Written by regretfulmorning

I get shit on quite a bit by female readers (usually via email) calling me a sexist pig and what not for the “fat chick” and “dirty whore” jokes I make.  While they are mostly right, I need to point out that I love chubby girls. Yes you, chick who said I show nothing but “plastic bitches” on this site, I’m talking to you.

The reason “men’s entertainment” sites don’t show hefty women anymore, is because they aren’t in demand.Supply and demand. This site is 72% men, and in almost 3 years I’ve only had a handful of people make comments about liking ‘the chubbies.’   RM readers demand hot sluts with big tits, and I supply them.

Today however, I’m going to make my case for the larger ladies.  Yes you in the back row who can finish a Porterhouse steak, and clear a motherfucking swimming pool when you cannon ball, I got your back (or a fraction of it at least lol).

Not Afraid To Eat

It’s boring when you sit down at a nice restaurant and your date orders a garden salad.  Yea it’s cheaper, but if we weren’t ready to pay for a Filet Mignon, we wouldn’t have asked to take you out.  A big girl is likely to clean her plate (and yours) and have enough room for dessert.  Eating alone is no fun.

Less Likely To Be Conceited

Super hot girls who get hit on constantly, are stuck up beyond belief.  Comments like “Hey I like your hair today” get laughed at and grazed over.  They’ve also got entire cell phone full of guys who want to bang them.  That means, even if you do end up dating her, she’s liable to be getting drilled by 2 or 3 other fleshrockets at the same time.

Will Give You A BJ That You Won’t Ever Forget

Every single guy who read this and experienced it is smiling right now.  I asked my dad a few years ago “Hey dad, why do fat girls give better head?”  This is when he told me that they will work a lot harder to keep their man.   A model can get whoever she wants, so why perfect the art?  My dad is smart, so we’re going to use this as an acceptable answer.

More Durable

Do you ever like to wrestle around with your girl?  Maybe throw her in an armbar or choke hold while you’re watching a UFC event on TV?  Damn right you do, it’s fun.  Kinda like body slamming a little brother into the couch cushions when your parents weren’t looking.  Anyway, I have found that girls with a little bit of weight on them, can dish it out and take it too.  Sure they might be out of breath after 30 seconds of grappling, but at least they won’t cry about you messing up their hair.

Will Keep You In Shape

I don’t even know how to explain this next part without getting graphic.  You know how when you go down on a girl, sometimes you put your hands under her butt cheeks to lift her towards you?  Well, try doing that with a girl who weighs over a buck ninety.  It’s hard.  And if you look at your biceps while doing so, you’ll see that they’re getting all pumped up.  Are we on the same page yet?  A meal and a workout all in one.

Warmer When It’s Cold Out

It’s the winter time right now, and winter sucks balls.  Nights are long, unpleasant and nippy. You can remedy this with a girl that has a few rolls.  Let’s say your arm is cold:  Simply snuggle up behind her (spooning style) and slip your arm in between her chub folds.  Instant body heat.

Conclusion: Haters gonna hate, but I’m not one of them, and you shouldn’t be either.  I am also a firm believer in “Don’t knock it till ya try it.”  So gentlemen, next time you feel like shunning a girl at the bar because she weighs more than you will ever be able to benchpress, think back to this article and keep an open mind.

My beautiful girlfriend has just passed away, this was the last gift I gave her, and I want the world to see just how amazing she was.

Written by Stacy Johnson

Huffington Post recently put up a story called You’re Out: 20 Things That Became Obsolete This Decade. It’s a great retrospective on the technology leaps we’ve made since the new century began, and it got me thinking about the difference today’s technology will make in the lives of tomorrow’s kids.

I’ve used some of their ideas and added some of my own to make the list below: Do you think kids born in 2011 will recognize any of the following?

Video tape: Starting this year, the news stories we produce here at Money Talks have all been shot, edited, and distributed to TV stations without ever being on any kind of tape. Not only that, the tape-less broadcast camera we use today offers much higher quality than anything that could have been imagined 10 years ago — and cost less than the lens on the camera we were using previously.

Travel agents: While not dead today, this profession is one of many that’s been decimated by the Internet. When it’s time for their honeymoon, will those born in 2011 be able to find one?

The separation of work and home: When you’re carrying an email-equipped computer in your pocket, it’s not just your friends who can find you — so can your boss. For kids born this year, the wall between office and home will be blurry indeed.

Books, magazines, and newspapers: Like video tape, words written on dead trees are on their way out. Sure, there may be books — but for those born today, stores that exist solely to sell them will be as numerous as record stores are now.

Movie rental stores: You actually got in your car and drove someplace just to rent a movie?

Watches: Maybe as quaint jewelry, but the correct time is on your smartphone, which is pretty much always in your hand.

©Will D/flickr

Paper maps: At one time these were available free at every gas station. They’re practically obsolete today, and the next generation will probably have to visit a museum to find one.

