Written by Aaron_Koehn

Hollywood is an incredible place where modern day storytellers go to weave tales of fantasy and wonderment. This enchanting destination allows noted and gifted filmmakers to work for years perfecting very personal sagas, only to then rashly conform to the opinions of a small group of nitwits (i.e. test audiences), and force unwanted artistic compromises. However, on occasion the nitwits can be right, and below we’ve listed 7 occasions where, at the request of test audiences, alternate endings were created. Was the decision to alter these films correct? You decide, as we present 7 endings that completely flipped (off) the script.

7-1408

The theatrical ending in 1408 involved John Cusak’s ghost-debunking-writer character eventually escaping from his self-induced fiery hotel room, and returning to more respected writing while reconciling with his estranged wife. Overall, it’s a fairly happy ending and it leaves us, the viewers with the thought: man 1, ghosts 0. But in the original and now alternate ending, we find that the director initially had other plans. Darker plans. Cliché plans. Remember in The Shinning when Jack Nicholson’s character eventually dies at the haunted hotel, and we later find out that his ghost is now a permanent fixture at the hotel? Well, that was how this movie was originally going to end as well. In this version, after setting his room ablaze, Mr. Cusak is unable to escape and he perishes in his hot, haunted room. This results in his addition to the place’s ever-growing ghost collection. I’d yell plagiarism if Stephen King wasn’t responsible for writing both.

6-Army of Darkness

When director Sam Raimi first shot Army of Darkness, it included a vastly different ending which to his (and star, Bruce Campell’s) dismay, was panned by test screen audiences. As a result, Universal (the production company) decided that since test audiences are generally made up of brilliant film experts, their word should probably be taken over the wishes of the filmmakers. Consequently, a new ending was ordered, shot, and then attached to this cult classic, and for years we were none the wiser. Until word broke that a new director’s cut was to be released on DVD, which included the original, uncut ending that had been removed at the request of those test screeners. This caused Evil Dead fanatics worldwide to clamor for the head’s of those audience members. And it wasn’t until the DVD was released, the new ending was viewed, and the fanatics shrugged their shoulders apathetically, that the test screeners breathed a sigh of relief.

5-I Am Legend

While the film largely doesn’t come even close to the quality of the book, there is one ending that remained more true to the spirit of the novel. And of course, that ending was the one that wasn’t attached to the theatrical release. The pro of the theatrical ending is that the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air blows himself up in an attempt to destroy an irate, agile vampire. The con of the theatrical ending is that the title, I am Legend, now stands for something that is in no way reminiscent of what it meant in the book. In fact, to even call this movie I am Legend, or claim that it’s based on the book seems pretty farfetched. Ultimately though, the alternate ending comes closer to encompassing what the story originally intended, and for that we should give it a thumbs up. Unfortunately, in this original ending, the man who was born and raised in west Philadelphia, and who spent most of his days chillin’ out, maxin’ and relaxin’ on the playground, escapes without a scratch. And that’s less entertaining.

4-The Butterfly Effect

Categorized as a thriller, the only thing that might thrill you regarding this movie is the prospect of Ashton Kutcher trying to act serious. The alternate ending, which differs greatly from the original in the fact that Mr. Kutcher commits suicide, is remarkable for one reason: the hilarious shot of an embryonic Ashton raising his umbilical cord to his throat and then strangling himself with it. After that, we are treated to the cliché Hollywood happy ending, where everyone involved in Kutcher’s life is now better off, thanks in no small part to this infant hari-kari. I certainly hope there aren’t any depressed embryos out there, who after seeing (or maybe hearing is more realistic) this alternate conclusion, think about ending their lives before they’ve really begun. Is there such a thing as prenatal Prozac?

3-The Astronaut’s Wife

The climactic final confrontation between a pregnant Charlize Theron and an alien-possessed Johnny Depp is the subject of this alternate ending. In the new conclusion (seen below), it appears that Charlize escapes from the battle with her one-time human husband unscathed — excluding the mental trauma one suffers from alien impregnation. However, that’s not the case in the theatrical release, where, after Johnny Depp cooks from Theron’s ingenious electrocution ploy, he briefly returns to alien form, a form which includes transparent tentacles. After this brief alien emergence, we then see said transparent tentacles shoot into Charlize’s eyes, leading the viewer to believe she is now the new host for this see-through Martian. And if you can tell me what’s more terrifying than an alien-possessed single mother who is pregnant with twins, then you’re probably a genius who has a very bright future ahead of you, because that is, by definition, horrifying.

2-Clerks

The directorial debut from cult filmmaker Kevin Smith at one time had an extremely different and discordant ending. Instead of the reconciliation of the protagonist Dante with his friend Randal, Dante is murdered, the store is robbed, and then the credits roll. The humorous tone that had been so prominent throughout the movie was quickly discarded for a final shot which included a close-up of Dante’s bloody hands and his lifeless face. It’s easy to see why so many people thought this ending seemed out of character and unnecessary. And certainly, in reflection, Kevin Smith has to be glad he re-shot it, since Clerks 2, Mallrats, and Clerks the series would not have been possible with that conclusion. If there is one thing we can learn from all of these forced ending re-shoots, it’s that the public doesn’t like to walk out of movies depressed. Especially not when they thought they were seeing a comedy.

1-Terminator 2: Judgment Day

As originally envisioned, this epilogue would have followed the scene where evil terminator T-1000 gets blasted into a vat of molten lava, and a sad Arnold Schwarzenegger gives a thumbs up while being lowered into a similar vat, with the intent of adding closure to the story. Wisely, this ending was dropped since its tone felt oddly out of place compared to the prior 137 minutes of robot-on-human violence. This epilogue–which seems somewhat reminiscent of a commercial for elderly medication, a la Boniva–details Sarah Connor’s now happy future, complete with grandchildren and Michael Jackson references. In it, Ms. Connor–doing her best old-age voice impersonation–describes how humanity dodged a big bullet thanks to her and no one even knows it. To be honest, what I think this ending is really saying is that this crazy 2-hour robot war we all just watched was actually just an absurd concoction of a senile senior citizen.