Top 100 Funny Quotes

Written by Left of Zen

Albert Einstein Quotes

1. The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

2. As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

3. Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

4. The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

5. If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.

6. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Fredrick Nietzsche Quotes

7. In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God.

8. A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

9. Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

10. Is man one of God’s blunders? Or is God one of man’s blunders?

11. Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.

Mark Twain Quotes

12. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

13. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

14. I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

15. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

16. The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.

17. “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
Voltaire Quotes

18. Prejudices are what fools use for reason.

19. If there were no God, it would have been necessary to invent him.

20. Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t do.

21. No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

22. The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.

23. It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere.

24. There are men who can think no deeper than a fact.

25. Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.

26. Anything too stupid to be said is sung.

27. By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property.

28. Governments need to have both shepherds and butchers.

Plato Quotes

29. One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

30. No one ever teaches well who wants to teach, or governs well who wants to govern.

31. This City is what it is because our citizens are what they are.

32. Courage is knowing what not to fear.

33. The measure of a man is what he does with power.

Winston Churchill Quotes

34. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

35. If you are going through hell, keep going.

36. The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

37. It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

George Carlin Quotes

38. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

39. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

40. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man?living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

41. You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

42. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”

43. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.

44. What year did Jesus think it was?

45. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

46. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

47. “No comment” is a comment.

48. If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

49. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.

Steve Martin Quotes

50. Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!

51. There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.

52. Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It’s something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.

53. I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

54. You know what your problem is, it’s that you haven’t seen enough movies – all of life’s riddles are answered in the movies.

55. First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

56. Why is it we don’t always recognize the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?
* As Harris K. Telemacher in “L.A. Story” (1991)

Steven Colbert Quotes

57. “To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush?I feel like I’m dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I’m a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough?Somebody shoot me in the face.”
-Roasting Bush at the 2006 White House Correspondents’ dinner

58. On this show, your voice will be heard – in the form of my voice.

59. There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.

60. Folks, the President needs a break. He’s like a Black and Decker cordless Dirt Devil vacuum. If you don’t recharge his batteries, he can’t suck.

61. I’ve always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can’t judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?

62. Now, I don’t see color. People tell me I’m white and I believe them because police officers call me “sir”.

63. Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.

64. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell.”

65. Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals.

Jon Stewart Quotes

66. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

67. Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

68. We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There’s just one problem – it’s in North Korea.

69. We declared war on terror-it’s not even a noun, so, good luck.

70. Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn’t want to go. Germany. The Michael Jordan of war took a pass.
Jon Stewart’s Stand-up performance at RIT, 2005

Bill Maher Quotes

71. Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

72. I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

73. Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.

74. They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week,
which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

75. Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little
bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

76. Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

77. There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, “I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.”

78. Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? “Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.”

Larry David Quotes

79. Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.

80. If you tell the truth about how you’re feeling, it becomes funny.

81. I’m surprized Hitler didn’t round up the toupee people.”

Dennis Miller Quotes

82. A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

83. The average American’s day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles’s dart board.

84. “The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.”

Jay Leno Quotes

85. Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

86. The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

87. Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution.

88. The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

89. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

90. Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

91. I’m at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.

92. A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!

93. Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.


Sarah Silverman Quotes

94. When God gives you AIDS – and God does give you AIDS, by the way – make lemonAIDS.

95. I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

Chris Rock Quotes

96. Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

97. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

98. If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. If she tells you she’s twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she’s damn near fourty.

99. “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to
go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’, and ‘Colon.’ Need I say more?”

100. “You won’t be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.”
Chris Rock while hosting the Oscars

101. Gas is getting so expensive I’m gonna ride a mexican to work.

89 thoughts on “Top 100 Funny Quotes

  1. someguy

    Where are the Muhammad cracks? Guess you don’t want to offend the religion of peace. I do wonder how many readers you have lost today. I know of at least one.

  2. Doesntmatter

    You forgot this one

    ‘In order to be brave, you must first become afraid. For true courage lies in the overcoming of fear, not in its absence. ‘ – Blue Power Ranger

    1. Tanya N

      You are truly a fool! I feel sorry for you and the many others like you because your supposed ‘intelligence’ is only limited to what you know right now, what you have been taught and your experiences up until the current time.

      True intelligence is the ability to confess the possibility of a truth beyond your current understanding.

      Have you ever heard someone say ‘If I could turn back time I would do things differently’?

