Written by 11points
Yesterday, I found myself in a discussion about the anti-abortion people. The reason: It’s just incomprehensible to us that people get so zealous about that issue that they’ll go as far as to murder doctors who perform abortions and bomb abortion clinics.
The conversation then took its natural turn to selective, self-serving interpretations of the Bible… finding a few verses that you can use to justify a position that lets you impose your morality on someone, and riding those verses hard and fast for the rest of your life.
So I thought it’d be a good time to find a bunch of stuff that the Bible bans… stuff that’s a lot LESS convenient. Don’t worry, though… just because I’m pointing it out, that doesn’t mean you now have to follow it. It’s a lot easier to keep discriminating against gay people for no particular reason than to stop eating bacon, after all.
Here are 11 things that are technically banned by the Bible. (All quotes are translations from the New American Standard Bible, but, because I’m actually trying to maintain serious journalistic integrity here, I cross-referenced several other translations to make sure I wasn’t missing the point.)
- Round haircuts. See you in Hell, Beatles… and/or kids with bowl cuts, surfer cuts or (my favorite) butt cuts. Leviticus 19:27 reads “You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.”
- Football. At least, the pure version of football, where you play with a pigskin. The modern synthetic footballs are ugly and slippery anyways. Leviticus 11:8, which is discussing pigs, reads “You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you.”
And you’re doubly breaking that if you wake up, eat some sausage then go throw around the football. Or go to the county fair and enter a greased pig catching contest. - Fortune telling. Before you call a 900 number (do people still call 900 numbers, by the way?), read your horoscope or crack open a fortune cookie, realize you’re in huge trouble if you do.
Leviticus 19:31 reads “Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God.” The penalty for that? Check Leviticus 20:6: “As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people.”
Seems like a lifetime of exile is a pretty harsh penalty for talking to Zoltar. - Pulling out. The Bible doesn’t get too much into birth control… it’s clearly pro-populating but, back when it was written, no one really anticipated the condom or the sponge, so those don’t get specific bans.
But… pulling out does. One of the most famous sexual-oriented Bible verses… the one that’s used as anti-masturbation rhetoric… is actually anti-pulling out.
It’s Genesis 38:9-10: “Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also.”
Yep — pull out and get smote. That’s harsh. - Tattoos. No tattoos. Leviticus 19:28 reads, “You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord.”
Not even a little butterfly on your ankle. Or Thug Life across your abdomen. Or even, fittingly enough, a cross. - Polyester, or any other fabric blends. The Bible doesn’t want you to wear polyester. Not just because it looks cheap. It’s sinfully unnatural.
Leviticus 19:19 reads, “You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.”
Check the tag on your shirt right now. Didn’t realize you were mid-sin at this exact second, did you? (Unless you checked the tag by rolling off your neighbor’s wife while you two were having anal sex in the middle of robbing a blind guy. Then your Lycra-spandex blend is really the least of your problems.) - Divorce. The Bible is very clear on this one: No divorcing. You can’t do it. Because when you marry someone, according to Mark 10:8, you “are no longer two, but one flesh.” And, Mark 10:9 reads, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Mark gets even more hardcore about it a few verses later, in Mark 10:11-12, “And He said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.’” - Letting people without testicles into church. Whether you’ve been castrated or lost one or two balls to cancer isn’t important. The Bible doesn’t get that specific. It just says you can’t pray.
Deuteronomy 23:1 reads (this is the God’s Word translation, which spells it out better), “A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord.”
Oh, and the next verse says that if you’re a bastard, the child of a bastard… or even have a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchild of a bastard, you can’t come to church or synagogue either. Deuteronomy 23:2 reads, “No one of illegitimate birth shall enter the assembly of the Lord; none of his descendants, even to the tenth generation, shall enter the assembly of the Lord.” - Wearing gold. 1 Timothy 2:9 doesn’t like your gold necklace at all. Or your pearl necklace. Or any clothes you’re wearing that you didn’t get from Forever 21, Old Navy or H&M.
“Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.” - Shellfish. Leviticus 11:10 reads, “But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you.” And shellfish is right in that wheelhouse.
Leviticus 11 bans a TON of animals from being eaten (it’s THE basis for Kosher law); beyond shellfish and pig, it also says you can’t eat camel, rock badger, rabbit, eagle, vulture, buzzard, falcon, raven, crow, ostrich, owl, seagull, hawk, pelican, stork, heron, bat, winged insects that walk on four legs unless they have joints to jump with like grasshoppers (?), bear, mole, mouse, lizard, gecko, crocodile, chameleon and snail.
Sorry if that totally ruins your plans to go to a rock badger eat-off this weekend. - Your wife defending your life in a fight by grabbing your attacker’s genitals. No joke. Deuteronomy actually devotes two verses to this exact scenario: Deuteronomy 25:11-12.
“If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.”
That’s impossible to misinterpret. Ladies, if your husband is getting mugged, make sure to kick the mugger in the pills. Do not do the grip and squeeze (no matter what “Miss Congeniality” might advise). Or your hand needs to be cut off.
As a final note, I know that nine of these 11 cite the Old Testament, which Christianity doesn’t necessarily adhere to as law.
To which I say: If you’re going to ignore the section of Leviticus that bans about tattoos, pork, shellfish, round haircuts, polyester and football, how can you possibly turn around and quote Leviticus 18:22 (“You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”) as irrefutable law?
