101 Greatest Simpsons Quotes

Written by James A

The SimpsonsIf “The Simpsons” have taught us anything it’s that two-dimensional characters are funnier than three-dimensional ones. There are as many great Simpsons quotes as there are Republicans in hell, which is another way to say “a lot.” For 18 years the residents of Springfield have been piling up the wittiest quotes ever uttered on TV. So, before the animated series hits the silver screen next week, here are the best quotes in Simpsons television history, in no particular order?

  1. Homer: D’oh.
  2. Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.
  3. Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
  4. Sideshow Bob: No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.
  5. Troy McClure: Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!
  6. Comic Book Guy: The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity?
  7. Homer: Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
  8. Ned Flanders: I’ve done everything the Bible says – even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff!
  9. Comic Book Guy: Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies.
  10. Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1?2.
  11. Sideshow Bob: I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.
  12. Homer: When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power?like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.
  13. Nelson: Dad didn’t leave? When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!
  14. Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?*
  15. Lionel Hutz: Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.”
  16. Comic Book Guy: Last night’s “Itchy and Scratchy Show” was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
  17. Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
  18. Homer: Save me, Jeebus.
  19. Mayor Quimby: I stand by my racial slur.
  20. Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
  21. Homer: You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
  22. Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the?uh?what cures cancer?
  23. Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like?love!
  24. Homer: Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
  25. Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin?but what good does *that* do me?
  26. Chief Wiggum: Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!
  27. Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals?except the weasel.
  28. Reverend Lovejoy: Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom.
  29. Homer: You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don’t work out in real life, uh, Christianity.
  30. Smithers: Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.”
  31. Hans Moleman: I was saying “Boo-urns.”
  32. Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  33. Homer: Here’s to alcohol, the cause of – and solution to – all life’s problems.
  34. Homer: When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!
  35. Chief Wiggum: I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn.
  36. Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
  37. Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
  38. Duffman: Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO!
  39. Grandpa Simpson: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.
  40. Homer: Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
  41. Troy McClure: Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”
  42. Homer: A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds?it makes ice.
  43. Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
  44. Homer: Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!
  45. Mr. Burns: I’ll keep it short and sweet – Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
  46. Kent Brockman: ?And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
  47. Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
  48. Apu: Please do not offer my god a peanut.
  49. Homer: You don’t win friends with salad.
  50. Mr. Burns: I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children.
  51. Sideshow Bob: Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?
  52. Chief Wiggum: They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day.
  53. Mr. Burns: Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico?
  54. Homer: He didn’t give you gay, did he? Did he?!
  55. Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds? Oh, I’ve wasted my life.
  56. Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
  57. Superintendent Chalmers: I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children?
  58. Mr. Burns: What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?
  59. Homer: Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.
  60. Ralph:Slow down, Bart! My legs don’t know how to be as long as yours.
  61. Homer: Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?
  62. Frink: Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is? Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing?
  63. Apu: Yes! I am a citizen! Now which way to the welfare office? I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I work, I work.
  64. Milhouse: We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy.
  65. Mr. Burns: A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow?and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.
  66. Homer: Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
  67. Milhouse: Look out, Itchy! He’s Irish!
  68. Homer: I’m going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for ten minutes!
  69. Smithers: I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die.
  70. Barney: Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
  71. Principal Skinner: That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.
  72. Sideshow Bob: Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!
  73. Barney: Jesus must be spinning in his grave!
  74. Superintendent Chalmers: “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion.
  75. Mr. Burns: [answering the phone] Ahoy hoy?
  76. Comic Book Guy: Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that’s a *really* useful invention!
  77. Marge: Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.
  78. Homer: What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway.
  79. Marge: Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train!
  80. Bill Gates: I didn’t get rich by signing checks.
  81. Principal Skinner: Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie.
  82. Homer: Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.
  83. Homer: And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker.
  84. Comic Book Guy: Human contact: the final frontier.
  85. Homer: I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
  86. Krusty the Clown: And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold.
  87. Homer: I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
  88. Dr. Nick: Inflammable means flammable? What a country.
  89. Homer: Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.
  90. Comic Book Guy: Stan Lee never left. I’m afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition.
  91. Nelson: Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.
  92. Krusty the Clown: Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance. We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you’re experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box?
  93. Milhouse: I can’t go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency.
  94. Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.
  95. Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
  96. Apu: Thank you, steal again.
  97. Homer: Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman – and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.
  98. Ed Begley Jr.: I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.
  99. Bart: I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.
  100. Homer: How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.
  101. Homer: Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.

