Written by Garrett Grothe
There was recently an article written about why it’s a good thing to date or marry a girl who plays video games, being the chauvinistic pig that I am I thought it only fair to write an article listing the top 10 reasons it would be a negative thing to date a girl gamer (this is a parody). These choices are purely for entertainment purposes and have no bearing on the actual way I (or the staff at PlanetXbox360.com) feel about women in general (our editor-in-chief is married for example). For one thing it’s really unique when a girl is actually passionate about video games, so I won’t take any credit away from those females; however dating/marrying one is a different story completely. This is also a semi-response to an article posted by some fellow gaming journalists of mine, that just happen to be females, over at GamingAngels.com – Ten Reasons Why you Should Date a Girl Gamer. Below are the top 10 reasons why just such a decision could end up being a nightmare and/or the biggest mistake you have ever made:
10. Sharing is Caring (and Annoying):
Guys, dating a gamer girl means that waiting your turn to play something is going to happen and since you are so kind and compassionate, your wait could last a few hours if your girl really gets into something that she is playing. Sure, sharing is part of life and its childish not to share but when it means you have to wait to finish the last 20 minutes of Mass Effect 2 or miss out Call of Duty night with the guys because it was her turn, it’s tough to find this an appealing situation. I’ve even met a few gamer girls who like the idea of sharing a gamertag with their significant other, this friends, is a terrible idea especially when you are proud of your 2.0 kill/death ratio.
9. Split-Screen Life:
Does anyone really enjoy split-screen anymore? No offense to those who do, but having your first playthrough of an awesome new game cut through the middle is not really an enjoyable experience. In a relationship with both of you being gamers, there will inevitably be a game that releases that your girl really wants to play through and oh, what luck, the game has a split-screen co-op option for the campaign. I can’t even begin to express my feelings about playing multiplayer over live, with the screen split in half. Good luck with that scenario.
8. You’ll Have Plenty of Alone Time in Your Mancave (NOT):
Whenever I have been in a relationship, video games were always my getaway or chance to escape to the mancave, which is always healthy for a relationship especially when you live together. But when you’re dating a gamer girl, she wants to play through games with you and most often enjoys watching you play games. So you can’t really call your gaming room a mancave if your girl is spending plenty of time in there with you, it loses its “sacred” status. So you’ll have boatloads of fun as you try to find a hobby outside of gaming that lets you have some alone time, because she’ll most likely want to be in the room when you finish the new Call of Duty.
7. You’ll Spend Plenty of Rupees:
I swear dating a gamer girl is more expensive than dating a girl who doesn’t play video games. Most seem to want the same stuff other girls like such as, expensive clothes, MAC makeup, Coach purses and now the cost of a $60 game is added from time to time. All of a sudden, you’ll find yourself buying games you want and games that would have never played that your girlfriend wants to play, and we all know how expensive of a habit gaming can be, it’s a whole lot worse when you times it by 2.
6. Enjoy Your Backseat Gamer:
When a gamer girl isn’t playing a game with you, she is probably watching you play and odds are she wants to “help.” Now, we have all done our fair share of backseat gaming, but you are going to be with this woman a lot and she will most likely point out stuff as you play a game. This can be helpful, but it’s not usually fun when all you games are played with someone over your shoulder.
5. Trading in/Selling Games is a Negotiation:
Trading in games from time to time can definitely help take the load off a purchase of a new game, but when you are sharing a library of titles it becomes a 2-man/woman job to decide what can be traded in and what can’t. “I haven’t finished that one yet” or “I love that game, we have to keep it” becomes common conversation lines when trying to offload some titles you don’t play anymore. This often ends in not having anything to trade in and you must pay for everything out of pocket.
4. Are You Sure You Want to Restore Hard Drive?:
Bad breakups with a gamer girl will not end well, especially when they know their way around all of your consoles menus. We have definitely heard of girls cleaning everything off a guy’s hard drive in an act of revenge. Sure, non gamer girls might commit acts such as smashing a console, but at least the hard drive usually stays intact without losing all your hard work.
3. Gamer Weddings are Tacky:
Don’t get me wrong, originally video game weddings were extremely uncommon and very unique, but good luck not hearing about them constantly nowadays. Girls love weddings and some, not all gamer girls love gamer weddings but they are just so over done now that they have lost their original appeal.
2. Game Arguments, You Will Have Them:
I’m not sure that there is a more terrible argument in the world, than an argument over how good/bad a game is, what game to play together, or even whose turn it is to play. They are obnoxious arguments that probably would never happen if dating a girl who didn’t play games. It’s good to take video games seriously from time to time, but it’s kind of silly if they can cause a rift in your relationship. Nobody wants to say that they broke up over a disagreement about a video game; that would be laughable.
1. A Self-Proclaimed Girl Gamer is Probably a Controller Hog:
Oh man, this argument is always a popular staple in the industry, so we won’t go too deep into it, but the girls who play video games and don’t flaunt it are usually the most respectable. Unfortunately, the girls who run around in video game shirts trying to strike up a conversation about how awesome they are at video games tend to be the ones to stay far away from. These attributes are usually huge cries for attention that is never enjoyable in a relationship, especially when they continue to act this way after they are dating a guy. Guys, dating one of these girls is a nightmare, don’t waste your attention on them because they are most likely getting it from plenty others.
Bonus: Courage is stronger than weapons