nope.. what am i missing?
The title is such a cliche.
Then, everything in the first page goes south the more you read it. This book is beyond bad. I wonder why would anyone even bother to publish this book?
This is a joke right? This guy Dale Courtney isn’t real is he? Please tell me it’s a joke.
I’m going to guess (wildly) that this is a self-published book, because any self-respecting editor would have thrown this in the garbage and not even bothered to fix it. But that’s just me, assuming again…
I was totally willing to go along, here…but I agree with Gates: “nope”.
This is maybe the best first page in a norwegian book. “Hunger” written by Knut Hamsun in 1890:)
Well, it looks bad, but not any worse than some books for pre-teens I’ve read when I was in school.
I can’t believe that went so far over your head…wow! funny stuff ;)
I laughed right from the start.
It’s the comments that have me worried.
what is so great or funny about it?
i don’t get it either, seems pretty bad to me.
Was this written by a 12 year old? I could write better stuff than that..
Go check the reviews on Amazon :
This is why 10 year old boys should not have computers. Come back when you learn to spell, punctuate, and THINK! Other than that, it’s pretty, er, terrible.
It might just be written by a foreigner…?
What’s the name of the book? That’s some pretty funny stuff
Its cack, not funny or clever and not good enough to be a cliche or a pastiche.
Face it people, bad is bad
The Amazon reviews are even better! Did someone hack into Amazon and upload fake reviews? I was just starting to trust the reviews there, and now this ….
Yep, you might want to check the STEWpendous revue’s at Amazon.com. But ignore awl 5 doz. Five-starr ones. Hears why:
Absolutely terrible, July 2, 2009
By Jonathan Kessler (Chicago, IL USA)
“Seriously? This is possibly the worst written piece of literature ever created. The author has the worst grammar I’ve ever seen. The few pages I’ve seen read like an 8 year old wrote them.
Oh, and all of the reviews have the same style as the book.. because the author faked ALL of them. ”
woW like coulda been a reel gude buk but it wznt, July 2, 2009
By ramazon (California, USA)
“I wanna like totally really read this book cuz from the reveiws it seams like it coulda been da bomb. but I’m worreed becuz I’m afraid the grammer level mite be too hard for me. I wish the awethor could have maid it easier for peeple like me to reed it.”
Moon People: Childish and Badly Written, July 2, 2009
By D. E. Wise “Technical Editor” (Birmingham, AL USA)
“I have read Mr. Courtney’s sample pages (Chapter 1, page 1; Chapter 9, page 1). Had you told me they were written by a 6th Grader, I would have believed you. On the basis of the sample pages alone, I would never, unless required to for an editing class (as an example of Bulwer-Lytton at his worst), purchase even a used copy of this book. I have been a technical editor for 50 years, and if Mr. Courtney ever decides to write another book, he can contact me for a quotation of my service fees. Lord knows he needs an editor! Desparately! ”
Crap, July 1, 2009
By C. Brown
“This book is the most outrageous insult to the English language ever.Reads like it was written by a retarded chimp (sorry if I insulted any real retarded chimps!).”
What’s with these comments?, July 1, 2009
By A. Kowalski
?Are all of these comments ironic or just all written by the author? I will admit I have only read two pages of this book but my god, it sounds like it was written by a 4th grader who learned English as a third language . Reading the Pages and the commens on the Book with the mispallings and Inappropriate capiTalizations made me lose faith in Humanity but i kept reading because they so interesting and I couldn’t stop because each one Was better than the first and they were Very interesting…no more need said, Buy book it change my and your life Together.”
anybody got a better first page?
The Hobbit is up there.
gotta cast mine for The Gunslinger
Sarcasm, people, sarcasm.
Of COURSE this is the result of the self-publishing explosion.
Golly, gee, I can write and publish my own book! And it’ll be set in type, just like a real book! With a real cover, and real chapters, and . . . and . . . and . . .
It seems like there used to be something like “Snoopy Awards” for opening lines that could compete with “It was a dark and stormy night.” There were always some amazing attempts.
“It was a dark and stormy night” is my favorite opening line of all time. There is none better…long live Snoopy and his precious Van Gogh. My favorite opening for a television show is Dark Shadows – in black and white – great music, great graphics just beautifully over the top.
A word about Xlibris. They are in the business to bill authors. They do have a copy editing service but that also costs money. This author probably spent a couple of grand to put this book out. It’s unfortunate that he trusted Xlibris.
When I used Xlibris for my novel “Journey Home” I submitted the book in the electronic format they directed me to use. When I received the first galley it was butchered.
A lot of Dale’s Moon mistakes very easily could have come from the Xlibris format conversion process. However our Moon author should have poured over the galley. He should have never signed off on it until it was a right as could be and had a second pair of eyes look for mistakes.
It took me 27 iterations to get my galley right. There are still some apostrophes missing but after being reduced to tears and frustrated beyond belief I got the book close enough and signed off on the 27th galley. I kid you not.
Those 27 rounds of corrections also cost me money. Every time I would submit a correction a new one would crop up where there hadn’t been one before. My customer support people all spoke English as a second language. It was an unbelievable struggle. Characters names literally appeared inside of words.
For instance the word America came back to me in the galley’s as “AmeriBenca” and not just once but replicated throughout the whole book. There’s a form and format to complete and fill out for each mistake. Ben is one of the characters in the book. That’s just one example the formatting fiasco was rampant. You want to talk tortured artist talk to me.
I muscled it through and in the end it was worth it but not financially. Although “Journey Home” has received glowing reviews from anyone who has read it (and that in and of itself is over the top rewarding) the lack of a Simon and Schuster pushing it has made the marketing of it a huge struggle. Who knows if Xlibris is reporting back to me the actual number of sales based on incompetence more than any real intent to rip me off. Some fun, ehh?
But in the end the book is out there now finally for the curious and open minded to find…..and so you never know and keep the faith.
See, this right here is why self-publishing shouldn’t exist. No one needs to read this. This may or may not be a good story, but it needs a ghostwriter, proofreader and editor. Or just to be thrown in the fireplace. Either way.
Wow. That was horrible. Even for just the first page… and the faked reviews, at the least, he could have TRIED to use a dictionary. Er. They used actual numbers? This person most likely doesn’t know how to write a proper story. I could definitely write better then this, and I am twelve. Self publishing isn’t bad, unless crappy stuff like this is submitted.
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