Monthly Archives: February 2011

this guy totally seems legit


Date: 2011-02-07, 3:58PM EST

Reply to: [email protected]

My name is Travis Broyles and I will do whatever* you want me to do for less money than whoever you are paying to do it now.

Below is a list of just some of the things I can do. I do want to stress that I DO ANYTHING so email me if your requested service is not listed here.

Things I Will Do For $5:

Stare at you for 5 minutes

Give a hug to the person of your choosing

Call you on the phone and seem genuinely interested for 10 minutes

Draw your face on a balloon

Sing Barenaked Ladies’ “One Week” from memory to the best of my ability

6 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $10:

Write your new theme song

Perform your new theme song on your voicemail

Spin until I throw up or you lose interest

Rename your Pokémon

Host a conference call with you and a person that you’ve always thought was cool but never really got the chance to hang out with, you know?

12 minutes of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $50:

Break-up with your boyfriend or girlfriend

Help you quit smoking (I’ll call you every day for a month and yell “HEY DON’T SMOKE”)

Tell the person you like that you think they’re cute and what if you had sex together?

Try my best to fly in a public place for an hour

Make you a really great profile picture

1 hour of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100:

Tell your kids which one is actually your favorite, and what the others could do to improve their standings

Fight someone much smaller or girl than me

Email you a list of 250 things I like about you (need access to any and all social network accounts)

Clean most of your house and apologize for the things I didn’t

Deliver 5 fully cooked DiGiorno pizzas right to your door (5 mile radius from my home)

2 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $1,000:

Host an event (will not host anything racially insensitive, i.e. human being auction)

Give a PowerPoint presentation on team building to your business and/or extended family

Rename your children

Build you a cardboard car and make vroom-vroom sounds while you drive it

Star treatment for a month (I’ll hide in bushes and take pictures of you)

20 hours of copywriting

Things I Will Do For $100,000:

Yell your name every time I wake up for the rest of my life

Change my political and spiritual leanings

Screen all your phone calls for five years

Recreate the best day of your life (or worst, whatevs)

84 straight days of copywriting *BEST VALUE*

If interested, email me at [email protected].

*Prices and tasks are subject to negotiation. I will not murder or steal or perform a legendary murdersteal. No rapes, and the sex has to be unrelated to the payment, like “Oh, after you’re done cutting those trees down, do you want some lemonade?” but the lemonade means sex, mostly.

  • Location: 30307
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2202170274


Growing up, my big brother and I were best friends. After growing apart, he left this for me when he went away to college.

For the squinters:
“A year or so ago, you were at some party or something, and were getting a ride home with someone else. I guess it might have been longer cause you didn’t have a cell phone. The time were supposed to be back came and went and you didn’t show up. Mama & Daddy started to get a little worried. I was taking a shower and starting worrying too. What if you didn’t come back? It was you I was worried about, but it was my life that flashed before my eyes. We were sitting in front of the TV playing Aladdin, and I was trying to keep you from chucking the controller at the wall. We were scripting intense dramas with legos and playmobile people. Mickey and his hang of beanie baby misfits were playing soccer and dancing the night away to the Space Jam soundtrack. We were being sent to our rooms for getting in trouble each sitting in our own doorway, plotting against the “enemy”! Even as I write this it is hard to keep the tears that poured out in the shower that night for splattering all over this card. Don’t ever think for a second that I am not so grateful to have such a great sister. I love you Elizabeth.

12 Things You Must Know About the Verizon iPhone

Written by  Lance Ulanoff

The arrival of the Verizon Apple iPhone 4 has been cause for some celebration among Verizon customers and even some who are already using the phone on AT&T. In fact, virtually every smartphone customer is likely wondering if they should adopt one of the leading smartphones on the U.S.’s most reliable mobile network. These 12 facts may help you decide.

1) The Verizon iPhone is No Thicker or Heavier than the AT&T Model

Apple told me and my examination proves that these phones are like twins (more identical than fraternal). Both iPhones are 9.3 millimeters thick—still among the thinnest smartphones on the market.

2) The Antenna Design is Different for a Reason

It’s no accident that the AT&T iPhone 4 and Verizon iPhone 4 antenna bands (around the phones) do not look exactly the same. The differences are hard to notice unless you hold the two phones side-by-side—as I did. The Verizon iPhone uses a CDMA network antenna. In fact, it uses two CDMA antennas (a necessary redundancy for the CDMA network). As a result, there are identical antenna band bar breaks on either side of the phone. By the way, Apple told me that, unlike GSM, the CDMA network actually works to give you a few more seconds of connectivity before the call breaks off completely. In other words, even on the worst connections, you may still be able to recover the call. I never had a bad enough connection to see this in action.>

3) Death Grip is Hard to Find

No matter how hard I gripped the Verizon iPhone—or in what configuration, I could not recreate the old AT&T iPhone 4 Death Grip—that is unless the connectivity was already weak. So on the very rare occasions that I dropped down to two bars (which means I was in 2G land), I could cover all the antenna gaps and get the bars to drop down even further. Still I never cut off the signal.

