Written by Jeff & Patrick This article is from collegehumor

Some jokes are funny because they’re true. Here are seven jokes that were funny because they weren’t true, yet.

Joke: The Chris Rock Show (1997)

Reality: OJ Simpson’s “If I Did It, Here’s How It Happened” (2006)

In their first ever sketch, the writers of HBO’s “The Chris Rock Show” really did predict that OJ would one day come clean and tell us with a wink how everything happened. Chris Rock’s comedy was always fearless – his guest for that premiere episode was Johnnie Cochran. There was a little bit of luck in how close Chris came to foretelling the future, but it wasn’t magic. He just extrapolated OJ’s smug attitude and thought, “Where is this heading, and how can we take it one step further?” Unfortunately, like so many writers on this list, they underestimated how far their subject would go.

Unfortunately, Pootie Tang has yet to come true.

Joke: Mr. Show’s “Blowing Up The Moon” (1997)

Reality: Toby Keith’s Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American” (2001)

When “Mr. Show”s Bob Odenkirk and David Cross wanted to lampoon the aggressive American pride of country music in 1996, they wrote “Blew Moon,” a patriotic music video by “C.S. Lewis, Jr.” Lewis celebrates an absurd NASA plan to blow up our lunar neighbor by standing in front of the Stars and Stripes with a guitar and warning the celestial object, “You don’t mess around with God’s America.” It was therefore surprising when, five years later, real-life country musician Toby Keith, in an equally pompous though far less ironic move, decided the best way to respond to our crucial post-9/11 international relations was by throwing on a Stetson hat and informing the Middle East, “We’ll put a boot in your ass.” Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” expresses a nationalistic desire to do to every country east of Turkey what “Blew Moon” wanted to do to a heavenly body. And while the Moon may seem the more foolish target, unlike the Middle East, it doesn’t have Kalishnikovs and angry Muslims.

Joke: The Onion’s “Fuck Everything We’re Doing Five Blades” by the CEO of Gillette (February 2004)

Reality: The five-bladed Gillette Fusion (January 2006)

The Onion’s classic “Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades” wasn’t the first time someone predicted razors growing out of control. MAD Magazine did an article about a seventy-six bladed razor in 1979, and twenty years later MADtv produced a fake commercial for the relatively tame Mach 20. The Onion’s article still feels the most prescient. They predicted not only the number of blades in Gilette’s Fusion line of razors, but also the Lubrastrip (“Put another aloe strip on that fucker”) and even the trimmer blade that rests on the back of the cartridge (“Make the blades so thin they’re invisible. Put some on the handle. I don’t care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!”). Most importantly the humor doesn’t come from an absurd number of blades, but from the nationwide pissing contest between Gillette and their competitors.

Joke: Donald Kaufman’s script in Adaptation (2002)

Reality: The script for Identity (2003)

(SPOILER WARNING: Major plot points of Identity revealed below)

Of all movies in the “film within a film” sub-genre, 2002’s “Adaptation” lives up to its self-referential premise best. Rather than poking fun at tired Hollywood stereotypes (“Actors are vain! Movie producers are greedy! Take that, showbiz!”), Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman’s story of a neurotic screenwriter finds humor in the un-originality of movies today. Specifically with The 3, an achingly predictable script about a schizophrenic serial killer. But where audiences saw a clever critique of boring movies, Columbia Pictures saw its next paycheck: Identity, released a year later, is essentially The 3 with John Cusack thrown in. In the thriller’s third act we learn the cops, the victims, and the killer all exist in a one person’s mind. In addition to renforcing Adaptation‘s commentary on the lack of creativity in manstream films, Identity proposes the theory that the interior of the human mind looks like a motel, and our sub-concious is Ray Liotta.

Joke: The Simpsons “Last Exit to Springfield” (1993)

Reality: Batman & Robin (1997)

In that wondrous pre-political era when Arnold Schwarzenegger was content blowing shit up in front of a camera, you didn’t have to be Nostradamus to predict the Conan the Barbarian star would continue making his signature awful puns. But, as always, The Simpsons took the Blue Ribbon for Schwarzenegger-based humor when the cartoon’s Arnold doppleganger, Rainer Wolfcastle, punches his way through an ice-sculpture at an evil millionaire’s soirée and cries, “Ice to see you.” But if the Simpsons‘s writing staff thought the ill-fitting pun would deter future future filmmakers from having Schwarzenegger recite “ice” jokes, they grossly underestimated Batman and Robin director Joel Schumaker. Not only did Schumaker have Arnold as Mr. Freeze bring back the “ice” pun, he subjected viewers to 90 minutes of low-temperature-related quibbles in a film that explains why Christopher Nolan saw the need to hit the RESET button on the Batman franchise.

(Special thanks to Scott Gairdner for his remarkable “Mr. Freeze” montage.)

Joke: Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)

Reality: Rocky Balboa (2006)

Long Before the God-awful Scary Movie franchise ruined the goofball genre with six years of Britney Spears jokes, the Zucker brothers (Airplane! , The Naked Gun) turned zaniness into an art form and provided Leslie Nielsen with work for fifteen years. But even the Zuckers weren’t immune from the pop-culture humor that soured the Wayans Bros.’ Scary series into what are now the shitteist reels of celluloid currently festering in American theaters. That said, the 1982 sequel to their Airport spoof, Airplane!, was at least prophetic in its requisite pop-culture jokes. A brief gag in Airplane II: The Sequel shows a theatrical poster for Rocky XXXVIII and a feeble, geriatric Stallone in gloves and boxing trunks. Who would have guessed that, 24 years later, a 60-year-old Stallion would return to the ring in earnest for Rocky Balboa? And, being released in the early ’80s, not only does the joke predict Balboa, it also predicts Rocky IV and V.

Joke: The Critic’s “Hunch! The Musical” (1994)

Reality: Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Short-lived but well-remembered, The Critic‘s bread and butter was pop culture parodies. Every week the writers challenged themselves to come up with more terrible-yet-plausible movies for their critic, Jay Sherman, to endure. One memorable sequence lampooned Disney’s tradition of turning macabre fairy tales into sugar by making Jay endure a Broadway musical based on the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Just two years later, Disney was selling plush dolls of Quasimodo with an adorable and soft wart over his eye. Both the Critic and Disney’s musical Hunchbacks turn the book’s villains into heroes, take out the sex, and let everyone live at the end. The only thing Jay Sherman didn’t see coming was the direct-to-video sequel, The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2.

Written by lets get tight

Being a performer can be a demanding job. When you are playing a dynamite live show, all eyes are on you, watching your EVERY move. Sometimes gravity can get the best of you and in one second you could go from swaying to “Sweet Child O’ Mine” to getting a nice sample of the tasty floor.

Take a look at these performers taking some embarrassing spills.

1.) Beyonce’ is focusing a little too much on head banging and not enough on the giant staircase she’s standing on.

