Written by Kimberly Pruitt

I really like you. I do. You’re so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I don’t really see a relationship in our future. It would be terrible if we let sex destroy this great friendship we have where I get everything I want and you get nothing you want. Don’t you think?

I knew you would understand. You always do.

We’re so perfect as friends, you know? I can tell you anything, and you know you can always come to me anytime you need to hear me bitch about work or how ugly I feel. You wouldn’t want to ruin a friendship like that just so you could be my boyfriend, and have me look at you with desire and longing in my eyes, if only once-would you? Of course not. Well, if we started dating, it would only complicate this wonderful setup I’ve got going here.

It’s just…you’re like my best friend, and I would hate for something you desperately want to change that. I mean, sure, we could go on some dates, maybe mess around a little and finally validate the six years you’ve spent languishing in this platonic nightmare, but then what? How could we ever go back to the way we were, where I take advantage of your clear attraction to me so I can have someone at my beck and call? That part of our friendship means so much to me.

No. We are just destined to be really, really good friends who only hang out when I don’t have a boyfriend, but still need male attention to boost my fragile and all-consuming ego.

Anything can happen once you bring romance in. Think about how awful my last relationship was at the end, remember? The guy I’d call you crying about at 3 a.m. because he wouldn’t answer my texts? The guy I met at the birthday party you threw me? I had insanely passionate sex with him for four months and now we don’t even talk anymore. God, I would die if something like that happened to us.

Plus, ick, can you even imagine getting naked in front of each other? I’ve known you so long, you’re more like a brother that I’ve drunkenly made out with twice and never mentioned again. It’d be way too weird. And if we did, then whenever you’d come shopping with me, or go to one of my performances or charity events, or take me for ice cream when I’ve had a bad day at work, you’d be looking at me like, “I’ve seen her breasts.” God, I can’t think of anything more awkward that that.

Oh, before I forget, my mom says hi.

Anyway, you would totally hate me as your girlfriend. I’d be all needy and dramatic and slowly growing to love you. If I was your girlfriend, I would never be able to tell you all about the other asshole guys I date and pretend I don’t see how much it crushes you. Let’s never lose that. That’s what makes us us.

Don’t worry. You’re so funny and smart and amazing, any girl but me would be lucky to date you. You’ll find someone, I know it. And when you do, I’ll be right by your side to suddenly become all flirty and affectionate with you in front of her, until she grows jealous and won’t believe it when you say we’re just friends. But when she dumps you, that’s just what we’ll be.

Best friends. Friends forever.

Written by sloshspot

It is not common for a television character to mysteriously disappear, never to be heard from again. We’re not talking about characters being written out of shows like 87 cast members from “ER” or even when Jonathan Taylor Thomas left “Home Improvement” to travel abroad. What we are talking about are the mysterious disappearances that are never really referenced again. Additionally there are situations where actors are swapped as if the viewers wouldn’t notice that the character has a different face. The following is a list of some of the more memorable television disappearances by characters or the actors playing them:

Happy Days

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In the first season of happy days the lovable and adorable Ritchie had a brother named Chuck. He wasn’t really a part of the integral cast like the “Fonz” or Ralph Malph, but hey he was definitely there. One episode he went to his room and apparently never came out. Interestingly enough this phenomenon of disappearing cast members has come to be known as “Chuck Cunningham Syndrome”.

Family Matters

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Judy Winslow on “Family Matters” was the adorable little sister who’s departure from this prime time show was never mentioned by its cast. The writers could have at least told us that she got hit by a car, or that she joined a traveling circus, but her mysterious disappearance has always left viewers dumbfounded. This is perhaps exacerbated by the fact that her father (Carl) was a cop, and should have had the resources available to find a missing adolescent. By the way, Jaime Foxworth (Judy) has since went into making adult films under the stage name CRAVE.

Boy Meets World

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“Boy Meets World” is another show with more than one disappearance. Most notable is the not-so-lovable nerd, Minkus. He was an integral part of the first seasons of the show, but once Cory got to high school he simply vanished into thin air. Also disappearing was Morgan who was Cory’s little sister. She left sometime in season 2 and mysteriously reappeared in season 3 played by a different actress. The writers did give her a nod by her saying, “…that’s the longest time out I ever had”. Slow clap, brilliant explanation.

