Written by Emily McCombs

It’s AVN season, the time when porn stars dress up in their finest PVC attire and compete for awards in categories such “Best All-Girl 3-Way Sex Scene.” And for those lucky enough to be attending the AVN awards on January 10th in Las Vegas, it’s also the time when porn stars leap out of the DVD player and come to life to pose for pictures and sign your time-worn copy of “Jenna Loves Rocco.”

Luckily, adult entertainer and Wicked Girl Stormy Daniels (who is nominated for both “Best Supporting Actress” and “Crossover Star of the Year”) was kind enough to give us some pointers on how to keep your foot out of your mouth when faced with your favorite porn stars. Read on to find out 10 things you should never say to a porn star.

10. You’re too pretty to do porn. (So, you’re saying you would prefer to watch ugly people f*ck?)

9. Your vagina must be really worn out. (Mine isn’t nearly as bad as your mother’s after pushing such a giant idiot like you out of it.)

8. I would never watch porn. I think it is degrading to women. (Then how did you know my name? And my measurements? And my astrological sign? And my birthdate?)

7. How do I get my girlfriend/wife to do ________? (Ask her, not me. By the way, talking to me in the first place is not helping your cause.)

6. Wow! You’re so much prettier/younger/thinner in your photos. (Obviously your mother didn’t teach you anything and it is called Photoshop.)

5. I pleasured myself to you 10 times this week! (OK, I didn’t need to know precisely how pathetic you are. And stop trying to shake my hand. I now unfortunately know exactly where it has been.)

4. I could do porn. (No, you couldn’t. If you could, you already would be … and no, I will NOT audition you!)

3. Are those yours? (Well, I paid for them.)

2. Do you think you are going to hell? (Discussing religion with a porn star will get you as far as discussing porn with your grandmother … just don’t try it.)

1. I wanna take you out on a “real” date. ( I did not realize all my other ones were imaginary.)

Inspiration by Chris Spooner

Logos are everywhere. Because of this, only a few can rise among the noise — and often it’s the more unique logos that are most memorable. Sometimes to be unique, you’ve also got to be weird. In this post, we showcase twenty lovably strange logos that work.

Society 27

The Society 27 logo by Pavel Pavlov makes use of the fantastic ambigram effect, which ensures the logo display exactly the same when viewed in an upside down position. The abstract use of the quotation marks and number seven cleverly make up the complete 27.

London Symphony Orchestra

The LSO logo uses a single flowing line to create the three initials of the London Symphony Orchestra. The semi-representational shapes are recognisable enough to be seen as letters, but also allows the logo on a whole to be seen as an elegant graphic.

I love NY

The simple yet highly recognisable mark of the I Love New York has been used to promote tourism in New York for years. Known as a Rebus logo, it displays a large red heart graphic to symbolise the word love, while representing the word New York with the two initials N and Y.

Museum of London

The new Museum of London logo first appears to be a collation of current logo design trends, but with deeper inspection and research the underlying meaning of the logo is discovered. The organic shapes that make up the logo represent the history of London, showing its growth over time expanding geographically.

Metroplex

The Metroplex logo by BrandBerry creates an excellent sense of depth with the use of three dimensional shapes. The array of cuboid shapes represent skyscraper buildings which make up the overall metropolis graphic, linking well to the meaning behind the name.

Cattleyard

Another logo that links well to its name and subject is that of Cattleyard Promotions. Being a music related business the logo uses various graphics of instruments but combines them to form the overall shape of a cow, bringing together these two inspirations into a unique mark.

CafeClick

The CafeClick logo uses an accepted icon of the internet, the mouse cursor and brings it together with a mug of coffee by replacing the steam. This cleverly links these two elements making a brilliant logo for an internet café.

Logo Motives

The Logo Motives brand that represents designer Jeff Fisher is an admirable collation of imagery and letterforms. The manipulation of the letters O and G allow them to fit seamlessly into the overall train graphic with perfect geometrics all round.

Rehabilitation Hospital Corporation of America

The highly symbolic logo of the Rehabilitation Hospital Corporation of America logo communicates a complex message with just a simple design. Using the globally renown cross symbol to represent help and medical attention and the steps to reflect on the steps taken back to normal life.

Schizophrenic

Another logo that plays in representational symbols while relating heavily to the brand name is the Schizonphrenic logo. Being a medical disorder that often depicts split personalities the logo characterises this with simple shapes that depict a happy and sad face.

Curious

The word curious often goes hand in hand with questions, this is smartly represented in the Curious logo by Action Designer. Using the question mark symbol depicts this while being manipulated to fit into the logo by replacing the letter C.

Modern Nerd

The Modern Nerd logo makes fine use of negative space to fool the eye into seeing the overall image of a figure, using just the symbolic shapes of hair, glasses and tie it links in well to the stereotypical geek/nerd image.

Time Watch

The Time Watch logo brings in elements from daily life to enhance the meaning of the logo. The colon is commonly used on digital clocks and watches, in the logo it is cunningly used to replace the letter I giving a great looking and representative mark.

Full Time

Taking on a more lateral depiction of the brand is the Full Time logo, this mark takes a clock as the symbol of time and uses it as a container of water to represent time being full.