4) It has a Personal Hot Spot

There aren’t a lot of differences between the AT&T iPhone and the Verizon model, but this is a biggie. You can turn the phone into a Wi-Fi hub for up to five devices. In my tests, the connection was strong and held on for at least 25 feet (One of my tests involved leaving the iPhone on a Windowsill and connecting through my Blackberry Torch from a room upstairs and on the other side of my home). Data throughput performance on the iPhone itself does diminish a bit when it’s sharing.

5) Data Will Cost You

As much as I love the personal hot spot—and I really do love it—it will cost an additional $20 a month with, for now, unlimited data for an additional $30 a month. That’s pretty pricey when you consider you’ll also be paying a monthly service plan fee. However, if you consider what you’d pay for a separate EVDO modem and the monthly data costs, you might actually come out ahead.

6) You Can’t Do Voice and Data at the Same Time

This is probably the single biggest limitation of the Verizon iPhone and could turn into its most popular complaint. You can make a call and you can get your data connection, but do not try and do it at the same time. For most people, this will not be a problem (how often are you calling and browsing the Web at the same time?). In fact, if you receive a call while using the Personal Hotspot on a 3G connection, the Verizon phone will prioritize the call. Interestingly, on a 2G connection, the call will go straight to voicemail.

7) AT&T and Verizon offer Virtually the Same Voice Plans

If you’re trying to decide between a Verizon iPhone 4 and the AT&T model, don’t base the decision on the calling plans. Both have $69.99 unlimited calling rates and, at the lower end, offer 450 minutes a month for $39.99.

8) No SIM card

Another physical difference between the AT&T phone and the Verizon iPhone is that the latter lacks a SIM card slot. CDMA phones don’t use SIM cards, instead relying on a cloud-based set of serial numbers to authenticate network phones. So you won’t be transferring this Verizon iPhone to another CDMA network unless that network—perhaps Sprint—decides to start authenticating Verizon’s CDMA iPhones. (PCMag’s mobile expert Sascha Segan told me the customer support headaches that would attend this decision make this possibility highly unlikely) Since we expect most people to be very happy with Verizon, this doesn’t seem like a big deal. Sprint customers, of course, may disagree.

9) General Availability Comes on Feb 10th

By now you’ve probably heard that Verizon sold out of the pre-order inventory of Verizon iPhones. Apple did tell me that the phone would only be available in “limited quantities” to existing Verizon customers. It’s unclear what supplies will be like on the 10th. Also unknown is when, exactly, Verizon will start shipping those phones.

10) Verizon and AT&T 3G Are Both Fast

There’s no question that AT&T’s 3G network, once America’s fastest mobile network, is faster than Verizon’s 3G, but, as I can attest, it’s only faster when you can get it. Verizon is fast, too, and I doubt most people will notice the difference even when both networks are operating for you at peak speeds. I certainly didn’t. What it comes down to is coverage. I had better coverage overall with the Verizon iPhone, which means that even if there were moments when my mobile data network wasn’t as fast as the best I could get from AT&T, I knew that at least I could get connected from virtually any location. This was never the case with the AT&T iPhone.

11) Your Old Bumper Won’t Work

If you bought a bumper for your AT&T iPhone, you may want to throw it out or leave it on the AT&T model when you pass it along to your nephew. Apple moved the volume buttons a few millimeters and the hold button a bit more. The new Universal Bumper will work on your new Verizon iPhone and the old AT&T model, as well.

12) Don’t Wait for iPhone 5

While there’s no guarantee Apple will introduce this now much-talked about vapor-phone, it’s a safe bet it’ll arrive this summer. That said, when it does arrive, it will be in short supply. There is also no guarantee that the iPhone 5 will launch on multiple carriers—most smartphones do not. What if Apple starts with AT&T again? Won’t you feel silly for waiting?

Bonus:Naturally, the common people don’t want war…

5 Things You Should Never Say While Negotiating

Written by Mike Hofman

Every entrepreneur spends some time haggling, whether it is with customers, suppliers, investors, or would-be employees. Most business owners are street smart, and seem to naturally perform well in negotiations. You probably have a trick or two—some magic phrases to say, perhaps—that can help you gain the upperhand. But, often, the moment you get into trouble in a negotiation is when something careless just slips out. If you are new to negotiation, or feel it is an area where you can improve, check out these tips on precisely whatnot to say.

1. The word “between.” It often feels reasonable—and therefore like progress—to throw out a range. With a customer, that may mean saying “I can do this for between $10,000 and $15,000.” With a potential hire, you could be tempted to say, “You can start between April 1 and April 15.” But that word between tends to be tantamount to a concession, and any shrewd negotiator with whom you deal will swiftly zero-in on the cheaper price or the later deadline. In other words, you will find that by saying the word between you will automatically have conceded ground without extracting anything in return.