Saved By The Bell

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“Saved by the Bell” might have been one of the worst offenders for this sort of thing. Apparently the turnover rate at Bayside was so fast that they were only able to hang onto students and teachers for several days at a time. But, somehow the same six were the only regulars. Notable is Max from The Max, the gang’s local hang out. Early on he gave advice and performed magic tricks for the kids, but suddenly Max was gone (insert making himself disappear joke). Additionally, Tori Spelling showed up a few times as a nerdy character only to vanish without explanation.

That 70’s Show

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On “That 70’s Show”, you may remember Eric Foreman had a sister named “Laurie” who was originally on the show quite a bit. Eventually she was re-cast with a different actress and slowly lost all of her camera time. This is too bad, because her ditzy character really was Fez’s only chance at getting a dumb girl drunk enough to get laid.

Lost

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In season 3 of “LOST” a character only known as “The Sheriff” is brought onto the show. She is only on one episode, and is never heard from or seen again. LOST is notorious for creating characters out of thin air, but she should at least be given some type of gory death, before excusing her from the show without explanation. Damon Lindeloff, one of the show’s creators was asked about her, he simply said “she died”. Oh okay, thanks.

The Simpsons

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Waylon Smithers on “The Simpsons” hasn’t disappeared, but on the first incantation of the show he appears to be black, or brown, or something – at least not yellow like most of the characters. Who knows why they changed it, maybe the nation just wasn’t ready for a black, closeted homosexual character. But with the recent election proving the US to be more progressive than the world thought, maybe Smithers can un-Michael Jackson himself and go back to his true ROOTS.

Step By Step

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While this examples is one everyone can be thankful for, but whatever happened to Cody on “Step By Step”? One day he was a fun-loving adorable goofy character who was dumber than a brick. Basically he was Joey Lawrence’s character from “Blossom”, but with a flat top. Eventually Sasha Mitchell beat up some girl in real life, and was unceremoniously kicked off the show. The show then replaced him with a campy hairdresser played by Brosnan Pinchot (Balki), for no apparent reason.

Friends

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“Friends” is unashamedly guilty of trying to pull the wool over the viewers eyes. You may remember Giovanni Ribisi as Phoebe’s crazy half-stupid brother – not that far of a stretch really. Well, the crazy thing was that he was on the show a few seasons earlier, and played a weird teenager that left a condom in her guitar case. Wouldn’t she recognize her own brother, I guess not. Also what is Foreman’s mom doing there?

Fresh Prince of Bel Air

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Another move that shows are guilty of is replacing actors without any explanation. “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” had aunt Vivian’s character replaced after only the second season. Apparently the original actress violated her contract by getting pregnant in real life. To whoever she is, “it’s the only paying acting job you’ll probably ever have, and it’s in YOUR CONTRACT. Have the dude slip on a rubber or get on the pill. Whoops, now you’re in the unemployment line. Congrats.” In the end, uncle Phil got the good end of that deal, the old Vivian kind of looked like Scottie Pippen.

Rosanne

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Becky on the white trash sitcom “Rosanne” also went through an interesting switch, which in a way was referred to on the show. The family is sitting around watching “Bewitched” and Rosanne makes a comment about it being crappy when shows change actors. They then zoom out to reveal a new Becky. But wow what an upgrade, the old one was beat up from the feet up, but the new one was at least an 8.5. Later in the series, the old Becky would return for the rest of the show’s run. And when she first appears on-screen, Rosanne simply says, “Where the hell have you been?”

Arrested Development

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It was always a mystery how GOB got Marta. This actress was absolutely beautiful, and many were happy the have this Latin beautyas part of the show. Then all of the sudden, they replace her with two different actresses who were – while not ugly by any means – not as attractive as that first Marta. What did ever happen to her. Cue daydream…

Seinfeld

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It is not commonly known that Jerry Stiller was not the original Frank Costanza. But the episode with the original actor aired only once. Interestingly, the character that played Morty Seinfeld was different in the show’s second episode than from rest of the shows where this character was featured, played by Barney Martin.

Ghostwriter

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Now most will not remember the very forgettable show Ghostwriter on PBS. But they pulled the old actor swap in a very strange way. Gabby’s little sister Alex originally was very pesky and annoying, but as the actress went through a growth spurtthey made her character more mature and a bigger part of the cast. She was then recast with a younger actress at which point the character became the pesky younger sister again. This example is only used as a vehicle for some people to remember this show. If you were poor and didn’t have cable this was the only thing to watch on Sunday afternoons. It was terrible (kids solving crimes with the help of a ghost and a library card), but at least it was better than watching golf.