But that’s me trying to introduce logic to religious fanaticism (or, at least, trying to counter some mix of ignorance, bigotry and narcissism with logic). And I should probably know better.
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I loved your article. I am a born again Christian with a very strong faith, but a lot of the things my “fellow Christians” do, say and profess are beyond me. Some times it becomes very tough to be a Christian and interpret the Bible, though I really do try, but at those times I give it up to God and move on.
I don’t know any fellow Christians who would kill an abortionist or bomb a building so like all groups we are tarred by the same brush as the fanatics.
Again, thanks for the article, I got a good giggle out of it.
Yep. Pull out and get smote. That’s harsh! ROFLMFAO
Alot of these come from the Old testament. With the death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, a new covenant was established that did away with many old testament regulations. STUDY.
I agree, you need to study more. Like Dchama said, some of the old testament is still alive, but you just need to open your eyes and read the Bible to know. You can just go off one scripture and know what it means. nice try though, good luck with your studying.
Lets all remember that the bible was used by a bunch of assholes to control people for hundreds of years so I don’t suggest beliving everything you read unless you want to be as smart as those dumb ass people who don’t belive in evolution.
Dchama and Greiner have it right.
God is both omnipotent and omniscient. He set up a system in the garden where Adam and Eve could remain in paradise if they would only avoid the fruit of one tree.
God could have set it up any number of ways, but chose this one, knowing that Adam and Eve would fail.
Then he threw them out of the garden, where they had kids and eventually their descendants covered the earth. Some of them were sinful. God could’ve handled this any number of ways, but he decided to flood the earth and save only Noah’s family (he knew this was going to happen long before the creation). He then made a “covenant” with Noah and promised he would never again destroy the earth with a flood.
Humanity got ambitious again, and tried to build a tower that would reach to heaven. God stopped construction by giving everyone a different language. (He could’ve done this back in Eden, but chose not to.)
Then God gave his chosen people an elaborate system of sacrifices that he knew ahead of time wouldn’t work. If you sinned, you gave up a dove, a goat, or whatever. This was very troublesome.
A few thousand years later, God appeared on earth to become the perfect sacrifice for sin. (The fact that Jesus was acutally a 3-part God wasn’t figured out until around the year 400 A.D.) This is known as the New Covenant. It’s how God wiped out all of the earlier false starts and defective covenants that he already knew weren’t going to work. God could have revealed to Adam and Eve that he was a “Trinity” – 3 in 1 and 1 in 3 – but he chose not to do so, since this would later be one of the things that distinguishes Jews from Christians.
Like Dchama says above, this event wiped out most (but not all) of the Old Testament regulations. The Old Testament regulations that remain relevant are the ones that we like. The others are obviously irrelevant.
Understand???
The reason that some parts of the Old Testament law no longer apply to man is that God deals with man differently now than He did then. God changed how He deals with man by sending His son, Jesus Christ, to earth. This is noted in Romans 6:14, which reads:
For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.
Conversely, the reason some Old Testament law still applies is that God said it does, through Jesus and the men who recorded the New Testament. There are many verses in the New Testament condemning homosexual behavior, for example, and they provide the link back to parts of Old Testament law.
Interesting, I agree that more consistency is needed from the faithful when interpreting scripture. Leviticus was specifically rebuking practises of the pagans who worshipped Moloch, and not general commandments to be read out of context, for example a man lying with another man was from a ritual where two pagan priests would reenact sex acts between Moloch and Astarte and hence the commandment is not a rebuking of homosexuality. Unfortunately, instructions on homosexual acts (acts not state of mind) being sinful are repeated in less gender specific and more general terms in a few other places.
“Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law” ~ Galatians 3:13
OK, so your god changes his mind about how things should be done every 400 years or so (give or take a couple of centuries) and you have to re-interpret what he meant? … or does it work the other way around? Sounds like a democracy to me … where people mindlessly follow whatever the majority agree on – complete with its set of in-fights about how to interpret what and what is constitutional and what isn’t.
Your god was created in your image and not the other way around.
JAYX, why would we create a God with such controversial things as sending people to hell, condemning the practice of homosexuality (Romans Chapter 1), teaching that the first shall be last, and teachings that no one can earn heaven?
We didn’t create the God of the Bible, nor did anyone in history. It doesn’t make sense to create Him like that. Why create a God that demands total surrender of your life (Luke 9:23)? A made up religion would allow you to do what ever you wanted, when ever you wanted, to whom ever you wanted. It’s a good thought, but I encourage you to keep looking. Christianity cannot be so easily debunked.
As for the arguement that Leviticus 18:22 shouldn’t stand as an example of the Bible condemning homosexuality we see the same text in Romans Chapter 1. Although the kosher laws were overturned in Acts, the rules against homosexuality weren’t. Please don’t look at this as the Bible ‘hating’ on homosexuals. The says we have all fallen short. Lying, adultery with the mind, hating our brother, and denial of God are all equally condemned alongside homosexuality. All are guilty and all need a Savior.
Oh great; this is all we need is more fuel for the Christians.
Haha rounded off haircuts, I almost want to make a few posters with these on there and just put them up all around town.
Ben,
Why doesn’t it make sense to create him in our own image? Use logic, not religions.