2.) Jason Newsted of Metallica goes the untraditional route of falling up the stairs.

3.) Some dude strutting his stuff.

4.) Kelsey Grammer is doing a little too much deep thinking.

5.) This one I am going to hell for. This is an actress who plays Helen Keller, eating shit at a play. Such dedication to the role. What? I already said I’m going to hell; might as well get my money’s worth.

Written by lifehacker

On Tuesday we asked for your favorite instant messaging applications, and over 550 comments later, we’ve culled it down to the most popular five. From web-based chat to desktop clients to tools that combine IM, email, and social networking, your nominations spanned a wide range of instant messaging applications. Let’s take a closer look at the five most voted-for apps, and face them off against each other in a final showdown to crown the ultimate favorite.

Digsby (Windows)

The youngest application by far to make the Hive Five, Digsby has taken the world by storm since we first mentioned it in February. Boasting integration with all of your IM networks as well as your email and social networking (Facebook and MySpace included), Digsby is converting new users left and right with their simple but appealing formula: IM + Email + Social Networking = Digsby. Currently a Windows only app, Digsby’s developers promise that Mac and Linux versions are in the oven-and that they’re constantly squashing bugs from the still-young Windows version.

Pidgin (Windows/Linux)

Formerly known as Gaim, this cross-platform, open source IM client has a huge following on both Windows and Linux platforms, estimating over 3 million users in 2007. Much like Firefox, Pidgin is open and extensible, meaning you can add your own improved functionality and tools to Pidgin by simply installing a plug-in (like one of these 10 must-have Pidgin plug-ins.)

Meebo (Web)

By far the most popular web-based chat application, Meebo boasts support for all popular chat networks, video and voice chat, and even an iPhone interface. Meebo’s main appeal is that it works wherever you are, no matter what operating system you’re using, as long as you’ve got a web browser and an internet connection. Can’t go wrong with that.

Adium (Mac OS X)

The overwhelming favorite chat app for OS X, Adium puts Apple’s default IM application, iChat, to shame. Like Pidgin, Adium is highly customizable, extensible with plug-ins, and works across all your favorite IM networks. In fact, Adium is kind of like a brother from a different mother to Pidgin; it got its brain from Pidgin’s daddy, libpurple, but its looks straight from the dangerous maiden that is OS X.

Trillian (Windows)

Once an overwhelming favorite for cross-network instant messaging, Trillian has lost a lot of users to newer apps like Digsby or fresher ones like Pidgin. That said, the long-awaited update to Trillian, Trillian Astra, is still in alpha, and those who have tried it continue to place all of their IM trust to Trillian. In the future, Trillian is also promising a Mac release along with an iPhone version, so it may have plenty of life in it yet.

Now let’s see if we can’t crown a favorite.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Honorable mention goes to Miranda IM and Google Talk/Google Chat, both of which barely missed the cut.

Whether or not your chat app of choice made the top five, let’s hear what you love about it in the comments.

Written by S Peter Davis This article is come from Cracked.com

High school was hard enough, what with all the video games and boobies to distract us from our homework. What makes it even harder is having to unlearn all of the stuff they taught us in elementary school that turned out to be utter bullshit.

To this day you can even hear some adults repeating these “amazing” historical tales that, years ago, somebody just pulled out of their ass:

#5.

Columbus Discovered the Earth is Round

The story we heard:
In 1492, a Spanish ponce by the name of Christopher Columbus won his long-standing feud with the monarchy and the Catholic church to get funding for a voyage to East Asia. They were afraid that he would fail spectacularly, because everybody knew that the Earth was a flat disc, and the direction Columbus was sailing in would cause him to fall off the edge and into the mouth of the giant turtle that supported it.

Columbus, as we were told, did fail to reach his destination, but not because the world was flat–it was because he crashed into the future greatest nation on Earth, baby! Thus, Columbus proved the world was round, discovered America, and a national holiday was born.

The truth:
In the 1400s, the flat-earth theory was taken about as seriously as the Time Cube theory is today, if not less so. The shape of the world has been pretty much settled since the orb theory was first proposed by the ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras, around 2,000 years before the existence of Spain.

In fact, the navigational techniques of Columbus’ time were actually based on the fact that the Earth was a sphere. Trying to navigate the globe as if it was a flat plane would have fucked up the trip even more than it was.

Artists’ representation

The Spanish government’s reluctance to pay for Columbus’ expeditions didn’t have anything to do with their misconceptions about the shape of the world. Ironically, it was because Columbus himself severely underestimated the size of the Earth and everybody knew it. The distance he planned to travel wouldn’t have taken him anywhere near Asia. Nevertheless, he eventually scraped together enough funds to embark on his ridiculous adventure, and the clusterfuck that was the Columbus voyage has been celebrated annually in the Americas and in Spain ever since.

So where did the myth come from? It began with author and historical charlatan Washington Irving, who wrote a novel about Columbus in 1838. The novel was fiction, but some elements managed to creep into our history textbooks anyway, probably by some editors who wanted to spice it up a bit. Who’s going to read a history book that’s just filled with a bunch of boring shit anyway?

#4.

Einstein Flunked Math

The story we heard:
Motivational speakers love to tell this tale, inspiring underachievers with the story of this German kid who was just like you! Despite his sincerest efforts he could never manage to do well in his math exams, and struggled desperately with physics while working as a lowly patent clerk.

That muddled kid grew up to be Albert Fucking Einstein! And if he can do it, then so can you!

The truth:
Well, no you can’t. As it turns out, Einstein was a mathematical prodigy, and before he was 12, he was already better at arithmetic and calculus than you are now. Einstein was in fact so fucking smart that he believed school was holding him back, and his parents purchased advanced textbooks for him to study from. Not only did he pass math with flying colors, it’s entirely possible that he was actually teaching the class by the end of semester.

The idea that Einstein did badly at school is thought to have originated with a a 1935 Ripley’s Believe it or Not! trivia column.

Not the actual column

There’s actually a good reason why it’s a bad idea to include Robert Ripley among the references in your advanced university thesis. The famous bizarre trivia “expert” never cited his sources, and the various “facts” he presented throughout his career were an amalgamation of things he thought he read somewhere, heard from somebody, or pulled out of his ass. The feature’s title probably should have been: Believe it or Not! I Get Paid Either Way, Assholes.

When he was first shown this supposed expose of his early life, Einstein allegedly just laughed, and probably went on to solve another 12 mysteries of quantum physics before dinner. By the time he finally kicked the bucket in 1955, it’s entirely possible that “failure” was the one concept that Albert Einstein had never managed to master.

Of course, this just reaffirms what we have always suspected, deep down: success really is decided at birth, and your life will never be better than it is right now. Sorry about that.

#3.