Back To The Future

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This last one is just plain weird, and proves a suitable end to the list. Eric Stoltz was originally cast for the role of Marty McFly in “Back to The Future”. In fact they shot for several weeks and with Stoltz before deciding that he was miscast. Director Robert Zemeckis finally was able to convince Michael J. Fox into doing the movie, and they worked on the film at nights and during the weekends, because of Fox’s obligations to “Family Ties”. Interestingly, you can see Eric driving the car in a few scenes if you keep your eyes peeled.

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Collected by AcademicInfo

Sometimes college life just… well, fails. Evidence below.

13. Drunk in President’s Office

12. Students (XKCD.com)

11. Failing a Test (CollegeHumor.com)

10. We Are All Doomed (PHDComics.com)

09. Exam: Hard Water (FunnyExam.com)

08. Scandron (XKCD.com)

07. Average Time Spent on Writing E-mail (PHDComics.com)

06. Honest College Ad (CollegeHumor.com)

05. Exam: Wrong Beer Law (FunnyExam.com)

04. POV: Guy Stuck in Class (CollegeHumor.com)

03. Priorities (XKCD.com)

02. Your Life Ambition (PHDComics.com)

01. I Finished College Last Semester… (Failblog.org)

Bonus: The College Graduate. Finished, Proud…Appreciated (not)?

Obesity now become rapid growing in the world,it not only makes our appearances less interesting, but also makes our bodies become vulnerable to disease or illness like hypertension, heart, diabetic and any other decease.

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There is a great new weight loss site called Dean Tornabean’s Look Cut. At Lookcut.com, you will find everything that you need to make your day free from your weight problem. There are plenty articles and also reviews that can enrich your knowledge. There are also products or program reviews that can be your guide whenever you need certain program for losing weight.

These programs are expertly designed to provide you with a well balanced and comprehensive approach to weight loss so that you get results that are fast, effective and lasting. With this site, you are guaranteed to get a healthier and fitter new you so that you are able to protect yourself as well as do more things in life.

Collected by latimes

May 17, 1989

Beijing’s Tiananmen Square is filled with thousands during a pro-democracy rally,

(Sadayuki Mikami / Associated Press)

May 19, 1989

Beijing police parade through Tiananmen Square carrying banners in support of striking university students. The students were in the sixth day of a hunger strike for political reform.

(Sadayuki Mikami / Associated Press)

May 19, 1989

Chinese Communist Party Secretary-General Zhao Ziyang addresses the student hunger strikers through a megaphone at dawn in one of the buses at Tiananmen Square where pro-democracy hunger strikers had been sheltered.

(AFP/Getty Images)

May 21, 1989

An unidentified student demonstrator offers food to People’s Liberation Army troops in Feng Tai near Beijing. The troops’ convoy had been stopped by roadblocks as they were enroute to the Chinese capital.

(Mark Avery / Associated Press)

May 21, 1989

Pro-democracy students lie in front of a tank to prevent troops from entering central Beijing at night. The first full day of martial law closed the Chinese capital, but major clashes between security forces and protesters were reported.

(Associated Press)

May 25, 1989

Student demonstrators, foreground, picket Zhongnanhai, the residence of Communist Party leaders in Beijing as troops guard the entrance. The party compound is near Tiananmen Square.

(Mark Avery / Associated Press)

May 27, 1989

In Tiananmen Square, student leader Wang Dan calls for a citywide march. Wang, a spokesman for the pro-democracy demonstrators in 1989, now lives in the U.S.. “I’m a history student,” he says. “I know democratic movements come in waves.”