Why send people to hell in religions? It’s essential that a punishment exist in a religion. Otherwise, all the rules that exist in religions are pointless. No one would follow any rules given to them if there’s no punishments/rewards given to them. Accept it, no one in this world is truly an altruist.
To condemn practice of homosexuality? Because the society doesn’t accept homosexuality back then. It’s that simple. If the society accepted homosexuality back then, no one would accept the Christianity, because it is conflicting with their current belief.
No one can earn heaven? Where did you get this? I’ve been trying to believe and Christianity for ages. I’ve been to churches, catholic schools, and I still don’t know how to believe. One thing I know from my walk with “God”, if you repent, you go to heaven. Heaven is a type of “reward”. It’s where you’ll be able to get “salvation”, whatever that is.
Why create a God that demands total surrender of your life? How do you think cult works? Ever heard of “The Peoples Temple” ? Try google-ing the term. They “surrendered” their lives for their God. Why people create a God who demands total surrender of their lives? To see how far people are willing to go in search of God?
No, a made up religion would not let you do whatever you wanted. No religions would allow you to think for yourself. What you’re referring to, is “Freethought” or “Freethinkers”. These people believe what they want to believe, do whatever they want, whenever they want.
“All are guilty and all need a savior”
“Cult religion traffics in guilt and shame”
See the irony?
So, here I ask, what’s the difference between Christianity and other Cults?
I forgot to post the url for the quotes above. That’s probably why you didn’t see the irony… =)
http://www.namb.net/site/c.9qKILUOzEpH/b.695725/k.AA1F/Ten_Marks_of_a_Cult_Religion.htm
Point No. 3
Another question that boggles my mind. How do we know that Jesus wasn’t another “Jim Jones” or “David Koresh” ?
The original article is funny and well-written. I’m a Christian, but I am wary of “legalistic” Christians who pick and choose which Old Testament laws to follow in order to condemn others.
That being said, the comments here are a bit silly.
God doesn’t “send” people to hell. When you die, your soul stays in the same state it was in when you died. You enter eternity- non linear space time, and if you are in a state of oneness with God when you die, you remain so. It’s a universal law. Those who love God will continue to love God. Those who hate God won’t. God and hatred cannot exist together, because, as St. John puts it, “God is love”. YOU choose whether to love God or hate God.
The legal system of the ancient Israelites is in the Bible (a collection of many different books written at different times and places), as well as history, poetry and prophecy.
The old testament laws were written for nomadic people living in a desert thousands of years ago. Unlike the surrounding peoples, who practiced human sacrifice and had unjust laws, the Israelites had just laws. They established legal practices, such as having eye witnesses. A person couldn’t be condemned without 2 or more eyewitnesses (unlike the American legal system, which convicts people due to circumstantial evidence or hearsay evidence!).
Under such circumstances, certain foods which were unhealthy in those circumstances were prohibited, and practices of the surrounding people- like tattoos- were prohibited. This was for health reasons, as well as keeping people culturally unified.
The MORAL laws have NOT changed. “Love your neighbor as yourself.” “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (If only we would follow these laws!)
The early Christians were all Jews, and followed all of the Jewish laws, including kosher food, the Sabbath, etc. When more and more gentiles came to the faith, it was decided for practical purposes to let the pork-eating, tattoo-wearing, beardless, shaggy haired gentiles keep the Jewish moral laws, and not be burdened with the Jewish customs.
God didn’t CHANGE his mind, He merely allowed the gentiles to come to a greater truth without having to change their eating habits. So eat a ham sandwich if you like!
The idea of God having different aspects, or being triune, is a concept found in Jewish mysticism. This is probably why St. Paul (Sha’ul, a Jewish Pharisee) would have had not trouble embracing it.
Sorry, but the author is naive. He fails to distinguish ceremonial laws from moral laws. Ceremonial laws have indeed changed. Moral laws are unchanging. It is also naive to consider Church teaching only in the light of scripture. To do so is to fall into the Protestant fallacy of “sola scriptura.” Catholic teaching on homosexuality is subtle and stands on several legs, only one of which is the scriptures. See the following for more info: http://www.catholic.com/library/Homosexuality.asp.
Text, without context, is pretext. While your article is amusing and thought provoking…it is far from the truth.
I knew the moment that I read this blog, there would be this reaction. The moment you start talking about religion, people get all worked up about the fact that someone doesn’t think the same…
The Jews and the Muslims still try to uphold the law of he Old Testament. The Christians don’t hold onto the law of the Old Testament because of the New Testament and the teachings of Jesus. The Jews and Muslims don’t accept the New Testament or the teachings of Jesus. So why knock the Christians.
People puh-leez, Jesus says:
For truly I say to you, Till heaven and earth pass, one stroke or one pronunciation mark shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Matthew 5:18
But it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one stroke of a letter of the Law to fail. Luke 16:17
How do you go around picking and choosing which parts of this ramshackle anthology do you want to follow, if not all then which, if not all then why not none?
I thought this article was hilarious! When I was translating the Bible into rhyme, I was thinking the same things. How can anyone pick and choose which pieces of the Bible they want to follow and which they’re going to ignore?!
I invite you to download The Bible in Rhyme in PDF free on my website (www.thebibleinrhyme.com). It’s been an amazing exercise in furthering my understanding of God’s word and will for me, and sharing it with nominally and non-religious people, as well as deeply committed Christians.
