Written by jalopnik

We asked you what you think the best post-apocalyptic vehicle would be, assuming you could fuel it up and were unable to stay in one place due to the lack of other resources (and likely abundance of radioactive zombies looking for a tasty brain to munch upon). The response we received from commenters was phenomenal. We’ve culled the comments down to our ten top responses. Some we expected and some we didn’t, and we even had a quasi-fictional vehicle thrown in for some fun. After you’ve had a moment to take a gander at the zombie-fighting machines-o-war below, drop all the way down to the bottom and help us cull the wheat from the proverbial radioactive chaff and determine the ultimate ride for living through the bleak world that awaits us. The very fate of humanity may rest upon your decision.

Earthroamer XV-JP

Though we’re partial to the XV-LT, based on the full-sized F550 platform, CSHONTZ makes an excellent point about the zombie-killing ability of the smaller Jeep-based Earthroamer XV-JP. It’s got all you need to survive, is quite portable (the only camper to ever cross the Rubicon trail) and contains a top that folds out into a queen-sized bed. You’ll just have to get used to using the potty in view of the zombies. [Earthroamer]

Dobbertin Surface Orbiter

What happens when a well known hotrodder puts his tinkering hands to an amphibious vehicle? The Dobbertin Surface Orbiter. Built out of an old milk tanker, the Orbiter was designed to circumnavigate the globe on land and water, which is good for when you’re on the move and forced to deal with the suddenly changing seasons that the nuclear fallout will likely bring. And like all good survival vehicles, it comes complete with a kitchen and porta-potti. It nearly made it around the world, but financial problems and an eventual divorce led to the trip getting cut short. Maybe YankBoffin and BlueCoupe would be all over that. [Dobbertin Hydrocar]

Sportsmobile

Commenter Buji already drives his survival vehicle. A more minimalist approach than some of the vehicles featured here, the Sportsmobile 4X4 will cross almost any terrain and still let you bring your equipment, your bail out vehicle (BOV) and camping gear with you. Even better, it can be fitted with a kennel so you can bring your best friend with you. [Sportsmobile]

The Wothahellizat

Certainly winner for the best name, Adidac425 was right to identify the Wothahellizat as one of the all-time great survival vehicles. If the Sportsmobile is minimalist, the Wothahellizat is maximalist. It’s a motorhome on wheels, literally. Nature photographer Rob Fray used this to do his work across the Australian continent. The perfect vehicle for when you don’t want to leave anything at your underground fallout shelter. [Wothahellizat]

Steeltruck 4×4

According to Froggmann, the Steelwheels truck is ready for when things heat up. Literally. This off-roader is built on the Oshkosh M100 platform used for, among other things, airport crash trucks. With this you can drive into the heart of the zombie queen’s lair, rescue your friends, and torch the place, all the while making a delicious meal inside the TGIF-esque interior.
[Steelwheels]

EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle

Though it’s a quasi-fictional vehicle, Al Navarro was spot-on with picking the EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle from the great American film Stripes. Think about it. Most of the time it looks like your standard issue GMC-based RV with all the included amenities. But with the touch of a button the armor goes down and the missiles come out. It also includes full navigational and communications equipment. If it’s good enough for Bill Murray, it’s good enough for us. [Cloudster]

Volvo C303

Murph has it right. What do you need an onboard toilet for in a world where global war has rendered societal norms, such as not peeing anywhere, nil. Lacking the complex mechanical and electronic components of some of its colleagues here, the Volvo C303 can be kept running with duct tape and shoe polish. Plus, what’s tougher than a big red brick?
[Real4x4]

Sisu XA-185

Who knows more about surviving danger than, well, Dr. Danger? So we’ll let the good Dr take this one:
Three important reasons:
1. Mobility: Amphibious 6×6
2. Safety: Zombie proof, also with a mounted NSV machine gun
3. Power Plant: Decent diesel engine (we all know diesel engines are versatile with fuel) [ArmyVehicles.dk]

The Buffalo Force Protection Vehicle

It can crush a Hummer, clear a minefield and keep you safe from grenade-chucking survivors hoping to kill you off as you fight for that last barrel of oil or pool of freshwater. It may not be the most comfortable choice for long trips, but it does come with a space shuttle-like mine raking arm, which JoSCh points out “could skewer a cadre of zombies.” Perfect. Oh, and if you pick the right one, it may even transform. [ForceProtection.net]

MaxiMog

It’s hard to argue with the MaxiMog, which starts life as the über-capable Mercedes Unimog and gets converted for full survival duty. It’s as tough as the Unicat, but comes with a high-performance motorbike BOV, undersea vehicle and a special living trailer. Even better, mehugtree points out that it includes a UAV that can send live images of zombie hordes from up to ten miles away.
[Maximog]

Written by Christian

Image by guy paterson

Proper tipping etiquette is still a trait rarely found in modern men yet, when perfected, it can actually become quite enjoyable. It’s a selfless act of giving to others based on the level of service you’ve received. A lot of these people get a pitiful wage and the tips they get go a long way to supplement their income. Make them happy and you’ll be looked after. Annoy them and you’d be best advised to eat your meal with caution!

Tipping like a Gentleman

Tipping really is an art form and when you’re giving your tip you want to be as discrete and gentlemanly as possible. Hand over the tip with your palm facing down and shake hands with the person you are tipping, simultaneously placing the money in their hand. What you want to avoid doing is waving the money around and making a big deal of it. You’ll look like an idiot for starts and if that isn’t enough, you’re going to make the person receiving the tip feel uncomfortable because, believe it or not, you’re coming across like a condescending jerk. You’re not throwing a treat for Fido here.

So how do you figure out how much to tip? Well the truth is there are no tipping rules per se, however there are guidelines which suggest how much is appropriate to give. Let’s investigate.

