Written by Steve Calechman
In life, as in real estate, there are three critical considerations: location, location, and location. Situate yourself for success in everything you do this summer
Best Place to. . .
. . . Have Sex with Her for the First Time.
Her place, her bed. Why the away game? At your place, her mind will wander to two classic turnoffs: (1) Who else has been here? and (2) Are you still thinking about those women? At her place, she has maximum comfort for a nervous situation, says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., Men’s Health “Bedroom Confidential” columnist. Once there, compliment her sense of style to increase the warm feelings. Dim the lights in her room; she’ll like the mood but will still want to see that you’re there. And wake up early to fetch the groceries you’ll whip into breakfast. Being attentive is blue-chip material.
. . . Start a 10-K Race.
They’ll post projected finish times along the area before the starting line; step just in front of the mob at your time. You won’t be stuck in traffic, and the runners ahead will prevent you from going out too fast. And stick to the side where the first turn will be, so you can hug that corner. Now, to break your personal best, every mile for the first three, take a relaxed-paced walking break — 10 to 15 seconds for a 6-minute pace, 15 to 20 for 7, 20 to 25 for 8, and 25 to 30 for 9, says Jeff Galloway, running coach and author of Galloway’s Book on Running. You won’t lose much time, and you’ll conserve energy that will let you eat up ground and blast by Al from bookkeeping — who wouldn’t shut up about how unbeatable he was going to be.
. . . Catch A Foul Ball.
Dolphin Stadium, Section 143, July 31, August 1 or 2. The Marlins drew the fewest fans in the majors last year, averaging slightly more than 14,000 a game. The league has more right-handed than left-handed hitters, who tend to foul the opposite way, making an infield box down the first-base line your spot, says Jon Miller, play-by-play man for ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball. And the series — midweek, good for low turnouts — features the Colorado Rockies with Todd Helton, the reigning foul-ball king. Yeah, he’s a lefty, so when he’s up, hop on over to section 156 to maximize your chances. There probably won’t be much traffic.
. . . Sit At Your Regular Poker Game.
To the immediate left of the most aggressive player. Money moves to the left, and you want to see how he acts before you play. If that turns out to be at the head of the table, even better: You can see everyone and snag maximum legroom. Once comfortable, your goal is to isolate Captain Macho. Since he’s prone to play weaker hands, you’ll have your chance. Just be patient for a decent starting hand and raise three to four times his initial bet to drive the pretenders out, says Daniel Negreanu, professional poker player. It might not look great, but a 7-8 of the same suit can turn into gold after the flop. Plus it’ll be hard for opponents to figure out what you’re holding.
. . . Park for the Big Game.
In a private lot on the outbound side. Walking a little at the beginning will bring huge returns 3 hours later, because unless you have quick-exit VIP parking, you’re rubbing bumpers with 80,000 friends. “The load-in is gradual. The exit is all at once,” says Roamy Valera, with Timothy Haahs & Associates, an engineering and architecture firm. If you have no choice but to enter the stadium lot, park as far from the game and as close to the section exit as possible, for the best chance of squeezing out before daybreak.
. . . Take a Group Photo.
Standing on a balcony or chair. Shooting down makes people look up, and looking up makes people look better, says Danny Clinch, a New York City photographer. Have Phil tell the story that always makes Aunt Cheryl spit water, or ask each person to tell a joke. People will listen, relax, and forget about the camera. Shoot just before, during, and after they laugh, to capture a series of natural looks. One more trick: If they’re sitting, ask them to lean toward the center of the group, and as soon as they start, click. More doing and less thinking. Wait too long and it’ll be too posed.
. . . Sit On a Couch for a Group Picture.
It doesn’t matter where, just lean forward. You’ll have to look up, and putting your forearms on your knees will hide any gut, Clinch says. Leaning back will cause you to look down and across your chest, giving even the most ripped cover model some unsightly chin business.
. . . See the Manhattan Skyline.
30 Rock, Jersey City, and Brooklyn. First stop, the new observation deck at 30 Rockefeller Center in Manhattan. Seventy stories up, you’ll have an unobstructed midtown view in all directions and have a strong sense of how dense and compact Manhattan is. Then walk to Fifth Avenue and 53rd Street and take the E train downtown to the World Trade Center station, where you’ll catch a PATH train to Exchange Place in Jersey City. Go to the large pier. Stand on the large pier. Look for the city. It’ll be hard to miss. You’ll see about half the island without having to turn your head. Hit it in the afternoon to see the sun reflecting off the buildings, says Mark McKennon, a New York City location scout and manager. Then hop back on the PATH to the World Trade Center stop and take a 2 or 3 train to Brooklyn. Get off at Clark Street and walk to the Brooklyn Heights Promenade (between Montague and Cranberry streets, but well above the East River). It’s a little sliver of a city park that will give you the reverse of the Jersey City view, with the Brooklyn Bridge thrown in. The elevation makes it possible to look across the East River and take in another huge scene without having to move your head. You’ll want to be there at the end of the day, when the sun sets and the lights of the buildings are still on. For transit info, go to mta.info and panynj.gov.