(Mark Avery / Associated Press)

May 28, 1989

Students rest in the litter of Tiananmen Square as their strike for government reform enters its third week.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

May 30, 1989

Students in Tiananmen Square work to finish a styrofoam “Goddess of Democracy” modeled on the Statue of Liberty. The statue was nearly 30 feet tall.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

May 31, 1989

People reach for copies of a student newsletter printed in Tiananmen Square.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

June 2, 1989

A woman soldier sings among pro-democracy protesters occupying Tiananmen Square. Police officers and troops would occasionally mix with protesters in an effort to keep the demonstration peaceful. In the early morning hours of June 4, 1989, soldiers overran the square, leaving hundreds dead.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

June 3, 1989

A young woman is caught between civilians and Chinese soldiers, who were trying to remove her from an assembly near the Great Hall of the People. Pro-democracy protesters had been occupying Tiananmen Square for weeks.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

June 3, 1989

An anti-government protester in Beijing holds a rifle in a bus window. Pro-democracy protesters had been occupying Tiananmen Square for weeks; hundreds would die that night and the following morning in clashes with Chinese troops.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

June 3, 1989

A man tries to pull a Chinese soldier away from his fellow troops as thousands of Beijing citizens turn out to block thousands of troops on their way toward Tiananmen Square.

(Mark Avery / Associated Press)

June 4, 1989

A student protester puts barricades in the path of an already burning armored personnel carrier that rammed through student lines during an early morning army attack on anti-government demonstrators in Tiananmen Square.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

June 4, 1989

The driver of an armored personnel carrier that rammed through student lines, injuring many, lies dead after being beaten by students who set his vehicle on fire during the army attack on Tiananmen Square protesters.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

June 4, 1989

Civilians hold rocks as they stand on a government armored vehicle near Changan Boulevard in Beijing. Violence escalated between pro-democracy protesters and Chinese troops, leaving hundreds dead overnight.

June 5, 1989

Chinese troops march down Changan Boulevard, firing indiscriminately to clear the street of citizens as the army faction occupying the center of Beijing prepares for the rumored arrival of opposition troops converging on the capital.

(Associated Press)

June 4, 1989

The bodies of dead civilians lie among mangled bicycles near Beijing’s Tiananmen Square. Tanks and soldiers stormed the area overnight, bringing a violent end to student demonstrations for democratic reform in China.

(Associated Press)

June 5, 1989

An anti-government protester stands in front of tanks in Beijing’s Tiananmen Square in the wake of the crackdown. Chinese supreme leader Deng Xiaoping is believed to have given the final orders for the military suppression of the pro-democracy protests, which claimed hundreds of lives.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

June 5, 1989

A truck drives Chinese soldiers down Changan Boulevard one day after violence between government troops and pro-democracy protesters left hundreds dead.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

June 6, 1989

Soldiers guarding Tiananmen Square hunker down behind barricades while heavy artillery looms in the background under the portrait of Chairman Mao Tse-tung.

(Terril Jones / Associated Press)

June 12, 1989

Street sweepers clean around a burned-out city bus on Changan Boulevard. The bus was burned in the anti-government melee when it was placed by demonstrators as a barricade against advancing troops a week earlier.

(Jeff Widener / Associated Press)

Written by Akela Talamasca

Let’s say you get your hands on a brand new Time Machine. Whether it’s the old-school H.G. Wells chair model, or a tricked-out DeLorean, you’ve now got to decide what you’re going to do with your new toy. But before you run off and start messing up your life, sleeping with your grandmother, and investing in Google stock before the Internet was invented, we’ve got a few ideas for you. Here are 15 moments in time, both past and future, that you may want to just witness before you go and do what you’re inevitably going to do, and ruin everyone’s universe.

The Trinity Test (Past)

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If you want to see one of the most awe-inspiring events in human history, then you need to set your time machine for 5:29 AM, July 16th 1945 at Alamogordo, New Mexico. The Trinity test was the very first successful detonation of a nuclear bomb, with a blast the size of 20,000 tons of TNT. Make sure you pack some Ray-Bans, and apply plenty of sunscreen for this one.

The Roswell Crash (Past)

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Whether it was a UFO or a weather balloon, it’s time we found out just what went down around Roswell, New Mexico on the night of July 2nd, 1947. Just to be sure, camp out for a couple of days before hand, and try to find a spot somewhere on Foster Ranch, outside a little town called Corona, near Roswell. Remember your cameras and flashlights, and a first-aid kit may not be a terrible idea either.

Birth of the First True Artificial Intelligence (Future)

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In the movies the first A.I. always turns out to be a total asshole. It nearly always either tries to murder someone, or take over the world, or cause general mayhem while it plots to take over the world or murder someone. This is all Hollywood, so you’ll have to check out just how it pans out when the very first true artificial intelligence wakes up and says hello. Remember, there is still the chance that Hollywood was right all along, so take a really big electromagnet with you just in case.

