a halfpipe, hit rails, and out drink most men twice her size. She also paid for her own games and xbox live,which most loser male gamers rely on their parents.In short girls are waaay cooler to play with than dudes. But i know some of you preferr it the other way, lol!

  13. Jessica

    HA! I’ve heard all of these!!! I have a really girlie name on XBox live and ALL of the guys talk shit….

  14. Haha funny funny

    Umm hey shortie, wanna get down on some B-ball and whoever loses has to shut the fudge-uck up? j/k you are too dumb of a hizzo to play anything with ๐Ÿ˜› ur pal Jack arsh-kin.

  15. Aaron

    I disagree with everyone. females have just the equal right to play video games as males do.

  16. Cafeman999

    thats my gamertag. i think playing with girls is fun. most of them r really nice. all u jerks that make fun of them need to get a life.

  17. Jen

    Of course girls play video games… check out and you will see, women getting paid to play video games, and no we’re not fat, nor ugly, and we have lives… most people say I’ve never played with a girl gamer, chances are you have just none of them have said anything to you… we are 1200 girls and growing.. welcome to the year 2008… get over yourselves…

  18. DATYsoNICE

    Anyone ever heard of the pornstar Asia Carrera? She was the freakin World Champion at Unreal Tournament. She’d mope the floor with any of you morons! Not only that… she’s a hot pornstar!! What more could a guy (or a girl if ur into that) ask for!!!
    ; )

  19. ethan

    girls r actually pretty good at video games and they learn quicker too. Guys just spend too much time bcause we dnt have lives

  20. Carl Powell

    I think girls should be able to play video games without being criticised, whats the problem with that? its only meant to be a bit of fun and some people take it way to seriously, its all about having fun for me and so it should be for every one else, i will look forward to playing against some of you girls online some time peace ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. Amber Nicole XD

    Uhm, I’m a qirl && i hear that stuff all the time so it doesnt faze me anymore. And next time I make a sandwhich for a douchebaq like the rest of the quys commentinq im qoinq to spit in it – So enjoy youur sandwhich FUCKERS !!

  22. EpicZeny

    A small portion respect women gamers, and one day, the rest of the gamers will pretend to be over 12 years old and will respect the fact that by 2012 the male gaming population will be the minority. be prepared to see more barbie dream horse or other female oriented games that you have probably already played and liked not knowing who they were designed for.

  23. dude

    The day my butt was handed to me on SFIV by my sixteen year old sister… well… my mother frowned at my expletives, and my sis had this satisfied smirk on her face. lol. I taught her well.

  24. Pondie

    in fifth I was told that girls couldn’t play gamer games (it happened to be magic:the gathering) and i lost interest. in college all my guy gamer friends were plenty pissed to hear that. Now ive got a boyfriend willing to take the time to teach me to play video games. look out stupid boys! I am a vicious girl

  25. w00d

    well this article is true,Jerks online,but weaklings in real life :P. i didnt believe that girls play games until i met one.and yes my sisters play xbox games too mostly L4D2

  26. Smitty

    The girl that made this blog is probably ugly herself and prolly got so pissed off and offended from what the ppl told her on xbox live that she had to waste her time to make a blog just bitching about it. hahaha way to go.


    you ppls are funny. my gf would stomp most guys out there. there once was a time when i charged ppl to teach them. in a matter of 2 months or less my gf went pro. so ppl who think girls cant play, i laugh. you think that ur good she’ll woop u anytime COD6MW2. ROFLMAO. its way more cool to hear a girl then some ra-tard who THINKS they’re good. if u r good u dont think it, u KNOW it.


    another thing is that i used to play with a few of the girls in the PMS clan on GRAW2 and COD4. i think that some girls ask for it by CAMPING. also guys are always making fun of other guys, so if girls want to play they should learn to laugh it off like me and gf do. just have fun and find another room. my gf is not even close to FAT or UGLY she actually lokks just like alicia keys. but when guys say she must be FAT and UGLY she just agrees and adds “plus i just wooped ur ass”. also u forgot that girls always get called CUNTS, WHORES, SLUTS and of course HOES. lets get off the subject of girls playing XBL. how-about a much more troubling subject is BLACK PPL playing XBL. ignorant idiots always nigga, nigga, nigga with those faggots. and they talk the most shyt about girls. they get extra extra mad when girls beat them which is everytime they touch the sticks.


    just one more thing to all the fags in the UK. if you guys could actually be gamers you would produce your own consoles. only JAPs and us “fat” americans. its funny that the last time i ate at a McD’s is over 6 yrs. one more thing whenever you see a British guy on the Internet or TV he is some ugly, rotten toothed, and cant even pronounce words in the language that you ppl started. we even took your syntax and your grammar and made it easier to understand so if your british do us a favor and UNPLUG your MIC cause no one can understand your elementry speaking abilities. maybe try your luck on PS3.

  30. Alayna

    This is beyond hilarious. I had some quick comebacks already picked out, but I'll be using some of these next time I'm on live. Thanks!

  31. Mr.? my dad name is mr

    I’m not a jackass and pretty sure im not a dumb ass either… I happen to think its fucked up how girl get done on Live that’s why you don’t hear from em online and they probably muted you.

  32. Mr.? my dad name is mr

    I’m not a jackass and pretty sure im not a dumb ass either… I happen to think its fucked up how girl get done on Live that’s why you don’t hear from em online and they probably muted you.

    Ps: If any girl wants to add me my gamer tag is : I’m just fuckin witcha

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