Newton and the Apple

The story we heard:
You’ve probably heard of Isaac Newton. He’s pretty much the Jesus of physics. In the late 17th century, Newton practically fucking invented science. The discoveries we can thank him for include the laws of motion, the visible spectrum, the speed of sound, the law of cooling, and calculus. Yes, all of goddamn calculus. One wonders if anybody in history ever had a thought before Newton.

Probably his most famous discovery, however, is the law of gravity. The story goes that Newton, a modest mathematician and professor of physics, was sitting under the shade of an apple tree one sunny day, when an apple dropped from a branch and bopped him right on the head.

While most people would merely think “Ouch! Son of a bitch!” and stare warily upward for 10 minutes, Newton’s first instinct was to formulate the entire set of universal laws governing the motion of gravitating bodies, a theory so sound that it went unchallenged and unmodified for over 200 years.

The truth:
Newton never mentioned the thing with the apple, and in fact it was another guy named John Conduitt who first told the story some 60 years after it supposedly happened. Even then, he was decisively vague about whether Newton actually saw an apple, or whether the apple is a metaphor that he used to illustrate the idea of gravity for people less intelligent than he was (read: everybody):

“Whilst he was musing in a garden it came into his thought that the power of gravity (which brought an apple from the tree to the ground) was not limited to a certain distance from the earth but that this power must extend much further.”

You’ll notice that even then we don’t get the thing with the apple actually hitting Newton in the head, it got added somewhere along the line to add the element of cartoonish slapstick to his genius life.

Future versions will say that Newton then vomited in agony.

We like to think complex discoveries happen this way, with a sudden light bulb popping on over our head. Kind of makes it seem like it could happen to us one day, the next great idea will just occur to us while we’re wasting the afternoon on a park bench. In reality, Newton spent the best part of his life formulating and perfecting his theories.

When we have kids, we’re going to tell them the truth, dammit. Just Newton, hunched over his piles of papers covered with clouds of tiny numbers. Just months and years of tedious, grinding, silent, lonely work, until he had a nervous breakdown and finally died years later, insane from Mercury poisoning. Welcome to the real world, Timmy.

#2.

Washington and the Cherry Tree

The story:
It’s a parable that resonates through every primary school student’s retelling of the life and times of the man who was both America’s first president, and the only president to also have been a superhero.

As a child, we were told, George Washington came into possession of a hatchet, and went about his days chopping the shit out of everything he saw. One day he came upon his father’s prize cherry tree, and without so much as a second thought he chopped that sucker down, presumably because it was a Monarchist. Upon being quizzed by his father about the event, Washington proudly admitted that he had been the culprit, due to his inability to lie. The story was later loosely adapted to film with Jim Carrey in the leading role.

The truth:
In a fairly cynical culture, George Washington has still been elevated to the status of some kind of deity, thanks in part to a man named Mason Locke Weems. He was the author of the unfortunately titled biography “The Life of George Washington, with Curious Anecdotes Laudable to Himself and Exemplary to his Countrymen.” This was the shortest title his editors could persuade him to agree to.

Weems recalled many fantastic stories about Washington, with particular emphasis on his overwhelming moral fortitude and infallibility. The cherry tree story is of particular importance, because it demonstrates that Washington can easily destroy things, and just chooses not to.

According to Weems, “at the sight of him, even those blessed spirits seem[ed] to feel new raptures.” That’s right, when the angels learned of the existence of George Washington, they began to second-think their allegiance to their much less powerful leader, God. Curiously, Weems waited until Washington was dead before publishing his anecdotes.

As it turns out, if Washington was indeed incapable of lying, then Mason Weems was surely his exact nemesis, seeing as his recounting of Washington’s exploits were about as historically accurate as the 1999 Civil War documentary Wild Wild West.

Nevertheless, Weems’ pack of lies were taught as fact in American school textbooks for over a century, probably because they are much more enthralling than the true story of a man who, by more reliable accounts, was actually a bland, boring and uncharismatic everyman who just happened to be taller than average, and pretty good at warring. The story still resonates today, delivered to your children’s impressionable minds through such reliable media as Sesame Street.

Why does this bullshit story survive? Perhaps because the central message still resonates: “It’s much easier to tell the truth when you’re the one holding the ax.”

#1.

Benjamin Franklin, the Kite and the Thunderstorm

The story:
Another great American hero to whom many seem to attribute mutant superpowers is Ben Franklin, the scientist and statesman whose inventions included bifocal spectacles, the urinary catheter and freedom. He was particularly interested in electricity, and faced with intense skepticism from his colleagues about his theory that lightning is electricity, legend has it that he conducted an experiment to prove them wrong.

Franklin, with a knowing wink, went out into a raging thunderstorm and released a kite with a lightning rod affixed to the top and a metal key attached to the string. When the kite had annoyed the face of God to the point that he threw a bolt of lightning at it, the charge passed down the string and into the key, and when Franklin touched the key, it let off a spark of static, which somehow allowed him to discover electricity.

The truth:
It’s certainly true that Franklin at least proposed a kite experiment. Less certain, however, is whether or not he ever actually got around to performing it, and some sources suggest he did not. What is certain is that the experiment had nothing to do with lightning. If someone flew a kite into a storm, and it was struck by lightning, there’s a good chance that person would be utterly destroyed. In fact, everyone in the vicinity would at the least suffer from hairless-scalp syndrome.

Many people today who believe the amended story of Franklin’s kite experiment grew up immersed in the revisionist history of Walt Disney, whose classic cartoon Ben and Me portrayed Franklin not only as having flown the kite in a thunderstorm, but also having been a complete fucking jerk.

While few people still believe that all of Franklin’s innovations are actually attributable to his pet mouse, the kite story is still widely accepted despite the unfortunate testimonies of anyone who’s ever been stupid enough to replicate it.

The reality of Franklin’s experiment is that it simply involved flying a kite into some clouds to collect a few harmless ions, in order to prove that the atmosphere carries a charge. It is through Franklin’s discoveries that science was able to infer, later on, that lightning probably has something to do with electricity.

The idea that his kite was actually directly struck by a bolt of lightning is a rather dramatic exaggeration perpetuated by some school textbooks, which also helpfully serves to convince generations of children that getting hit by lightning is not only totally harmless, but scientific fun!

It also, like the Newton apple thing, takes one of history’s great geniuses and portrays them experiencing childlike wonder at some now-common idea, as if everyone who lived before the 20th century was a childlike simpleton.

Why can’t there be some other legend about him, one closer to his real personality? Like the time he pleasured six women at once. Sure, we made that up. But if you go out and repeat it enough, it’ll be in the textbooks by 2050. Let’s try it.

S Peter Davis runs the exceedingly adequate SPeterDavis.com. The illustrations in the article were by Nedroid of Nedroid.com fame.

Written by Neil Miller

This morning I sent a note out to the FSR Editorial team, letting them know that today was going to be an intentionally slow news day – not because there wasn’t any stories out there in the movie blogosphere, as there are plenty of headlines, but because you just can’t trust what you read on the internet today – it’s all a bunch of bologna.

