Facebook messages from freshman roommate. He’s a d*ck.

Written by Jeff Rosenberg

On 20 hours ago My cousin Jordan is starting his freshman year this coming August. He just got his roommate assignment and sent this over to me the other day. Check it out.

36 thoughts on “Facebook messages from freshman roommate. He’s a d*ck.

  1. required

    It would be fun to see this updated 4 years from now. Nolan is a bitter and disillusioned Best Buy cashier and Nolan has a crew of workers that fix up the houses he flips.

  2. KIRK

    This article and its opening sentence were the tipping point. I have officially un-subscribed via my reader.

    “On 20 hours ago My cousin Jordan…” – This sentence made no sense, and ironically was the opening statement which made fun of someone else’s incompetence.

  3. Rubbrbaron

    An Xbox and a TV!! Sheesh, Jordan is the d*ck in this equation. I can just picture it 20 years from now — Jordan is in line for a meal at the homeless mission. Then in comes the doctor to treat his aids — yep, his former rooommate Nolan!

    It’s OK to be poor, Jordan, but don’t use that as an excuse to be a jerk!

  4. Mel C

    I can see Nolan’s point… necessities… hmmm??? Fridge to keep food cold and from spoiling, microwave to heat food up and eat it… They’re about the same price so… TV and XBox, not so much necessities as “nice-to-haves.” But Nolan being pre-med, he probably won’t make much use of the TV. Sell the stupid TV and XBox and bring the stupid microwave Jordan! So you can eat something better than school food. Duh. And forget the stupid TV. You said your parents had just divorced, yet they’re forking over a fortune to pay for you to go to school. Make the best of the situation and don’t worry about entertaining yourself.

    Enough ranting, sorry…

  5. Keith

    Actually, I’m not sure who the bigger dick is. I think that Nolan has a valid point, and he’s obviously making some sort of an effort… at first. Jordan sounds like meathead douchebag. Not that Nolan’s responses (and refrigerator ultimatum) isn’t a dick move either, or his pretentious tone. But you can tell he’s not looking forward to rooming with the dumb jock.

    Not to mention that Jordan can’t afford a $50 microwave, but sports an iPhone and uses phrases like “pretty chill.”

    Frankly I wouldn’t want to room with either of these guys, but at least Nolan won’t be coming home at all hours drunk off his ass and with some skank.

  6. Juli

    Um, towards the end Nolan seemed more dick-ish. That’s a word, the hyphen makes it so. Jordan just seems kind of slow and a bit stupid, you know, an average person. Nolan’s got a sense of entitlement bigger than most people’s houses. So his roomie can’t afford to buy a microwave, no need to be a brat about using the fridge.

  7. aion kina

    Quite funny and pathetic. Seems like Jordan is the laid back type who thinks dorms are an escape zone and prefers to play video games with his Xbow 360. If there’s WiFi there, I bet he’s gonna play online games like WoW and Aion online too.

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