2. “I think we’re close.” We’ve all experienced deal fatigue: The moment when you want so badly to complete a deal that you signal to the other side that you are ready to settle on the details and move forward. The problem with arriving at this crossroads, and announcing you’re there, is that you have just indicated that you value simply reaching an agreement over getting what you actually want. And a skilled negotiator on the other side may well use this moment as an opportunity to stall, and thus to negotiate further concessions. Unless you actually face extreme time pressure, you shouldn’t be the party to point out that the clock is loudly ticking in the background. Create a situation in which your counterpart is as eager to finalize the negotiation (or, better yet: more eager!) than you are.

3. “Why don’t you throw out a number?” There are differing schools of thought on this, and many people believe you should never be the first person in a negotiation to quote a price. Let the other side start the bidding, the thinking goes, and they will be forced to show their hands, which will provide you with an advantage. But some research has indicated that the result of a negotiation is often closer to what the first mover proposed than to the number the other party had in mind; the first number uttered in a negotiation (so long as it is not ridiculous) has the effect of “anchoring the conversation.” And one’s role in the negotiation can matter, too. In the bookNegotiation, Adam D. Galinsky of Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management andRoderick I. Swaab of INSEAD in France write: “In our studies, we found that the final outcome of a negotiation is affected by whether the buyer or the seller makes the first offer. Specifically, when a seller makes the first offer, the final settlement price tends to be higher than when the buyer makes the first offer.”

4. “I’m the final decision maker.” At the beginning of many negotiations, someone will typically ask, “Who are the key stakeholders on your side, and is everyone needed to make the decision in the room?” For most entrepreneurs, the answer, of course, is yes. Who besides you is ever needed to make a decision? Isn’t one of the joys of being an entrepreneur that you get to call the shots? Yet in negotiations, particularly with larger organizations, this can be a trap. You almost always want to establish at the beginning of a negotiation that there is some higher authority with whom you must speak prior to saying yes. In a business owner’s case, that mysterious overlord could be a key investor, a partner, or the members of your advisory board. The point is, while you will almost certainly be making the decision yourself, you do not want the opposing negotiators to know that you are the final decision maker, just in case you get cornered as the conversation develops. Particularly in a high-stakes deal, you will almost certainly benefit from taking an extra 24 hours to think through the terms. For once, be (falsely) humble: pretend like you aren’t the person who makes all of the decisions.

5. “Fuck you.” The savviest negotiators take nothing personally; they are impervious to criticism and impossible to fluster. And because they seem unmoved by the whole situation and unimpressed with the stakes involved, they have a way of unnerving less-experienced counterparts. This can be an effective weapon when used against entrepreneurs, because entrepreneurs tend to take every aspect of their businesses very personally. Entrepreneurs often style themselves as frank, no-nonsense individuals, and they can at times have thin skin. But whenever you negotiate, remember that it pays to stay calm, to never show that a absurdly low counter-offer or an annoying stalling tactic has upset you. Use your equanimity to unnerve the person who is negotiating with you. And if he or she becomes angry or peeved, don’t take the bait to strike back. Just take heart: You’ve grabbed the emotional advantage in the situation. Now go close that deal.

Did we miss a great negotiating tip? If so, let us know; post your feedback in the comments section below.

Bonus: The average face of women across the world.

15 Ancient Mysteries That Aren’t So Mysterious

Written by

I blame the History Channel. It used to be just the kooks who believed that extraterrestrials were responsible for anything in humanity’s past, or that amazing advanced ancient societies on islands disappeared leaving only a handful of artifacts in their wake. Now, with a supposedly fact-based network backing them up, a whole new generation of people are falling for the same old BS. Here are 15 mysteries that just aren’t so mysterious.

15. Nazca Lines

Just because you can see a shape from the sky doesn’t mean that aliens were involved. The Nazca Lines are honestly one of the most amazing pieces of land art that still survive, but no one thinks that Cerne Abbas giant in England has anything to do with extra-terrestrials. Maybe that’s because of its immense cock. Why is it so hard to imagine that the Nazca people made these sigils because they had religious significance to them, not because they were trying to signal passing UFOs? Yes, it’s a mystery exactly what they were used for, but so is a surprising amount of archaeology, especially regarding extinct religions. It’s an incredibly arid region, so there’s a pretty good chance that they were used for some sort of rain ritual. And all the cry about how you couldn’t have planned them without aerial help? BS. There’s evidence that stakes were placed at the ends of lines, and its been shown that these immense shapes could be made by just small teams using basic tools and knowledge.

