Written by Stephanie
I have a lifelong difficulty with falling asleep at night and then – even more problematic – staying asleep. I don’t have a medical cause for insomnia or any sleep disorders, just a brain that likes to go into overdrive when my body finally has a chance to lie down and rest.
I’ve looked to the Internet for sleep advice, but I’ve mainly just found lists with sleep tips so obvious it’s painful – like “avoid coffee in the evening” and “make your room dark”. It’s taken me a bit of trial and error, but finally I’ve found a number of things that really do work in helping me get to sleep and stay asleep long enough to get enough deep restorative sleep to wake up feel rested and refreshed in the morning. For me, the following has worked well. I call these sleep tips unconventional because I haven’t seen them in the typical sources – in fact, I often see the just the opposite recommended.
Nap every single day
Contrary to all the sleep sources that say to avoid napping during the day in order to sleep better at night, I believe it is actually a good idea to nap every day. But in order to make this work it is vital to stick to three rules – nap regularly, keep it short, and make it in the early afternoon: 1) By napping at the same time every day, your body will start to regulate itself to want to nap at that time and it will become easier to fall asleep quickly and take an efficient nap; 2) Keep it short – only nap for about 20 minutes. This length of time, a power nap, is just enough to make you feel refreshed and mentally more alert but doesn’t allow you to go into a deep sleep (which would interfere with falling asleep at night), and; 3) Make sure to nap in the early afternoon – preferably about 20 to 30 minutes after lunch, which is when your body is naturally inclined to feel sleepy, and early enough in the day to not interfere with falling asleep at night.
Avoid taking a hot bath
There is lots of advice that says take a hot bath right before bed to relax yourself, but since the body needs to lower its temperature in order to fall asleep a hot bath will actually keep you up. If you find a hot bath very relaxing, enjoy it about 2 hours before your bedtime so that your body has enough time to cool down. Make sure to give your body at least an hour to cool down after a bath and prior to going to bed.
Make your room cold
Similar to the point above, your body needs to cool down in order to fall asleep and stay asleep, so do what you can to make your room cool.For me, a cool bedroom has the added benefit of nestling into a heavy comforter, and I find the heavy warmth on top of me very soothing.
Don’t just “exercise”, but do so intensely, to the point of feeling physical exhaustion. At the end of the day, this is probably the single best thing for helping induce deep, restorative sleep. When I say “intensely”, I mean intense relative to your capability. For some this may mean running 5 miles, for others it may mean a brisk 20 minute walk that elevates the heart rate. Physical tiredness is absolutely essential to getting a good night’s sleep.
Limit to one glass of wine
This seems to be especially true with red wine. Drinking more than one glass of red wine is a sure-fire way to interrupt your sleep during the night and make it difficult to get back to sleep, especially (although I don’ t know why this is) if you’re over 30.
Expose yourself to bright light/sunlight soon after waking up in the morning
When you wake up, don’t lounge around in bed. Don’t even stay inside. If possible, get out in the morning sun soon after getting up. The bright sunlight (or any bright light) tells your body’s natural biological clock that its time to wake up, and that same clock will then be set to tell your body its time to go to sleep about 14 to 16 hours hours later.
Don’t watch TV
Avoid watching TV (or looking at a computer screen) at least 30 minutes before you go to bed. Many sources of sleep advice say to watch TV or do something similar like surfing the Internet to wind down before bed, but I think this is bad advice. Watching TV and going online are both mentally and visually stimulating. It may feel physically restful, but these activities stimulate the brain instead of helping the brain wind down enough to fall into sleep.
Block out noise
White noise is restful, and even more importantly, it means that I won’t be woken up with every little thump that the house makes. A fan is ideal because it does double duty of providing consistent soft background noise as well as keeping my room cool. White noise machines are also available. I got one from Radio Shack for about $20 that allows you to pick from sounds such as rain, babbling brook, and or a train (no whistles, just the wheels on the track).
Find a bedtime ritual that works for you
Warm milk? Yech. A cup of herbal tea? No thank you. These are commonly advised to help you rest and fall asleep. I say find the routine that works for you – whatever it is – and do it every night. For me, it’s the simple act of shutting the house down. Turning off all the lights, picking up stray toys, reviewing the schedule for the next day, planning breakfast for the morning rush, and locking each door. Feeling organized about the house helps me feel less anxious. This simple routine tells my body that its time to close down for the day, and it really does help. Find what helps you feel less anxious at the end of the day and incorporate into a nightly ritual.