So instead of pulling our own gag (and I did have a pretty solid one in my head, I just couldn’t pull it off), we have decided to put together a list of our favorite movie-related April Fool’s Jokes being thrown around the halls of the interwebs today. So thanks to all of our friends and neighbors, as you are making my job quite easy this afternoon.

10. Cloverfield Monster in Transformers 2 [Giant Freaking Robot]

This is one of those things that you glance at, start to move along, then glance back at again. Then, on your second glance, you realize that it is as obvious as the existence of the Sun that this one is fake. It is creative though, I will give them that.

9. Tyler Perry Movies on to Horror [Bloody-Disgusting]

Tyler Perry’s They Live… I would actually go an see that one.

8. Colin Farrell to star in a Once Remake [Moviehole]

One drunk Irishmen taints the work of a seemingly sober Irishmen by remaking his movie and singing his songs. The best part about this one is the alleged Colin Farrell quote: “In our version I’ll of course f&* the girl”.

7. Wolverine to Make an Appearance in The Incredible Hulk [ComicBookMovie]

I will admit, this one almost got me. If you take the fact that Marvel is crossing over between Hulk and Iron Man combined with the fact that Wolvie is currently in production, this one almost seems like it could work. On top of that, the guys at Comic Book Movie started this one yesterday, sliding it under the April Fool’s radar.

6. Art House Movie: There Will Be Farts [RopeOfSilicon]

Brad and his team at Rope of Silicon really went all out on this one. If you click the link to the official site for this film, one exists (although it is hosted on RoS). On the official site, you will find a pull-quote from Pete Hammond (whose outlet is His Desktop Computer) that says “I can’t wait… Milkshake jokes and pregnant teens are sure to make a hilarious spoof film!” Somewhere, a Weinstein Company Exec is scrambling to secure the rights to this one…

5. X-Files: Full Moon Rising [IESB]

Like something from a Creedence Clearwater Revival song, the title of the X-Files sequel came springing from the pages of IESB. Full Moon Rising? Really? They really should have stuck with “Curse of the Werepeople”.

4. Superman vs. Spider-Man Movie Announced [Slashfilm]

From our good friend Peter at Slashfilm comes a rumor about a Jake Gyllenhaal Spider-Man facing of with a CGI Christopher Reeve. Oh dear Pete, you had me going until the part about the CGI Christopher Reeve… That is good stuff.

3. Jake Gyllenhaal is Spider-Man [Joblo]

Joblo goes after a rumor that is plausible, to say the least. Rumors of a Jake Gyllenhaal takeover in the Spider-Man series have been circulating for some time now, but have never been confirmed. On any other day, the rest of us would be reporting this as well, but today is not any other day. The story really falls apart when they quote Gyllenhaal as saying that he would love to make out with his sister Maggie on-screen. Missed that part? You might want to take another look.

2. Christian Bale and Brandon Routh Sign on for Justice League [Cinematical]

To me, this one seemed like the most obvious April Fool’s joke possible – both Bale and Routh have publicly denied having anything to do with the “Justice League” movie, but fans are secretly holding out hope. But while it was obvious to me (and maybe you as well), this one did get one of my staff writers, hook line and sinker. I received an email from a writer on my staff (who will remain nameless) asking if I had seen this yet and whether or not I would like a write-up. Even more hilarious is that this is one of our best writers here at FSR… It gave me a good chuckle.

1. The Existence of a Justice League Movie [Warner Brothers Pictures]

You didn’t hear this from me – but the entire existence of George Miller’s Justice League Mortal is a sham. It has been a long running gag on all of the internet writers. You may not believe me right now, but bookmark this moment – did you really believe that someone named Armie Hammer was going to play Batman? Ha…

Honorable Mention goes to IGN for the Legend of Zelda Movie Trailer. Cheeky bastards!

So there you have it, a list of my favorite April Fool’s Day gags procured by our friends around the movie webosphere. There are more, in fact Alex at FirstShowing has created a pretty in-depth list, as has Peter at Slashfilm. Have you seen any other good ones out there? Feel free to drop them in the Sound Off section below.

Written by lifehacker

Since the dawn of time, geeks have been playing harmless pranks on their beloved (but unsuspecting) associates, and it’s up to all of us to carry the torch forward. On the eve of April Fools’ Day, when you’ve got local network access to your coworkers’ and family systems, cubicles just crying out to be filled with packing peanuts, and webapps that can do all sorts of things automatically, there’s no better time to baffle, confuse, perplex, and just plain mess with your loved ones and associates. Hit the jump for our top 10 favorite harmless geek pranks, just in time to get your prankster pistons firing for tomorrow.

10. Install the Blue Screen of Death Screensaver

Make your co-worker think their PC crashed when they get back from lunch. The BSOD (“Blue Screen of Death”) screensaver is a free download from Microsoft (ironically.) For other operating system “support,” check out the Linux BSOD ‘saver with support for Apple, Windows, and Linux crash screens.

9. Fake a Desktop with Screenshot Wallpaper

Freak out your co-worker or family member by faking out their Windows desktop with an unclickable facade: Take a screenshot of their current desktop, then set it as the desktop wallpaper. Hide the actual taskbar and disable desktop icons (right-click the desktop and choose “Arrange Icons By” and uncheck “Show Desktop Icons.”) When your victim returns to the computer, watch the futile clicking begin.

8. Schedule a Phone Call with a Text-to-Speech Message from Wakerupper.com

Wake up calls aren’t just for the a.m., you know. Pop your victim’s phone number, a time, and a custom message into Wakerupper.com, a free wakeup call service, and they’ll get a call with the message read Silicon Sally text-to-speech style back to them. (original post)

7. Fill an Office with Packing Peanuts (Or Make It Look That Way)

Actually filling your co-worker’s cubicle with packing peanuts can be a pain in the ass, but if there’s a glass wall involved, it’s easy to make it look like you did. Check out Hack N Mod’s nifty gallery of what looks like a glass room filled with packing material.

April Fools: Cubical Chaos Fakeout [Hack N Mod]

6. Remote Control Your Co-Workers’ Computer with VNC

How would it feel to have your mouse taken over by a ghost and do things on your computer you never intended while you watched? You can inflict this feeling of utter confusion on your victim using VNC, a computer remote control protocol. You’ll need to install the VNC server on your victim’s computer first, and have their IP address, so this one will work best in the office when you’re on the same network. Here’s how to remote control a computer with VNC. Mac users, here’s how to remote control Leopard with TightVNC.