14. Colonisation of the Pacific

For a long time, people were utterly bewildered by the colonisation of the Pacific, and how the whole area could have been inhabited in such a relatively short time period. I’ve seen some snake-fucking crazy explanations for how the islands were settled — from the lost tribes of Israel to the Egyptians. Here’s a much better and simpler explanation: the native Pacific Islanders were amazing fucking sailors. It’s what all the evidence points to. They started as the aboriginal inhabitants of Taiwan, and from there spread over the entire goddamn Pacific, until they eventually stopped when they ran out of Islands: Hawaii, New Zealand, and Rapa Nui. I’m sorry Thor Heyerdahl, it was not the South Americans which colonised the Pacific. All the evidence shows a migration from the west.

13. Building of the Pyramids

Once again, another classic “primitive man could never have done this!” spiel, which demands outside resources or alien help. Look, ancient people weren’t stupid, they just had different knowledge and tools. Yes, the Pyramids are incredible feats of engineering, and no, we don’t agree on the specifics of how they were built. However, there is ample evidence — historical and archaeological — to show that the Egyptians didn’t need no stinking ETs to do their work. They had tens of thousands of skilled workers — not slaves — either hired specially or else doing labor as a way of paying tax. They had mathematicians and architects. They had levers and machinery to help move the blocks. And most of all, they had decades in which to build them. There are few problems that can’t be solved just by chucking more man-hours at them — just ask China.

12. Mu/Lemuria/Atlantis

There are no sunken continents. You know why? Continents don’t fucking sink! That’s now how they work. Small volcanic islands? Yeah, they can sink — but not entire bloody continents. Not only that but this whole Atlantis thing is a pile of crock. It pops up in Plato’s Timaeus and Critias. They’re both filled with parables, stories, and outdated views on the world. The whole Atlantis thing is a story of a story of a story, and is anachronistic with much of the rest of the work. Nobody goes around saying Plato was right with his four elements views of the world, so why do we still cling to Atlantis?

11. Dropa Stones

Sungods in Exile was a book published in 1978 under the name David Agamon, alleging that the Dopa people of Tibet had extraterrestrial origin, and that the Dopa Stones had coded messages from the aliens. All the usual whackadoodles jumped on board, saying that these people must be aliens. Except the whole thing was a hoax, published under a psuedonym. None of the researchers exist, and the whole trick was just to pull the wool over people’s eyes. Anyone with even a lick of sense would notice the immense plotholes in the stories, such as completely fictitious Chinese names of researchers, photographs of artifacts that don’t match what’s being described, and the general scent of bullshit.

10. Lost Tribes of Israel

Around the 700BCE mark, the Kingdom of Israel got its ass royally handed to it by a number of invading kingdoms, who proceeded to take over the land and kick out most of the people. Because of this, 10 of the 12 acknowledged tribes of Israel kind of fell off the map, dissolved by slavery, death, and deportation. Now, there are plenty of far flung Jewish groups in Asia, Africa and around the world who believe they are descended from the lost tribes, and that’s all well and dandy and the validity of those claims is not mine to raise. Rather, it’s the fact that all through the 19th and early 20th Century, whenever some explorer found out about a new group of people or a monumental archaeological site, they automatically said “oh, it’s the lost tribes of Israel!” The lost tribes did not colonise the Pacific. They were not the Native Americans (sorry Mormons). They were not the Scythian, Kurds, Japanese or Irish. They probably moved and were absorbed into local populations, preserving their traditions wherever possible.

9. Starchild Skull

This 900 year old skull from Mexico is said to be a human/alien hybrid. Let me reiterate Occam’s Razor, “when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not unicorns.” See, there are a bunch of medical conditions which can cause severe malformations in skulls of children: hydrocephaly, brachycephaly and Crouzan syndrome all spring to mind, and all of which can make the head of a child look distinctly abnormal. Not only that, but DNA analysis shows that the skull was completely human. Hmmm…let’s see, which is more likely, a well known birth defect, or a secret ancient human alien breeding program?

8. Eltanin Antenna

What is this odd thing spotted on the sea floor of Cape Horn in 1964? Why that upright shape, those protruding arms, it must be some sort of antenna! Are the reds spying on us? Is it alien technology? The remains of an ancient technologically advanced race? Time travel? Or, it’s something strange that lives on the bottom of the sea. Face it, the ocean is filled with weird and wonderful creatures, all of which are perfectly natural, which are happy to blow our minds without requiring paranormal explanations. This is a Cladorhiza concrescens, a carnivorous sea sponge, which admittedly looks pretty odd, but so do many deep sea critters.

7. Klerksdorp Spheres

I will happily admit that the Klerksdorp Spheres are some of the coolest things imaginable. Found in a 3 billion year old rock deposit, they’re often claimed as the perfect example of an out-of-place artifact, and that anything that smooth or regular must have been made by human hands! Unfortunately, no cigar. They’re actually extremely old concretions, weird build-ups of sediment and ash that expand radially, sometimes growing in to one another. Similar things are found in ancient deposits in New York, Australia and Utah. Much of the descriptions of these are blatantly false, which lead many to believe that they must be crafted: claims that they’re made out of a non-natural alloy, or that they’re perfectly spherical. They’re natural, incredibly cool, and I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on one. But they’re not that mysterious.