Upside Down

The clever execution of the Upside Down logo maintains legibility by manipulating select letters to represent the brand name. By using alternate letters or flipping the orientation of a letter gives an unusual appearance despite being easily reabable.

Candy

The combination of two images into one is what makes the Candy logo so great. Using both a stereotypical sweet product and an illustration of a girl’s head link in well to the nature of the product. Even the wording blends in to become part of the artwork.

Seven and Six

The geometric layout of the Seven and Six logo creates a groovy looking mark that also acts as the graphical alternative of the brand name. Using the numeric figures and the ampersand reinforce the complete worded variations.

Studio Eight

The flowing lines of the Studio 8 logo create an illusion that allows both the initial S and number 8 to be visible in the logo graphic. Splitting the lines at the appropriate places stops the eye from following the curves in order for each symbol to appear.

Zip

The three letters of the Zip logo are blended together to form an almost solid shape. The centre graphic which represents the real life object also holds together the logo by breaking up the block allowing the letter I to be seen as well as allowing the Z and P to become legible.

Bison

The Bison logo by Seamus Leonard is an excellent example of how letters of a word can be distorted to create a completely different shape to reinforce its meaning while maintaining readability.

Written by Nick Trend

Nick Trend looks ahead at next year’s travelling trends, including the best events and good value destinations for 2009.

Iceland: what was a scarily expensive country has suddenly become affordable Photo: AFP

Money talks, and it is going to have a bigger say than ever on where we travel in 2009. The tumbling pound has sharply increased the cost of holidays in many of our favourite destinations. British travellers will find prices in Eurozone countries up by more than 20 per cent and and in the United States by 25 per cent. Because many currencies are linked to the US dollar, holidays in destinations such as the Caribbean will be dearer.

Whether you plan strategically to travel where the pound is still strong, or decide to splash out anyway, here are 10 destinations that look likely to top the wish lists of many travellers in 2009. All references to currency values refer to comparisons between mid-December 2008 and the same date in 2007.

1 Skiing in the Alps

It has been a fantastic start to winter, with cold weather and heavy snowfalls laying down a near-perfect base for the rest of the season. While the school holidays are heavily booked, there are likely to be excellent bargains on late deals in January and March. To save money, book self-catering and drive to a French resort. Erna Low (0845 863 0525, www.ernalow.co.uk) has the best range of packages for self-drive skiing.

2 Northern France

Even if the pound falls to parity with the euro, the cost of hotels and cottages and eating out in northern France will still be roughly on a par with prices in Britain. Ferry fares are also much better value than they were a decade ago, so a beach holiday on the coast of Normandy or Brittany looks as though it will offer the best value for families who want to go overseas this summer. VFB has a good selection of properties (01452 716831, www.vfbholidays.co.uk).

3 Turkey

This is the only traditional beach holiday destination where the pound is (just) holding its own – down three per cent. So the beaches of Antalya, gulet cruises along the coast, and the club life of Bodrum should enjoy a booming summer, while Greece looks as though it may be poor value in 2009. For the best selection of accommodation see the Tapestry Collection (020 8995 7787, www.tapestryholidays.com).

4 Galapagos Islands

With the 200th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s birth falling in 2009, as well as the 150th anniversary of the publication of On the Origin of Species, it looks as though the Galapagos Islands – where he found crucial evidence for his theory of evolution – will prove a major attraction. The Ultimate Travel Company (020 7386 4646, www.theultimatetravelcompany.co.uk) has some two-for-one offers on some cruises in January and February.

5 China

In July 2009 China will see the longest solar eclipse of the century, with one of the best viewing points to the south of Shanghai. Explore (0845 013 1537, www.explore.co.uk) has several itineraries, including an 11-day tour from £1,868 including international flights.

6 Iceland

If you have always wanted to go to this extraordinary destination of ice caps and volcanoes, hot springs and waterfalls, make 2009 the year. What was a scarily expensive country has suddenly become affordable – the currency has halved in value against the pound. Discover the World is one of the best specialists (01737 218800, www.discover-the-world.co.uk).

7 South Africa

This is one of the few countries where the pound has strengthened against the local currency – from 14 to more than 15 rand. Air fares have also stayed reasonably competitive, helped by new services from Emirates from London via Dubai. You can buy flights from £629 return to Cape Town through Trailfinders (0845 050 5871, www.trailfinders.com ), which can also put together packages.

8 Britain for beaches

Surely we can’t have another washout summer? Whatever the weather, it looks as though a much higher proportion of holidaymakers will stay at home this year. They will be looking for a safe, clean beach – the Marine Conservation Society’s excellent website (www.goodbeachguide.co.uk) is the best source of advice and information.

9 England for culture

The cultural highlight in England next year is the 500th anniversary of Henry VIII’s accession to throne. This means lots of events and exhibitions at places associated with him. Windsor Castle has an exhibition opening in April, and there is lots going on at Hampton Court, where a restoration of Base Court, one of the main courtyards of the palace, to its 16th-century cobbled layout will be unveiled in February.

10 Scotland for culture

Scotland is also making the most of cultural themes this year. Homecoming is a year-long festival of events celebrating, among other things, the 250th anniversary of the birth of Robert Burns, golf, whisky and great Scottish inventors. The full programme is on www.homecomingscotland.com.

More of us will be spending our holidays at home Photo: AFP