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88 thoughts on “101 Greatest Simpsons Quotes

  1. Anonymous

    You guys didn’t try very hard. You have a lot of crappy lines in there and left out some amazing ones.

    1. bob

      “my cats breath smells like cats food”
      ” i’m a brick”
      “Saxamaphone, saxamaphone”

  2. I agree with Anonymous

    Yes, this list was pretty lame.

    Ranier Wolfcastle: “My eyes! The goggles do nothing!”

  3. Anon

    What about, Ralph “He’s gonna smell like hot dogs.” Granted context is needed, but HIlarious!

  4. TLS

    One of the best missed quotes:
    homer: Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart’s a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let’s go back to that … building … thingie … where our beds and TV … is

  5. TLS

    “these berrys taste like burning”

    Teacher teacher the glue stick went in my mouth and I ate it, can I have another one?”

  6. Greg

    “D’oh” was such an easy way out for the best pick no balls at all.

    These could have been in any order. There was no difference in quality from 101 and 2.

    This probably took you a lot of work or you just stole someone else’s work, but either way it wasn’t good enough to be worth anyones time.

    It’s almost impossible to pick a best of list like this because Simpson’s jokes are directed at so many different types of people.

    Worst best of list ever

    and no buying of beer for you 😛

  7. I also agree with Greg

    Its “I bent my wookie”

    Mr. Burns talking to Smithers: “Conga conga conga… we love Monty Burns more… conga like you mean it… don’t you make me shock you…”

  8. Dennis

    yea, they did miss a lot. like when the simpsons got a pool and bart broke his leg and nelson goes “ha ha.” then lisa says “thats not funny nelson i think barts really hurt. then nelson goes “i said ha ha.” fucking classic. plus, they could’ve filled 5 slots with quotes from the episode where flanders goes crazy. i was happy to see “i hope i didn’t brain my damage.” i can’t believe they didn’t have “glove slap, baby glove slap.”

  9. Zing

    Homer to Bart: “When a woman says nothing’s wrong, everything is wrong. And when a woman says everything’s wrong, EVERYTHING is wrong. And when a woman says something’s not funny, you better not laugh your ass off!”

    How can you have a Simpsons quote list and not have that one?

  10. G

    The line is “I like my beer cold, my coffee hot, and my homosexuals flaming.”

    These are definitely not the 101 best quotes. What about “And the doctor told me I wouldn’t have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there!”

    or pretty much anything Ralph says.

    1. boomkitten

      the quote is ‘i like my beer cold, my t.v. loud & my homosexuals flaming.’

  11. Iain

    Burns: (having trouble with the ATM) “Smithers, guide me in.”

    Smithers: “With pleasure Sir!”


  12. McMike

    “Red MnMs, green MnMs, they all wind up the same color in the end.”

    “Looks like the cat burgler was caught by the same person who was trying to catch him!”

    “Burns was pronounced dead, then taken to a better hospital where he was pronounced alive.”

  13. McMike

    “Hello Smithers, you are quite good at turning me on.”

    Burns: “Smithers, I’v got a rocket in my pocket!”
    Smithers: “you’re telling me”

    Burns (talking about dogs): “what would you think if I came up to you and slobered all over your crotch?”
    Smithers: “If you did it sir?”

    All the Sherry Bobbins songs

    “Sincereley, little girls”

    J: “So homer, was it a pimple or a boil”
    H: “It was a gummy bear”

  14. ss

    what about “i have one dream, to accomplish my many goals” -Homer….now im not some simpsons freak so i dont know if thats the exact quote but its along those lines

  15. alfred

    they forgot one of the best ones!
    funny as hell 2!