Damn, are people stupid or what..
Jesus said
Mat 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
fulfil means— to make replete, that is, (literally) to cram (a net), level up (a hollow), or (figuratively) to furnish (or imbue, diffuse, influence), satisfy, execute (an office), finish (a period or task), verify (or coincide with a prediction), etc.: – accomplish, X after, (be) complete, end, expire, fill (up), fulfil, (be, make) full (come), fully preach, perfect, supply.
An example of this:
Mat 5:38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
Mat 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
Mat 5:40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.
KIDRoach,
You wrote a lot, so I’m going to take the biggest issues you’ve said to keep the post as short as possible.
For your first comment “why doesn’t it make sense to create him in our own image, use logic, not religions.” If you want to look at logic, lets look at motive. Why would you create a religion? Two reasons: money and power. So if you want to maximize these you need to have as many people as possible in your religion. To maximize people, you need to look at your religion like a political campaign. You need to be generic enough that as many people as possible will feel welcome. You need to suck up to the people. To do so, one needs a religion that is flexible, that focuses on finding something within each of us. Like all those self help books, or the Secret by , or those religions where we do stuff to win God’s favor. You need to be broad enough and generic enough that as few people as possible are offended and so that as many people as possible can relate to your ‘hopes, aspirations, and ideals for the future’. The way to get to catch the most fish is to cast as broad a net as possible.
I stand by the Bible’s claim that no one can earn heaven based on Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, Ephesians 2:8-9. Please allow me to explain as the idea that repenting is not an act of earning salvation is not immediately obvious. Here’s what the Bible says about it: Repentance is the act of turning from sin to God. Here’s an analogy to the whole thing. What if I invite you to swim in my Olympic size pool free of charge? You are so excited about the invitation that you take a shower before getting in the pool. Since you showered, was swim really free? Yes. You didn’t do any thing for me that required me to invite you to swim with me. So from an earning stand point, there is no cost. Now, in an economic sense there are costs to salvation, sure. You did have to give up whatever you would have been doing for that time block instead of swimming to go swimming, but you didn’t have to pay anything. You did take a shower before you got in, but you wanted to do that. So economically there is an opportunity cost (you can’t swim and go to the mall like you originally planned at the same time).
It’s a matter of doing what you want more. You want to shower (repent) and you want to swim (love Jesus). You can’t earn heaven because to earn it you’d have to do something worthy to get in. Repentance doesn’t make you worthy of heaven, Jesus’ blood does. Repentance is simply how we respond to His love. No one who is given a gift says “ah, I earned this gift because I took it from your open hands” That’s the point of my favorite verse, Ephesians 2:8-9. I hope that clarifies a little bit. I definitely struggled with receiving something totally free, too. To this day, it is difficult for me to receive charity because I think I don’t need it.
I am sorry that you only think “all religions don’t let you think for yourself.” As far as I’m concerned, nothing in life lets you think for yourself. Do you think you have ever had an original thought or do you think everything you have ever thought or done is simply a result of all the input stimuli into your brain over the course of your life? I would say the latter. How is “free thinking” actually independent thinking? Many people ascribe to this worldview, so it’s not unique. Most first read about ‘free thinking’ in books or are told by friends. Even if some do dream it up, the only logical conclusion is that it’s wired in your brain and thus, again, not an independent thought. Free thinkers would simply be slaves to their own genetic make up, thinking as they are programmed to think. Be careful with totting the “I’m a free thinker” montague. At best it’s slavery to genetics, at worst it’s simply another ideology ploy to make you think you are in control.
As for the guilt and shame that some cults rely on. I can tell you that true Christianity has little guilt or shame. True, we are all guilty (by a court rooms standards) of rebelling and betraying the Creator God. But do I feel guilty day to day? No. I feel joy, freedom, liberation, satisfaction. Though I am guilty, I am counted forgiven, and even declared ‘not guilty’ (this is called justification before God). What ‘keeps’ me following God? It’s not guilt and shame. God’s love for me makes me love Him back. How has He loved me? He gave me the one thing I can’t earn—eternal life with His Son. There are many other ways He has shown me love that keep me in Him, too. He’s forgiven me. He’s freed me from being a slave to my desires (I can tell you that sin is desirable as I’ve been a gambling, porn, and work addict but I speak from experience when I say that compared to knowing God and His love, these are empty, fleeting, and only mildly entertaining.) So though in God’s court of Law I am guilty, as you know, His Son paid the blood debt I owe that I am free from feelings of guilt and shame.
Of all your objections, you are most logical when questioning Jesus compared to these lunatics. He cannot simply be a good man, or a teacher. He made claims about being equal with God so He is either a lunatic or what He claims to be. I could recite church history how unlike Jones and Koresh, Christians are still around today. I could tell about how Christians are most often killed by other people, not each other. But if you’ve been in the Word and to Christian schools, you know all about the perseverance of Christianity through the ‘best’ arguments over the past 2000 years. Unlike cults, Christianity isn’t a passing fad, it perseveres.
I’ve been in your shoes. The longer I spend in my head without talking my ideas out with people who oppose my thoughts, the more I convience myself I am right. Shot me an email with your responses or keep posting here and we can dialogue about this more. If what I believe is true, it has to stand up to scrutiny, right? The same goes for any truth. If have questions, or, if you think I am absolutely crazy and need salvation from my belief in Jesus, email me ben.hornback at gmail dot com
Well done!
