Monthly Archives: July 2007

12 Hilarious Tombstones

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A good epitaph is considered to be one that is memorable, or at least makes one think… but the next 10 epitaphs are going to make you wanna die… laughing! They decided to have one last laugh. Never knew cemeteries could be so funny!

This stone is located in the Notre-Dame-des-Neiges Cemetery, Montreal. Who penned this unusual epitaph and why is not known. But the Montreal Mirror found the man who engraved the headstone, but were only able to determine that the guy’s (who’s burried) ex-wife and mistress came in together and ordered the stone. They said that it was a thing between the three of them. So think twice before you cheat your wife! (Note: this story was confirmed by snopes)

So simple and yet so telling…

Yes, it’s an actual tombstone for a CCNA who died from a virus attack

Niagara Falls – Canada

“Here lies the most picked-on man in history”

Arrest this man!

Rest in peace sir, comfortable in the knowledge college students will forever get high upon your final resting place.

“The Death of Funk”

See ya later!
In Lakewood Cemetery, Minneapolis, Minnesota

“Here lies my Wife / in Earthy Mold / Who when she Died / and naught but Scold / Good Friends go softly / in your walking / Lest she should Wake / and Rise up Talking”

Yes, please.

Did you just gave me the finger?

Sources: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12

20 Dates for Under $20

Written By Sarah Pierce

Who says romance has to cost an arm and a leg?

With great weather and a desire to be adventurous, there’s no excuse for you and your partner not to go on a date. Don’t have enough money, you say? Here are 20 ideas for memorable dates that won’t set you back more than $20.

1. Find the best happy hour in town. Look through your newspaper or search online for local restaurants and bars with happy hours. Most places offer half-price food and drink specials, allowing you to get two drinks and share an appetizer for less than $20.

2. Go to a museum. Most museums either have free admission or offer free entry on certain days of the month.

3. Visit your local zoo. Most zoos offer adult tickets for less than $10. Pack your own snacks and bottled water and have a mini picnic while you’re there.

4. Go on a romantic hike. Bring a backpack and surprise your partner with a bottle of champagne, glasses and fresh strawberries.

5. Go swimming at your local pool, lake or beach. Bring some water toys and have more fun than the kids.

6. Beat the heat with an ice cream date. Take two scoops to the park, or take a walk downtown and go people watching.

7. Hit the dollar movie theater. Lots of cities have discount movie theaters showing second-run features. Pick a rainy day and have a movie marathon.

8. Take a downtown walking tour. Discover things and places you never knew existed. While you’re there, pick up a free visitors guide for more date ideas.

9. Plan a cheap picnic. Go on a picnic at the beach, mountains or in your own backyard. Grab a blanket, pack a deli sandwich and a bottle of $5 wine.

10. Take a blanket to the beach. Split your budget between a bottle of wine and cheese, then enjoy the sunset while you snuggle on a blanket.

11. Stroll through the botanical gardens. Spend the day walking hand in hand through rose gardens and tropical rainforests, for less than $10 a ticket.

12. Be a kid again. Go bowling, play miniature golf, ride go-carts or play laser tag.

13. Build a bonfire. All you need is some firewood, snacks and a drink of your choice. This is also a great opportunity to make ‘smores.

14. Rent something. Go roller- or ice-skating, rent a two-seater bike and pedal through the park, or paddle a boat on a pond.

15. Paint pottery together. Lots of studios let you get creative for around $6 an hour.

16. Pitch a tent. Park fees are usually less than $10, which leaves money for food and firewood. Go camping and roast hot dogs as you gaze at the stars.

17. Go wine tasting. Most wineries charge around $5 for a tasting of five different wines — plus,you’ll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date.

18. Take a scenic drive. Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice cafe.

19. Explore local galleries and artists. Many cities have art walks one night a month during the summer, with the bonus of a free glass of wine.

20. Rack ’em up at your local pool joint. With pool games costing less than $2, you might even have money left over to share a pitcher of beer.

101 Greatest Simpsons Quotes

Written by James A

The SimpsonsIf “The Simpsons” have taught us anything it’s that two-dimensional characters are funnier than three-dimensional ones. There are as many great Simpsons quotes as there are Republicans in hell, which is another way to say “a lot.” For 18 years the residents of Springfield have been piling up the wittiest quotes ever uttered on TV. So, before the animated series hits the silver screen next week, here are the best quotes in Simpsons television history, in no particular order?