Wired phones: Why would you pay $35 every month to have a phone that plugs into a wall? For those born today, this will be a silly concept.

Long distance: Thanks to the Internet, the days of paying more to talk to somebody in the next city, state, or even country are limited.

Newspaper classifieds: The days are gone when you have to buy a bunch of newsprint just to see what’s for sale.

Dial-up Internet: While not everyone is on broadband, it won’t be long before dial-up Internet goes the way of the plug-in phone.

Encyclopedias: Imagine a time when you had to buy expensive books that were outdated before the ink was dry. This will be a nonsense term for babies born today.

Forgotten friends: Remember when an old friend would bring up someone you went to high school with, and you’d say, “Oh yeah, I forgot about them!” The next generation will automatically be in touch with everyone they’ve ever known even slightly via Facebook.

Forgotten anything else: Kids born this year will never know what it was like to stand in a bar and incessantly argue the unknowable. Today the world’s collective knowledge is on the computer in your pocket or purse. And since you have it with you at all times, why bother remembering anything?

The evening news: The news is on 24/7. And if you’re not home to watch it, that’s OK — it’s on the smartphone in your pocket.

CDs: First records, then 8-track, then cassette, then CDs — replacing your music collection used to be an expensive pastime. Now it’s cheap(er) and as close as the nearest Internet connection.

Film cameras: For the purist, perhaps, but for kids born today, the word “film” will mean nothing. In fact, even digital cameras — both video and still — are in danger of extinction as our pocket computers take over that function too.

Yellow and White Pages: Why in the world would you need a 10-pound book just to find someone?

Catalogs: There’s no need to send me a book in the mail when I can see everything you have for sale anywhere, anytime. If you want to remind me to look at it, send me an email.

Fax machines: Can you say “scan,” “.pdf” and “email?”

One picture to a frame: Such a waste of wall/counter/desk space to have a separate frame around each picture. Eight gigabytes of pictures and/or video in a digital frame encompassing every person you’ve ever met and everything you’ve ever done — now, that’s efficient. Especially compared to what we used to do: put our friends and relatives together in a room and force them to watch what we called a “slide show” or “home movies.”

Wires: Wires connecting phones to walls? Wires connecting computers, TVs, stereos, and other electronics to each other? Wires connecting computers to the Internet? To kids born in 2011, that will make as much sense as an electric car trailing an extension cord.

Hand-written letters: For that matter, hand-written anything. When was the last time you wrote cursive? In fact, do you even know what the word “cursive” means? Kids born in 2011 won’t — but they’ll put you to shame on a tiny keyboard.

Talking to one person at a time: Remember when it was rude to be with one person while talking to another on the phone? Kids born today will just assume that you’re supposed to use texting to maintain contact with five or six other people while pretending to pay attention to the person you happen to be physically next to.

Retirement plans: Yes, Johnny, there was a time when all you had to do was work at the same place for 20 years and they’d send you a check every month for as long as you lived. In fact, some companies would even pay your medical bills, too!

Mail: What’s left when you take the mail you receive today, then subtract the bills you could be paying online, the checks you could be having direct-deposited, and the junk mail you could be receiving as junk email? Answer: A bloated bureaucracy that loses billions of taxpayer dollars annually.

Commercials on TV: They’re terrifically expensive, easily avoided with DVRs, and inefficiently target mass audiences. Unless somebody comes up with a way to force you to watch them — as with video on the Internet — who’s going to pay for them?

Commercial music radio: Smartphones with music-streaming programs like Pandoraare a better solution that doesn’t include ads screaming between every song.

Hiding: Not long ago, if you didn’t answer your home phone, that was that — nobody knew if you were alive or dead, much less where you might be. Now your phone is not only in your pocket, it can potentially tell everyone — including advertisers — exactly where you are.

___

Bonus:I am not buying my dishes from the dollar store anymore!

Written by CNBC.com

photo: Yutaka Tsutano

As the nation digs out from one of the worst financial crises in history, guess what is the No. 1 financial New Year’s resolution?

If you answered, “Get out of debt” — DING! DING! DING! — you are correct.

In a survey of more than 3,000 people, the National Foundation for Credit Counseling reported that nearly 70% said getting out of debt was their No. 1 financial resolution for 2011.

But let’s be honest with ourselves: We may go to the gym a few times, nobly order a salad for lunch and jot down “Check 401(k)” on a post-it note, but before the confetti’s even settled, we’re back with a bucket of chicken in one hand and the remote in the other, watching a marathon of “Ice Road Truckers” and buying bigger pants online, promising ourselves this is a one-time event because we’re working hard in the new year and dangit, we deserve it!

You want to make 2011 the year you stick to your resolutions? There’s an app for that. Several, actually, that will help motivate you, hold you accountable and show you the results — all the things behavioral experts say you’re going to need to make a real change. Check out these 10 apps for keeping your financial resolutions.