The restaurant waiter/waitress

This is the one that causes most debate because there is no hard and fast rule. It is also made even more difficult by waiting staff who have lost sight of the fact that a tip is a gratuity and is not actually required. As a guideline though, I’d say you can safely use the following without a disgruntled waiter spitting in your salad:

• Self-serve/Buffet restaurant – 10-12%. If the service was fantastic, you could up this to 15%.
• Local restaurant – 15%. Again, you could up this by a few percent if the server worked particularly hard or went out of their way to help you.
• A 4-star restaurant – You’ll want to tip the maitre d’ as you’re being seated, particularly if you’re a regular and he/she goes out of their way to reserve you a table or get a table when the restaurant is busy. The standard tip here is anywhere from $20-100. For the service of the meal itself I’d recommend a tip of around 20-22%. Don’t forget to tip the wine steward (a few dollars per bottle of wine) and/or the coat check attendant ($1 for a couple of coats).

Taxi driver

Unless you want to annoy the Travis Bickle-esque taxi driver by stiffing him on a tip you’d better go ahead and give 15% of the fare.

Hair salon

You want to make sure your hair looks as good as possible and tipping will ensure that your hair stylist gives a polished cut. They’ll also be more likely to look after you next time you visit too (I’ve been given a free colour before simply for tipping well). An acceptable amount is somewhere in the region of 10-15% of the cost.

Hotel staff

There are a number of staff members at the hotel that can make your stay very pleasant or a living nightmare depending on how you tip them. Here’s who you should tip and how much to give them:

• Chambermaid – $5 per night you stay. That is, if you want clean sheets, towels and plenty of toilet roll.
• Room service waiter – Again this is the standard 15%.
• Bellhop – If you let the bellhop carry your bags up to your room and show you around said room without giving them a tip then you’re going to hell. Tip them around $10-15 for their efforts.

The casino

If you’re going for a night out at the casino, you better be prepared to tip. Of course if you’re a professional gambler (or just extremely lucky) you’ll be able to tip from your winnings.

• Blackjack dealer – $5 chip (or more) per session. It’s also common place in casinos for the players to place a small side bet for the dealers. You can agree the amount with other players but a $1 chip is usually sufficient.
• Craps dealer – Those craps dealers love the action as much as you. It’s common to place up to a 10% side bet for the dealer.
• Poker dealer – $5 per session. Winners usually tip at least $10 and sometimes as much as 10% on bigger wins.
• Drink waitresses – $1 chip per drink.

Parking attendant

You don’t want some juvenile attendant ruining your prized Bentley Continental because you didn’t tip the lad, do you? On second thoughts, why would you let a juvenile attendant park your prized Bentley Continental unless you’re asking for trouble?

You should tip, at the very least $1 ($5 if they help with your luggage) but I would tip a little extra to get a better level of service. Perhaps $10-15 to make sure they don’t take it for a joy-ride á la Ferris Bueller. Oh, that reminds me, always check the mileage of the car before handing it over to a parking attendant!

But what if I don’t want to give a tip?

There are some occasions where you feel unjustified to give out a tip, but let me tell you why you should.

• The food was terrible. If the food was terrible, then complain to the manager (you might get a discount on the bill) but don’t take away the tip from the waiting staff because you’re punishing them for someone else’s mistake. Chances are they worked very hard for you and to not reward them would be unfavourable.
• The service was below par. If the service was below par then you should tip at a lower rate than normal. Usually, I’d speak to the waiter I’m tipping and politely explain the reasons for the lower tip. Just make sure you’ve eaten all your food before you tell them!
• You are a stingy and grumpy old man. So you don’t want to tip. Why not? You’re rewarding someone for doing good work. How would you feel if your boss decided to not give you the pay raise you’ve been asking for or taking your bonus away from you just because he felt like it? As the old saying goes, “Treat other people the way you expect to be treated yourself.”

Oh and for those of you wondering how to deal with people who flat out ask you for a tip. I like to go with the following:

Yeah, I’ve got a tip for you. Never eat yellow snow.

What’s your etiquette for tipping? Is it more or less than I’ve suggested? Also, if you’ve got a great tipping story from a restaurant for example, let us know in the comments.

Written by lifehacker

Like a famed race horse or a classic book, you don’t just throw away a laptop because it’s banged up a little. Even if it seems outdated and underpowered, most any laptop is still small, quiet, and relatively low on power consumption, making it a seriously valuable spare to keep handy-even without a working screen. With some free software, a little know-how and some creative thinking about your home network, nearly any old laptop can find its second wind, and today I’ll run through some of the best ways to get it there.Photo by daveynin.

Create a no-monitor, low-power spare system

So everything on your laptop runs just fine-except the screen, the most important (and expensive) part. That’s not a death knell, just a chance for re-purposing. Set your laptop up somewhere near your router, connect it with network cable, then read up on how to set up your system to run “headless” with any OS and only when you wake it up. That way, you’ve got a computer that uses a bare minimum of power and doesn’t neeed no fancy screen to convert a file, download a big file, or serve as a temporary backup box. But if your system lacks Wake on LAN abilities, or you’re just looking for more use out of that laptop, you could always …

Convert it to a home server

The idea of a “server” usually conjures images of rack-mounted, temperature-controlled boxes, or at least a desktop system, but a laptop’s power-scaling abilities, small size, and built-in screen can actually make for a quietly-great unit. You could put it next to your printer to allow printing from anywhere, use a browser to get it grabbing BitTorrents in Windows or Mac systems, or set up your own web server for grabbing files or hosting things like your personal Wiki. Oh, and don’t forget your multi-purpose media server, if you’ve got the hard drive space. Once you’re set up and have enabled outside access, the world-or at least your files at home-is at your fingertips.