  1. Homer: D’oh.
  2. Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.
  3. Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
  4. Sideshow Bob: No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.
  5. Troy McClure: Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!
  6. Comic Book Guy: The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity?
  7. Homer: Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
  8. Ned Flanders: I’ve done everything the Bible says – even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!
  9. Comic Book Guy: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies.
  10. Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1?2.
  11. Sideshow Bob: I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.
  12. Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power?like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
  13. Nelson: Dad didn’t leave? When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!
  14. Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
  15. Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
  16. Comic Book Guy: Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
  17. Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
  18. Homer: Save me, Jeebus.
  19. Mayor Quimby: I stand by my racial slur.
  20. Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
  21. Homer: You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
  22. Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the?uh?what cures cancer?
  23. Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like?love!
  24. Homer: Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
  25. Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin?but what good does *that* do me?
  26. Chief Wiggum: Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!
  27. Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals?except the weasel.
  28. Reverend Lovejoy: Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom.
  29. Homer: You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity.
  30. Smithers: Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.”
  31. Hans Moleman: I was saying “Boo-urns.”
  32. Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  33. Homer: Here’s to alcohol, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems.
  34. Homer: When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
  35. Chief Wiggum: I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
  36. Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
  37. Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
  38. Duffman: Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO!
  39. Grandpa Simpson: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.
  40. Homer: Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
  41. Troy McClure: Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”
  42. Homer: A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds?it makes ice.
  43. Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
  44. Homer: Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
  45. Mr. Burns: I’ll keep it short and sweet – Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
  46. Kent Brockman: ?And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
  47. Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
  48. Apu: Please do not offer my god a peanut.
  49. Homer: You don’t win friends with salad.
  50. Mr. Burns: I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.
  51. Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?
  52. Chief Wiggum: They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.
  53. Mr. Burns: Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?
  54. Homer: He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?!
  55. Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds? Oh, I’ve wasted my life.
  56. Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
  57. Superintendent Chalmers: I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children?
  58. Mr. Burns: What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?
  59. Homer: Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.
  60. Ralph:Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.
  61. Homer: Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?
  62. Frink: Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is? Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing?
  63. Apu: Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work.
  64. Milhouse: We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
  65. Mr. Burns: A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow?and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.
  66. Homer: Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
  67. Milhouse: Look out, Itchy! He’s Irish!
  68. Homer: I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
  69. Smithers: I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.
  70. Barney: Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
  71. Principal Skinner: That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.
  72. Sideshow Bob: Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!
  73. Barney: Jesus must be spinning in his grave!
  74. Superintendent Chalmers: “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.
  75. Mr. Burns: [answering the phone] Ahoy hoy?
  76. Comic Book Guy: Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that’s a *really* useful invention!
  77. Marge: Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.
  78. Homer: What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.
  79. Marge: Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train!
  80. Bill Gates: I didn’t get rich by signing checks.
  81. Principal Skinner: Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.
  82. Homer: Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.
  83. Homer: And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker.
  84. Comic Book Guy: Human contact: the final frontier.
  85. Homer: I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
  86. Krusty the Clown: And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.
  87. Homer: I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
  88. Dr. Nick: Inflammable means flammable? What a country.
  89. Homer: Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.
  90. Comic Book Guy: Stan Lee never left. I’m afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition.
  91. Nelson: Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.
  92. Krusty the Clown: Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box?
  93. Milhouse: I can’t go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency.
  94. Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  95. Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
  96. Apu: Thank you, steal again.
  97. Homer: Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman – and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.
  98. Ed Begley Jr.: I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.
  99. Bart: I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.
  100. Homer: How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
  101. Homer: Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

Pass your ccde as well as ccent and mcpd exam with certkiller in first attempt guaranteed!

Man Made: Five Things Made for Men That Are Better on Women

Written by Mario Frassetto

Some things in life were just made for men. But as usual, women just can’t let us have our own stuff, now can they? But sometimes that’s a good thing?

ow and again, some of the things that were originally designed with the X and Y chromosome in mind actually look pretty damn sexy on the ladies. Here are our top 5.

Boy briefs/boxers/booty shorts

It all started with the tighty whiteys, the most common and widespread (we’re assuming here, no pun intended) underwear around. Then came Spiderman and Star Wars? etc, underroos. The underwear that let you “dress up” as your favorite superhero, even if you were jumping around essentially in your drawers. And then we grew up. And after a wild night of sex, some woman somewhere picked up a pair briefs and ran to the bathroom to freshen up. History was made and on the right body, it looks damn sexy.


The necktie. While a symbol of corporate oppressors, when placed in the right hands, or around the right neck, it becomes a symbol of sexiness. After a hard day of work in the cubicle, some after 5:00 sex can lead to a female-wearing necktie. Don’t forget that the tie can be used during the action as well, leading to all sorts of restrained debauchery. Not only does it look good, but also there’s something special about the scent of a woman on your favorite shirt. It can make the workday fly by.

Sports Jerseys/Your favorite shirt

There is nothing sexier than a woman sporting an open, button-up business shirt. Add the boy briefs or tie and it’s a double whammy. Again, a fashion statement born of post-sex clothing confusion, waking up to your girl in your favorite shirt or sports jersey is beyond compare. Just hope that she doesn’t spill something on it or rip it, as the moment will surely pass and there will be some explaining to do.

Baseball Hats

hile a staple in any self-respecting man’s wardrobe, the baseball hat has crossed the fashion gap with spectacular results. A quick and convenient way to pull back or hide a woman’s bed-head, it has also become a fashion statement with designer lids. No one is sure why, but it’s unanimous that a woman in a hat looks damn good. Just be careful of the ones that have them pulled down waaay to far, chances are they’re trying to hide something. Like their face.