      Why do you think this is such a common statement? Because back then you didn’t know what you know now, and what you will know in the future, you do not know right now, so how does that make you an intelligent person (according to your understanding of the word)?

      Do you know what the definition of intelligence is? The definition of intelligence is ‘the CAPACITY for understanding’ this means that you do not necessarily have to understand or comprehend or believe something but admit the possibility of it.

      An intelligent person is someone who confesses that they do not know everything. But you’ve got it all worked out don’t you?

      People like you are ones who learn things the hard way, by the truth slapping you in the face when you least expected it to and when it is too late. You move on from that a much wiser person but only up until that time and you still refuse to accept any reality beyond what is in your little head.

      And again before you know it……SLAP!

      I dare you to just try and put aside your selfishness, stop listening to what the world is telling you and experience the true God for yourself, you will be forever changed- you will gain intelligence.

      ~ Intelligent Christian (who does not know everything)

      1. Russell

        so how about you having the CAPACITY to believe in ADMITING the POSSIBILITY that what you are spouting might just not be the truth ,…..and is really the rantings of a short sited, indoctrinated, blinker wearing bible basher, oh, and ones perception is ones reality and perception is not fact nor is it the truth!!
        So,…here it is,…just for you for being a twit and totally contradicting all you say,….SLAP!!

        ~ UH,…not so intelligent non-christian.

        1. Troy

          your a fool..I Have come as close as one can to proving God I have even won statewide debates in High School would be narrow minded of you to not hit me up on my email..Laughingtigeratrocketmaildotcom I look forward to enlightening you ;)

          1. Duncan

            Just because you may have been a good debater, and won debates on religion, it does not mean that you are right. It simply means that you are of narrow enough mind to find the possibility that anyone but you being right is a complete load of bull.

      2. I Dunno

        Really? The same person saying one must admit that they do not know everything…or that they only must have the capacity to learn is truely intelligent, is saying that we will only be happy if we see it her way and believe in the one true god? It must be difficult to talk out of both sides of your mouth while singing a hymn. The only think you know, madame, is what everyone else holding a bible has told you because that is all youve ever listened to. So as far as your circle of people, i would imagine you could be the most intelligent, due to your proper spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. You’re obviously college educated. But if you take that narrow-minded bologna out into the real world and toss it around, you’ll find out really quickly that there are a whole lot of “one true god”s. And every damned one of them is just as correct and holy as yours. You’re all equally right and wrong. You dont know the answer any more than any of the rest of us. All you have is faith…and if you ask Fredrick Nietzsche, One walk through a mental asylum shows that faith proves nothing. My point is unless you are the next prophet…or you have indisputible proof…making your choice of religion to follow the one true religion…theres absolutely no sense in bashing anyone else for their beliefs. Because what is going to happen when you die and you’re standing face to face with a three headed purple gorilla monster who created this planet so the chosen ones could bring him bananas? Youre going to hell for bashing his religion. Thats what.

      3. Jessy

        hahaha your funny.. It are jokes just that don’t take it so
        Personally. God says don’t judge, everbody has the freedom to speak their minds:D. Funny quotes btw.

  3. andso

    threy could of left out all the ‘anti-christian’ crap. i mean, what if it was all ‘anti-athiest’ or ‘anti muslem’ you people would be haveing cow, or barn, depends on how liberal you are.

    -seperation of church and state=bull shit-

    1. Cass

      You know, separation of church and state really is crap. I’m so sick of all the Christian beliefs/practices shoved down my throat at my PUBLIC school. And about the “anti-Christian”, “anti-Muslim” jokes are actually funny?

  4. Mike From Oregon

    all you people who are complaining about the anti-christian comments need to get real. it is called comedy. most of these people are comedians and find things to make fun of.

    your thin skin, and no apparent sense of humor is sad. makes me sad, and truly means your insecure with your own faith.

  5. Jennifer

    They’re jokes. No need to get all bent out of shape. If you don’t like them, then don’t read them. It’s as simple as that, dumbass.

      1. Jim

        If you’re a Christian you already know that you don’t like them before you read them. But, you read them anyway so that you will know where to direct your hate.

  6. bobby

    come on people!!!! im catholic and attend church and i thought the jokes were funny. thats the whole point of a joke. am i right??? peace be with you and wheres your sense of humor!???