Your article brought out the nutters, the ones who utterly misunderstood your point and commented not because they wanted to dialog but primarily to bust out their unused vocabulary. Religion – particularly Christianity – simply cannot be discussed rationally in public, but only in a room with people one knows.
Yes, banning homosexuality is as silly as being refused entry to a particular building because you’re a eunuch or the result of congress out of wedlock, or laws against touching pig skin or cutting one’s hair in a bowl, or cutting off a woman’s hand for defending her husband’s life.
Have a nice day.
I thought this article was great–funny, and not senselessly religion-bashing (tho anti-fanatic). Having grown up Christian and been over-religionized, though, I have to correct you on one thing: “pulling out.” The law in the Tanach required a brother to “help” his sib if the guy died before he impregnated his wife. The idea was indeed pro-procreation; if you got married, the idea was to spread your seed, so to speak. If a guy died, his bro (if he had one) was legally required to give the poor widow a share of the family genes so there’d be an heir.
Onan pulled out, just fucked his late bro’s widow for the fun of it, and since God thought that was selfish, so to speak, he smote the guy. It was more for missing the point and just satisfying himself than for simply pulling out.
Thought I’d add something neither strident nor evangelical to the conversation.
Religion is the greatest hoax perpetrated against mankind. It is so obviously man-made for one because it is clearly derived from our fear of suffering and death. It has been disproven time and time again yet the poor and uneducated are easy fodder for its soothing words.
I can only hope one day we have a president who isn’t afraid to say “I am an atheist” instead of pretending he (or she) goes to church, fears God, etc…
What still no one has addressed here, is New Testament’s stand on divorce. I want to understand why many Christian denominations aggressively reject homosexuality while not even making an issue of a divorced and remarried person. Divorce and remarriage according to most denominations’ interpretation is considered perpetual adultery. Why is one “sexually deviant” act considered acceptable while the other is treated like the black plague of morality?
Niki, those of faith twist, revise and (in some cases) completely ignore these so-called absolute truths to meet their own ends.
Thou shall not murder? Oh, it’s okay if it’s in the name of God.
BOTTOM-LINE: Religion is man-made and in almost all cases, we can emphasize MAN because these are a set of beliefs that take on a decidedly masculine perspective on life.
Religion’s cop-out logic:
Something good happens, it’s God’s blessing. Something bad happens, it’s God’s will or he’s testing you.
On another note, for those of you who gamble (I’m assuming not many of you do) – bet against the player’s team who says that God is on their side. In the past year, God is 0/2 in major sporting events. Dwight Howard claimed divine blessing and his team lost to the Lakers in the NBA Finals 4-1. Kurt Warner and Ken Whisenhunt placed their faith in the Almighty and they were absolutely heartbroken in the Superbowl (I guarantee they were thanking the Lord after that incredible Larry Fitzgerald TD… too bad their Lord “works in mysterious ways” lol)
I take issues with some Christians… they follow the rules only when they want, so then why follow any rules at all? This person I know is a single mother of 2 children by 2 different fathers. When her family suggested to abort her 2nd child, since the father could not be found and she was having all kinds of financial and personal difficulties, she said no, she couldn’t do that, because she was Catholic. WTF?! She wasn’t acting Catholic when she had pre/extra-marital sex, but suddenly becomes Catholic when presented with a choice.
I’ll say be like Jesus: not in everything, but his main beef with the Jews was that culture of exclusion (i.e., not letting eunuchs or bastards in the temples; they excluded people who were sick as well). Jesus thought that was wrong, and he said so. That’s why he introduced the “love thy neighbor” culture. If you really do unto others as you would have them do unto you, if you don’t judge, if you let people be happy, make people happy yourself, you’ll be guaranteed a spot in heaven, whatever version of “heaven” you believe in. I’m just saying…
i dont know who wrote this or their reasoning but it was amazing! i swear i have been preaching that last line since the miss california incident! i love it!!! thank you! im forwarding this to EVERYONE!!!!!
Interesting take. I am a Christian. I believe in Jesus Christ. I try to study and live by the Bible. I am not perfect. Only Jesus was perfect. It is not my job to judge anyone. That is god’s job.
Smile Jesus loves you!
Wow! Another article pushing an agenda by misquoting or misapplying the Bible. You not only don’t understand the whole message of the Bible you even came up with some new interpretations of your own. Welcome to the zealot world of which you condemn. Too bad you really don’t want to know the truth because as you may know, it will set you free.
Re: your question: It would help to start off with the fact there are multiple categories of law handled in Leviticus, of which you’ll also find that anti-homosexuality law handled in a new testament book (it’s authored by Paul, but I don’t recall which letter it was). I think that’s more than enough to demonstrate it as a moral law, rather than the ceremonial or cultural laws that were cited in this article (sans divorce… that truly is only an option for those who are being abused in a relationship and no one else)
BTW, I’m beginning to think the comments are more screwy than the usual misquoting of Leviticus, honestly…
Yawn stupid thread…
Christians know they are right and everyone else is wrong. Take one shot or look at something different and the defenses come up full steam!
Non-Christians think the Christians are ignorant and stupid. They make sure to let them know at any given opportunity.