6. Coso Artifact

Another typical “out-of-place artifact” example, easily explainable by science, but completely misrepresented by the wingnuts. Spotted in 1961 by a man hunting for geodes in California, he cut into it looking for crystals, and found a man-made object! Given that geodes are near half-a-million years old, how could something like this have existed 500,000 years ago? Except for the fact that it’s just a 1920s Champion spark plug, commonly found in the Model T and Model A Fords, with 40 years of concretion and crap built up around it. As the plug rusted, the iron bonded with materials in the soil around it, forming a hard shell. Oooh…mysterious!

5. Heavener Runestone/Kensington Runestone/American Runestones

Anytime you hear about a big runestone found somewhere in North America, chronicling the arrival of viking explorers, they’re almost always fakes. Anyone with a linguistic background in runes always manages to dissect them and show that they’re complete BS, filled with anachronistic language and improper construction — but that doesn’t stop people from clinging to them. I don’t understand why people are so taken by them. It’s not like we don’t have solid evidence for pre-Columbian contact in North America, especially in parts of Canada, they just didn’t stick around long enough to have a proper settlement. The Kensington, Heavener, AVM, and Elbow Lake runestones are all fake, sorry. You know what is cool, though? There’s some pretty good evidence of pre-Columbian contact in the form of Basque fisherman, who came to America to harvest the incredibly cod schools. They just didn’t tell anyone about their trade secrets.

4. Ica Stones

The Ica Stones popped up in the 60s from Peruvian physician Javier Cabrera, who claimed that these archaeological stones showed ancient peoples riding dinosaurs and using advanced machines. They caused quite a stir, and were used frequently by creationists to say “look, see, dinosaurs and humans living together! Flintstones…I mean The Bible…was right!” Except it turns out it was all a heaping pile of triceratops shit. The stones were all being provided by a farmer looking to turn a quick buck, who made the engravings on river stones then baked them in dung to make them look old, before selling them on for a huge profit. Every piece of analysis performed on the hundreds of stones he crafted shows that they’re all modern, and show none of the wear something thousands of years old would have.

3. The 1421 Chinese Expedition

Fucking Gavin Menzies. His stupid book 1421: The Year China Discovered the World is nothing but an expansive pack of lies, built on the back of supposition, a complete lack of understanding of archaeological evidence, and just bold outright bullshit. The ancient map? It’s from the 1700s, and not a copy of an older one, it’s filled with too many anachronisms that couldn’t have been used in the 1400s. Pretty much every piece of evidence Menzies tries to use is bullshit, and only supported by crackpots, and a complete missing of the point of what actually happened in any of the locations that he cited. He also fails to account for the fact that in the 1400s, China was the largest and most efficient bureaucracy on the planet which obsessively recorded EVERYTHING. Yet they only recorded this so called voyage as far as Africa — coincidentally as far as the evidence actually shows the fleet went.

2. Crystal Skulls

Sorry Lucas, sorry Speilberg, sorry Akroyd — the South American crystal skulls are not pre-Columbian. They were not made by some lost ancient art, nor are they alien. They do not demonstrate heretofore unknown ancient carving traditions, nor are they an unknown crystal type otherwise never seen. Crystal skulls do not feature in Mesoamerican mythology. What they are, is incredibly interesting pieces of crystal, carved in 19th century Europe, and sold to gullible antique collectors for a huge sum. You know how we know? The teeth were all carved using a modern rotary drill, which we can tell from the grooves it left. The crystal has also been sourced to a type that is only found in Madagascar and Brazil, of which none has been found in Mesoamerica. Where it is found commonly is the jewelry workshops of the German town town of Idar-Oberstein, renowned in the late 19th century for their work with this stone.

1. Antikythera Mechanism

Finally, lets finish up with something that isn’t mystical, isn’t alien, isn’t magical. Something that turned out to be exactly what we thought it was — namely one of the most badass pieces of ancient engineering ever discovered. The Antikythera mechanism. Dated somewhere between 150 and 100 BC, this ancient calculator was an astronomical clock, used to calculate solar, lunar and astronomical cycles, as well as when the next Olympics were due. It’s a piece of unparalleled work, with stunning miniaturisation, exactingly made cogs with perfect teeth, and an accuracy that blows my mind. The ancient Greeks didn’t need time travellers or aliens to make this. They needed incredibly dedicated intellectuals and engineers who created a machine of incomparable beauty and design. And that is exactly what they had.

