Worst 007 Gadgets

Written by Sean Hall

Q Main Image

Thanks to Q and M, Bond had access to a constant supply of gadgets that conveniently saved our hero from whatever jams he got into. Without the gear, James would never have gotten close to Goldfinger, Blofeld, or Dr. No. That being said, not every device introduced was a home run. For every garrote watch, exploding toothpaste, and GPS phone, there was at least one item that made you wonder what really was in the pipes of the team at MI6. Did he really need grappling suspenders or a submarine that looked like an alligator?

Our list of the Eleven Worst Gadgets ever introduced in 007 movies:

Goldeneye – Phone Booth Trap

The telephone booth has an airbag inside that expands, trapping the occupant against the glass. Now, how to get your target to make a call from the booth, wait for Mothers Day?

phone booth

It only happens when you make calls to France.

Live and Let Die – Brush Communicator

The brush has a hidden morse code transmitter. Paging Maxwell Smart, we have found your luggage.

Brush Communicator

“No, I said extra anchovies and a side of pomade.”

The Living Daylights – Sofa

The revolving sofa swallows whoever sits in it. This weekend only, free delivery by MI6 commissioned movers with purchase.

Revolving Sofa

“Now, that’s plush.”

The Living Daylights – Ghetto Blaster
A boom box that can fire a rocket. For discriminating audiophiles.

Bond Ghetto Blaster
“My name is cool James, I devastate the show. But I couldn’t survive without my radio!”

Goldeneye – Wheelchair and Leg Cast Missile

The leg cast hid a missile that could be fired from the seated position. The recoil on this must have felt like ? oh, being stuck on the front end of a semi traveling at 50 MPH.

Goldeneye Wheelchair

“Yowza! You replaced your leg with Chuck Norris’s!”

Diamonds Are Forever – Pocket Snap Trap

A trap hidden inside the pocket that would snap on the fingers of someone conducting a search. Also good for killing body lice.

Bond Mouse Trap

“Ah, gawd! I only wanted a cigarette.”

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – Radioactive Lint

The lint is a cleverly disguised homing device so Bond can be located anywhere he may be. This was before we understood cell phone radiation causes brain cancer and kills bees.

Radioactive Lint

“Well, doctor, first I thought it was the Viagra, but now I’m thinking my penis is growing its own penis.”

Diamonds Are Forever – Slot Machine Ring

The ring ensures a jackpot from a slot machine every time. Early retirement?

Bond Ring

“Be honest. It’s going to take more than a fancy ring to loosen up your slots, isn’t it?”

Die Another Day – Surfboard

Has a hidden compartment containing weapons, explosives, and communication equipment. And it floats!

Bond Surfboard

“Oh, damn. I locked the keys in the surfboard again.”

The Spy Who Loved Me – Tea Tray

The tray, when thrown, can decapitate an opponent. For the afternoons when you’re sitting down to tea with your deadliest enemies.

Tea Tray Bond

It’s the hot tea in the face that really hurts.

The Spy Who Loved Me – Seiko Quartz Watch

This watch had a teletype that printed out messages from MI6. Handy for labeling kitchen spices too.

Bond Seiko Watch

Nothing says “Top Secret” like a good paper trail.

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