5. Message Co-Workers with NET SEND

Hidden in the depths of the Windows command line is a nifty little utility called Net Send, which pops up very official-looking alert messages on any computer you send them to. If you know your co-workers’ IP address, you can net send them goofy messages, like this person on the Geeknewz boards:

A good prank that I have played on some friends involves the net send command. What I did was I used the net send command to send a message that said “Microsoft has detected that you have a small penis. Please consider upgrading for better performance” to other people on my local network. When you use the net send command in the command prompt, you specify the computer you want it sent to by typing the computer name, it also says on the message which computer it came from, so I changed my computer name to Microsoft, so it appeared, to the technically challenged, that the message actually came from Microsoft. In case you were interested, the syntax for the net send is:

net send computername message

Here’s more on how to use net send.

4. “Break” Your Victim’s LCD Screen with Wallpaper

Want to put a crack into that shiny new widescreen monitor? Download the broken LCD desktop wallpaper, set it as your victim’s desktop wallpaper and hide the taskbar and icons.

3. Hijack Firefox with the Total Confusion Pack Extension (Enabled on April 1st Only)

Your victim use Firefox? Install the “Total Confusion Pack” Firefox extension, which enables the following “features” on April 1st only:

• Two Steps Back: Make the back button go back twice-not every time, but only on random instances.
• Rick Rollr: Switch out 2% of the video clips your victim watches with the infamous Rick Astley video.
• The Devil’s Inbox: Make the number of unread email in your victim’s Gmail inbox exactly 666.
• Highs and Lows/Sarcarsm Enhancer/For real: Add LOL, *sigh*, “for real,” “Whatever” and various other commentary to web page text.
• Watch it: Make it look as if the page was loading forever. (Now this is just plain mean.)

Download the Firefox Total Confusion Pack here.

2. Customize the Office HP Printer’s Console Message

Baffle your coworkers with an “Insert Coin” message on the office printer using the HP Printer Job Language (HPPJL) command set. Here’s how to customize the printer’s Ready prompt to read whatever you want. (original post)

1. Turn Web Pages Upside Down

If your office or housemates all use the same Wi-Fi network and you’ve got some network admin skills, run the web traffic to their computers through custom scripts that turn images upside down, blur them, or redirect all web page requests to kittenwar.com. This is the most difficult trick in the list to implement, but it’s pretty clever. Here’s more on how to set up Upside-Down-Ternet. (original post)

For more good pranks, check out Wired’s Top 10 April Fools’ Pranks for Nerds, and Ask MetaFilter’s thread on the topic.

What’s your pick of favorite April Fool’s Day prank? Share the love in the comments.

Written by telegraph

Haven’t found what you’re looking for? Use our website guide to find the right information

TECHNOLOGY

1 Google

www.google.com

The powerhouse of the internet and the only place many people go for information. But if you thought Google was a still a mere search engine, look again. Click on ‘more’ at the top of the homepage to discover the work of ‘GoogleLabs’ – more than 50 free tools and web pages that could change your internet life.

GoogleDocs lets you create documents, spreadsheets and presentations, store them online, share them with others and access them from wherever there’s an internet connection.

Googlemail is probably the best email program – it has virtually limitless capacity and you don’t need to change your email address to use it. The Google calendar is a powerful searchable diary that you can allow others to access, so family members can make appointments together.

SketchUp could be just the tool you are looking for to design that conservatory extension and see what it will look like once the builders have gone. Add to that databases for searching academic journals and books in the public domain, the powerful GoogleMaps, with its engaging satellite imagery, a finance page with live stock quotes and an easy-to-use online messaging system, and you can see why some people say Google is taking over the world – and, with GoogleMoon and GoogleMars, the rest of the galaxy, too.

2 Anonymouse

www.anonymouse.org

Surf the web without disclosing who or where you are.

3 iLounge

www.ilounge.com

Hints, tips and troubleshooting for your iPod and associated software.

4 Only2Clicks

www.only2clicks.com

If you use just a few websites, this lets you create a home page that has links to them all. Simple, free and practical.

5 Zoho

www.zoho.com

A suite of free business programs. From word processing and presentation software to tools for taking notes in meetings, planning projects and creating databases.

6 Backpack

www.backpackit.com

To-do lists, notes, ideas and calendar. Excellent for juggling projects and much more versatile than a ring folder.

7 GetNetWise

www.getnetwise.org

All you need to know about keeping the net safe – protecting children, preventing spam, avoiding viruses and stopping others accessing your personal details.

8 DaFont

www.dafont.com

More than 7,500 free fonts (for Mac and PC), so you can at last stop using Copperplate for your party invitations.

9 Pando

www.pando.com

The superfast way to send large files over the web. Don’t attach that family video to an email, Pando it instead.

10 FlipClips

www.flipclips.com

Turn your home videos into animated flip books. Much more appealing than another DVD.

ENTERTAINMENT

11 Digital Spy

www.digitalspy.co.uk

Entertainment, media and showbiz news. Plus, a surprisingly good forum for technology-related problems – a great place to sort out your broadband.

12 BBC iPlayer

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer

On-demand television and radio programmes from the BBC.

13 Whatsonwhen

www.whatsonwhen.com

Events, attractions, openings and exhibitions from around the world. Enter a location and dates and the site will show listings.

Up in lights: a guide to London’s Theatreland is online

14 London Theatre Guide

www.londontheatre.co.uk

What’s coming on and what’s making an exit in London’s theatre world. Especially good for seating plans, so you can see where the box office staff are putting you.

15 The Internet Movie Database

www.imdb.com

The world’s biggest (and still growing) reference for actors, directors, locations, plots…

16 Rotten Tomatoes

www.rottentomatoes.com

A round-up of what the critics thought of films on general release.

17 Screenonline

www.screenonline.org.uk

The British Film Institute’s definitive guide to the British film industry. Plots, features, statistics and news from the film world.

18 Good Reads

www.goodreads.com

Expand your reading. Catalogue your books online and others make recommendations based on what you seem to enjoy.

19 TV Guide

www.tvguide.co.uk

News, features and listings for Britain’s terrestrial and cable television. Customisable interface so your favourite channels are always at the top.

20 Football365

www.football365.com

The authentic (and often tangential) voice of the Britain’s ‘real’ football supporters.

21 CricInfo

www.cricinfo.com

Everything you want to know about the world of cricket.

22 Beijing Olympics

en.beijing2008.cn

The official Olympics site, with news, scheduling, features and a countdown to the games themselves.

23 Radio Locator

www.radio-locator.com

From shock jocks to orchestral baroque, thousands of internet radio stations to listen to on your computer.

24 Live Plasma

www.liveplasma.com

Expand your music and movie tastes. Enter the name of a song, band, movie, actor or director you like and Live Plasma will return some pretty intelligent recommendations for further investigation.

25 Blinkx

www.blinkx.com

A clever way of searching for video clips on the internet – from uploaded episodes of your favourite soap to comedy home-video moments.

26 Lulu

www.lulu.com

Self-publishing made smart again. Write, design and then print your own books – though you’ll still have to persuade others to buy them.

