Written Michael Lopez

According to Christian radio host/old-timey nutjob Harold Camping, the Rapture will occur this Saturday, May 21. On Saturday, all of Camping’s followers — an estimated 200 million — will be taken into heaven as God’s chosen people after earth is ravaged by a massive earthquake, set to strike at 6 pm. No word on which time zone that will be. The end of the world as we know it, then, will take place five months later on October 21. Oddly enough, I feel fine about all this nonsense.

However, for those worried about the fate of humanity, I have prepared a list of the ten best last songs on an album. These final tracks are the last glimpse we have of a certain album — that last gasp of air before the silence comes and we have to either play the album over again or move on with our lives. Since the end is nigh, we might as well celebrate those songs that act as small reminders that our lives are, in fact, finite.

“The Repudiated Immortals” — Of Montreal, from 2005’s The Sunlandic Twins

This is probably my favorite last song on the list. Many Of Montreal fans get bogged down by Hissing Fauna and False Priest, yet I believe The Sunlandic Twins is Kevin Barnes’ best work. To put such a peppy, upbeat song like “The Repudiated Immortals” as the last song on the album is a brilliant move — it’s perhaps the best song on the album.

“A Distorted Reality is Now a Necessity to be Free” — Elliott Smith, from 2004’s From a Basement on the Hill

This is, for all intents and purposes, the final song on the final album from Elliott Smith — an album, might I remind you, that was posthumously released after Smith’s death from an apparent self-inflicted knife wound in October of 2003. It’s a stripped-down, sombre offering from Smith, a fitting end to one of the greatest singer/songwriters of our time.

“Chonkyfire” — Outkast, from 1998’s Aquemini

Many a hip-hop album is ended with the standard “outro” or some asinine skit. Outkast, back before they got into polaroid pictures and roses, released perhaps their best album,Aquemini, in September of 1998. The album concluded with the perplexingly enjoyable “Chonkyfire,” proving that hip-hop albums can, indeed, end with an actual song — perhaps even a good one.

“Knights of Cydonia” — Muse, from 2006’s Black Holes and Revelations

The last track from the British rock trio’s landmark album can be seen as the real last gasp from the band, especially considering what their follow-up to Black Holes, The Resistance, turned out to be. Black Holes was overblown, grandiose and just fucking good. Sigh, things were so innocent back in 2006.

“Would?” — Alice in Chains, from 1992’s Dirt

Some might already disagree with the songs on this list — which may or may not matter since The Rapture is set for this Saturday at 6 p.m. “How could he start the list with such a weird of Montreal song?,” some might think. You know what? So I made a big mistake — try to see it once my way.

“Take the Veil Cerpin Taxt” — The Mars Volta, from 2003’s Deloused in the Comatorium

I have no problem admitting that I was a huge fan of At The Drive-In. Lead singer Cedric Bixler-Zavala and lead guitarist Omar Rodríguez-López were always my favorite members of the seminal El Paso indie/punk band. Once the band split in 2001, The Mars Volta, of which Bixler-Zavala and Rodríguez-López were both members, quickly helped ease my pains. Deloused is still a favorite album of mine, and its final song, “Take the Veil Cerpin Taxt,” concludes the concept album with the eventual death of its main character, Cerpin Taxt, by an overdose of morphine and rat poison.

“Street Spirit (Fade Out)” — Radiohead, from 1995’s The Bends

One of Radiohead’s more celebrated songs — whether you are an original, Pablo Honey-era fan or a post-Kid A sympathizer — “Street Spirit” is arguably the best last song the band ever wrote. “Motion Picture Soundtrack” (the last track on Kid A) might be favored by some, but I’m more inclined to give The Bends some love. Besides, how many of those diehard Radiohead fans actually still listen to Pablo Honey these days?

“Train in Vain” — The Clash, from 1979’s London Calling

Fun fact about the final track on The Clash’s 1979 masterpiece — it was added to the album at the last minute, ending up in the song being left off the album sleeve. Good thing they decided to add the song — it ended up becoming the third and final single from London Calling, a rather fitting title for the album’s final track.

“Bold as Love” — Jimi Hendrix Experience, from 1967’s Axis: Bold as Love

The name of the song is in the album’s title — it has to be the best song on the album, right? You’re damn right. It was a toss-up between this song and “Voodoo Child (Slight Return)” from 1968’s Electric Ladyland. There’s something ephemeral about “Bold as Love,” a quality that transforms the song into one of the best songs to ever close out an album. Hendrix didn’t have to melt your face to show that he was the best guitar player that ever lived, he could do so in a mellow, somewhat toned down fashion. “Bold as Love” proves this point perfectly.

“Raining Blood” — Slayer, from 1986’s Reign in Blood

Slayer.

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