Gets boring
You can’t dismiss this by saying that only the new testament counts. Jesus said, in the Sermon on the Mount, no less, that you can’t ignore the old testament. So all that has been said counts, and, as I’m sure we all realise, is complete nonsense
AAAAHHHHHH!!!! I cannot believe I just read so much comment rubbish. I am feeling more stupid as time passes. Ben!! FEAR Ben! FEAR is the answer!!! Geez you were killing me with your idealistic bull!! I want to shake some of you. Shake the stupid right out of you. I need a smoke! Why have I done this to myself today? I try to never read this stuff, what was I thinking? I am actually surprised that I still find myself surprised.
So many people miss the point entirely…
I’m glad logic is what is fueling your arguments, because that is encouraged in the Bible. We Christians can be very judgmental, which is wrong, but it’s because, like everyone else, we are sinners. Just brush the offenses off your shoulders if you can.
If you want to judge the Bible, make sure you really find out what it is saying. Most of us aren’t Jews and that’s who the old testament law was for. A lot of the Bible’s text that people site to make a point was actually meant for a very specific situation. Instead of getting caught up with what is a sin and what isn’t, start with the basics. What’s important is a relationship with God, and then out of love to him, we strive to live our lives as pleasing to him.
to make this comment easier and short, no reason to ramble, you cannot take rules given to a group of people in the old testament before Jesus died on the cross to make life for believers much easier, and apply them to people today. Especially when every warning in Leviticus was given in warning about Pagan rituals. Yes, looking to a fortune cookie for guidance is sin, but why ridiculous? Your references to Mark… COMPLETELY taking one section and making a new story from it. Post surrounding texts of those verses, or understand the whole thing yourself; you have meanings there completely distorted. As far as deuteronomy, i honestly haven’t read it. but i sure will and will get back to this on it. (no attitude or harsh tone intended here)
You know what’s funny?
A lot of christians are anti-abortion while the bible is pro-abortion (well, in 1 specific way).
If a women is suspected of being unfaithful to her husband, she is to drink a ‘bitter water’.
Numbers 5:11-31 http://www.biblija.net/biblija.cgi?Bible=Bible&m=Nu+5&id32=1&id7=1&pos=0&set=3&l=en
edit: I checked. She won’t have an abortion specifically, but won’t be able to have children if she is defiled… “and her belly shall swell”
Just loved your article….
Wow, with the url from Xamon, just learned the bible is really a book of spells!! The cheating wife brings an “offering” to the “ceremony” to drink the “bitter water” that has a “curse” in it! WOW! and all this time I thought voodoo was against god’s beliefs!!!
The reason that God created most of these laws was to protect the Israelites from things that would have harmed or even killed them during that time period. Take eating pork for example. Today, we can eat pork and with the way that meat is processed and sold today, no one will necessarily die from it. But, back then, it was a very “unclean” animal, in that there was no way for them to make it more healthy to eat (And honestly, it probably still isn’t that great for you), and it carried with it diseases that often killed people. So most of the food laws need no longer apply. On the other hand, the sexual laws are still very valid under this argument. As we all know, homosexual practices still lead to STDs, as do adulterous practices. Also, Paul address homosexuality in Romans, as a New Testament law as well. (Just so you know, “New Testament” means “new covenant”…this is the reason we regard the laws separately from the Old Testament).
As for not letting certain people into church, most often in that time period and that culture many things were a sign of the pagan people in the surrounding areas. God did not want them to associate with these people and begin to take on their religious beliefs, as they had done in the past, so he made this law to hinder that. I have not studied these specific laws in detail, but I believe that is what they are referring to.
Finally, I’d like to comment on the masturbation/pulling out and gold thing. Because, while you probably don’t see them as related, they are basically first cousins. For the pulling out argument: that one, specific, out-of-context example that you pulled (no pun intended) was about a man who had his own agenda he was trying to push, and when he did this, he was being very selfish. He wanted a child for himself, not for his brother, so he prevented a child from being made at all. This is why God took his life. You missed the point entirely.
For the gold, this was causing pride among the women. Paul was saying that the women needed to be less concerned with themselves and the possessions they had and more concerned with the things of God. So, because those material things were causing them to be prideful, they should have not been wearing them at all. Again, you missed the point. God does not care about your physical state. He cares about your intentions. In both of these situations, the people had bad intentions, so God was telling them that they were wrong.
Even with your lack of insight into your subject matter, I will say that your argument is fairly well written. Just lacking any in-depth intelligence about the Bible.
I’m a christian, but I laughed myself silly with this article! Love it, God can be pretty funny at times! You’ve got some things a little out of context but funny anyway.
This article was very interesting. Doesn’t the bible also say you should not have sexual intercourse except for procreational purposes only when a man and a woman are married? This means that almost every young man and woman sin today. What are peoples comments on this. I would like to hear everyone’s opinions.
Hey, i sense you’re being sarcastic or something of the sought..All those things you’re talking about are all found in the law that Moses was given by God..But when Jesus came, he sunnarised all to 2, Loving God, and your neighbour as yourself…Yet again, Paul said in Romans 3:21-26 “21 But now the righteousness of God apart from the law is revealed, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets, 22 even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all[h] who believe. For there is no difference; 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed, 26 to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.” God looks at the heart, and your faith which credits your righteousness..Not to say that the law is useless but God does not judge the way men do…That because u’ve eaten bacon you’ll face God’s wrath…No way, thats not how He reasons, like man.
very good point Mel, you clarified that for me very well. Thank you for your insight
This is old Testament stuff, Jesus payed the price for all this.