    BART : “There’s no such thing as a soul. It’s just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson”

  16. SagBag

    Chief wiggum talking to Ralph “If your nose starts bleeding it means you’re picking it too much…Or not enough.” That one always makes me laugh.

    I don’t think it’s possible to have a list of all possible funny Simpson’s quotes because there will always be someone saying they missed some.

  17. Howler24

    List sucks. Did you just pick these out at random or something?
    Oh, and nice job brining politics into it, Douche Bigalow.

  18. blissful

    “I love these real Saturdays. So relaxing. Not like that fake Saturday which almost got me fired.”

  19. besus

    HOMER ” Half my money goes to Bart, Half my money goes to my Vegas wife. What’s left for Moe?”

  20. Kabat

    Titania: You said that if I slept with you I wouldn’t have to touch the drunk
    Duffman: Duffman says a lot of things!! ohhhh yeaaaaa!!

    Homer: Ee-van eht niojh — you gotta love that crazy chorus.
    Lisa: What does it mean?
    Homer: Ah, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s like, “rama-lama-ding-dong,” or, “Give peace a chance.”

    HI-larious….how Burns says hilarious

  21. Freda B1

    Apu; “Butterfinger is not a sprinkle” (Homer has stuck a whole candy bar in his frozen yogurt instead of using toppings offered )

  22. Angel

    OMG this one is the best : Ralph: “Hi Lisa Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers”

    re do the list with our comments. thanks!

  23. Linda

    The best Simpsons’ quote of all time (in my opinion, anyway) and it doesn’t make the list?:

    “Kids, kids, kids, as far as Daddy’s concerned, you’re BOTH potential murderers.”

    I also like “I’m living in a cuckoo clock!”

  24. Lindsay

    You guys forgot my 2 favorites…
    1) Where God says to Homer “You’ll never be happy til you stop personalizing other peoples problems.”
    2) Burns saying “Excellent”

  25. Hannah

    Marge- “Don’t you have insuarance?”
    Maude- “Oh no, Neddy doesn’t believe in gambling”

    Anything that comes from Ned
    Or Mr Burns

    “Ketchup? Catsup? Ketchup? Catsup?”

    And the song Home writes about his hatred for Ned Flanders, classic

  26. EmJ

    this list made me laugh sooo loud!!….. but what about….
    Bart: No offence dad, but your half-assed under parenting is alot better than your half-assed over parenting
    Homer: But I’m using my whole ass

    i LOVE the simpsons

  27. Lisa

    Shame on you all for forgetting one of the most classic lines in the show:

    Ralph: “And thats where I saw the Leprechaun.”
    Bart: “… *right* the leprechaun!”
    Ralph: “He told me to burn things!”

  28. Lisa

    And now just a general line up of cool lines people have missed, maybe not all are list worthy but are just memorable ones that always raise a laugh.

    Homer: “Call Mr Plow, thats my name! That name again is Mr Plow!”

    Homer: *after garbage men drive past him* “You trash eating stinkbags!”
    then his reply to them confronting him [- “what did you just say?”]
    Homer: “I don’t know, there were a lot of people yelling stuff…”

    Kent Brockman: [talking about the people when the new area code divides the town] They use low-class expressions like “Oh, yeah!” and “Come here a minute.”
    Homer Simpson: [watching the TV with Bart] Oh, yeah, they think we’re low class huh? Hey, Bart, come here a minute.
    Bart: You come here a minute.
    Homer Simpson: Oh, yeah…

    Guy in the van: “I guess you could say its my racket.”
    Kent Brockman: “I guess you could say I’m Iraqi.”
    Homer: “Get off my property.”

    Ned Flanders: “You ugly hate-filled man.”
    Moe: “Hey. I may be ugly and I may be hate-filled but… uh… what was that last thing you said?”

    Ralph: “There’s a dog in the vent.”

    Homer: “Dancing away my hunger pain… moving my feet so my stomach won’t hurt… I’m kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way…”

    [At the St. Patrick’s Day Parade]
    Kent Brockman: “All this drinking, violence, destruction of property… are these the things that we think of when we think of the Irish?”