Make a better digital photo frame

Unless you avoided the big stores entirely last holiday season, you’ve probably noticed the boom in digital picture frames-those small $100-and-up devices with not-so-amazing screens and a canned slideshow ability. If you know your laptop isn’t much for getting anything done these days, consider bending it over backwards to make for a sizable, attention-grabbing frame that can show whatever you want and possibly even grab photos as they’re dropped on a main computer. Instructables has a highly detailed guide to taking apart a MacBook to get started, while Popular Science shows an alternate scheme using an old ThinkPad. To keep your spare laptop from becoming a power draw (or running long and hot), consider setting up timers to run your “frame” only during your waking hours.

Make it fly again with lightweight Linux

If you’re shelfing your trusty road warrior mostly because it just runs … so … slow, consider that it’s not always the laptop’s fault. Most modern operating systems aren’t designed to give you only the web, email, document handling, and a little multimedia, but there is an entire OS realm that is that can make your old system seem new again. Here are a few free, open-source recommendations and what an old laptop might get out of them:

• Puppy Linux: Very slim (97 MB) distribution, but retains a basically smooth and polished interface, with apps to cover common computer uses.
• Damn Small Linux: For really, really fast and light performance with a straight-up interface. A system smaller than 50 MB that can run on a machine with a minimum of 16 MB memory (assuming you can boot/load it on there).
• Xubuntu: Puts the Ubuntu methodology and software support into a lighter, XFCE-based desktop (check out its look and newest features here). For an even lighter kind of “Damn Small Ubuntu,” try Fluxbuntu.
• gOS: For those who live inside their browser, gOS isn’t so much a gimmicky “Wal-Mart OS” as a webapp-focused version of Ubuntu, with a lightweight window manager (Enlightenment) and an OS X-like bottom dock containing most of what you need

Convert its LCD into a Stand-Alone Monitor

Not for the faint of heart or unsteady of hand, this Instructables guide runs you through the basics of turning a perfectly good LCD laptop screen into a vertical-mounted monitor. Havingl pulled apart a laptop myself to replace a monitor cable, I can just tell you that you should go real slow, and make sure you have a place to put all the spare screws and parts during disassembly.

Salvage an external back up drive from it

Assuming your laptop didn’t die from hard drive failure, those little magnetic platters inside it can make for a really handy pocket-sized external drive. Follow Lifehacker alum Rick Broida’s instructions on properly enclosing a 2.5″ drive, and you’ll have avoided paying a premium for a seriously useful addition to your computer inventory. Photo by Justin Ruckman.

Extend your wireless coverage

If wireless coverage throughout your house is hit or miss, your best bet is to do a little DIY router upgrading. If, however, your router can’t handle Tomato or DD-WRT boost, your trusty laptop can serve as a temporary booster. If your trusty laptop is running OS X, Vista, or XP, you can turn on its hot spot abilities with only minor tweaking. Linux users should check out this Linux.com tutorial for general guidance, while Ubuntu fans can get more specific instructions here. Finally, those who also keep an Xbox on their network but think Microsoft’s $100 wireless adapter is a bit much can jerry-rig that shelved laptop to serve as a stand-in.

I tried to cover the basics and a few quirky ideas for an old-but-trusted laptop, but many of you have years of experience on me in this area. What’s the coolest, or most useful, thing you’ve done with an old laptop? What do you wish you could do with it? Share your tales and wishes in the comments.

Kevin Purdy, associate editor at Lifehacker, hopes he never has to part ways with his ThinkPad. His weekly feature, Open Sourcery, appears every Friday on Lifehacker.

Written by f*cking c*nts

Sometimes it’s hard to come up with a full-length, balls-to-the-wall rant, but a lot of “too long for Twitter, too short for a whole post” ideas float in and out of my head all the time. Here’s 10 things every adult really ought to know, but a lot of people are apparently just too fucking stupid to figure out:

1. Having sex can cause pregnancy. This one seems too obvious to mention, but judging from the number of accidental children in the world, I thought it bore repeating. Nothing is 100% effective against pregnancy except abstinence, or the removal of your ovaries or testicles. (Incidentally, abortion is still legal in the US and most of Europe, just in case.)
2. If you cover your face with piercing jewelry, you may not be able to find a job. This also goes for doing weird things to your hair, and getting tattoos in conspicuous places. And for fuck’s sake, don’t give me any bullshit about “freedom of expression”, you little dumbass. You go right ahead and express yourself all you want, but body modification is not a constitutionally protected belief system. They can’t not hire you for being a Jew, but they certainly can not hire you for looking like a fucking freak. (caveat: I have both piercings and tattoos … nothing against tattoos, piercings or fucking freaks. Just don’t whine about it when you’re treated like one.)
3. It’s 2008. Racism is seriously outdated. That means, yes Virginia, it is TOTALLY FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE to refer to that black guy on TV as a “junglebunny.” Also, don’t use the word “they” as though black folks are some separate species who all think and act the same way. They’re “They” are humans, not dogs. And do I really need to remind you that “nigger” is a bad word?! Here’s a nice rule of thumb for you, dearie: If you wouldn’t say it to a black person’s face, you probably shouldn’t be saying it at all. (For those of you who really don’t get it, this also applies to spics, pakis, chinks, gooks, jews kikes, towelheads, and anyone else you care to slander.)
4. Spontaneous anal sex often involves small amounts of feces. Yes, yes it does. This point is mainly aimed at straight guys, who seem to have a frighteningly widespread lack of understanding on this issue. If you want your backdoor action all nice and sanitary, you need to plan ahead. Buy a little something called an anal douche, and find a way to gracefully suggest she use it before bed if you want a little booty nookie. If you just swap holes in the middle of the action, without such careful forethought, things often get messy … because guys, it’s a butt, and [big secret]there’s poop in there[/big secret]. And as long as we’re on the subject of anal …
5. Anal sex does not make you gay. Again, for the benefit of you straight boys. Even if you secretly want your girlfriend to bend you over with a strap on, it’s OK. You’re not gay. You know why? Because you want to be assfucked by a girl, not a boy. That’s what the whole “gay” thing is about: Liking boys instead of girls. Anal sex is irrelevant.
6. Marijuana is not a “gateway drug”. Oh sure, maybe 99% of “hard” drug users also smoke pot. And maybe a lot of them smoked pot before they got into crack or heroin or whatever. But that’s not because the pot made them do it, it’s because damn near fucking everyone has smoked pot at some point.
7. Creationism is bullshit. Seriously. A big magic guy in the clouds did not wiggle his fingers and create the earth in 6 days. Didn’t fucking happen. And I think anyone who professes to believe such a thing ought to be barred from political office. What if there was a religion claiming the world was flat, and the whole “round” thing was just an optical illusion created by God to test our faith? Would ANYONE be suggesting we teach it in schools? Would anyone vote for a politician who claimed to believe it? For fuck’s sake, people. It’s 2008. We have fossils. We have carbon dating. Get a clue!
8. You have no right to be proud, unless you did it yourself. That goes for anything from racial pride to patriotism. Your race, gender and nationality are fucking accidents of birth. Being proud of something you got stuck with when mamma squeezed you out is stupid. You have a right to be proud of your own personal accomplishments, and perhaps those of your children (if you were actually a good parent, and your kids didn’t succeed by sheer bloody-mindedness alone). That’s it. Your parents fucked, Mom got knocked up, and ~9 months later, there you were. Race, gender and nationality handed to you out of some cosmic lottery machine. Fuck your white pride, black pride, national pride, and all the horseshit that goes along with it.
9. Police and Politicians have a lot in common. Maybe half of them go into their chosen careers wanting to genuinely do good. Save people, and make the world a better place and all that. The other half are greedy, power-hungry fucks. And the good half? After a few years on the job, most of them have become so corrupted and/or insulated from the real world, they become vicious, rotten twats too. You can’t trust 90% of either of ’em.
10. America is not #1. Well, not unless you count military spending and handgun related deaths. We’re shit at public education. Our health care system is both the most expensive and the least effective in the developed world. Literacy, infant mortality, per capita living below the poverty line and/or without any health insurance … etc., etc. We’re kind of horrible at a whole lot of things, if you want to be honest about it. We’re also, on average, fat as fuck.

Written by Mystery Man

During my two-week hiatus (and inspired by Billy’s –The Movie on the Page), I went through a few screenplays to find great examples of –writing the shots. And I have four to share.

First, the opening scene from Hampton Fancher’s Blade Runner. He never used “we see” or camera angles, but his writing clearly implies with the Secondary Heading of “THE EYE” that the scene opens with an extreme close-up of an eye, which is essential to the story. His descriptions help visualize (without taking you out of the story by using technical jargon) that the camera would pan back to reveal that the eye is just an image on a screen. As we pan, we’d learn an important detail by seeing the VOIGHT-KAMPFF words on the mechanism. The camera would keep panning back to reveal the desk and then pan around or perhaps cut to Leon. We’d first see his nametag and the folded, pudgy hands in his lap before we move up to his face. Then there’s a cut to Holden, the man facing him, which reads like a medium shot (or thereabouts). It’s not until after the cut to Holden that we’re even given a description of the room.

How many aspiring writers would start with just a general description of the room and try to use dialogue to get out the VOIGHT-KAMPFF information as well as the names of the two characters in the room? This is such a great, writing-the-shots example of cinematic storytelling. It’s the way Fancher is thinking like a filmmaker that’s impressive to me. [The result in the finished film (if you can ever call Blade Runner a “finished film”) is slightly different. The shots are all there, as described in the script, but Ridley Scott would open the film with a shot of the city and an approaching vehicle that’s flying toward the Tyrell building so that you could see Holden pacing in a window as he waits for Leon to show up. Then he cuts to the interior of the room. Leon walks in, and for some reason, Ridley uses a VOICE OVER to introduce him. A computerized female voice says something like: “Next subject: Kowalski, Leon.” Ugh, makes me cringe every time. Ridley should’ve listened to his screenwriter.]

Second, here’s a scene written by Alex Proyas (with the help of David S. Goyer and Lem Dobbs) from the Dark City screenplay. This is a four-star film, one of Ebert’s Great Movies. He once went through the movie shot-by-shot with film students in Hawaii. It took him four days. He wrote, “Proyas likes deep-focus compositions. Many interior spaces are long and narrow. Exteriors look down one street to the vanishing point, and then the camera pans to look down another street, equally long. The lighting is low-key and moody. The color scheme depends on blacks, browns, shadows and the pallor of the Strangers; warmer colors exist in human faces, in neon signs and on the billboard for Shell Beach. ‘I am simply grateful for this shot,’ I said in Hawaii more than once. ‘It is as well-done as it can possibly be.’ Many other great films give you the same feeling — that their makers were carried far beyond the actual requirements of their work into the passion of creating something wonderful.”

Alex Proyas is a writer-director so this scene has some camera angles in it, which we would not write. It’s just as easy to say “SLEEPING EYES – between waves of light…” than “ANGLE ON SLEEPING EYES.” They both mean the same thing. Also, you could just as easily say “WALKER” instead of “TIGHT ON WALKER.” Instead of “P.O.V.”, you could write “He looks” and write “AROUND THE ROOM” as a Secondary Heading to imply a pan. In any case, I love the way he’s thinking visually here and begins this scene by moving the camera around the room, first with the glass syringe on the floor, over to the clothes on a chair, to the puddles of water, and up the tub to the sleeping eyes of Jonathan Walker. You can easily visualize the editing in this scene, too – where one shot ends and the next one begins.