Ok, we’re not disagreeing that throwing a half-naked (or completely naked) babe on a sport bike is sexy. That it is and we love to see it. But there’s something unbelievably erotic about a chick that not only looks good posing on a bike, but can actually ride the thing as well. The riding position alone makes the female form bend into desirability. An arch in the back, her ass up and out while her chest hovers tantalizingly over the gas tank. It only gets bad for us guys when she’s faster than you. And it can happen.

*Bonus points if you can get a woman to wear boy briefs, a baseball hat, your favorite shirt and rides a motorcycle. In “researching” this story I was actually offered this scenario and I’ll be dammed if I don’t collect on it. You know who you are.

15 Unfortunately Placed Ads

Written by

Advertising can be creative and even purposely funny. But sometimes, an ad on a bad place can have unexpected results! Here is a list of 15 unfortunately Placed Ads.

Ad on the bus reads: “If you don’t gave GIO Third Party Property Insurance, we suggest you don’t hit this bus”

For businessmen in canada hosting services are not a dilemma anymore. There are hosting services like hostmonster that offer email hosting as well as a number of other features.

9 things Firefox should steal from Safari

Written by Des Traynor

Pic of Safari Compass icon

Apple recently launched Safari on Windows. This was done to make it easy for all developers to write applications for the iPhone. While announcing it, Steve Jobs indirectly said that he plans to take Firefoxs throne as the second most popular browser on the market. I don’t think Steve wants to oust Firefox, perhaps he didn’t want to outright declare war on Internet Explorer, but realistically if Safari succeeds it will be stealing I.E users, not Firefox ones. And if you look at the pasting that iTunes has given Windows Media Player, I’d say it’s quite possible that this will happen. I installed Safari recently to have a look, and whilst it’s nowhere near Firefox, it’s still ahead of Internet Explorer, so it could do very well on the Windows desktop, and may take another chunk off the IE market share.

Once Apple bundle Safari, Quicktime and iTunes together as part of the “stuff you need for your iPod/iPhone”, they’ll immediately be able to claim that they’ve beaten the pants off Firefox for downloands, but it’s not a real victory. People who use Firefox will probably ignore or delete the little compass on their desktop. Hopefully Apple won’t piss us off like they do with Quicktime and leave a desktop shortcut and icon in the system tray for it.

Sidenote: Does anyone ever launch Quicktime independently? Quicktime is a means to an end, no one starts it up and then thinks “Hmm, what apple trailer will I now go watch”, they click on the trailer and let Quicktime do its thing. Those shortcut icons are a joke.

Anyways, here are the features that I liked in Safari, that Firefox doesn’t already have by default (i.e. not in plugins)

  1. Highlight the current text field I know this is a Windows issue moreso than a Firefox one, but it’s ridiculous that it hasn’t been copied. If you’re filling out a long form and you regularly use tab and alt-tab, you can lose your cursor during the moment it’s blinking. This doesn’t happen with Safari because it also gives a nice blue glow the current text field. Here are pics of the Yahoo! login box in Safari, followed by Firefox
  2. Font rendering This one is a dividing issue, but I definitely prefer Apples font rendering over Windows. Maybe offer the better rendering as a Preference, or an extension at least.
  3. The Downloads dialog I just think Safaris one is nicer, it offers more useful features in context.
  4. HTML rendering Speeds It is noticeably faster at rendering web pages. Nuff said.
    Update, according to the guys at digg, it’s not enough to say something is “noticably faster”, even though that is all the end user cares about. If you’re going to comment saying Apples benchmarks are flawed, please provide conflicting ones. Bear in mind, a home user doesn’t care if it’s twice as fast, or 7 times as fast. They only care if they actually notice a difference!
  5. The bug reporter Safari has the nicest bug submission system going. Firefox’s one is good, but Apple has shown us the definitive way to report problems with software. It’s a fast unobtrusive dialog that just begs to be filled out. You click the bug, fill in box, and hit send. Then you go right back to whatever you were doing.
  6. The Find dialog – it looks great, it works great. It’s only a minor improvement over Firefox in my opinion, but none the less, it’s worth robbing. It tells you how many matches, highlights all matches clearly. When you close it, it leaves the highlighted text selected. All clever stuff. In comparison Internet Explorer 7 is still using the Internet Explorer 5 dialog from 1999. That company doesn’t give a fuck about the web. Click on the image to view the Safari dialog full size, and you’ll understand.
  7. Detachable tabs You can drag a tab out of the bar and spawn a new instance of Safari containing only that page. You wouldn’t think it, but this is quite useful.
  8. Draggable images You can drag an image right out of a web page onto your desktop. Every browser can do this. Well not really, Internet Explorer once again shows why the Windows Desktop Experience is Truly Fucked. If you drag an image from a web page to your desktop, which of the following do you want…
    • To have the cursor change to indicate a move operation, and then, when you release, have the filed copied to you desktop. (Firefox)
    • All of the above, with a beautiful transparent overlay of the image to show you exactly what’s going on (Safari)
    • To see another pathetic dialog. This is not a joke, although it wouldn’t be out place on Ok-Cancel. This is what IE7 asks you when you drag an image to your desktop?
  9. Resizable Text Areas This is handy, primarily because many companies provide a “Contact Us” form, with an area slightly smaller than an SMS message where you can write your questions. In Safari you just drag the text area to the size you want, and work away?