    Homer: [about God] “Yeah, he’s my favorite fictional character.”

    and so on…

  29. JH

    My favourites…

    [Can’t remember exactly]

    Mechanic: That sound isn’t coming from your car, it’s your heart!
    Homer: So you’re saying I don’t need a new muffler?

    Homer: English side ruined, must use French instructions! Le grille? What the hell is that?

    Bart: What’s that extra ‘B’ for?
    Homer: That’s a typo.

    Marge: No, Homer, don’t fill up on bread!
    Homer: What? Right! The steak!

    Marge: Are you going to ignore Grampa for the rest of your life?
    Homer: No. Only for the rest of his life.

    Homer: Oh! Super-fun-happy-slide!

    Mechanic: Well, you see, it’s a foreign fish.
    Homer: I know that! How much to fix it?
    Mechanic: Ahhh, 2 thousand. Plus 350.

    Bart: I was, I was…
    Sideshow Bob: [Memory] If anyone asks, you were at the flower shop.
    Bart: I was at the flower shop.
    Homer: Oh… yeah. I was at the flower shop too. Yep, getting drunk at the old flower shop.

    Actor: Hey, nice car!
    Homer: Thanks, it took a lot of grifting.

    Grampa: They called me Grifty McGrift. I wrote the book of flim-flaming.

    It’s too hard to make a list of the best quotes, there are probably 5-10 memorable quotes in each episode, at least!

  30. sideshowbob

    Bob: You again! Well, that’s it. I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago. (at the Simpson home, there is a knock at the door. Marge opens it and its Bob) Madam, your children are no more… (pause) … than a pair of ill-bred troublemakers.
    Homer: Lisa too?
    Bob: Especially Lisa. But, especially Bart.

  31. sideshowbob

    homer: who wants to drive through this cactus field?

    bart: yeah!

    lisa: yeah!

    sideshow bob: (hiding on the underside of the car) Nooooo!

    homer: 2 against one, majority wins!

  32. Eric

    The most egregious omission is the greatest word ever invented by the Simpsons: “Sacrilicious” – After homer eats the waffle on the celing he had been praying to: “Lord, I know I should not eat thee… mmmmm… sacrilicious”

    And, of course, Apu’s description of the bad yogurt in the 24 episode: If a dead fish and a homelass guy had a baby, and that baby puked, and a dog ate the puke, this smells like that dogs butt” (or something to that effect)

  33. Phil


    “Look, Marge, you don’t know what it’s like. I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I’m not out of order! You’re out of order. The whole freaking system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can’t handle the truth! ‘Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it’s Chinatown.”

  34. Andrew

    Jesus…settle down….Everyone is like “oh but you missed this, you missed that”. For god’s sake, how many quotes can you fit into 101? If they used all yours then another 20 people would write in and say “but you missed these”

    Just read the ones here and laugh and then move on!

  35. ME

    “I wish God were alive to see this.” – Homer

    “I know they call them fingers, but I’ve never seen them fing” – Otto

  36. Amy

    I totally agree with Andrew as well…

    besides, half of the comments you left were gay.
    I enjoyed reading the 101 more.
    leave the list as is and stop bitching or make your own damn list.

  37. Tanya

    my cats breath smells like catfood

    not my raison roundies!

    Yay sleep, thats where im a viking!

  38. gfaegerg

    Dr. Nick:
    If it isn’t my good friend Mr McGreg,
    with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg

  39. :)

    Flanders: ‘Feels like I’m wearing nothing at all!’

    Homer: ‘Argghhh…stupid, sexy Flanders!’

  40. Brett Bean


  41. bURNSIDE

    “Uh oh…. looks like the Pawnee have returned….. They probably want their souls back.”

  42. bURNSIDE

    “Uh oh…. looks like the Pawnee have returned….. They probably want their souls back.”

  43. bURNSIDE

    “Uh oh…. looks like the Pawnee have returned….. They probably want their souls back.”

  44. Bill Nye

    Dr Hibbert: Diagnosis Bad Babysitter!