Here’s a sequence from Robert Towne’s Chinatown, a script that really deserves no introduction. This is my favorite sequence in this script. Reading this for the first time years ago was such a revelation to me. I love the way Towne uses Secondary Headings to cut back and forth between Gittes and Mulwray. In the hands of lesser writers, this sequence could have been a bear to read and follow. With a pro like Robert Towne, it’s simple, seamless, and visual. As far as I’m concerned, there was no other way to write this sequence.

And finally, here’s the opening scene from The Long Kiss Goodnight by Shane Black. A number of elements I love about this scene. He has the camera panning from the windowpane over to the bed and to the eyes of the sleeping little girl who wakes up. It’s dark. The mother by the bed is just a vague shape. After a little dialogue, she turns on the nightlight, which brings a surprising visual revelation. And then we’re back to the mother by the bed and then back to same windowpane where we began. My man, Shane Black – I love his work.

Written by El Bicho

On Sunday February 24th, 2008, the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences will be holding their 80th Oscar ceremony to honor the year’s best achievement in cinema. The telecast/infomercial is one of the biggest worldwide events, and according to Wikipedia, “holds the distinction of having won the most Emmys in history, with 38 wins and 167 nominations.”

Of the 79 Best Pictures named, some films have stood the test of time and remain classics while others are have become duds that leave the viewer scratching their head, wondering what the voters of the time saw. While it’s completely unfair to compare the spectacle of Ben-Hur alongside the intimacy of Marty, this hasn’t stopped the Academy from their annual apples-to-oranges competition.

With this list, I chose to attempt to showcase the breadth of the honorees. Having the list reduced to ten means a great many titles are left out.

10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

The Best Picture award for Peter Jackson’s final chapter in the Lord of the Rings trilogy was really an award to recognize the work done on all three films since it was in essence one giant project. It is one of four films to sweep the categories it was nominated in, going 11 for 11, tying the record of wins held by Ben-Hur and Titanic.

9. All About Eve

Joseph L. Mankiewicz’ film of deceit and betrayal is still compelling as the world of celebrity and show business forever continues to fascinate and draw people to take part. Eve pretends to be a fan, but she’s really come to take the life of Margo Channing in a figurative sense. Hard to believe Bette Davis came in to replace Claudette Colbert shortly before filming because it’s one of her greatest roles. The film won six awards.

8. Midnight Cowboy

Even more so than Billy Wilder’s The Lost Weekend, Midnight Cowboy displays a stark, gritty realism rarely seen in Hollywood films even today. Joe Buck has come to New York City to ply his trade as a male prostitute, but has a tough go of it. Ratso Rizzo is a crippled con man who lives on the streets. Together, they maneuver through the mean streets as best they can. The film won three awards and it is the only X-rated film to ever receive an Oscar.

7. Unforgiven

Clint Eastwood’s film reveals the reality behind the accepted myths of the Western genre. The heroes and villains aren’t clear-cut, violence has ramifications, and alcohol not bravery or nobility fuels the fighting. The film won four awards and is the last Western to win Best Picture.

6. West Side Story

Stephen Sondhiem and Leonard Bernstein’s take on Romeo & Juliet transports the story to the streets of New York with the warring families replaced by street gangs. There’s a purpose to Jerome Robbins’ choreography beyond dancing for its own sake. The film won 10 awards and in addition Robbins was presented an honorary award for Brilliant Achievements in the Art of Choreography on Film.

5. Annie Hall

The film is the perfect synthesis of Woody Allen as it retains his sense of humor like the early, funny ones, but he stretches out as both a writer and director, using the medium like he never had before. While the events as presented in a fantastic manner, it is a realistic love story. The film won four awards.

4. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Based on the brilliant novel by Ken Kesey, who initially wasn’t happy with the loss of the narrator or the casting of Jack Nicholson, the film tells the story of McMurphy, who fakes insanity so he can serve out the rest of his prison term in the perceived comfort of a mental institution. There’s a surprising amount of humor for a film that plays out like a classic tragedy. The film won five awards.

3. The Godfather

Marlon Brando leads the Corleone family and an amazing cast in Francis Ford Coppola;s adaptation of Mario Puzo’s novel. The film spans ten years and presents the transformation of Michael from civilian to Don. While some understandably find Part II to be a superior film, it needed The Godfather to lay the foundation. The film won three awards.

2. Lawrence of Arabia

David Lean’s glorious epic based loosely on the life of T.E. Lawrence and his time in Arabia during World War I. Freddie Young’s amazing Super Panavision 70 cinematography and Peter O’Toole’s star-making performance are the standouts in this film whose story of war in the Middle East unfortunately still resonates today. The film won seven awards.

1. Casablanca

Voted the best screenplay of all time by the Writers Guild of America, west in 2006, this classic film tells the tale of Rick and Ilsa, whose relationship was interrupted when she discovered her husband Victor was still alive. Their love triangle plays out in Morocco as Victor and Ilsa are on the run from the Nazis and need the letters of transit Rick has obtained. It’s a flawless film about love and sacrifice. The film won three awards.

Written by copybrighter

1. Before YouTube… there was “America’s Funniest Home Videos”

This 90’s television smash-hit, based on a Japanese show, kicked off user-generated video content in America. People submitted home videos of babies with nail guns, dogs on fire, and grandmas falling down, in hopes of winning a weekly cash prize.

2. Before Twitter… there was IRC.

Internet Relay Chat (IRC) is a UNIX-based system of chat servers that was introduced in late 1988. A series of networks and thousands of channels allowed people to “tweet” about various topics, share cool links, and offer technical support. Twitter now offers a somewhat similar experience with a more user-friendly interface and mobile support.

3. Before blogs… there were ‘zines.

image credit: Laughing Squid

If you wanted to delve in the world of personal publishing in the early 90’s, it was pretty spendy. Desktop publishing with Adobe Pagemaker required investing big bucks into a high-end Mac and a state-of-the-art laser printer. Most young people stuck to cutting and pasting scraps onto blank paper and then xeroxing the final product.