That’s all I’ve found so far, if anyone finds anything else interesting, please leave it in the comments. You never know, it might even get implemented.

Additions from the commenters

  1. RSS, sorry guys. I just checked that know, I was using Google reader before. That is definitely worth stealing
  2. Privacy Browsing, I only saw it there, but I can see it being useful.
  3. Only starting Media in Active TabWhen opening flash content (e.g. YouTube) in a new tab in the background, the flash content doesn’t start playing until the tab becomes visible.

Answers to Common Questions

  1. Yes, this is nitpicking. They’re all teeny tiny things, I know that. Firefox is “good enough” in all departments
  2. The download box is nicer in how it presents your options, and gives you more information without clicking. That’s all. Open containing folder is also clickable, rather than in a context menu. Minor stuff, but it’s the little things that make great interfaces
  3. To the people who keep saying “What about Extensions”, bear in mind that most firefox users don’t read digg, and reddit. They don’t install browser extensions, they just check their mail. So if they install Safari, and it has some nice extras, they will presume Safari is just better, regardless of what extensions are available.
  4. Brandon, go fuck yourself.
  5. Jerry, if you think that me skipping the retarded capitalisation that LaTeX promotes means I am ill-equipped to comment on it, then you’re wrong. End of story. I agree it is excellent for formatting scientific documents, I use it. I’ve even written guides to it, and posted them here. LaTeX, whilst the best option available, is frustrating as hell
  6. Supermike – I do serious web app development. I use Firefox full time. I appreciate it, it’s made my life much easier.
  7. xxdesmuxx – I just dragged an image out of Safari, it works. End of story. As for HTML performance, can you show me some of these benchmarks? I’m speaking from experience.
  8. Guys, please relax. It’s not like I’ve shot your kitten. I’ve just posted a few things I’d like to see, that’s all. If you disagree just state why without insult, and with backup. Thanks

Unrelated Links

  1. The beauty of LaTeX

    Everyone knows that LaTeX documents just look better than Word documents. This is an explanation of the font rendering. If Microsoft could copy this, it’d be excellent. Because let’s face it, Latex is a joke as far as markup languages go. Someone needs to make it a bit more like HTML/CSS, then it will be a good language for marking up the structure and presentation of documents.

  2. Look at the Firefox Growth in Europe It’s encouraging to see the recent spikes for Ireland, it’s a shame we’re still second from bottom

32 of the best video game commercials ever

Written by the gamer collective blog

Have E3 fatigue yet? Me neither, but while you?re cruising around the internets looking for something to watch in between refreshing every other gaming site out there, why not check out a few of the videos on this list?

This list is a list of what I consider to be among the best video game commercials. The most recent one on the list is, perhaps unsurprisingly, Halo 3 with the oldest one being a few old Atari commercials. I only chose a few Atari commercials because there?s so many awesomely bad Atari commercials, they almost warrant their own post. If you can think of any other note worthy commercials that I should have included feel free to curse my name and leave a comment about your choice in the comments.

    Xbox 360

  1. Halo ?Arms Race?

    Now this is arguably the best spot for any video game in recent memory. Not because it?s for what will probably be the biggest title of 2007, but because I?m sure it has more than one sole purpose. I?m sure it?s meant to get people excited about Halo 3, but with the fact that it?s done by Peter Jackon?s WETA crew and Neil Blomkamp, who almost teamed up with Fox to bring us a Halo movie, I?m sure that it?s also meant to drive the point home that a Halo flick done by these chaps would almost be the best movie ever made. I say almost because that UNSC armor looks a little weak. It needs to be tighter to the body or something because it honestly looks a little cheap. Other than that, I?m ready to get in line right now for Halo 3.

  2. Water Balloons for everyone!

    This is one spot that just looks like a good time. A city wide water ballooning would be good for the soul and we?d all get wet. Water Balloons = Good Times = the Xbox 360 apparently. Works for me.

  3. Human Cock Fighting (sounds dirty dunnit?)

    This one, that line, ?on has to imitate the posture of a fierce cock?, it?s too much! I can?t even watch this one and keep a straight face the whole time.

  4. The ?Mad World? Gears of War spot

    Of course, the Gears of War ?Mad World? trailer had to make the list. When this commercial debuted, it caught everyone off guard. First off, there?s no dramatic hard rock music or no grand sweeping composition. Just a quiet tune playing with this kick ass scenery. The fact that this commercial came out slightly before Gears of War was actually released also got everyone hyped for the game. It was the perfect ad at the perfect time.

  5. This pinata is not magical

    Sure the made-for-TV 30 second version of this Viva Pinata spot is pretty good on it?s own, but it?s the extended version that you need to see. I can?t even pick a favorite quote from this, they?re all good.