Bonus: How Dell ships 65 screws

Coffee is Hazardous to Your Health…It’s Also Beneficial. 7 Health Facts about Coffee

Written by Sara Novak

Before I moved to South Carolina from Washington D.C., I used to enjoy a sizable Starbucks coffee each morning on my way to work. I started my day like the Tasmanian Devil, flying around my office like a child jacked up on sweet tarts. So after I moved south and my life began to slow down a bit, I gradually downgraded my caffeine intake. And just a few years later, I still enjoy a delicious cup o’ Joe, but today it’s the decaffeinated, organic, fair trade variety. It’s a pleasant morning ritual too painful to part with. But is coffee good for your health? Similar to alcohol, the studies seem to seesaw back and forth.

So when you’re considering your morning coffee, here are some health facts to keep in mind:

The Good:

1. Coffee Reduces Your Risk of Diabetes

diabetes health type 2 diabetes photo

Photo: Jeff Hamilton/Thinkstock

In a 2005 review of nine studies, researchers found that for those that drank four to six cups of coffee per day, versus only two or fewer, their risk for Type 2 diabetes decreased by almost 30 percent. The number decreased by 35 percent when people drank more than six cups per day. And if you’re picturing yourself running around the office with your eyes bugging out of your head, no worries because caffeinated and decaffeinated coffees provided much the same results.

2. Coffee Fights Free Radicals

coffee beans organic coffee photo

Photo: Brand X Pictures

We often forget that coffee is actually a plant and like all plant foods, the coffee bean contains more than 1000 naturally occurring substances called phytochemicals, which may help prevent disease. Many of thesephytochemicals are antioxidants which protect the cells from damage from free radicals.

3. Coffee Improves Memory and Cognition

cognition memory anti-aging photo

Photo: Siri Stafford

Researchers reported that volunteers who drank caffeinated coffee in the morning performed better than nondrinkers on tests that involved learning new information. Coffee can also improve cognitive function as we age. One study found that combining coffee with a sweet treat had an even bigger impact.

According to study researcher Josep M. Serra Grabulosa, from the Department of Psychiatry and Clinical Psychobiology at Universidad de Barcelona:

Our main finding is that the combination of the two substances improves cognitive performance in terms of sustained attention and working memory by increasing the efficiency of the areas of the brain responsible for these two functions. This supports the idea of a synergistic effect between two substances, in which each one boosts the effect of the other.

The Bad
4. Coffee Can Increase Osteoporosis

bone health osteoporosis health photo

Photo: Thinkstock

It’s true that coffee can cause the body to excrete calcium in urine. We don’t want the body to rid itself of calcium because this can lead to osteoporosis. According to The Diet Channel, about five milligrams of calcium is lost per every six ounces of coffee consumed. But these calcium losses can be counter balanced with two tablespoons of milk or yogurt per cup of coffee.

5. Coffee Causes Wrinkles

wrinkles anti-aging photo

Photo: Pixland

Even though coffee has antioxidants, if you drink too much of it, it can cause wrinkling of the skin. This is a result of dehydration which is the worst thing for your skin. So when you’re drinking that morning cup or two, make sure that you’re pairing it with water. Even better, add 1 tablespoon of chia seeds to your water and let them sit for 30 minutes. The chia seeds keep you even more hydrated than regular water.

6. Coffee Can Actually Cause Weight Gain

coffee weight gain organic coffee

Photo: Jupiterimages

The blood sugar fluctuations that a caffeine high produces can contribute enormously to cravings, according toiVillage. Coffee is also socially connected to food. For example, we pair coffee with dessert or that morning powdered doughnut. Additionally, when we crash from our caffeine high that’s when we reach for all sorts of fatty snacks to keep us going.

7. Conventional Coffee Is Laden with Pesticides

pesticides organic coffee photo

Photo: Stockbyte

The coffee plant is one of the most heavily sprayed crops. It’s coated with chemicals, pesticides, and herbicides, nothing you’d want to be ingesting. If you do drink coffee, make sure that it’s the organic variety, free from assorted chemicals that leech into our ground water and can make us sick down the road.

If you switch to decaffeinated coffee, make sure the caffeine is removed in a natural way without the use of chemicals to do it. Often times, conventional decaffeinated coffee has more chemicals that regular.

Bonus: I am so confused by this right now…

7 Myths Mythbusters Proved That We Still Can’t Believe Are True

Written by James Daniels

mythbusters-episodes.jpgMythbusters! Nerd porn of the highest order! Mr. Wizard for grown-ups — with explosions! For over seven years we’ve watched Adam and Jamie’s Odd Couple act, watched Grant build the awesomest of machines, watched Tory hurt himself, and watched Kari… well, just watched Kari, really.

But as much as we love the cast, there’s something much greater here that appeals directly to our nerd natures: Who among us hasn’t watched as the crew went to work on a myth so obviously absurd that we’d scoff and snicker? Filled with smug arrogance we’d sit back as what we already knew to be false is proven incontrovertibly so… and store the relevant information away for later use in cementing our superiority over lesser beings who believe such nonsense. Only it doesn’t always work that way.