4. Before podcasts… there were codelines.

image credit: Killbox

In the 90’s, when digital voice mail was a cutting-edge corporate technology, there was a vibrant voice mail hacking scene. Phone phreaks from all over the United States would sequentially “scan” 1-800 exchanges for voice mail boxes (VMBs) and use default passwords to take over employees’ (unused) voice mail boxes. They would record long informational greeting messages, known as “codelines.” Codelines began with music and “shouts out” to other phone phreaks and then segued into first-generation “podcasts” packed with underground content: freshly hacked calling cards and credit cards, conference calls PINs, and global outdial passwords.

5. Before blogrolls and comments… there were web rings and guest books.

Sites on similar subjects used link out to each other in a promotional circle jerk called a “web ring.” Guestbooks used to be the hot way to leave comments, until bots were developed to harvest the e-mail addresses for the the worst kinds of spam imaginable.

6. Before Facebook… there was the 20th annual high school reunion.

image credit: Alan Light

You’d have to wait in 20 year increments – and buy a plane ticket – to catch up with many of your old friends or see their photo albums. Seriously.

7. Before Skype… there were k0dez and bridges.

Before VOIP and cell phone plans, it was rather expensive to make a long distance call. In some cases you’d pay over a dollar a minute (!) to “reach out and touch someone.” The early-adopters (a.k.a. “phone phreaks”) used home computer software to hack out calling card codes (“k0dez”) to keep in touch. For teleconferencing, phreaks would hack out corporate phone systems’ conferencing nodes, called “bridges.” Epic rap sessions and knowledge downloads would go on for weeks… until the corporate host got a massive phone bill, found out, and shut it down. Check out these awesome vintage recordings.

8. Before eBay… there was the pawn shop.

image credit:Duien

Same questionable items, high fees and unsavory characters – but in an actual, real-life retail location!

9. Before the iPhone… there was the PayPhone.

Before technology allowed people to yak loudly on cellphones in restaurants, they had to go out to the payphone.

image credit:Aaroynx

And if they wanted to make a long distance call, they’d need an entire roll of quarters. The 90’s equivalent of an “unlimited calling plan” was a toll-fraud device called a red box. Red boxes were modified Radio Shack touch-tone dialers that made the same sound a Bell payphone made when a quarter was inserted. By the end of the decade, Radio Shack had discontinued the device and Bell had upgraded to digital equipment. Thankfully, cellphones were becoming affordable, mainstream communications devices by then.

10. Before P2P file sharing… there was Columbia House Records.

image credit:joe madonna

Before DRM and iTunes – people downloaded music from Napster and burned it on a $569 external CD-R drive. Non-technical people who wanted free tracks got tempted by magazine ads that promised “Get 8 CD’s for Just One Penny!” and they were unwittingly signed up for recurring CD subscriptions. Then they got slapped with a huge bill afterwards – the old-school equivalent of an RIAA settlement.

11. Before Craigslist… there was the men’s room wall.

image credit: simon slade

Local newspapers would only publish “vanilla” dating ads. So, how did geeks and other shy people manage to hook up? The restroom wall, of course! Gay guys would post phone numbers and set meeting times for man-to-man encounters. Straight dudes would post the numbers of their ex’s and innocent girls they wanted to harass.

12. Before Digg… there was your local newspaper’s “Top Stories of the Year” issue.

You used to have to wait until December to find out hottest story of the year. And the news stories were picked by crusty old editors. Now there’s an infinite stream of high-quality, uncensored content and entertainment – all just a mouse click away.

Isn’t it great to be living in the 21st century?

Written by Christian

Image by borghetti

Men are widely known for their straight talking and tell-it-like-it-is attitude. But sometimes, us gentlemen say things that we really do not mean. Things that more often than not, get us into trouble. It’s written into our DNA. We have to protect our manliness at all costs. If it means bragging about scoring with a porn star you met at a strip club – then so be it. We never reveal the truth that we were actually escorted from the premises for trying to ‘fondle’ said porn star! So what common things do we say and not mean? Let’s investigate.

15. I want to learn a new language. Do we really want to learn a new language? The majority of people struggle to perfect the Queen’s English and the advent of social media sites such as Facecrap has only made it worse. You’re not going to become the voice of your generation simply because you’re talking Italian!

14. “Let’s put the tip in, just for a second to see what it feels like.” As if! This is standard practice for deflowering women the world over. There was never going to come a point when we said, “Right okay, that’s not working for me. I’ll just pull it out and put my clothes back on.”

13. “I’m only having one drink tonight, lads.” Men are genetically incapable of having just one drink at the pub! One pint quickly progresses into karaoke madness, arm-wrestling competitions, a quick fumble in the toilet with the porky barmaid we swore we’d never touch and ends with us declaring our undying love to our best mate!

12. “It’s not you, it’s me.” This is the biggest lie ever uttered by man. Even women have got in on the act and are now using it as a way to dump us! The truth is – it is you but I don’t want to hurt your feelings. You’re too fat, crap in bed, you moan all the time, your friends are hotter and you smell really bad.

11. “Yeah, Dog Day Afternoon is a masterpiece of directing.” This doesn’t particularly apply to Dog Day Afternoon, but any movie that comes up in discussion down the pub that you haven’t seen! We try to blag our way through the conversation despite knowing nothing about the film, the cast, the plot or even what constitutes a masterpiece of directing!

10. “We need to catch up soon over a pint.” Don’t you just hate bumping into that annoying twat from school who was the sports star, ladies man and all around nice guy! The only way to get rid of him short of a shotgun is to agree to meet up soon. Preferably, when hell freezes over.

9. “Your new girlfriend is lovely mate. Really nice.” Well, what else can you say? “I know you’re lonely since the love of your life dumped you for her yoga instructor, but you need to set your standards a little higher than a woman with more facial hair than ZZ Top!”