  6. Pretend gun fighting

    I?m not even sure if this is a genuine Xbox 360 commercial or not but dammit if it?s not entertaining to watch. I just hope that if this was a real audition, those two got whatever part they were going for because I really did think, if only for a second, that the lady was trying to shoot me. Frightening.

  7. The banned Xbox spot

    The projectile baby is what did this one in. For a second there, you?re not sure if what you?re seeing fly out of that woman is either some sort of baby goo (ewww), an actual baby, or some kind of projectile alien. Other than that, it?s an interesting take on how short life really is, and why you must play something on the Xbox.

  8. Everyone?s pretend trigger happy

    Here is another banned Xbox 360 commercial that I?m assuming was banned because everyone is pretending to shoot themselves, which apparently upsets old stuffy types. We don?t this falling into the hands of some crazed individual now do we? With the being said, this is still an awesome commercial. A lot of these early Xbox 360 commercials did a pretty good job of invoking that sense of group fun, with the waterballoons and human cock fighting and all, and this one is more of the same. That shot of the guy with in the car with the cell phone is priceless.

  9. Playstation 3

  10. Plastic Baby Dolls love the PS3

    This ad is slightly creepy and slightly awesome at same time. With the games flashing through his eyes while he?s crying (tears of joy?) backwards is an image I won?t soon forget?dammit.

  11. This is living – ?Surreal?

    This one makes about as much sense as the first one but if you think about it, it kind of does make sense. To me at least. I?m not sure how or why, but I understand it I guess. Not so much with the girl on the can at the end, but for the most part, I kind of ?get it?.

  12. This is living – the full length spot

    Here?s the full on, almost 6 minute and somewhat NFSW (girl riding dude, girl getting in the shower and dude pleasuring himself to soccer, yeah, wtf?!?) ?This is Living? spot. You see the whole cast and all the crazy scenarios. Seeing this spot as a whole brings a little more context to it, but it still is a bit odd. It does it?s job though.

  13. Nintendo Wii

  14. Hand drawn contest entry

    This one isn?t even an official Nintendo commercial! It was made by an entrant in a competition in an attempt to win the grand prize which was a Nintendo Wii. Even coming from it?s fanmade roots, I still think it?s broadcast quality. I hope the bloke won the competition he entered.

  15. Two guys and a Wii

    It?s not that these ads are particularly funny, it?s that they do a pretty good job of getting the point across. No matter who these guys visit, they all have a good time playing the Wii.

  16. Even the boss loves it

    and look! Even stuffy and frumpy big boss types love the Wii! Not only does he like it, it even manages to melt to cold heart. Emotional breakthroughs via the Wii ftw!

  17. Sony PSP

  18. Dude, Get your own pt 1

    Now these ?Dude, get your own? ads are funny, but not in a cheesy way. That is so annoying but it?s someone that anyone who has ever ridden a plane more than twice has had to sit next to. In real life, he would?ve been punched in the face.

  19. Dude, Get your own pt 2

    Even the bathroom isn?t sacred enough to this guy. Looks like the allure of the PSP is enough to overpower the stench of an airline bathroom. Good to know.

  20. Dude, Get your own pt 3

    Now this one may be the funniest bit out of the three. The cluster bombs is what had me rolling. ?Get up in there and shoot that!? and ?Cluster Bombs? are now the phrases of the day.

  21. PC

  22. Office Space World of Warcraft mashup

    This World of Warcraft Office Space ad is pretty much the perfect way to pay homage to all kinds of nerd and geekdom. It?s Office Space for crying out loud, a movie all of us (over 10) have seen numerous times and can relate to combined with the biggest PC game this side of Doom. It doesn?t get more geektastic than this.

  23. Leeroy Jenkins for the Spike VGA awards – ?Office?

    Sure this isn?t for World of Warcraft per se, but anybody who considers themselves anything close to a gamer knows about Leeroy Jenkins and has seen the videos, and that is what makes These spots so hilarious. This one with them in the office is my personal fav. Dammit Leeroy!

  24. Leeroy Jenkins for the Spike VGA awards – ?Elevator?

    The Elevator isn?t too bad either. Leeroy even fits some girl action into his ragefest.

  25. Leeroy Jenkins for the Spike VGA awards – ?Cake?

    And here?s the last one. Who doesn?t love cake because Leeroy Jenkins sure does. I only like 33.3% of most cakes?repeating of course.

    Playstation 2

  26. Human Pyramid

    This Playstation 2 ad is the type of ad Sony seems to be into and even more so lately with their ?This is Living? series of spots. This ad features no gameplay of any kind and no footage of the actual console itself. Just a bunch of people doing some kind of intense ?king of the hill? playing, all set to the cheecky sounds of the one and only Shirley Temple. Odd, but it works.

  27. Nintendo 64

  28. Marios vs Donkey Kong vs Yoshi vs Pikachu

    Now this commercial for the first Super Mario Brothers is definitely very close to the top of my personal all time favorites list. There?s just something about how Mario gut punches Yoshi that brings a sparkle and a twinkle to my eye.