Every now and then, Mythbusters will throw our snark right back in our nerdy faces, and the most outrageous of urban myths will be proven absolutely true — even a finding of “Plausible” can be an enormous shock to the system. So, not only does the show allow us to flaunt our “intellectual superiority,” it also provides the occasional dose of much needed humility. Here then are seven myths whose results blew our minds, and reminded us that maybe we’re not as incredibly brilliant as we thought we were.

7) Driving While Angry Uses More Gas
This sounds a lot like one of those bullshit things parents and teachers tell you that “seem” sensible, but later in life you learn are pure moonshine designed to discourage bad or unhealthy habits (like the one about sugar causing hyperactivity). Not in this case: The Mythbusters declared this one 100% confirmed when they compared fuel consumption between a calm driver and one put through various agitations and discomforts (this could be why oil companies seem to be so good at pissing people off). 

6) You Can Actually Slap Sense Into Someone 

Who hasn’t seen a groggy character in some movie get his faculties restored by a good, hard SMACK? But, since we’re all rational, intelligent people, it is our default position to disbelieve everything the world of cinema presents us, and to show disdain to anyone who falls for this crap… only it’s true! A sharp slap was shown to improve alertness and mental acuity, information we’re certain no one would think of using as an excuse to smack the bejeezus out of irritating individuals… right?

5) You Can Stick Your Hand Into Molten Lead Without Injury… Briefly 


This sounds more like an immensely cruel practical joke than a myth, nevertheless, it works exactly the way it says: It’s called the Leidenfrost Effect, and it’s real nifty! The lead has to be sufficiently hot, but if it is, the water will turn to vapor and temporarily protect your hand (it’s impossible to overstress the “temporarily” part here!). Volunteers?

4) Nervousness Can Cause Cold Feet


Apparently not everyone who came up with these expressions back in the old-timey days was zonked out on opium-laced cough syrup. This old saw proved to have some honest veracity to it: They had Tory, Grant and Kari face their worst fears and monitored the temperature of their feet — Grant and Kari showed a significant decrease, but Tory’s results were inconclusive, thus the determination of “Plausible.” Gotta love the video — we’re not even particularly arachnophobic, but that creeps us the hell out!

3) Elephants Are Really Afraid of Mice 


This was the very myth that inspired the creation of this list in the first place. We were nothing short of flabbergasted! To buy into an absurd cartoon stand-by like this would be akin to believing rabbits tend to cross-dress and hit on speech-impaired hunters. And yet, when presented with the meek little rodent, the formidable beasts not only took notice — but did their best to avoid the tiny creatures. True, they didn’t freak out, jump up on their hind legs and go “EEK!” But the very fact that they didn’t simply ignore the mice, as Adam and Jamie predicted, makes this quite a humbling entry.

2) An Ultrasonic Motion Sensor Can Be Thwarted by a Bedsheet 


This was one of those myths where upon hearing the “logic” behind how it’s supposed to work, the viewer suspects it’s the product of a poor understanding of the device in question, but nope, this one’s totally accurate: A simple sheet draped over the head was able absorb the sound waves emitted by an ultrasonic motion sensor. It seemed to kinda cut down on visibility — but we assume one could always cut eye holes, if they don’t mind sneaking through the lair of a supervillain looking like a Peanuts cartoon ghost.

1) Cursing Aloud Helps People Tolerate Pain More than Not Cursing


This is so fucking cool (hey, we’re just increasing our pain tolerance). Makes you wonder what it is about those words? Screaming “fiddlesticks!” at the top of your lungs won’t produce the same effect, so it can’t simply be the yelling… regardless, this myth isn’t just a convenient excuse for the use of “colorful metaphors,” it’s backed up by the experimental data. And you have to admire the clever apparatus they designed so the viewers wouldn’t be scandalized by watching Kari’s lovely mouth form “naughty words”. So, we’ve so far shown the values of physical violence AND obscene language — who says this website isn’t informative!

Bonus: As a six-year-old, this was the best book ever

A Guide: How Not To Say Stupid Stuff About Egypt

Written by sarthanapalos

The past few days I have heard so many stupid things from friends, blogs, pundits, correspondents, politicians, experts, writers that I want to pull my hair.  So, I will not beat around the bush, I will be really blunt and give you a handy list to keep you from offending Egyptians, Arabs and the world when you discuss, blog or talk about Egypt.  Honestly, I would think most Progressives would know these things, but let’s get to it.