27 VideoJug

www.videojug.com

28 Wonder How To

www.wonderhowto.com

Two great sites full of short videos showing you how to do almost anything, from the incredibly useful (exercises for diabetes sufferers, tying a Windsor knot) to the revelatory (‘learn different kinds of kisses’), via the wonderfully obscure (‘make a moving jaw for your werewolf mask’).

29 Instructables

www.instructables.com

DIY projects from zombie make-up to LED balloons. Excellent selection of rainy-day projects for bored children (and adults) at home.

30 Flash games

www.k2xl.com

Addictive series of Flash games including the hypnotically soothing Boomshine.

	Stuck on Zelda? The Net can help

31 GameSpot

www.gamespot.com

News, reviews, hints and tips for virtually every console game on the market. Essential if you are still up at 2am trying to find a way into the castle on Zelda.

32 Anagrammer

www.anagrammer.com

Online anagram machine for Scrabble players and crossword enthusiasts. Also solves Sudoku.

ADVICE AND INFORMATION

33 Newsmap

marumushi.com/apps/newsmap

A wonderfully graphical – and customisable – display of news stories from around the world. Click on an item to see the full story.

34 The Eggcorn Database

eggcorns.lascribe.net

Continually updated guide to modern-day Malapropisms, misunderstandings and other manglings of language. From ‘high dungeon’ to ‘wreckless driving’, Eggcorn names the culprits and nudges them in the right direction.

35 Arts and Letters Daily

www.aldaily.com

World-class articles from intellectual and influential journals around the world. Browse the day’s selections. Like The Week for eggheads.

36 Ask Philosophers

www.askphilosophers.org

The academy comes to cyberspace. A panel of mainly American and British philosophy scholars answers questions sent in by the public. Search the database, from Abortion to War, or send in a question of your own.

Muslims on a pilgrimage to Mecca, but when is the Hajj?

37 When Is

www.when-is.com

Shows you the dates of Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu and American holidays from now to 2010.

38 Rhyme Zone

www.rhymezone.com

For when the muse has gone, a rhyme and synonym generator to help you towards the perfect mot. You can also search for Shakespeare quotations, biblical references and other literary inspirations.

39 Nationmaster

www.nationmaster.com

Giant but easily searchable database of statistics, maps and profiles for every country in the world.

40 Digg

www.digg.com

The people’s approach to news and features, Digg brings together items from across the net, ranked according to how many people have felt them worth recommending. Sometimes a little techie-heavy, but excellent for discovering what the cyberworld is getting worked up about.

41 They Work For You

www.theyworkforyou.com

A powerful way of keeping tabs on MPs and peers: attendance records, voting patterns, recent statements and more.

42 Time Bank

www.timebank.org.uk

Volunteering opportunities for young people, sorted by region, interest, skills and need.

43 Wikipedia

www.wikipedia.org

Controversial, democractic and sometimes error-strewn encyclopaedia that has brought Darwinism to the world of knowledge. Make it your first port of call for looking something up. Just be sure to check somewhere else that what you find makes sense.

44 Wiktionary

www.wiktionary.org

Wikipedia’s online multilingual dictionary. Immensely powerful and far less controversial than its encyclopaedic forebear.

45 Motley Fool

www.fool.co.uk

The original – and still the best – personal finance site on the web (the American version is at www.fool.com). For savers, borrowers, stock spotters and day traders, sound, independent advice that cuts through the jargon.

46 Martindale’s ‘The Reference Desk’

www.martindalecenter.com

From the arts, business, science and technology, a dry but authoritative conglomeration of data from around the world.

47 PubMed

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/PubMed

Free and authoritative database of more than 17 million medical research papers. Not always easy to understand if you are not a medic, but a far better place to look for information than the random sites that come up on Google.

48 About.com

www.about.com

The internet’s version of that clever uncle who always seems to know the answer to your questions. There are few subjects the site doesn’t tackle, though the coverage can be superficial. A good starting point for idle research.

49 NHS Direct

www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk

Online information and advice about health and illness, run by Britain’s National Health Service. The site includes a useful self-diagnosis tool that can reassure you that your hangover is not in fact meningitis.

50 Legal Services Shop

www.freelawyer.co.uk

General legal advice relating to housing, family law, employment, motoring, consumer issues and personal injury, plus wills, conveyancing and divorce. Good starting point to see where you stand. Will also, for a fixed fee, answer questions and put you in touch with a solicitor.

51 How Stuff Works

www.howstuffworks.com

Engaging encyclopaedia of the modern (and not so modern) world, with good illustrations and clear text. Can suffer sometimes from an ‘it’s amazing!’ tone of voice..

52 XE

www.xe.com

Currency converter covering every world currency. Azerbaijan new manats to Cayman Island dollars? Just a click away.

53 Advice Guide

www.adviceguide.org.uk

Find where you stand legally with the Citizens Advice Bureau’s online information resource.

54 Need2Know

www.need2know.co.uk

	Need to know? Find out how to stay fit online

Advice and information for young people, including health and fitness, drugs, problems with bullying, how to study and applying for jobs.

55 Royal Horticultural Society

www.rhs.org.uk

Advice and suggestions from the world’s leading gardening organisation. A good ‘how-to’ section and seasonal tips for the time of year.

56 Babelfish

babelfish.altavista.com

Automatic translation to and from most European languages and Chinese. The results are sometimes a little strange, but you will usually get your message across.

57 eHow

www.ehow.com

How to do just about everything, from getting stains off curtains to buying a second-hand car.

58 Eat the Seasons

www.eattheseasons.co.uk

Updated weekly, information, tips and recipe ideas on British seasonal food.

59 Age Concern

www.ageconcern.org.uk

Website of Britain’s leading charity for the elderly, packed with advice about maintaining an active life.

60 Weather.com

www.weather.com

The queen of weather sites, with more information than you would possibly imagine you might need, from pollen counts to surf forecasts.

61 Uncyclopedia

uncyclopedia.org

Spoof Wikipedia-style encyclopaedia where nothing is true, but a good deal is very funny indeed. Idle away an afternoon or, even better, hone your comedy skills by making a contribution yourself.

62 Kiva

www.kiva.org

An easy way to lend small sums (from $25) to business projects in the developing world. Kiva keeps track of your investment, updates you on progress and repays your loan as the business grows.

63 Embarrassing problems

www.embarrassingproblems.co.uk

From bad breath and piles to cold sores and beyond, Dr Margaret Stearn dispenses invaluable advice.

HOUSE AND HOME

64 Noise Mapping England

www.noisemapping.org

Click on an area of the map to find out how noisy a street, or even a section of the street, is – handy for light sleepers planning a move. At the moment only London is mapped, but the rest of England will follow.

Banner ads: find out how much properties on your street have sold for

65 Prime Location

www.primelocation.com

One of the best sites for finding property. It is UK-based but has a good international presence.