8. “Give me the hottest curry on the menu. NOW!” In a desperate bid to show our manliness, we try to convince ourselves that shoving a vindaloo down our throats is the best way to establish our male dominance. In reality, we’re crying on the inside!

7. “I’m rethinking my career choices.” Every now and again we get a little jaded with our worklife and decide to research the possibility of joining an Alaskan crab-fishing crew. Obviously, we get bored quickly and check to see if anyone posted a comment on our zany “Get Me Out Of This Office” blog.

6. “Keep that up and I’ll phone the police.” We know we won’t call the police. We’d have to repeat the post code ten times to the operator, have to let the fuzz into our home to ask us questions and then watch as they drive away – never to hear from them again. Besides, chavs measure their success through ASBO’s so really, what’s the point?

5. “I’ll pay you back mate, I promise.” To be fair, this is half true. We will, eventually, pay you back. Once we’ve paid off our 50? LCD-HD telly, our yearly subscription to The Adult Channel, our gym membership and our brand-new Audi S3.

4. “Of course I’m listening to you, dear.” This is usually followed by a few caveman grunts and a nod or two. We’re not really listening but we are paying just enough attention to not get caught watching the football while you describe, in excruciating detail, everything that happened to you today.

3. “I’m not like other guys. I don’t kiss and tell.” This is a loop-hole in the dating system that men have exploited for years. Technically, we don’t kiss and tell. When we’re bragging to our mates about shagging you in the back of the car, the last thing we’d ever want to tell them about is the kissing!

2. “She’s just a friend.” Yeah, she’s just a really hot, big bosomed, nymphomaniac friend. Who are you trying to kid, chief?

1. “Oi! You and me, outside, right now!” In a desperate attempt to solidify our dominance in the presence of another alpha-male we try to bluff our way out of it by calling them out! For the love of God, why?? Chances are he’s going to answer your bluff with one of his own. The best you can hope for is that you’re both regretting your decision and when you get face to face, you have a bit of a shout, a few shoves and maybe beat your chest in that ever-so manly way before your mates mercifully pull you away!

What’s missing then gents (and ladies)? Drop a message in the comments and we’ll add them in.

Written by zenhabits Photo by Olivier Bareau

“Everything has been figured out, except how to live.” – Jean-Paul Sartre

I’m nearly 35 years old, and I’ve made my share of mistakes in my life. I’m not a big believer in regrets … and I have learned tremendously from every single mistake … and my life is pretty great.

However, there are a few things I wish I had known when I was graduating from high school and starting out as an adult in life.

Would I change things? I’m not so sure. I might never have gotten into a mountain of debt, but then I wouldn’t have learned the amazing satisfaction of getting out of it. I might have made better career choices, but then I wouldn’t have all the work experience that makes me the blogger and writer that I am today.

I might not have gotten married that first time, so that I would never have gotten divorced … but then I wouldn’t have my first two beautiful wonderful incredible children from that first marriage.

I don’t think I would change any of that. However, looking back, there are some lessons I’ve learned that I would probably tell my 18-year-old self. Do I share them now to share my regrets? No, I share them in hopes that younger men and women, just starting out in life, can benefit from my mistakes and my lessons.

What follows isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s one that I hope proves useful to at least a few people.

“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.” – Jack Handey

1. How to control impulse spending. If there’s anything that got me in trouble financially, it’s impulse spending. Buying clothes when I don’t need them. Buying gadgets because I gotta have them. Ordering stuff online because it’s so easy. Buying that new shiny SUV because … well, because it was going to help me with women. I’m not proud of any of that. I’ve learned to control my impulses, at least a little better. Now, I give myself some time to breathe. I think over my purchases, see if I’ve got the money, think about whether it’s a need or a want. That would have been a useful tool 15 years ago.
   
2. You gotta stay active. I was in track, cross country and basketball in high school, but once I started college, the running and basketball began to slowly fade away. Not right away – I played pick-up basketball for years after high school. But even that went away, until I became sedentary. Playing with my kids outdoors winded me. And I began to get fat. I’ve reversed that trend, and am very active now, but I’m still trying to burn the fat I gained in those inactive years.
   
3. How to plan finances. I always knew that I was supposed to budget and track my spending, when I became an adult. I just was too lazy to do it. And I didn’t have a good idea of how to actually do it. Now, I’ve learned how to plan, and how to stick to that plan. Sure, I deviate from my plan, but I’ve learned how to handle that too. Maybe that’s not a skill you can learn from book reading. You just gotta practice. Well, I hope to teach it to my children before they go out on their own.
   
4. Junk food will come back to bite you in the butt. Yeah, it wasn’t just the sedentary lifestyle that got me fat. It was all the damn junk food too. I would eat pizza and burgers and Twinkies and sugar cereal and desserts and donuts and … well, you get the picture. As someone used to being able to eat whatever I wanted, it never seemed like it would be a problem. Bad health was something to worry about when you got old. Well, my jeans began to get way too tight, and to my horror, I climbed several pants sizes and developed a gut that only now is going away. I wish someone had shown me an “after” picture when I was young and downing the Big Gulp sodas.
   
5. Smoking is just dumb. I didn’t start smoking until I was well into my adult years. I won’t go into why I started, but it didn’t seem like a problem, because I knew I could quit anytime I wanted. Or I thought I could, at least, until several years later I gave it a go and couldn’t do it. Five failed quits later and I realized with horror that my addiction was stronger than I was. Sure, I eventually beat the habit (quit date: Nov. 18, 2005) but it took a piece of my soul to do it.
   