So many “christians” commenting here claim that the old testament no longer applies (except when it suits their agendas). Why? Because they’re embarrased the utter ridiculousness of it all. Well, if that is the case, then throw out Genesis as well and creationism. I want all of you christians to go to your bibles right now and completely rip out the entire old testament and throw it in the trash. Never gaze upon it again!
Get real people, it’s the 21st century.
Hey great article! I don't know anyone in my church who shares this view so it's nice to have someone who agrees with me n_n
I think it would be cool if you did a focus on the new testament (as this is where I have lost points in an argument) on how Paul is the only one in the new testament who talks against homosexuality, but how he also said women could not speak in the church (1 Corinthians 14:34—36) and must submit to men (1 Timothy 2:11—15) and that we dismiss that now.
I'm sad that you have written such a thing…Really my friend, I pray God that the eyes of your spirit may be enlighten and you that you may understand what Jesus did on the cross for you…The reign of God is among us.. We are now led by the Spirit…Jesus is the end of the law but He didn't abolish it..I'm not telling you that Jesus has granted us grace so that we may continue to sin..NO..Moreover grace has even a higher standard that law..The law said “eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot”, but Jesus says “love your enemies and forgive”…The law said ” do not commit adultery” Jesus says ” only by coveting a lady is enough to commit sin” If our righteousness does not surpass the righteousness of the Pharisees we will not inherit the kingdom of God, says Jesus.If you want to follow the law than you'll may covet a lady, and practice eye for eye and tooth for tooth…The ritual and traditional sides of the law is abolished once for all by Jesus. No need to be circumcised..its the circumcision of the heart that Jesus is looking for. The Lord, in the book of Acts, gave Peter a revelation and asked Peter to eat a swine (this animal was considered as impure under the law)…The Lord gave Peter this revelation because Peter was mixing the both covenant…Peter thought that the Gentiles must be circumcised in order to walk with the Lord.. But it isn't the case…Please my friend go through your Bible. Bless you
You seem to have forgotten to ad one thing; the fact that the Tora is ment to show us what sin is so we understand how much we need a savior (Galatians 3:19 and Galatians 3:23). I used to be a Messianiac Jew for a long time, and we were taught that if we didn't adhere to the Tora, we would be cast out from God's Kingdom eventhough we had faith in Y'shua (Jesus Christ). The old covenant that YHWH had with the House of Judah was broken because they (the Jews) would not keep it. Now we are under a new covenant through Christ (Matthew 26:28) because he fulfilled the Tora (Matthew 5:17 and John 19:30) when he declared “it is finished.” The truth is that no man can follow the Tora completely, and everyone sins against YHWH (GOD), but through the sacrafice of his SON we can receive eternal life and not eternal shame and damnation.
All right
Old, new, it's all nonsense. The bible is a twisted collection of myths and fables. There's no magic ghost in the clouds, waiting to grant the wishes you send to him telepathically. People don't have babies without having sex. People don't die, then come back (well, only in a good zombie movie). People don't live to be over 700 years old. Seas don't split in half. Animals from around the globe didn't all meet in one place and get on a boat together, in a climate that couldn't support many of them. Religion is a mental illness, which explains the violent reactions, or the cheerful ignorance you get from religious people. Anyone who believes in any of that stuff has no credibility with me, and their words are worthless. Wake up, it's 2010. If you're over 5 years old, it's time to lose your imaginary friend.
fantastic
A practicing Christian that uses common sense with his religion. . . I am impressed. I don't agree completely with what you are saying, as in “god allowed” but the same can be said that you do not agree with me. . . but at least we can agree that man made the choices and changes in the religion. . . that “god allowed” to happen. I can deal with that. . .
It is those Christians that will not accept by any stretch of the imagination i.e. “The Whited Sepulchre” with his god knew they would fail, he planned it that way theory. . . That is just making excuses for your God.
To bring up the fact that rules were made by man for man such as they were unhealthy makes sense. But even back then, you are going to have people that had certain outlooks on life with personal beliefs, just as we do today and their personal moral beliefs had influence on what they wrote.
Those moral laws such as “Love your neighbor as yourself.” “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” are moral with or without religion. . . People know instinctively that murder is wrong, that taking something that is not yours is wrong, because they can sense how they would feel in this case. . .whether or not they wish to listen to their inner voice is another subject altogether. . . but how am I supposed to know not to eat pork, or not to get a tattoo, not to have relations with the same sex. . . these are taught not known. I can learn that I do not like something in my rear, but I am not going to know instinctively.
A law is a law. . . Where does it say anything about follow this law until it is no longer Ceremonially accepted. For that matter where does it even mention that this law is moral and that one is ceremonial? Where does it say that any of them are no longer relevant?
If this were the case don't you think that Jewish Rabbi Jesus would have said so, it would not have to been decided somewhere between the mid 4th to mid 5th Century. If you are not going to follow the majority of them, why follow the couple that are left.