    Kent Brockman: Authorities say the phony pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth

    Lisa: Dad, women won't like being shot in the face.
    Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like

    Bart: Dad, what are you doing here?
    Homer: Reading about this Edison character. They won't let me in the big people library downtown. There was some… unpleasantness. I can never go back

  45. Ryan

    Homer: “So I tackled a loafer at work today”

    or anything Scorpio said in that episode, one of their best one-off characters

  46. Dorth

    I love Homer pushing through a line of people and saying “Let me through, I got here late”.
    I’m wondering if anyone knows the actual quote when Bart says something like “I never knew a creative person could have problems”

  47. Alfonso Marevka

    Comments are an important portion of the blogosphere. On a couple of occasion, I’ve learned a SIGNIFICANT degree of information on the comments section. Should the comments aren’t productive, chances are they’ll needs to be moderated if the site owner so chooses.

  48. Assassin Jesse

    Homer – “Fun, food, and fashion – The mall has it all.”

    Homer – “No TV and no beer make Homer something something.”
    Marge – “Go crazy?”
    Homer – “Don’t mind if I do! BLAH BLAH HAMINON WOOT WOOT!”

    Homer (attempting to outrun a rhino): – “Don’t worry kids I now what to do! JUMANJI! Does anything from the movies actually work?”

    TV PSA: It’s 11pm. Do you know where your children are?
    Homer: “I told you last night. No! Where is Bart? His food is getting cold and eaten.”

  49. Andrew lennon

    “Smithers, I’ve forgotten, what’s my pin number?”

    “It’s your age, sir.”

    *Enters 4 digit pin.*

  50. luscious

    These are my favs….

    Bart running for President of his class: “My opponent says there are no easy answers and I say he’s not trying hard enough!”

    Homer talking to Lisa about her being a vegetarian….

    Homer: You mean you don’t eat ham?

    Lisa: No.

    Homer: You don’t eat bacon?

    Lisa: No.

    Homer: You don’t eat pork?

    Lisa: No. Dad, those are all the same animal!

    Homer: Oh, sure, Lisa, there is some *magical* animal that is all those foods!

  51. CBG

    Milhouse’s Dad: So that’s it huh? After 10 years, so long, good luck?

    Cracker Factory Boss: I don’t recall saying good luck

  52. CBG again


    Talking out of turn; that’s a paddlin’

    Looking out the window; that’s a paddlin’

    Staring at my sandals; that’s a paddlin’

    Paddlin’ the school canoe; oh you better believe that’s a paddlin’

    Bart: Dad you killed zombie Flanders!

    Homer: He was a zombie?

    Willie: I ‘ate his face, i ‘ate his guts and i ‘ate the way he kept on barking.

    Bart: Oh, i see you HATE him

    Willie: That’s right. I also ate the mess he left on my rug…you heard me.

    Lisa: Without my pearls, i’m just a big Maggie

    Mr Largo: NOBODY likes Milhouse

    Troy Mclure: That’s so funny. I can’t remember hearing a funnier anecdote. Okay now you tell one.

    Chief Wiggum: What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery

    Doctor: Ned Flander? Are you sure? May God have mercy on us
    all… it’s an emergency where are my shoes?

    Doctor’s wife: In the den

    Doctor: In the den? May God have mercy on us all

    Homer: Thanks Moe

    Moe: You know Homer – that beer ain’t free

    Dr Nick: When you were in that coma, did you feel your brain being damaged?

    (Smithers Dream) Mr Burns: Happy birthday Mr Smithers

    Marge: It’s time to come home with your family

    Tom Petty: Your mother’s right Homer

    I could go on but i don’t wanna sound like a nerd

  53. CBG again again

    Just a couple more more.

    TV: “Don’t go there” will be right back

    Bart (holding up bowling bowl): Oh no it won’t

    Itchy and scratchy Nerd: When itchy is playing scratchy’s ribs like a xylophone, itchy hits the same rib twice in a row but we distinctly hear two completely different sounds…I hope someone got fired for that blunder

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