6. Fund your retirement, son. And don’t withdraw it. This piece of wisdom, and probably all the ones above, might seem blisteringly obvious. And they are. Don’t think I didn’t know this when I was 18. I did. I just didn’t pay it serious attention. Retirement was something I could worry about when I was in my 30s. Well, I’m in my 30s now and I wish I could slap that little 18-year-old Leo around a bit. What money I could have invested by now! I had a retirement plan, but on the 3 occasions when I changed jobs, I withdrew that and spent it frivolously.
7. All the stuff you’re doing that seems hard – it will be of use. This is the first one that might not be as obvious. There were times in my life when work was hard, and I did it anyway, but hated it. I did it because I had to, but boy did it stress me out and leave me exhausted. Hard work isn’t as easy as I wanted it to be. But you know what? Every bit of hard work I did without knowing why I was doing it … it’s paid off for me in the long run. Maybe not right away, but I’m using skills and habits I learned during those times of high stress and long hours and tedious work – I use them all the time, and they’ve made me into the person I am today. Thank you, younger Leo!
   
8. Don’t buy that used van without checking it out closely. I thought I was being smart by buying used, but I didn’t check it out carefully enough. That dang van had loads of engine problems, a door that nearly fell off when I was driving, a door handle that snapped off, a side mirror that fell off, no spare tire despite three tires that were ready to blow (and did), windows that didn’t roll up, rattling noises, an eventual blown radiator … I could go on and on, but let’s just say that it wasn’t my best purchase. I still think buying used is smart, but check things out closely first.
   
9. That guy you’re going to sell your car to? On a gentleman’s agreement? He’s not gonna pay you. I sold another car to a friend of a friend, who I was sure would pay me even if I had nothing in writing. That was smart. I still see the guy once in awhile on the road, but I don’t have the energy to do a U-turn and chase after him.
10. Make time to pursue your passion, no matter how busy you are. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, and get a book published. I just never had time to write. With a family and school and a full-time job, there just weren’t enough hours in the day. Well, I’ve learned that you have to make those hours. Set aside a block of time to do what you love, cut out other stuff from your life that take up your time, and don’t let anything interfere with that work. If I had done that 15 years ago, I could have 15 books written by now. Not all would be great, but still.
11. All that stuff that’s stressing you out – it won’t matter in 5 years, let alone 15. When things are happening to you right now, they mean all the world. I had deadlines and projects and people breathing down my neck, and my stress levels went through the roof. I don’t regret the hard work (see above) but I think I would have been less stressed if I could have just realized that it wouldn’t matter a single bit just a few years down the road. Perspective is a good thing to learn.
12. The people you make friends with are so much more important than your job or the things you buy. I’ve had a few jobs, I’ve bought a lot of things, and I’ve made a few friends over these last 15 years. Of those, the only thing that still matter to me are the friends. And I wish I could have spent more time with friends (and family) than on the other things.
13. All that time you spend watching TV is a huge, huge waste of time. I don’t know how much TV I’ve watched over the years, but it’s a crapload. Hours and days and weeks I’ll never have back. Who cares what happens on reality TV, when reality is slipping by outside? Time is something you’ll never get back – don’t waste it on TV.
    
14. Your kids are going to grow up way faster than you think. Don’t waste a minute. I just had an Oh My God moment recently. My oldest daughter, Chloe, is 14 going on 15 next month. I have 3 years left with her before she leaves my house and becomes an adult. Three years! I am floored by that single fact, because it really doesn’t seem anywhere near enough time. I want to go back to my younger self and whack that younger Leo on the head and say Stop working so hard! Stop watching TV! Spend more time with your kids! These last 15 years with Chloe (and my other wonderful kids) have gone by much, much too fast.
15. Forget the drama. Focus on being happy. There have been many things that have happened to me, professionally and personally, that seem like the end of the world. And while these things were bad, they get blown up in our heads so that they become major drama. They caused me to be depressed from time to time. What a waste of time. If I realized that it was all in my head, and that I could be happy instead if I focused on the positive, on what I did have, and what I could be doing … I could have skipped all the moping about.
16. Pay more attention to blogs when you first hear about them. They’re more than just journals. I first read about blogs 7-8 years ago, but when I took a look at them they didn’t seem like anything of interest. Just some people’s journals about stuff they read on the web. Why would I want to read those? I have my own thoughts about the web, but I don’t need to share them with the world. I spent a lot of time on the Internet, on various sites and forums, but every time I happened upon a blog I would brush past it without interest. It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I discovered what wonderful things they could be (I mentioned some of my early favorites in my list of influences). If I had gotten into blogging years ago … well, I wouldn’t have been wasting all that time.
17. Speaking of which, keep a journal. Seriously. Your memory is extremely faulty. I forget things really easily. Not short-term stuff, but long-term. I don’t remember things about my kids’ early years, because I didn’t record any of it. I don’t remember things about my life. It’s like a lot of foggy memories that I’ll never have access to. I wish I had kept a journal.
18. Tequila is seriously evil. I won’t go into details, but it should suffice to say that I had some bad experiences, and I’m not sure I learned very much from them or benefited in any way except to learn that tequila is the drink of the Devil.
19. Yes, you can do a marathon. Don’t put this goal off – it’s extremely rewarding. Running a marathon had always been a dream of mine, since high school … something I wanted to do but thought was out of reach. Or if I ever did it, it would be years and years later. Well, I learned that it’s not only achievable, it’s incredibly rewarding. I wish I had started training when I was young and light and fit … I could have had some good finishing times!
20. All these mistakes you’re going to make, despite this advice? They’re worth it. My 18-year-old self would probably have read this post and said, “Good advice!” And then he would have proceeded to make the same mistakes, despite good intentions. I was a good kid, but I wasn’t good at following advice. I had to make my own mistakes, and live my own life. And that’s what I did, and I don’t regret a minute of it. Every experience I’ve had (even the tequila ones) have led me down the path of life to where I am today. I love where I am today, and wouldn’t trade it for another life for all the world. The pain, the stress, the drama, the hard work, the mistakes, the depression, the hangovers, the debt, the fat … it was all worth it.

“Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” – Mark Twain

Source collegehumor.com