      1. Fellow music

        Shut up. If you are not muslim and you don’t follow Islam and you don’t read the Quran and all you do is watch the news for the crap that our people are going through and your too stuck up to see we fight for our right which is something you probably taken advantage of then honestly no one cares but if you dont know crap about the details of the religion, the basics, or anything about Islam in general then shut up because your only making yourself look like a stupid racist low life. Islam is one of the only non corrupted religions but you wouldn’t know hat because you being the stuck up person you are probably think we are all terrorists and live to kill and cause problems, well let me be the one to tell you that just because a group of people are terrorists and have done bad things doesn’t mean you blame the religion at whole and call every Muslim a terrorist or even think that, because there have been SO MANY chrisian terrorists too but you don’t see us calling you all terrorists. As the years go on you people just become more shrude. Well guess what, christianity is not the “superior” authority because you will find that many of the people in he world that are so messed up are christians and I am not balming the religion but I am simply just saying that from my knowledge (and I have studied Christianity) it doesn’t seem as though it teaches you values. Islam teaches true values and guides you. Some of the most peaceful people are Muslim. So please before you say ANYTHING about another religion make sure you check your facts because if your incorrect and your just saying rude things because your racist or angry or whatever imagine the person who reads your stuck up comment about their religion. I am one person who loves my religion and if someone who doesn’t seem to know anything about my religion except for what the news shows then I will give it right back to that person. And just to let you know I have studied Christianity so if I said anything about that religion it’s because I know about it. I don’t just talk.

        1. Anon

          First of all. Punctuation. Secondly, anyone who is an extremist needs to die. Christian, Muslim, I don’t care which. Religion is the dirtiest excuse for a fight since man exists. The Qu’ran (toilet paper that it is) even talks about the Munifikun. The hypocrites who are more dangerous to the Muslim faith than it’s enemies. Anyone who follows a book that promotes prejudice and violence should be burned. Fact.

        2. Luke

          I agree with you that obviously the the majority of muslims aren’t terrorists.My doctor is islamic and he’s one of the nicest guys around. The Quran does teach good values and i believe that most of the Quran is good. And i can probably understand why you dont think christianity doesnt teach values because most churches doctrine contradicts what the bible says.
          But if you have studied christianity, have you read Mark 16:16-17? He that believes and is baptised shall be saved. And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils and they shall speak with new tongues.
          And in 1 Corinthians 14:22 Wherefore tongues are a sign, not to them that believe but to them that believe not. I believe only because of the evidence i have witnessed. If you are interested
          visit http://www.trf.org.au. You may find it very interesting.
          God Bless

          1. speedo

            Blue’s Clues teaches good values too, but i dont see anyone basing their life on what they read in their handy dandy notebook, let alone killing people over it.

            1. Luke

              to most people the bible is just a storybook written by men with a wild imaginations. But it actually is a book of promises made by God. I have personally witnessed miracles happen. All the people in my church has had God do all sorts of amazing things happen to them. For example, one man at my church saw his work mate drop dead from a brain aneurism. He remembered a scripture that true believers of God can lay hands on the dead and bring them back to life. So he applied that and his work mate got raised from the dead before his eyes and he was fine after that. Christianity isnt about sticking to some laws in a book, its based on the grace of God forgiving us for our sins because no ones perfect. But to be covered by God’s grace you must be baptised by full immersion (not a sprinkling on the head) and repent to the best you can.

        3. Riverhawk

          Yor are so full of anger. You sit there and preach about Islam with anger in your heart. Really? Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on diputable matters. Try a more humble approach next time.

  7. Shelly

    Now, let’s end the religion discussion and start laughing at these jokes, people. Life’s short and not everyone can be pleased, so GET OVER IT.

  8. Amm

    Jokes are always funny to read and laugh at…..
    The church is man made…. however, Gods love is real. All God wants from us is to love others, treat others with respect, help those in need, and spread Gods grace with everyone we meet…… God loves you all and so do I!!

  9. ash

    you know what all you people who get all worked up about the anti-christian jokes need to lighten up. its not like you have never laughed about someone else’s religion & someone got offenended by it. & besides if you cant laugh at yourself then you have no place to laugh at anyone else.

  10. sharbi ull

    you must be laughing your stupidity people!!how can someone calling God nonsense make you laugh??dont we have limit to our humors?dare not talk about Islam cause we have no room for stupidity.we do isolate them.do i make myself clear?i dont need your nod…

  11. Jay

    I am a Christian but I am not religios, I have an active and living relationship with God, who by the way, has a brilliant sense of humour… He made all of you.

