5 LEGO Video Games That Will Never Happen

Written by The-Minus World

With the recent success of LEGO video games, we at the-minusworld decided to come up with five movies we want to see get the LEGO treatment. Enjoy, because these are definitely never going to happen.

LEGO No Country For Old Men

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How often does a game let you play as unlucky trailer trash, a crusty, pseudo-philosophical cop, and a deranged, air gun-wielding psychopathic killer with a bowl cut that would make The Beatles cringe? Not often enough.

LEGO Half Baked

A cult classic that made smoking weed cool. OK, smoking weed has always been cool, so that might be stretching it. Rumor has it that a LEGO dime bag comes free with purchase, which kind of sucks since you can’t smoke it (though I’m sure you potheads will try anyway).


Fight as the Italian Stallion before he was pummeled into dementia by Ivan Drago. Early word is that half the game will be a homo-erotic training montage, so when Apollo Creed asks you to “pound some meat,” he just wants you to use a dead cow as a punching bag, not rusty trombone each other after sprinting down a beach.


Unplanned teenage pregnancy has never been more fun! Lead Juno and her baby’s daddy (that falsetto-voiced kid from Superbad) on an epic quest to find a couple to adopt their unborn lovechild. Or just abort it and eat a case of orange Tic Tacs.

LEGO The Passion Of The Christ

You are the Christ. Battle your way through the New Testament to save Mary Magdelene from the evil clutches of Pontius Pilate. SPOILER WARNING: You die at the end, but not before paving the way for anti-Semitism, centuries of Catholic guilt, and Mel Gibson to make a shit-load of cash off the religiously insecure.

12 thoughts on “5 LEGO Video Games That Will Never Happen

  1. Adam

    Why do they have to be LEGO game? I mean, it’s funny, but it could be a video game in general.

  2. mike

    Obviously neither of you have ever played any lego video games, nor had any sort of childhood revolving around legos, just thought I’d point that out.

  3. Boing

    I’d love to see a Lego “A Clockwork Orange”. And to Mike: I’m 24 and still play with legos. Nobody likes a whiner.

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