1. Mint.com (Free)

First and foremost, you need an all-in-one program like Mint.com that allows you to track your budget, your bills, your investments and your bank account no matter where you are. So no more saying, “I don’t know if I can afford that because I haven’t been home all week to check my finances!” It’s laid out in an easy-to-read format: You can see how much of your monthly budget you’ve already spent, your income vs. expenses for the month and the current value of your investments. It even links to Zillow to show you the current value of your home. It’s available for the iPhone and Android phones and has a security feature in case you lose your phone.

2. BillMinder ($0.99)

Juggling all of your bills and their multitude of due dates is no small task. It’s way too easy to miss a due date and wind up having to fork over a late fee. BillMinder is an easy way to organize, with a list of all your bills, the ability to check them off as they’re paid and a master to show when all are paid. Plus, a calendar view to show you your due dates. It’s available for iPhone, iPad, Android and BlackBerry.

3. Indeed.com (Free)

With so many people still unemployed, we’re adding a job-search site to our list of essential financial apps. Now, there are no more excuses for why you’re not looking for a job, or why you’re not looking for a higher-paying job! Having a job-search site on your mobile device, you can search for jobs from anywhere, whether you’re waiting to meet a friend for dinner or sitting with the kids on the couch. The Indeed app lets you search for any job anywhere, remembers your recent searches and shows you how many jobs have been added since your last visit. Available for the iPhone, iPad and Android.

4. SaveBenjis ($2.99)

Some of our parents were famous for driving around from store to store to find the cheapest price around for groceries and other items. But who has time to shop around these days? You do, if you’re smart and use your iPhone, not your car, for price comparison. SaveBenjis (You see, that’s funny because Benjamin Franklin’s picture is on the $100 bill.) is an easy to use app that lets you type in the product name and it will return stores (retail and online) where it’s available and the price at each spot. Plus, you can use the built-in barcode scanner to spare your precious fingers the typing time! It’s available for the iPhone.

5. Grocery Gadget ($4.99)

Speaking of groceries, there’s a lot of money to be saved right there if you’re organized, know what you want and don’t wander around the store aimlessly tossing things in your cart. Even if you make a list, you sometimes forget it. But not if your list is on your smartphone. Grocery Gadget allows you to quickly make a list, upload and share your list, manage recipes, search for e-coupons and check things off your list as you go. Plus, it also utilizes the built-in barcode scanner. And, it automatically syncs with every mobile device in your house, so you never miss a beat — or an ingredient! Available for the iPhone, iPad, Android, BlackBerry and Nokia phones.

6. Coupon Sherpa (Free)

First of all, anything with the name Sherpa in it is adorable — am I right? But more importantly, this cute-as-a-button app will save you money on the fly. You can search for mobile coupons by category (jewelry, restaurants, etc.) or store, find the nearest store location or save the coupon to your favorites to cash in later. At the register, just have the cashier scan the barcode on your screen and cha-ching! Savings. Plus, a bonus: No more crumpled up — and probably expired — coupons in the cup holder of your car. Available for the iPhone.

7. Buzzillions (Free)

What’s better: Plasma, LCD or LED? Is this a good brand? Save yourself the heartache — or should we say wallet ache — of a bad purchase by downloading an app like buzzillions, which offers millions of customer reviews at your fingertips. It’s pretty much a search engine for customer reviews. You type in the product and it will turn up a list of reviews, each with a rating out of five stars, five being best. Available on the iPhone, Android, Windows and Palm phones, plus the BlackBerry.

8. CraigsPro ($0.99)

OK, you’re managing your money, you’re saving money, now guess what else you need to do? Make MORE money. A site like Craigslist helps you find used items at a discount and sell items you’re not using anymore. With CraigsPro, now you can have that gigantic yard sale at your fingertips anytime, anywhere — and you can search multiple cities at a time. Say, when you’re rummaging around the attic, thinking “Huh, I should sell this and make some money,” you can look up similar items and find out how much you can make — and if you’re ready, part with it! Available for iPhone, BlackBerry and Android phones.

9. ATM Hunter (Free)

Stop wasting money on ATM fees. This free app from MasterCard allows you to search for nearby ATMs so, unless it’s an emergency, there will never be a reason to not go to your bank — and save the fees — again! Available for the iPhone.

10. Gas Buddy ($2.99)

With gas prices heading towards $4 a gallon just as many of us are getting our financial footing, finding the cheapest gas around is more important than ever. With the Gas Buddy app, all you have to do is plug in your city or zip code and it turns up a list of gas prices in the area, starting with the cheapest. You can add additional search criteria like fuel type and distance to the station. If you click on a station, it will not only call up the prices for each type of fuel, but also a picture of the station and detailed information like is there a convenience store, ATM, are they open 24 hours, etc. Plus, you can upload your own photo, report prices and show the location on a map. For the iPhone, Android and BlackBerry.

Bonus: Dog stole my sledge.