  • “I am so impressed at how articulate Egyptians are.”  Does this sound familiar?  Imagine saying this about a Latino or African American?  You don’t say it.  So don’t say it about Egyptians.   Gee, thank you oh great person who is of limited experience and human contact for recognizing that out of 80 million people some could be articulate, educated and speak many languages.  Not cool.  Don’t say it.  You may think it, but it makes you sound like a dumb ass.
  • “This is so sad”:  No, sad were the thirty years of oppression, repression and torture.
  • ” I loved Sadat”:  Mubarak was made of the same cloth of Sadat.  Same repression, same ill-treatment of their people, yet you were all in love with Sadat.  Hmm, where and when do you think the repression started?  The State Of Emergency?  Sadat was not loved by the Egyptian people.   Why do you love Sadat?
  • “What they did to the Mummies is horrible”:  Yes, but who did it?  Think, Mubarak, for years has been playing the “I am the stabilizing force”.  The one thing you know about Egypt, the stuff that was underground and from the past, you will be distraught and find the protestors to be disgusting.  Yet it was not the protesters who did it.  In Alexandria, the young people protected the library.  Did anyone carry that story?  Statement from the Director of the Alexandria Library:

The library is safe thanks to Egypt’s youth, whether they be the staff of the Library or the representatives of the demonstrators, who are joining us in guarding the building from potential vandals and looters.  I am there daily within the bounds of the curfew hours.   However, the Library will be closed to the public for the next few days until the curfew is lifted and events unfold towards an end to the lawlessness and a move towards the resolution of the political issues that triggered the demonstrations.

The Muslim Brotherhood is not on the U.S. Foreign Terrorist Organizations list. It renounced violence in the 1970s and has no active militia (although a provocative martial arts demonstration in December 2006 raised some alarm that they may be regrouping a militia.)

Nevertheless, the Muslim Brotherhood or Ikhwan Al Muslimun in Arabic, is frequently mentioned in relation to groups such as Hamas and Al Qaeda.

  • “The Twitter Revolution”. No, this is the Revolution of the Egyptian people.  Egyptians resisted for decades.  They were tortured, jailed and repressed by the Mubarak and Sadat regimes.  Twitter and Facebook are tools.  They did not stand in front of the water canons, or go to jail for all these years to get the credit.  There were demonstrations all summer long and for a several years through out Egypt but they are rarely covered, because we are worried about what Sarah Palin said, or some moronic Imam saying something stupid.  Does it sound a bit arrogant to take credit for a people’s struggle?
  • “The women are so brave”:  Egyptian women have always been brave.  If you want to know about Sadat’s Egypt, read Nawal El Saadawi’s memoir while in jail.  Memoirs from the Women’s Prison
  • “Al Jazeera has come to it’s own”: Al Jazeera has been on it’s own, you just only noticed. .  Do you think you believed the Bush administration spin about Al Jazeera?  Just maybe you believed the bullshit?  They must be doing something right if all the factions on the ground want to shut them down.  The tyrants, the US and the Israelis.  Hmm, maybe they are speaking truth to power?
  • “Mubarak kept the peace treaty”: So, what do you think, if the Egyptian people choose another government, they will go to war with Israel?  Maybe they will demand a few more things from Israel in how they negotiate with the Palestinians.  Maybe Gazans will get better treatment?  Maybe the balance of power will not be tipped over to Israel?  Egypt protests: Israel fears unrest may threaten peace treaty.   Hmm, so we should support the oppression of 80 million Egyptians for a false stabilization?
  • “If they get Democracy they will elect extremists”.  Imagine if the world said that about America.  The Tea Party threatens world stability, as did the Bush administration.  How would you like if others used that as a threat to support an autocrat who made all opposing parties illegal?  In truth, US politics threaten world stability more than Egypt does.  Second, the implication is that democracy is not to be trusted in the hands of “certain” nations, people and religions is offensive, racist and ignorant.  You do not claim to value human rights, democracy and freedom and then you make exclusions based on race, nationality and religion.  Don’t say this shit.
  • “The people are so nice”:  Yes they are, it’s your ignorant self that assumed they are all terrorists and fanatics.  What did you think?  Glad you went to Egypt and found the Egyptians nice.  After all, they do have a cosmopolitan civilization of over 5,000 years, yet you reduced them to “rag heads” , “jihadists”, “ali babas”, “terrorists”, the list is endless.  Imagine saying this about African Americans?  Asians?  Nope.  Just don’t fucking say it.  It’s patronizing.

It’s time Egyptians were heard.  It’s time the pundits and “Egypt hands” (old recycled western diplomats) were retired. These people were as good at predicting the current events as our economists were in predicting the economic calamity.  I am glad you all got to see things from Egypt outside your comfort zone.  Maybe now, you can give Egyptians and Arabs some respect.  The people in Egypt are struggling for human rights, dignity and freedom.  Like the rest of us, they want the economic means to care for their families.  Break down those closed ideas that dehumanize the Arab and Egyptian people in general.  That is all I ask.

Bonus:My response whenever a theist asks me: “What if you’re wrong?”