Do what it takes to manage stress in your life
At some points in our lives we are burdened by a great deal of stress. It may be chronic pain or other health condition, a family or work situation, financial stress, or all combined. And the stressful situation may well be unavoidable. But do what you can to take some control over the stress. There are so many ways to do this – I encourage you to try some and just keep trying until you find what works for you. Simple meditation works best for me. It forces my mind to focus on something, thereby freeing up all the clutter to float to the surface, be recognized, and be gone. For others it is guided imagery, either with the help of a professional or with CD’s, regular massage, yoga or tai chi, calming music, or a therapeutic run or bike ride after work. We all have different preferences – try one that sounds appealing, but if you find it difficult to stick with it, then try a different one.
Keep pen and notebook next to your bed
Often when I’m lying in bed, or even while I’m sleeping, I’ll think of a new idea for work. Or I’ll remember something important that I forgot to do during the day. Rather than try to remember it, which causes anxiety (which is stimulating) I write it down so it exists on paper and doesn’t have to stay in my head. And if I keep a notebook for these things right next to my bed I find I’m more likely to write it down.
For those who are curious, I have tried sleep medications, biofeedback, and many other sleep aids as well, but the above combination has worked the best. I think the bottom line is to re-condition yourself to positively associate the process of going to bed with sleep, which ultimately is an act of letting go – and to get your brain to stop stressing.
The preceding tips worked perfectly for me and I hope will give you at least some ideas of what will work for you, too. What do you think ? Do you have a tip that didn’t make my list? Let us know in the comments.
I learned this technique many years ago when I had great difficulties trying to sleep. I just couldn’t seem to shut my mind down. It’s somewhat weird but it really works. And with a little practice, you’ll get better at it….
When you are in bed, close your eyes and imagine a large egg. Imagine that you can twist that egg and seperate it into halves. Now think about anything, any problem or whatever comes to your mind. Whatever you think about, imagine putting it into one part of the egg. Seperate things into seperate halves of the egg, if you want.
When you have exhausted every thought you have, then imagine putting the two halves together and twisting them until they lock together.
Now the fun part….
Imagine getting out of your bed. Feel the cool air, the carpet under your feet and walk towards your front door. It’s important here to imagine in as much detail as you can.
Open the front door and step outside, feel the air, feel the steps etc.
Now wind up and throw that egg as hard as you can. Imagine with that damn egg every person, problem or thought is gone.
Walk back to your bed and go to sleep.
This may seem like a real effort to do but it works and thats a heck of lot better than tossing and turning all night.
With practice, it won’t be long before you fall asleep long before you complete the exercise.
These are some great tips to a good sleep.The point is to give your body a comfortable atmosphere and free you mind from all the thoughts and ideas. Learn to relax and sleep will follow. And what you eat and drink before sleep definitely matters.
Add Yoga + 15 min to your favorite out of work hobby — u will look asleep for whole day!
These are excellent tips, I find I do have trouble falling asleep it’s as if mind won’t stop it keeps trying to figure things out which is good but not at dark-30 when I need my rest.
The point with the shower was well taken I think I’ve screwed that one up may times.
I’m really happy to read tips that truly work and great reminders of what not to do!
Guided imagery can definitely be helpful for stress reduction. Such a nice way to leave concerns behind! My partner creates cool guided imagery MP3s which he’ll offer for sale soon. They help him to relax and fall asleep even though they don’t focus on sleeping problems. Being able to let go is key. 🙂
Thank you Stephanie – there are some very good ideas in your post and I shall be trying them.
I never have a problem getting to sleep – I use talking books and as long as there is just one narrator (no plays) then you just fall off to sleep however interesting the story.
My problem is buses who park with their engines going outside my bedroom wondow – they wake me and then it’s pointless trying to go back to sleep as I know it will happen again with the hour.
But your post has given me lots to think about and to try so once again, Thank You
I am going to focus mostly on better diet/drinking before bed. I am also going to focus on cooling down your body. I think taking an ice cold shower might help (which I strangely enjoy anyways)
In the winter, this has helped before. open the window, and lie in bed without a shirt, and without a blanket, have your lower body covered, and not your top, as your body actually physically cools down, you at some point start to slumber more easily and wrap the blanket around you and dooze off. (It seems to have the hot chocolate after skiing affect.
#12 change your mattresses and bedding set regularly.
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I have problem of staying a sleep hopefully this might work and I’m 15
The information about NOT taking a hot bath before you sleep is rather interesting. Something like 95% of the Japanese population does this before bedtime, so I wonder if there are cultural or genetic differences at work here. As for biofeedback, this form of treatment can be used to achieve a very deep state of relaxation, which, as you can imagine, is a great way to promote sleepiness!