I DID THE THING.

So I was returning to Connecitcut after spending a week in North Carolina with family for Thanksgiving. Had a great time, got some long-overdue business done, had my first deep-fried turkey. Muy Delicioso.

Despite my best efforts, I was a bit tired from ten hours on the road. Knowing a lovely female friend in New York, I gave her a call and asked if I could crash on her couch for the night. She said yes, so I kicked my 6?7? ?I?m?p?a?l?a? 04 Accord into gear and rolled forward.

When I got there, she gives me a big hug and welcomes me in with a beer and asks what movie I want to watch. Return of the King, of course.

So I go kick off my boots, hang up my jacket and otherwise make myself comfortable. She’s not in the living room, so I go into her room and there’s a distinct lack of pants. “It’s a Queen, there’s plenty of room.”

It’s about now that I should inform you that, at the age of 23, I’ve never been with a woman. She goes to find the DVD, I immediately polish off the beer. Nervous? Hardly. Except very.

Being better at jokes than being suave, I tell her “I’ll join you in the de-pants-ing.” She laughs. Clearly I’m a genius. We get into bed, she tucks in under my arm (a first) and we start watching the movie.

Cuddles are great, people, seriously. It’s lovely to have somebody’s warmth against you, holding your hand and the smell of her shampoo against your nose. I probably enjoyed it way too much.

She starts nuzzling up against me and generally getting a little flirty with her legs, hands. I’m so nervous that I can’t take my eyes off of her.

Suddenly, a little voice in the back of my head starts barking. “You know what? Go for it. She’ll tell you no if she’s not interested. Take it slow, it’s her hand on your thigh, not the other way around.”

So we start getting a little heated. She’s into it too! She just put the laptop on the floor, oh my goodness this is happening!