  12. james

    well its absolutely 100% correct…i was in the food court at the mall the other day and i overheard an older couple thanking god for the thai way food they were about to eat…i thought to myself…god had fuck all to do with it..that man went to work…earned the cash…went to the mall…asian women made the food and served it to him…think about it.

  13. Chris

    love number 43 by George Carlin, haha.

    btw can you please try and paginate this article, even with a fast internet connection my laptop has a hard time with it.

  14. VW

    dun talk about something u knew othing about, i'm living in indonesia, the biggest muslim country in the world, and the so many coruptor in my country, even my formen president become the no.i coruptor in the world

  15. Friendly Neighbourhood Atheist

    What's with all the “…anti-Christian atheist crap?” Truth, that's what. Open your eyes and see that Christianity = the belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree…

    No one with a modicum of intelligence would actually believe the crap religions present as the unalterable word of god.

  16. God Rocks Ma World

    Wow i hate how people have to say bad things about our creator… GOD!!! U guys are just biting the hand that feeds u…. u guys are so stupid… WOW!!!! Get a life…. What did God ever do to u guys leave the poor guy alone…. i happen to love God more than anything in this world!!!!

  17. Jdc279

    The problem with the bible is that it has been written so many times over the course of history to accommodate the religion that wants to be believe in its word, now i'm not saying god doesn't exist but his word has been changed some many times can you really tell me that every version is correct. I believe in GOD and if and when i get my chance to meet my maker that's when i will get the answers to what his true plan was for my life.

  18. Fherzer

    no one with a gram of education would read something so blindly as to be ignorant of any form of reason and understanding. for instance amore does not just mean love just as athiest does not just mean immoral.

  19. Fherzer

    well i do not believe that the base of what is in todays bibles are wrong but lacking full understanding because not all words are translatable to english. track it back to a broad defining with original language and the overwhelming things of the bible make more sense.

  20. Jeanybean

    Come on. Don't get all offended. There just jokes, and if you don't like them, you shouldn't have read them. And aonther thing, don't go blaming these people for those jokes (The people who comment ) If they think it's funny, IT”S FUNNY TO THEM. Seriously, they did not write the jokes, other people did, so just calm down and laugh a little bit.

  21. Jeanybean

    Come on. Don't get all offended. There just jokes, and if you don't like them, you shouldn't have read them. And aonther thing, don't go blaming these people for those jokes (The people who comment ) If they think it's funny, IT”S FUNNY TO THEM. Seriously, they did not write the jokes, other people did, so just calm down and laugh a little bit.

  22. Shylum

    I think the issue is that some people on here are commenting on them. Why do people have a problem with those of us that believe in God and those of us that want to worship him? Those of you that do NOT believe in God..well then that is your right. However, think about this. If us Christians are wrong about God and Heaven and Hell, then we have nothing to fear, but for those of you that DONT believe..if YOU are wrong about what you believe…then..well..You have everything to fear. IT seems to be that there are more people bashing God and Christians nowadays because they feel threatened for some reason and just the mere mention of God's name sends them into a tizzy. -shrugs- Just my observation.

  23. Shylum

    God gave them the ability to make the food. God gave men the intelligence to make it….you get the idea. Would you be saying that if someone was thanking oh i don't know….Buddah for the food they were about to eat..or some other worthless statue?

  24. blessan

    poop on ur pants
    and freakin clean ur keesters after…hell with u all athiests n the reward for all this is gonna be HELL, all u sob’s….why take religion in b|w ur pj’s which u wanna make senseless people laugh…???i don’t find em funny at all,but i happened to bloody go through this crap…

    1. steve

      The most intelligent thing said so far, Seriously guys…..Do you believe by “defending” your religion it gets you into like the VIP room in heaven?? God is NOT reading this forum, Im sure if God exists he is more concerned about the fucked up shit that goes on in the world today than someone making christianity jokes…..Get a life!!!

  25. JJ

    You forgot this one: When Rickey Henderson broke the all-time stolen base record they decided to give him a microphone…and this is the exact quote.

    “Lou Brock was the symbol of great base stealing, but today I am the greatest of all-time. Thank you.”

    Cracks me up every time!

