A 5th Grader’s written plans to take over the world

Plan to Take Over World

FOUND by Brooke in Long Beach, Mississippi

Haha, I found this on the floor in my school’s hallway… I’m guessing he likes Halo. This child isโ€ฆ wellโ€ฆ um.. _______. Yeah!

69 thoughts on “A 5th Grader’s written plans to take over the world

  1. The Brain

    Surely you are Pinky….. you most be the mouse pinky.
    I havn’t seen you in a while, ungrateful mouse…. probably the fame from our TV shows changed you forever.

    You will never succeed without me,

    The Brain

  2. Pudding4me

    Oh man I’m with you 100% on this, but I don’t think we should make a spartan army, I’d rather have a samurai army.. Then again they have to kill themselves if they lose don’t they? Okay how about we have factions, a Spartan army, a Samurai army, a Ninja army, a Pirate army, and I think we should enslave Liberace since you see him as such a great obstacle he can surly aid us in battle!

  3. Humorless Today

    wow. this post is totally not cool and far from a best article. killing gays and performing genocide – not cute from a 9yo. and really a sick choice to post by this site.

  4. Julia

    Haha, I took it that an older person wrote it, and after watching ‘are you smarter than a fifth grader’ a great fear of said grade was harbored. They must be stopped!

  5. Mattt

    I think having a Spartan army would not be the best plan considering there being alot of revolutionary inventions since the bronze age. a better plan would be to get a whole bunch of children perhaps kindergardeners and raze them to become more modern super soldiers.

  6. Mattt

    well thats silly. video games are not real life. thease are things you need to think of before you try to take over the world.

  7. Dave

    So, you didn’t turn this in to the proper authorities? The school wasn’t locked down and SWAT wasn’t called? No FBI? No handwriting analysis to uncover the culprit, thus derailing a Columbine-like(tm) school massacre? You didn’t release the name of the terrorist child to the Media so they could holler for a couple of days about how video games and hip-hop are warping the children, filling them with xenophobia and hate? No satellite trucks in front of the parent’s home, with sweaty, gushing teenaged girls yelping into microphones and live feeds about how the parent failed and interviewing neighborss about how, “they were just a quiet family who kept to themselves” except that one time the boy was spotted in the back yard throwing dirt clods at green plastic Army Men? Then you, BROOKE, are a disgrace as an educator. Turn in your credential.

  8. MARK

    stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

  9. Lolz

    In response to # 7, I’m gay and find it hilarious. And to #19, he probably is gay and doesn’t realize it yet. That’s how he knows about him.

  10. It made me laugh

    @ Yair Tendler – Step #7 might be a bit difficult but I think step #8 will be the hardest, considering that Liberace is already dead! He died Feb 4, 1987…

  11. Althea

    This is hilarious!! People who find this offensive or disturbing need to lighten up and laugh a little.

  12. Joe

    He’s from the south and his plan to take over the world involves revealing a homosexual and then killing him hahahahaha

    Stereotypes.

  13. Concerned?

    If you think this kid is going to go on to do something violent, you probably think that the kids who made a Doom map of their school were planning a shooting rampage (which, BTW, I did with Duke Nukem 3D, and never shot up my school–well, except for in DN3D).

    “Kill 5th Grade”? Make a Spartan army? Pretty sure this kid was bored in class and was just killing (pun intended) time–and time alone.

  14. Flux

    Total fake. Just because you pretend to have a child’s handwriting (which mine almost is despite my best efforts, perhaps because I have spent so long typing on a keyboard), doesn’t make it realistic or funny. The “child” doesn’t know who Liberachi is, doesn’t care about Michael Jackson and certainly holds no grudges against Germany (lest he has a 5th grade teacher who is overzealous about WWII).
    Get over yourself. Not funny…

  15. ArmyOfAardvarks

    This basically sounds like the stuff that I wrote at 5th grade.
    You people are way too sensitive.
    I thought it was hilarious.

  16. Lisa

    Jeez. People seriously need to lighten up.
    The kid was probably just bored in class. (Hence the ‘kill the 5th grade’).
    Learn to laugh people.

  17. Nicanadian

    teHehee, sounds like fun- count me in as an evil minion.

    Oh and for all curious people who were wondering how he knew about liberachi, he probably watches southpark and plays halo like just about any fifth grader with an older brother…

    And for everyone that is ‘disturbed’ by this post, I’m curious as to what you day dreamed about in grade school? (girls don’t count) I’d probably wager it involved any of the pop-icons of your era whether it be a power rangers or evil halo dictator or hell it could’ve been the lone ranger… my point being that it’s hardly disturbing at all, so just chillax and enjoy the endless creativity and fun-loving nature that embodies children everywhere.

  18. Schoolmaster

    This does not strike me as the work of a 5th grader, they normally would respect page margins. The style of writing is more indicative of college sophomores, and that…my dear friends… is very disturbing!!!

  19. The Billman

    I thought Liberace was was already dead, got syphilis from fucking sheep and shoving beavers up his ass.

  20. 3rd grader

    Even though it is not really written by a fifth grader, it is funny. Killing Germans is always funny. Killing gays is even funnier. Taking over the whole world funnier still. Killing people that don’t think it is funny to do those things is even funnier still. Learn to laugh.

  21. dustin

    some of you need to chill the fuck out and stop being so uptight, saying this kid is a monster and has mental issues. he is 9 years old, and a boy. that should explain everything

  22. jon

    i think by Spartans, he meant Spartan II’s (you cant see it very well in the handwriting)…so by playing too much Halo, hed believe that he could magically create an army of Master Chiefs. Yep. that makes sense.

  23. Casey B

    Wow…Michael Jackson is already dead though!
    is it too early to say this?! Oh well…I thought he was going to die soon anyways….

  24. VanWink

    Oh dear god! I think I know how he was able to fund his production of the factory and Spartans, he and Disney formed an Alliance! O_O The end is nigh! Give him 3 more years and all will be unfolded.

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  26. Mckinley Connin

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