Ok so god the “omnipotent and omniscient” knew that when the old testament was written he would visit the earth a couple thousand years later. You would think he would have the foresight to actually write what he really wanted the masses to know BEFORE he decided to change his mind, a couple hundred century's later! For this all knowing all seeing 3 part god head who has a plan from start to finish…..to change his mind about the written word that his zealots would follow…..shows maybe he didn't know what he was doing. That or these doctrine that the zealots follow to this day was actually written by a man not a god. Maybe to install fear into the masses and make them bend to the will of the current government or maybe to drive the normal person crazy with questions.
If teaching religion to children was banned it would disappear in a generation. It requires the young mind to enter and disease.
This is what a small minded, garbage believing liberal, with too much time on their hands comes up with when they have nothing else to do. This is probably one of the most absurd/amusing things I’ve ever seen in my life, especially considering WHO it is that I know that chose to link this to their Facebook page! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
If you are referring to the dark and middle ages where the church was in power and other such things (crusades, witch trials ETC) may I just point out that this was done by people who were corrupt. They used religion as a mask for their politically based acts. All they wanted was power and they were not true christians. If you think about how Jesus established a kingdom through love and not force, you will see that Jesus did not intend his kingdom to be enforced through force. Napoleon (French Commander) once said that he and others had established great empires through force. ‘Yet Jesus Christ established a kingdom through love. Many people will die for me but to this day many millions of people would die for Christ, not through force but through peace’. I hope you understand and God bless.
Jesus actually did mention these laws and changed some of them. I suggest you read the Sermon on the Mount for verification.
No, I don’t understand. What I don’t understand is:
1. Why a god would supposedly cause all these events to happen if he/she/it had the foresight to know they ahead of time that they wouldn’t work. To what end? Out of boredom? “Just because I can”?
2. Construction on a tower to reach heaven was halted by the creation of languages? Really? Is heaven supposed to be a tangible, physical place in the sky that could be reached by a man made tower? And people during the construction of this tower suddenly woke up one day speaking languages that they had never spoken before? Is this really a more plausible explanation of the creation of languages than the logical explanation that people who lived in different geographical regions are going to develop their own languages that EVOLVE over the course of thousands of years?
3. Why would anyone base a belief system on a god that acts with such childish whims? This does not sound like an entity to be praised. This sounds like the kind of person that screws things up and then says “Oh, I meant to do that” in an attempt to not look like a dumbass.
4. How do people in th 21st century continue to believe that the bible is the word of some supernatural being rather than a fictional text written by people trying to use peoples’ fears to control them and without the scientific knowledge to understand the workings of the world around them.
The New Testament is built from the Old Testament. You reject the Old Testament, you also reject the New Testament. You reject ‘parts’ of either, you reject the whole. My biggest pet peeve with Christians, Muslims…ultimately, every religion…is the peacemealing you all like to do. Why are you okay with a lot of what is said in the bible? Your mental gymnastics are hard to comprehend, since you all have to reject the most fundamental aspects of human thinking: logic.
because christianity actually has proof. roman scribes have documented that jesus actually existed and was crucified. now you have to believe he has risen. and the romans and jews werent that fond of christianity so why didnt they just get his body and show that he hadnt risen? i mean it was the romans themselves who put him in the tomb so they had to know where his body was? and all they had to do to put an end to christianity was to parade his body up and down the streets. and why do 4 separate gospels written by different authors from different parts of the world all say the SAME EXACT thing? and one of those gospels was written by a roman scribe!! (gospel of luke) im just responding to your last comment as for the other stuff you wrote. you are seriously misguided and it would take a lot of writing to tell you how much you have twisted the truth.
“if the universe has no meaning. we should have never found out it has no meaning” c.s. lewis
god was dissapointed in onajn for having sex with his brothers wife not for pulling out…
That is no real proof because at the time there are a documented (and really that isn’t proof as all we are going on is people words, just written down) 13 people who were believe (and went by the name of) Jesus Christ, all 13 did similar stuff as the other and all were living lavishly because they were the “son of god”
also those books (Mathew Luke John, really any that mention Jesus) were all written years after his death. memory fades.
and his body being gone doesn’t prove anything grave robbers worked fast back then because after 3 or so day the body begins to rot and stink
and if you really believe you would read the whole bible, not just the parts a group of people decided they liked and didn’t interfere with what they wanted people to believe. look up and read the parts of the bible that are left out of our standard version of today, I believe there are 13 or so books left out of the bible you’d find in a church.
in these books is where it talks about Jesus having a brothel and selling women out for prostitution, it also details him killing a man. they make you realize its a fable and nothing more
any law that can be changed isn’t a law its a temporary prohibition, a true law is permanent and can stand the test of time.
its the same as rights if a right can be taken away its only a temporary privilage
I do not think we will have to worry about these things for much longer, I feel Christianity (And religion in general) is dying, more and more people are realizing that there is no point for religion in todays society, it serves no real purpose.religion was used to explain things we couldn’t 2000 years ago but now that (some of us) are smarter and can explain why the sun sets at night and why the moon rises what stars really are and how people and animals came about its purpose is really gone.
people will say things like “what about ‘why are we hear and whats the meaning of life’” but if there is a god would you really want to know that the only reason life on earth was made is because it gave this child like omnipresence something to do, or that your lives only meaning is to amuse this being.
I would prefer not knowing personally