5 Ways Environmentalists Can Be Less Annoying

Written by Environmental graffiti

Obviously, we’re not against environmentalism and environmentalists, we are of course environmentalists ourselves. But if you go to many environmental meetings or rallies, you’re bound to come across some really annoying environmentalists. There are some people that, for whatever reason, you can agree with completely about political, environmental, or social issues, but still just want to hit in the face repeatedly. I call this the “Michael Moore Effect.” So for our obnoxious brethren in the environmental community, I present 5 ways for you to be less annoying.

1. Practice what you preach.

It’s hard for anyone to take you seriously if you don’t actually do what you tell other people to do. So go plant a tree or something.

2. Get rid of those dreads, white boy.

You are not a Rastafarian. You are a 15-25 year old white boy from the suburbs who likes smoking weed. Get a fucking haircut that people will let people respect you instead of making them immediately think “Douche bag”. (Note: Dreads do look cool on rastas, just not you.)

3. Shower.

This could also be a sub part of number 2. There are WAY too many smelly environmentalists. I don’t know how it became part of the environmentalist ethos that being involved with nature means not taking showers when they are readily available, but I want to get rid of that idea right now.

4. Read a book.

We admire your rampant enthusiasm for the environmental cause, but when you go around spouting statistics or ideas you just made up or repeated because you heard another moron say it, you look stupid. This makes all environmentalists look stupid. Should you be the type of person who likes to argue and use statistics, try actually finding scientifically researched statistics.

5. While we’re at it, stop arguing.

You know who’s not always right? You. And me. And everyone else. So get off your high horse and shut your mouth on occasion. The absolute worst way to get someone to join the environmental cause is to start arguing with them. People get pissed off and then they hate you and environmentalism forever. You know who doesn’t argue with people? Mormons. And they’re growing like crazy despite being both a religious group and having views that well? some people find a bit difficult to believe. Not that I think so. I just heard that on South Park. Please don’t sue us.

So there are my suggestions for how to make environmentalists less annoying. Read it. Live it.

10 thoughts on “5 Ways Environmentalists Can Be Less Annoying

  1. Pedro Gonzales

    Nice start but incomplete. Needs more research and examples. You’re close on the shower thing because the hippy-screech type make all the noise and wag their reeking fingers at everyone as they stagger-waddle their old foreign mini cars out of the parking lot. ( When you see the idiot bumper stickers all over a piece of rust like this, look inside and marvel at the similarities to a toxic waste dump. )

  2. Some guy

    As someone who generally doesn’t think or care much about hair, I have to say that I was really irritated when I read “Get rid of those dreads, white boy.” So black people are “allowed” to have dreads because they’re from the streets/Jamaica/whatever, but whites are, you know, too square for them? When a white person does drugs, it’s lame (with which I would generally agree)โ€” but not for black people, because, like, drugs are a black thing? A practicing black Rastafarian is somehow more “authentic” than a white person who happens to have a certain hairstyle? “Dreads do look cool on rastas, just not you”? That’s patronizing to both whites and blacks, yo. (Anyway, since when does Rastafarianism prohibit whites?)

    Sorry, just had to get that out of my system. The rest are basically good points.

    You know, I think I will elaborate on my rant, but in a totally different direction: I agree that image does matter, maybe even for good reasons. (At least, there are good sociological reasons that a given society has a certain image of what “normal” looks like.) Maybe I would make your point even further and say that any environmentalist who wants to be taken seriously should demonstrate as “normal” a fashion as possible โ€” so no hairstyle but short-short-short, and maybe a suit and tie whenever it makes sense. Think of it like this: Every day is a job interview, and the interviewers are the fence-sitters on environmental issues. If they get the sense that ecological thinking isn’t just a fad or subculture, that can get them more used to thinking of it as “normal” and worth taking seriously. (Of course, it’s maybe a little ridiculous that people’s subconscious thinking works this way, but everyone’s subconscious is ridiculous.)

  3. Birdzilla

    Quit filing your stupid lawsuits and quit telling us how to live green and most of all QUIT BUMMING MONEY FROM HARD WORKING AMERICANS SO YOU CAN HOLD ANOTHER OF YOU STUPID PROTESTS

  4. Birdzilla

    1. Quit lecturing us on how to live green 2.quit hiring wealthy celeberties to do fruadulent junk mail ads 3.stop suing to get what you want 4.Quit brainwashing the kids 5.Realy help the wildlife BUILD A BIRDHOUSE OR FEEDER PLANT TREES and other things IF ITS NOT BENEATH YOUR FOOL DIGNATY

  5. Jonathan

    “You know who doesnโ€™t argue with people? Mormons. And theyโ€™re growing like crazy”


  6. Annie

    I agree with the point to stop arguing. I’ve run into some people who are really too annoying, and they’re not rabid environmentalists. Like one of my colleagues who told someone off for using too many paper towels. So holier-than-thou, you’re in the wrong I’m in the right whoopeedoo. But did she consider why that person was using so many paper towels? It was because the person was CRYING. I mean, you go and tell someone who’s crying that they’re wasting paper….. that is even more wrong than the waste. I nearly yelled at the person doing the criticising

  7. Birdzilla

    Some of those eco-freaks belive this GAIA poppycock of that idiots JAMES LOVELOCK so much they belive your wouding their mother they have those dumb window stickers show the earth and reading LOVE YOUR MOTHER and they belive were wrecking the earth with backyard BBQs

  8. Birdzilla

    I wish to be reincarnated as a bird and fly over the heads of these granola muncher tree sitters tree hugger jerks and take a crap on their heads to show my contempt for them and their rediculous back to nature movment

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