The First Modern Olympic Games (Past)

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In 1896 Athens, Greece hosted the world’s first international Olympic Games. This was a huge event, with crazy steam-powered boats and new-fangled “locomotives” moving people around. It must have been a sight to see this collection of athletes from around the world all in one place, you know that had to be one hell of a party.

Signing of the Declaration of Independence (Past)

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Even non-Americans want to witness this event in human history. The sheer immense gravity of the situation makes it stand out amongst anything else that any other group of men ever did with pen and parchment.

Mankind Attains Faster Than Light Travel (Future)

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Let’s face it, ever since you were a kid and you saw Star Wars for the first time, you wanted to fly through space at light speed. You especially wanted to do it with Chewbacca at your side but we’re trying to be realistic here. Now if the whole “breaking the laws of physics” thing bothers you, well, you’re in a freaking time machine.

The Fall of Rome (Past)

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Granted, it may be a good idea to show up a few years early on this one so you can enjoy Rome while it’s not burning, but we’re going for the excitement here, right? You’ve got all the time in the world (literally) to hang out and live the good life with girls feeding you grapes while you bathe in wine; we want to see the barbarian hordes!

Battle of Thermopylae (Past)

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You should note before going to see this horrifyingly spectacular display of bad-assery that, historically speaking, it was nothing like the movie 300. In fact, it may have been slightly more awesome, even though King Leonidas may not have had such a massively out-of-place (but still cool) accent. Xerxes was probably taller and the elephants were probably twice as big.

First Contact With an Alien Species (Future)

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Yes, this could easily go badly for us humans, but it’s something you simply cannot miss. You have a time machine, and that means you have a duty to witness certain things that just too far beyond you for there to be any objection. Do humanity a favor though; if you’re going to watch this one happen, take a flame-thrower with you, and if things get out of hand, just ask yourself “what would Ripley do?”

Helen of Troy (Past)

Source 1, Source 2

This is one of those things that simply demands explanation. Was she hot…and by that, I mean was she “sending a country to war hot”? Unfortunately, there is just unbiased record of what this woman looked like. For all intents and purposes, the guy who wrote that story could have had a thing for women like Renee Zellweger… So this is definitely should be on self-respecting male’s pretend, time machine to-do list. Bonus: you also get to see for yourself just how many heroes, gods, and demigods showed up for the fight. Take lots of film.

The Discovery of Beer (Past)

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Anthropologists suggest that without the advent of beer, man may never have banded together and settled down on farms like we did. That means we owe a great deal, pretty much everything, to beer. In honor of this, you should make it a point to go back and see the first pint, bow down to it, salute it, do what you will to it. And if you can, drink some of it. Beer is good, remember.

Mankind’s First Interstellar War (Future)

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Nobody wants a war, we all want peace, violence is horrible. That being said, since we can’t really deny the inevitability of mankind having a first interstellar war, we may as well own up to the fact that we all want to see how it starts. More than likely, it will just be man vs. man, with colonies in space fighting each other. That’s still loads of awesome, so make sure you stash your time machine some place safe and settle in for the show. And by safe, I mean one of the Dakotas (there’s nothing there, anyways).

Man’s Discovery of Fire (Past)

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This is arguably the single greatest turning point in the advancement of humanity. Before this point, we were apes. Afterwards, we were apes who could barbeque, things such as animals and other apes. Going back to this time would probably lead to some pretty crazy parties, and even though the language barrier may get in the way (unless you speak ‘grunt’), you’ll be the most handsome guy there. Steve Buscemi doppelgangers excluded.

The Comet that Killed the Dinosaurs (Past)

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Alright, now this one’s tricky. We’re talking about an explosive impact so ridiculously huge, that it killed nearly everything on Earth. You’re going to have to camp out a bit, and keep the binoculars handy to watch for the comet; when this goes down, you had better get some really good pictures, hopefully video, and then hop back in your time machine and out of there as quickly as possible. None of this adventuring means anything if you’re wiped out with the dinos.

Cubs Win the World Series (Future)

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We can at least be hopeful, can’t we?

Don’t Forget This

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This handy guide will keep you taken-care of in the unfortunate event that you get stranded in time, assuming it’s the past. If you get stranded in the future, then just make a fortune going on talk shows and starring in movies. Since you’ll be so out-dated, you can pull of vintage-chic pretty well, and if that fails there’s always politics.