  29. Gamecube

  30. Breastfeeding for Resident Evil 4

    This one wasn?t released here stateside for obvious reasons but still blew up pretty big on the internets. The game itself was a hit of course and this commercial was ?edgy? (what boobfeeding zombie isn?t?) enough to bring even more attention to one of the best Gamecube games.

  31. Animal Crossing in real life

    Everyone knows the Real World and apprently, it?s a lot like Animal Crossing! I thought this spot was pretty nice but the best looking animal crosser award would have to go to the one who looks like he?s stoned which is how many people play Animal Crossing I?m sure.

  32. Sega Dreamcast

  33. Bruce Campbell chases down neighbor for Evil Dead game

    This one for the Evil Dead: Hail to the King game that was released for the Dreamcast and a few other conosles, is pretty funny on it?s own, but what makes it that much more special is Bruce Campbell himself. Him chasing the neighbor makes me laugh every time.

  34. Sega Genesis

  35. Genesis does, what Nintendon?t

    Now this is what I?m talking about. Seeing that I was brought up on Sega consoles, I remember Sega?s ?Genesis does what Nintendon?t? ads as being the first video game ads that actually stuck with me and made me feel pretty good about owning a Genesis. Those Altered Beast and Sonic days will forever be burned into my mind as some of the happiest days of my life?almost.

  36. Sega!

    Yet another classic Sega Genesis line of adverts, was the whole series of Sega ads with some guy screaming ?Sega? at the end of every one. No matter what you had to say about Sega or whether you had a Genesis or not, we all knew the ads and we all did the scream. Sure it may have scared people but dammit, sometimes, people need scaring.

  37. NES

  38. Donkey Kong Country is not on Sega

    Sure Sega, back in the Genesis days, was pretty good at both making memorable ads and dissing Nintendo at the same time and it took Nintendo a while to come out with their first ?attack? ads. I?m not sure what the first ?sega sucks? ad was, but I know Nintendo played up the release of Donkey Kong Country as loud as they possibly could. Who doesn?t remember those all weekend all nighters we all pulled while playing this one until your thumbs hurt.

  39. The rapping Zelda commercial

    Do you like cheese? I hope so, because this spot has it in spades! I can just picutre it now, some marketing exec saying to his lackeys, ?and then we can have them rap! That?s what the kids are into these days, yes, more rapping!?. To sum it up, this one is good because it?s so bad.

  40. Atari

  41. Pole Position – ?You look like a real jerk!?, ?Well I am a corporate executive?

    Sure we?ve all probably seen this one by now but still, it?s kind of funny just to see how little of actual gameply footage appeared in these old skool commercials. How times have changed. pole position

  42. Elaborate Dig Dug spot

    Man did Atari put some time and into this one. Not only did they have all of kinds of people ?going crazy? for the classic Digg Dugg, but they even had a whole song and dance.

The Cheapest Days to Buy Certain Items

Written by Kelli B. Grant

Another day, another deal.

Thanks to online coupons, price-comparison search engines and reward memberships, savvy shoppers can pay less than full price on any day that ends in “y.” But depending on what you’re planning to buy, some days of the week may yield better bargains than others.

We talked to the experts, and narrowed down the best days of the week to buy certain items.

Airplane Tickets
When to Buy: Wednesday morning.
Why: “Most airfare sales are thrown out there on the weekend,” says travel expert Peter Greenberg, a.k.a. The Travel Detective. Other airlines then jump into the game, discounting their own fares and prompting further changes by the first airline. The fares reach their lowest prices late Tuesday or early Wednesday.

When to Buy: Thursday.
Why: Price compare between major chains Borders and Barnes & Noble. The former releases its weekly sales and coupons on every Thursday; the latter, every Tuesday.

When to Buy: Monday.
Why: “Car dealers live for the weekend, which is when they make most of their sales,” says Phil Reed, consumer advice editor for “On Mondays, the low foot traffic makes it seem like the weekend will never come.” That dealer desperation, paired with fewer consumers on the lot, give you more negotiating power.

When to Buy: Thursday evening.
Why: That’s the day when stores stock their shelves for the weekend, and when many retailers – including Ann Taylor, Banana Republic and Express – start their weekend promotions, says Kathryn Finney, author of “How to Be a Budget Fashionista.” You’ll find great prices and the best selection. “It’s an effort to get people to shop in the middle of the week,” she says.

Department-Store Wares
When to Buy: Saturday evening.
Why: Department stores have a lot to mark down for their Sunday circulars, so they frequently start the process on Saturday evenings before store closing, says Finney. “They’re preparing for the big rush,” she says. Bonus: Even if the markdowns haven’t been made, many employees will honor the sale price if you ask. Print out the circular preview from the store’s web site, and bring it with you when you head to the mall.

Dinner Out
When to Buy: Tuesday.
Why: Most restaurants do not receive food deliveries over the weekend. “Sunday is the garbage-can day of the week,” says Kate Krader, senior editor at Food & Wine magazine. “No doubt, they’re cleaning out their fridges. Tuesdays, they’re starting fresh.” Dining out on that day offers the best odds you’ll get a meal worth paying for, no matter your price point, she says.

