Collected from AskReddit

Monster cables are the only cables to give you a “true HD” experience.

Fact: More glasses get broken in the presence of alcohol.

Greenpeace activist telling me that nuclear power causes both global warming and the ozone hole over the Arctic and Antarctic.
I could not even start arguing, she was so clueless.

I was told by the guy at the liquor store that I should not buy wine because it will not get anyone drunk. “The alcohol in there is so low you would need to drink ten bottles.” He then suggested PBR.

person trying to sell me a water filter and talking about how bad our water is under the ground.
Bitch I’m a geologist.
The chicot aquifer if amazing.

AT&T sales lady just told me I had to use their router so my internet would work with the “special underground wires” that they use ?_?

Bestbuy employee trying to get me to pay an additional $90 dollars to let the “tech experts” there optimize the laptop I wanted to purchase. Apparently my computer would run up to 100x faster and I wasn’t qualified to do this myself. A quick Google search on my smartphone revealed it was a scam where they would just delete some of the programs that come with the laptop and do the initial turn on.

I went with my younger sister to buy her first laptop for school, about a year ago when tablets were becoming a huge thing. I explained to the Best Buy salesman that we were here to buy a laptop or perhaps a netbook, and he kept saying that “laptops are basically obsolete now, everyone is switching to tablets.” I told him that we wanted a simple computer for her to type essays etc. on and that a touchscreen keyboard wouldn’t be ideal for that anyway. He seemed extremely reluctant to sell us a computer and kept stressing that “nobody uses laptops anymore.”
I couldn’t believe it.

Gold-plated optical cables give a better connection.
Optical cables. With gold plating.
They really do exist.
EDIT: 3000 people voted on this, not a single one pointed out I couldn’t spell “cables”. I don’t know whether to be happy or disappointed.

I was once told by a woman at the local farmer’s market that only organic food has any nutrients and everything else is just empty, because that’s what genetic farming does, it strips all the nutrients from food.
Edit: Wow, I guess I’m still new to Reddit. Didn’t expect so many people here to be so… fierce for their love of organic food. So just so I fully offend everyone and make sure no one is left out, here are a few words.
ahem
If you want to support a program like Organic Farming, with absolutely no scientific backing and led forward on the premise that you can’t prove it wrong, you should go support creationism in school.
What does your Girlfriend and Organic Farming have in common? They both offer you more body, but just end up taking more of your money.
What’s the difference between an Organic Meal and a Genetically Grown Meal? About $3000 dollars a year.
If I wanted to spend more money to get an inferior project, I would go buy a game with Ubisoft’s DRM.
And last but not least,
What’s the difference between buying dinner for an Organic Lobbyist and going to dinner with your mom? When I buy the Organic Dinner I get fucked in the ass, when I buy your mom dinner, I get to fuck her in the ass.
I hope that covers everyone,
Love lots, Genetic Farming
Edit 2 Sorry, was thinking about this after some dinner. I’m sure I came off as fierce on this subject. So to be serious a moment (sorry if it ruins the mood, Don’t read if you’d rather be amused!), there is a reason. For those who wish to know: I have a close friend, a single mom who is a really sweet, determined woman who wants the best for her kids. She is a redditor too I think, so if you see this, you know who you are. She is dirt poor, trying to keep her family afloat, and about a year ago she changed all her food to Organic. Even though it cost her to cut out a lot of her children’s, and her own entertainment. When I found out, I asked her why. And she said she kept hearing in the news and on TV how Organic for is healthier for her family. How Organic food is better for the growth of her children. It took me months to convince her this was utterly false, and she should be putting her money towards better things for her kids.
Any business practice that relies on exploiting the love and worry of a mother for her children to pull more money that she doesn’t have out of her pockets can burn in Hell for all I care.
So if you ever want to explain to someone why the Organic Movement harms people, feel free to share this view.

That megabytes are the same as megabits. ?_?

A salesperson from a home security company told me the motion sensors will not detect cats because it can sense their brain waves. Didn’t go with that company.

I was told that the used Ford Escort I was looking at was a real panty dropper.

My brother (an idiot) was told that a special cleaning spray would make CD’s and DVD’s play better.
My brother now claims it makes his video games load faster and improves the movie quality beyond BluRay.
I tried explaining why he was a dolt, but it just made him defensive.

I was buying a set of 4.1 computer speakers at a major chain and the salesman told me I should get the product service plan because “if one speaker is disconnected, then the current that was going through it is directed to the other speakers and that could overload and damage them”.

“You need to get a screen protector because the oils and heat from your fingers will wear down the touch screen on your new Android phone.”
That day I learned that my fingers will destroy gorilla glass.

There are scummy electronics/gadgets shops on Tenerife – don’t buy anything from them.
I was looking at a display of binoculars and the sign said they had nightvision ones for sale. I asked the salesman which ones had night vision
“all of them”.
These were regular binoculars. I asked where would the batteries go in them – he said they had a coating on them to see infra-red. I looked through them and they were regular optical binoculars. I called him on this, and he says
“Did I say infra-red? I meant infra-green”.
Infra-fricken-green!

Bonus: Drop Test!!!