66 Rated People

www.ratedpeople.com

User reviews on local tradesmen. You describe the job you need done and how quickly and suppliers contact you with quotes – with previous customers rating them.

67 Zoopla

www.zoopla.co.uk

Possibly the most dangerous site on this list, Zoopla gives sale prices of recently sold homes and – the tricky bit – estimates the value of the rest. We dare you not to look.

68 Money Saving Expert

www.moneysavingexpert.com

Subtitled ‘Consumer Revenge’, this is where you find the discounts, tricks and tips to save money. The weekly email is essential reading for canny consumers. It caters only for Britain, but every country should have one.

69 MetaEfficient

www.metaefficient.com

Practical guide to making your home more environmentally friendly, from low-flow showerheads to 12V lighting. US-based, but many of the products are available elsewhere.

70 Design My Room

www.DesignMyRoom.com

For budding Laurence Llewellyn-Bowens everywhere, it provides the ability to redecorate your home in cyberspace. Choose colours, furniture, accessories and finishes and then publish the results online.

71 Up My Street

www.upmystreet.com

Neighbourhood information based on postcode: schools, shopping and, juciest of all, how much the house down the road sold for recently.

72 Home For Exchange

www.homeforexchange.com

One of many sites where you can swap homes with someone else for a period. This is less cluttered than some of the others and has a good geographical spread.

73 SimplySwitch

www.simplyswitch.com

The fast way to compare utility suppliers and other services, from broadband to home insurance. Enter your postcode and the site comes back with the best deals.

74 101 Cookbooks

www.101cookbooks.com

Enchanting recipe and foodie blog from a Californian cook who believes in good food. Subscribe to the email alert service and transform your cooking repertoire.

SOCIAL

75 Facebook

www.facebook.com

The most grown-up (just) of the social-networking sites that are fast taking over the world. Excellent for staying in touch with far-flung friends, though pretty good too for re-establishing contact with those you hoped you had lost.

	Good old days: who needs the pub when you can socialise online?

76 WordPress

www.wordpress.com

The quickest and easiest way to create a blog of your own.

77 Ringsurf

www.ringsurf.com

Like an online Mothers’ Union meeting (though sometimes a little more risqué), Ringsurf is a chatroom where people exchange ideas about anything from politics to relationships. The quality is not always high, but users have been known to discover new (real-life) friends with interests they thought no one would share. A tribute to the information-sharing capability of the net.

78 bubbl.us

www.bubbl.us

Organise your thoughts by creating mindmaps online and sharing them with others.

79 Technorati

www.technorati.com

An intelligent, intuitive and inspiring way to read entries from some of the millions of blogs that dot the internet. You can browse by subject or area of interest, read the postings that are catching the world’s attention and bookmark blogs that catch your attention. And if you want to join in…

80 Flickr

www.flickr.com

The website you graduate to once you’ve discovered how to put your holiday snaps on the net. Here, everyone’s photos are linked by using tags, such as ‘Spain’, ‘beach’ or ‘happy’, which sets you off on an exploration of others’ uploads.

81 BabyCentre

www.babycentre.co.uk

There are plenty of great parenting forums out there – Netmums, Mumsnet – but this is still the best source of considered, authoritative, often soothing advice on everything from colic to tax credits.

82 Friction TV

www.friction.tv

YouTube for debaters. Upload a short video about an issue close to your heart and others reply in kind or by text.

SHOPPING

83 GiftGen

www.giftgen.co.uk

Gift ideas for when you can’t think what to buy someone. You enter their age, sex and interests and how much you want to pay and it scours the net for ideas.

84 eBay

www.ebay.co.uk

Shopping on the high street, but better deals may be online

Online shopping for (nearly) everything you might want to buy. The original auction formula is still going strong, but plenty more features have been added since it began. Take a look at non-UK sites, such as ebay.fr and ebay.de, too, for bargains others may have missed. The layout is the same even if you don’t speak the language.

85 Who What Wear Daily

www.whowhatweardaily.com

Fashion tips, advice and suggestions. Includes Ask a Stylist for those tricky co-ordination problems and a What Was She Wearing? inquiry service to help you track down your favourite celebrity’s fashion choice.

86 Gumtree

www.gumtree.com

Unabashedly straightforward classified ads site, for everything from new homes to online romance.

87 AbeBooks

www.abebooks.co.uk

The Amazon of the second-hand book world. More than 13,500 booksellers selling 110 million books. If it’s not here, it’s not worth looking for.

88 Kelkoo

www.kelkoo.co.uk

There are plenty of price-comparison sites on the web, but this one seems to get it right more often than most. Type in what you want to buy and Kelkoo will come back with the cheapest prices it can find.

89 Endgadget

www.engadget.com

A (digital) finger on the pulse of the technology world. All the newest developments, discoveries, gadgets and toys – before they hit the shops.

90 Cork’d

www.corkd.com

Discover more about wine by reviewing what you’ve enjoyed and receiving tips and suggestions from others.

91 I Love Jeans

www.ilovejeans.com

Find the right jeans for your fit before you even leave home. A cheeky but revealing ‘body type’ guide takes you straight to the brand you should be trying. Search by style, body type or brand. Women only.

TRAVEL

92 Sky Scanner

www.skyscanner.net

	Take flight: book your getaway from your own PC

Monitors prices and destinations for all the low-cost airlines so you just type in where you want to go and when to find the best deal.

93 The Man in Seat 61

www.seat61.com

Routes, tickets, tips and advice – the only guide you need to travelling by train from Britain to Europe and the rest of the world.

94 Walk It

www.walkit.com

Online pedestrian routefinder for London, Birmingham, Newcastle and Edinburgh that shows you the best route to walk from A to B. Includes calorie counter, CO2 savings and points of interest on the way. Other cities coming soon.

95 Transport for London Journey Planner

journeyplanner.tfl.gov.uk

Indispensable and almost always spot-on guide to negotiating the capital’s public transport system. You enter your starting point and destination and it gives you the best bus, tube, cycle and even boat routes to get you across town.

96 ViaMichelin

www.viamichelin.com

A hi-tech hark-back to the days of leisurely motoring. ViaMichelin gives you maps, routes and directions throughout Britain and continental Europe with added panache. The maps have a pleasant printed quality about them and, naturally enough, your route is accompanied by gastronomic highlights to be found along the way. There’s also information about destinations.

97 Carbon Neutral

www.carbonneutral.com

Information on your carbon footprint and how to cut it down. Includes an online calculator to measure your effect on the world.

98 Expedia

www.expedia.com

Excellent all-round travel site. Use it for good prices on flights and holidays, but click on ‘Destinations’ for some well-researched and up-to-date travel guides.

99 SeatGuru

www.seatguru.com

Aircraft seating plans, showing you the prime seats, possible annoyances and seats you should avoid.