  26. bobby

    I was reading all the posts and realized that this entire arguement, that’s all it was, was to prove that one side was the correct one and that the other one is completly wrong and the person should be punished for believing it. The basic message that should be passed whether the atheists like it or not, are the ten commandments, they are just the basic rules for people to live by and advance as a people. Thou shall not kill, thou shall not covidt thy neighbor’s wife, etc. Sounds like a a good set of guidelines to me. If there is no higher power, that doesn’t mean that people should go around killing eachother just because. To the other side of the coin, religion should not be forced upon people, the original idea was that God and the other aspects must be willingly accepted to have any actual meaning. People are aloud to believe what they want. I personally believe that there is a higher power and that my spirit will go somewhere when I die. It just doesn’t sit right with me that I would fade into nothing when I die, but I think that’s where the original idea of heaven came from. Other people must be curious or even afraid of where they are going to end up, so they might have invented it to appease tehy’re uncertainty, which is completely understandable. Or it does exsist and I might go there. The big, big, big, big detail to this is that I will have to die to find out the truth. I can’t really say that I’m in a hurry to find out whether it exsists or not. So all I ask is that people do not let their beliefs interfere with us being good people with ourselves and others.

    1. Luke

      your right man, religion should Never be forced on anyone but be a choice. If you believe in a higher power, you could just ask God if he is real and also to prove his existence and show you the meaning of this life. If you ask him and he is real, he will reveal himself. But as i said its your choice to believe in what you want

  27. Chill65

    Good quotes, as for the religion factor……you religious people need to chill out. Just cause some believe in evolution doesn’t mean you have to shove your beliefs down our throats, we don’t shove ours down yours.
    On a side note, religion is the cause of most of the wars that have ever taken place in history, a lot of people killed just for being different. It’s sad.

  28. Madhav

    Good Quotes. I know this is a very old thread but I would like to add just one message.

    Men have religion. God doesn’t.
    Follow religion for society. Follow your heart for GOD.

    The moment you learn the difference… You will neither complain about GOD nor Religion.

  29. God Lives In Me

    Being christian means being like Jesus. This means not being quick to anger and being full of charity in all that you do. Charity is a demonstration of love. God is shown with actions more than words. God is love. When I think about the source everything was made from Him so that makes all materials, including the sun, moon and earth of God. We are temples and these bodies are God’s. Our soul and spirit are of our own. Being christian is refraining from judgement and showing Christ’s love with actions. I can say I’m christian all day and make myself look foolish, or I can let my actions do the talking.

  30. losingcaloriesnow

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  31. Tanya N

    You unfortunate fool. You watch someone on TV who seems to know what they’re talking about and you automatically believe it.

    I am a Christian but I am not a religious person.

    *Being Christian is a spiritual experience which makes you grow as a person and understand what it truly is to be a human being

    *Being religious is doing something repetitively- boring!

    *Immediately believing what people say (because it gets some of your tiny brain cells ticking) is being naive and a TOOL!

    Wake up to YOUR arrogance… you tool!

  32. Tanya N

    I just noticed that you call yourself ‘Intelligent Man’ which made me laugh!

    Refer to my below comment to another retard similar to yourself:

    You are truly a fool! I feel sorry for you and the many others like you because your supposed ‘intelligence’ is only limited to what you know right now, what you have been taught and your experiences up until the current time.

    True intelligence is the ability to confess the possibility of a truth beyond your current understanding.

    Have you ever heard someone say ‘If I could turn back time I would do things differently’?

    Why do you think this is such a common statement? Because back then you didn’t know what you know now, and what you will know in the future, you do not know right now, so how does that make you an intelligent person (according to your understanding of the word)?

    Do you know what the definition of intelligence is? The definition of intelligence is ‘the CAPACITY for understanding’ this means that you do not necessarily have to understand or comprehend or believe something but admit the possibility of it.

    An intelligent person is someone who confesses that they do not know everything. But you’ve got it all worked out don’t you?

    People like you are ones who learn things the hard way, by the truth slapping you in the face when you least expected it to and when it is too late. You move on from that a much wiser person but only up until that time and you still refuse to accept any reality beyond what is in your little head.

    And again before you know it……SLAP!

    I dare you to just try and put aside your selfishness, stop listening to what the world is telling you and experience the true God for yourself, you will be forever changed- you will gain intelligence.

    ~ Intelligent Christian (who does not know everything)

  33. Luke

    i dont want to rebuke you but jesus said whoever calls anyone a fool(or tool for that matter) is in danger of hell fire. You dont have to judge people for not believing in God, because its their choice nor is it a good way to represent christians.

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