. . . Watch Tiger Woods Play.
Akron, Ohio, Sunday, early August, Firestone Country Club course. It’s called the Bridgestone Invitational. It’s not a hard ticket. It’s a World Golf Championship tourney, so it attracts the cream from all time zones. And the course is laid out in a user-friendly north-south fashion, making it easy to bop between holes. Be sure to catch Tiger on the 16th. It’s a par 5, so there’s a chance he’ll bring out the driver. “It’s a balls-out swing that sounds like a gunshot,” says David Feherty, CBS golf analyst. After that, he could try to make it in two or lay up for a tricky third shot over water to a small, firm green. “That hole has it all. One of the great par 5s of all time,” Feherty says. For more info, go to worldgolfchampionships.com.
. . . Sit in a Restaurant.
Solo, at the corner of the bar. The food’s the same. You can look out over the restaurant, and your server for the evening will be the bartender, who’ll be more than happy to provide you with info on all things hot waitress. If you’re dining with a special someone, ask for a table in a corner away from the kitchen, and sit next to each other, not across, to up the intimacy factor, says Todd English, a chef and restaurateur. Make a 7:30 reservation. It’s just before the crunch, so adrenaline will be pumping and service should be optimal.
. . . See How a Magic Trick is Done.
Front row, as far to the left as possible. You’ll be able to see the magician’s right hand, the one used to hide or flash something, says Penn Jillette, costar of Penn & Teller: Bullshit! But magicians know this vulnerability and won’t sell the seat without endless questions to make sure you’re not a mole for a competitor. So stay strong and know your cover. You’re from Wichita. You’re in for the weekend. You really wanted to see C?line but she was sold out. Practice it. Learn it. Be it.
. . . Sit at a Conference Table for a Meeting.
Head of the table, farthest from the door. The boss will sit in the power position: in the middle, facing the door. He can easily see you and you can easily see him — and everyone’s reactions — without being obvious or aggressive, says Lillian D. Bjorseth, author of Breakthrough Networking. Stay on the fast track with good body language. Keep your hands on the table to show that you’re open. Take notes to show that you’re engaged. And lean forward slightly to show that you’re interested.
. . . Break Up with Your Girlfriend.
Her kitchen table, 8 p.m., Friday. Don’t take her out to dinner to cushion the blow; for this blow there can be no cushioning. The news will hurt. Just be kind and don’t waver. Her kitchen table allows you to sit but lacks all intimacy. She’s on her turf, so she can react any way she wants, kick you out and retain her dignity, and have all her comforts around if she loses it, says Laurie Frankel, author of It’s Not Me . . . It’s YOU! And Can We Not Be Friends? After dinner allows minimal time until she tries to go to bed, and Friday allows maximum time to regain her composure before putting on her work face. In total, the interaction should take no more than 20 minutes — enough time to apologize and tell her that you’ve enjoyed being with her but your feelings aren’t as strong as they were, but not enough time to crack and start giving unhelpful details.
. . . Bicycle with Seven Friends.
Third in line. It’s ideal for keeping a rhythm. You’re reaping the benefits of a draft without having to react to everyone’s braking and accelerating. (Quick tip: Pull out of the line and let the wind, rather than the brakes, slow you down for a smoother ride.) Third is also the place to be when it’s raining, to catch minimal wheel spray, says Jonathan Vaughters, a former professional cyclist and the director of Team Slipstream/Chipotle. But don’t bogart the sweet spot. Rotate the lead position: Everyone goes for 1- to 2-minute shifts, and you’ll be able to maintain a faster pace. Best place to try it out: Fredericksburg, Texas. It has a bunch of different routes, and the roads are hilly rather than steep, so the distance, rather than all-out ability, dictates the intensity. And it’s 90 minutes from Austin, a great base camp. Go in April for manageable crowds and temperatures, says Rod Kramer, tour director for Adventure Cycling Association. To stay out of the E.R., go easy on the third day, which is when fatigue hits. Most accidents happen later in the afternoon, so plan a 25-mile morning ride and an afternoon that doesn’t involve ugly shorts. Check out cycletexas.com for specific routes and area information.
rofl if u break up with ur girlfriend in the kitchen she can just grab a knife and kill you!!
Sorry, I gotta disagree with the dining intimacy one. Sitting next to each other forces you to have your head turned in order to look into each other’s eyes, and the eyes have it, hands down (no pun intended). That puts a crimp into dinner, not to mention your neck. If it’s just drinks, maybe next to each other is okay though.
For dinner, and especially a NICE dinner, sit across the table – always. You can eat w/o dribbling your food down your front and have eye contact w/o straining your neck.
From a female veteran of many romantic and not so romantic evenings….
These articles are awesome. They are like the “how to’s” of things you would not think of normally. Great.