100 Airline Meals

www.airlinemeals.net

A consumer guide to what you can expect to eat on board. There are news and features from the airline catering world, but the best part is a gallery of photos of on-board meals sent in by passengers and listed by airline.

101 World Hum

www.worldhum.com

Travel writing with a twist. Click on the destination you have in mind and be prepared to be inspired. The site also offers tavelogues, news, books reviews, blogs and slideshows.

Lost is an awesome show. But every now & then I wonder just what the writers were thinking…

10. Nikki & Paulo

Yes, they were by far the two most annoying characters in television history. I’m glad to see them gone. But, with Patchy resurrecting all the time, Locke cured of paralysis, Rose cured of cancer, and Christian Shepherd sitting around in Jacob’s cabin… Might we see Nikki and Paulo again too? Say it isn’t so! I for one am hoping the immortality theory is not true.

9. Libby’s Death

Guess I’ll never know why she was stalking Hurley at the mental institution. Great way too create a really compelling mystery and then destroy it.

8. Eko’s “Smoky” Encounter

This left something to be desired. Sure, the morphing of Eko’s brother into Smoky was really cool and helped us realize many of the Losties’ hallucinations were actually Smoky appearances. But the next scenes where Smoky was tossing Eko around like a ragdoll were unfulfilling, to say the least. Sometimes Smoky looks and acts way too much like the water creature on “The Abyss” to be taken seriously.

7. Hurley’s Diet

Hurley wouldn’t be the same – or as much fun – if he were skinny. But Hurley really should be losing some weight on the island. He was sneaking Dharma food for awhile, but isn’t that long over?

6. Fake Smoky Appearance

Big goof. Lost viewers everywhere discovered that in the pilot episode, a “smoke monster” was seen hitting the airplane turbine shortly before it exploded. Much speculation ensued about this find. Sadly, the producers later confirmed it was a CGI effect left in the show in error. You can see it here:

5. Charlie: Death by Stupid

Charlie’s death was sad. But the saddest part was that it didn’t have to happen. He could have run to the other side of the door and shut it. There was plenty of time.

4. The Lost Experience

OK, a lot of people will disagree with me on this. Sure, The Lost Experience kept us entertained one summer. But the revelations ended up being very out of place. The solution it offered to Hurley’s numbers was unsatisfying and has never been mentioned on the actual show. Does anyone still believe that was really the answer?

3. Locke’s Bizarre Trust of Ben

Seriously Locke, grow a brain!

Ben shot him and left him for dead in a mass grave. Ben admitted to gassing all those Dharma people and thus committing mass murder. He’s insane. Yet Locke continues to release him and actually believe him. Utter stupidity. Why does Locke insist on trusting liars?

2. Lack of Curiosity Killed the Cat

How many times have we yelled at our TV screens because Locke didn’t follow up on a mystery when he was with an “other” or Jack seemed to care more about Kate and Sawyer than the smoke monster that was killing people? There were plenty of times the Losties didn’t share vital information with one another or “forgot” to ask Danielle or an Other about a question that was bugging all of us.

Sure, Locke finally asked Ben what the smoke monster was. And Ben said he had no idea. But really Locke, of all the people you could ask, you choose Ben?

1. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllttttttttttttttttttttttt!

Ah yes, it was the fodder of forum humor everywhere: Michael and his ever-present Waaaaallllltttt scream.

Waaaaaalllllltttttt! haunted us in our dreams. Sadly, we saw it again before “Meet Kevin Johnson.” Think the love of Waaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllttttttttt is over? Just run a Google search on Waaaaaaaaaaaaaalt!! and you’ll see we’re all still talking about it:

Notice the third entry in the picture above. Apparently Waaaaaaaaaalt!!!! translates into any language. No wonder Walt doesn’t want to see Michael anymore.

Written by sixrevisions

If you’re a freelancer or a full-timer looking for additional income, there’s a variety of places you can go to seek for project-based work.

There’s a ton of websites geared specifically for freelance workers, such as All Freelance Directory and Guru.com. Many of these sites do, however, charge you a subscription fee to access their job listings.

Typically, a lot of work comes from referrals, advertising in your local area, or through your website.

But if projects are running thin or you’re seeking to expand your project search, check out these 5 places you might not have considered before.

1) Google Advanced Search

There’s a ton of sites you can visit to find project-based work, but it’s not efficient to go to each of these places and wade through outdated job listings.

If you want a speedier way, try out Google Advanced Search. You can customize how your search terms are used, extend the number of results per page, and limit the publish dates.

Here’s a few examples you can try (limited to “this week” dates):

• “looking for web designer“
• “freelance programmer job“
• “freelance web developer required“
• “seeking rails developer“
• “craigslist web design needed“
• “craigslist web freelance needed“

2) eBay

So you’re really desperate, right? No one’s going to your website or responding to your local paper ads. No better way to get people to buy your stuff than on eBay.

If sellers can find people willing to buy a Wizards & Dragons musical snow globe (it’s nice, I’m going to get one), there’s a good possibility that you can get some jobs from there.

Here’s some categories you may want to list in:

• Web & Computer Services
• Graphic & Logo Design
• Media Editing & Duplication

3) Job Boards of Popular Blogs

There’s a recent trend where top blogs are beginning to include a job listing section where readers can post and find jobs. It gives their audience – who probably have the same interests – a chance to meet and collaborate with other like-minded individuals.

Here’s a few job listing sections of some popular weblogs.

• FreelanceSwitch Job listings
• Smashing Jobs
• Read/WriteWeb Jobs
• 43 Folders Jobs

To help you find other blogs, here’s Technorati’s Top 100 blogs.

4) Classified Listings

Yes, craigslist isn’t only for finding dirt-cheap furniture and late night hook-up’s (or searching for your soul mate); you can also find web projects listed in your local area, as well as other geographical locations. Since it’s web work, many seekers don’t mind if you work remotely.

Aside from craigslist, check out these other online classifieds:

• edgeio
• facebook Marketplace
• realpeoplerealstuff.com
• Yahoo! Classifieds

5) Websites That Need Work

If you’re a web worker, chances are, you encounter lots of websites everyday.

Almost instinctively, whenever I see a website that I think needs a bit of work, I automatically check out the page source and reach for some Firefox Web Developer extension options like “Display Div Order“, “View CSS” and “View JavaScript“, looking for traces of Frontpage mark-up, or silly JavaScript code that can be harmful to a website’s security.

If you find a website that you think will benefit from a re-design, or if you find flaws that need immediate attention, shoot the administrator a polite email about the issues you find, and include your proposed fixes.

Contact them in a professional way, and they may hire you to remedy the issue. At the very least, you can feel good about not letting a poorly-developed site go on without doing something about it.

And yes, I am aware of the lack of padding on the left side of Six Revisions which affects people with smaller screen resolutions… and I’m doing something about it real soon. So, please, do exclude it from your list of “websites that need work”, thank you much! 🙂

Source: naurunappula

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