When to Buy: Wednesday.
Why: Plenty of movie theaters, amusement parks and museums offer extra discounts to consumers who visit midweek. Six Flags theme parks offer a $12 discount to AAA members – three times its usual discount of $4. AMC Theatres offers members in its free AMC Movie Watcher reward program a free small popcorn on Wednesdays. (This summer, it’s also the day select theaters offer free Summer Movie Camp screenings.)

When to Buy: Thursday, before 10 a.m.
Why: The price of oil isn’t the only factor influencing costs at your local pump. Consumer usage plays a role, too – and weekend demand is high, says Jason Toews, co-founder of, a price-monitoring site. Prices usually swing upward on Thursdays as travelers fuel up to head out the following day. By hitting the pump before 10 a.m. (when many station owners change their prices), you’ll beat the rush and the price jump.

When to Buy: Sunday – or Tuesday.
Why: Maximize savings by combining store sales, which run from Wednesday to Tuesday, with the latest round of coupons from your Sunday paper, says Mary Hunt, publisher of Debt-Proof Living, a money-saving newsletter. “It’s a smart idea to wait until you have those in hand to match up with the week’s sale items,” she says.

To snag savings on items you don’t need just yet, shop on Tuesday, advises Hunt. Chances are, the store will have run out of the sale items. “That means you can pick up rain checks, which allow you to buy those items later when you need them, and at the sale price,” she says.

Hotel Rooms
When to Buy: Sunday.
Why: There are two kinds of hotel managers, and the kind that won’t give you a discount on your room rate has Sundays off, says Greenberg. Call the hotel directly, and ask to speak with the manager on duty or the director of sales. These employees are open to negotiation, he says. They’d rather have a booked room at a discounted rate than an empty room. (The rest of the week, your call would get you a so-called revenue manager, who monitors profits – and is rarely willing to lower rates.)

How to Show-Off Your New iPhone in a Totally 100% Dignified Manner

Written by Hog Wild

1 – Allow others to benefit from your iPhone

A man on the street asks you if you have the time.

YOU: Sure.

Then <FLASH!> you whip out your iPhone, hold it up high, waving it around so everyone can see its impressive “clock” function.

YOU: Anyone else need to know the time?!!! Because I? HAVE? AN iPHONE!!!

2 – Use your iPhone to save a life

You are on a date in a restaurant. A man is having a heart attack!

YOU: Coming through! I’ll take care of it! I’m an iPhone owner!

Then you simultaneously call emergency services while accessing Wikipedia instructions on how to perform CPR. To keep the man’s wife from panicking, you calm her down by showing her amusing videos of cats wearing silly hats.

DOCTOR: This iPhone owner is a hero! Without his amazing access to information and amusing videos of cats wearing silly hats, we’d have a dead man and a nervous wife. Instead, this couple will live happily ever after. Thank you iPhone Owner!

YOU: Oh, I was just doing what any super cool iPhone owner would do.

3 – Use your iPhone as it was meant to be used… as fashion

Why wear your iPhone on your waist when you can attach it to a headband and wear it on your forehead?

4 – Share your iPhone’s information

At the bar, a guy asks you if the local sports team won today.

YOU: Hold on, I’ll check that out for you on my brand new amazing iPhone… Sorry, for the delay, I just got my amazing iPhone and I’m still trying to learn all of the amazing iPhone iFeatures… where is News?… Music… Videos… Email… Phone… Cr?me Brulee recipes… Time Machine… darn this amazing iPhone!

5 – Use your iPhone to fight crime

WOMAN: A man is holding up the Convenience Store owner with a gun!

YOU: No worries ma’am, I am an iPhone owner. I’ll simply call 9-1-1… now I’ll walk into the store… and <SNAP> take the perpetrator’s photo. And… email it to the police.

ROBBER: Stick ’em up or I’ll blow you away!

YOU: I own an iPhone.

ROBBER: Really? Wow!

YOU: I know. iPhone says you are suffering from feelings of inadequacy caused by your father’s constant belittling of you as a child.

ROBBER: iPhone is right!

YOU: iPhone says there is a support group for your issue approximately 2.9 miles southwest of here.

ROBBER (wiping away tears): Thank you, iPhone owner.

YOU: Of course.

ROBBER: Now I’m going to shoot you and take your iPhone!

YOU: I’m sorry, but I’m going to zap you with 50,000 volts.

ROBBER: Aaaaaaaaaaah!!!

YOU: The iPhone has a hidden stun-gun feature.

CONVENIENCE STORE OWNER: Thank you, my friend!

YOU: It’s my privilege to serve the community. While waiting for the police to arrive, would you like to listen to some U2?

The 9 Most Meaningless Corporate Slogans

Written by Conrad Schickedanz

In boardrooms across America, the best and the brightest corporate minds spend countless hours trying to come up with the perfect slogan for their corporations. In courtrooms across America, the best and the brightest lawyers earn countless dollars finding new ways to sue those corporations.

So, it’s not surprising that so many companies choose their words very carefully when developing slogans, crafting the language to be vague and ambiguous enough that they can’t possibly be sued for misleading advertising. On the plus side, no lawsuits; on the minus side, most of today’s corporate slogans are complete meaningless gibberish.

#9.Hilton: Travel should take you places

This slogan is so bland and devoid of meaning that we have to wonder if the heiress herself came up with it, possibly during her third-grade vocabulary flashcard sessions. Otherwise, we’re forced to conclude that the Hilton Corporation simply wanted to remind us what the definition of “travel” was, just in case we were trying to reserve a room in our own homes via the Hilton website.

#8.Holiday Inn: Look again

If you take this slogan’s advice and look at it a second time, the only conclusion you’re going to come to is that it makes Hilton’s slogan look like a gleaming gem of savvy marketing.

Also, why is a corporation whose business model boils down to, “People will overlook a lot of nasty shit if you’re the cheapest in town” asking consumers to take a closer look? Are we supposed to be taking a second look at the stained, frayed bedspreads? Should we be re-examining the ridiculous price of Pringles in the mini bar? Or the drunk convention-goer who pressed all of the buttons on the elevator before heading to his room to order pornography? We suggest Holiday Inn “look again” to Snoop Dogg and Chingy for a catchier slogan.

#7.Lockheed Martin: We never forget who we’re working for

Given his history of heroin abuse, band breakups and moments of being cradled tenderly by Duff McKagan in the “Fall to Pieces” video, we might expect Velvet Revolver lead singer Scott Weiland to forget who he’s working for. We’re less enthusiastic, however, that a company building missiles and fighter jets is reminding us that they didn’t black out and sell F-22 Raptors to the North Koreans after a night on the town.

#6.Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there

You’ve heard it so many times, you may think you know what this slogan means. But if you’re one of the lucky folks who’ve actually read an insurance policy from beginning to end, you’ll know that most words are left purposely ambiguous in the event that you get hit by a bus and your insurance company isn’t excited about footing the bill.

The same holds true for State Farm’s slogan. Because let’s face it, the meaning of “good neighbor” probably depends on which neighborhood you live in. A “good neighbor” in Detroit may be someone who considerately waits until you’re out of your house before shooting you. In a college frat house, a good neighbor might be someone who buys you a six-pack of Old Milwaukee to apologize for slipping you a roofie and giving you a pubic beard. It’s probably safe to say you don’t want any of these good neighbors “there,” watching your house float away during the next major flood.

#5.American Eagle Outfitters: Live your life

While essentially telling your customers to continue breathing may seem to be setting a low bar for marketing goals, it should be noted that this slogan is undeniably better advice than telling today’s young Americans to live Lindsay Lohan‘s life.

#4.eBay: Whatever it is…you can get it on eBay

File this slogan under “Words you don’t want to hear from your doctor after looking at your mysterious rash.” Although, based on this slogan’s logic, you could also fill a prescription to cure the rash on eBay.

But wait: There’s a “Prohibited and Restricted Items” link on eBay that says you can’t sell prescription drugs, human parts, used cosmetics and teacher’s edition textbooks, among other things. So, the good news is that you couldn’t possibly have gotten your rash from used cosmetics or body parts purchased on eBay. The bad news, unfortunately, is that apparently the “whatever” in this slogan refers to the headache you’ll get trying to figure out what you actually can and can’t buy.

#3.H&R Block: You got people

This seems like an unsettlingly vague, grammatically incorrect statement to be coming from a company that’s only provided service is supposed to be accuracy. How many people do we have? Where did we get them? Are we going to have to feed them? How are we ever going to get our taxes done on time when we have all these people to feed? Whoever these people are, we hope that they can help us prepare taxes more accurately than the people who were reported last year, no joke, to have screwed up H&R Block’s own taxes.

#2.Captain Morgan: Drink responsibly – Captain’s orders!

If you’re taking orders from a cartoon pirate on a bottle of rum, you’ve probably already missed the boat to the land of responsible drinking, making this slogan rather moot (assuming you’re sober enough to read it). This one is just just barely worse than the Captain’s other slogan, “Got a little Captain in You?” a condition whose only symptom seems to be that you, at random moments, spontaneously lift your leg like you’re preparing to piss on a fire hydrant. The “Captain in You” slogan also provides the service of inviting the sort of people who actually drink this beverage to drop the devastatingly charming pick-up line, “You don’t?” (Putting Captain Morgan bottle near crotch) “Do you want some?”

#1.Cingular: Now the new AT&T

You know a company’s slogan is pushing the limits of meaninglessness when, after hearing it, you’re still not even sure what the name of the company is. Cingular? AT&T? The new AT&T? Either way, we question whether a cell phone company changing their name is going to make your cellular reception any clearer than this slogan. What we do know is that somebody thought it would be good idea to bring back fond memories of AT&T, the company that was broken up for being a monopoly, just in time for the “new” company to begin its monopoly as the exclusive carrier of the iPhone.