If You’re Going to Die, Do It Differently

Written by Geordie Janner

We all shrug off our mortal coil eventually. Whilst we all look forward to a long and happy life, there are some unfortunate souls who leave this world with a touch of humor. If you’re gonna go, go out in style!

Lifeguards On Duty

In New Orleans more than 100 lifeguards threw a party to celebrate their first year without any tragedies. While they were partying, one of the guests, who was not a life saver, fell into the swimming pool fully clothed and drowned, even though four lifeguards were supposed to be on duty at the time!

Man and Machine In Harmony

In Japan, Kenji Urada was killed when a robot at the Kawasaki factory where he worked mistook his head for a component that needed tightening up. Ouch.

Think You Can Beat Me?

Chess Grandmaster Gudkov checkmated a computer three times in a row at a public tournament in Moscow. The next time he touched the machine it got it’s revenge by electrocuting him.

Out For A Morning Run

A naked man running across New York’s Brooklyn bridge singing “Oh what a beautiful morning!” was run over by a car and killed.

Don’t Laugh On A Full Stomach

A bricklayer from Kings Lynn, Norfolk, died laughing while watching the TV comedy The Goodies. He had recently eaten, and after 25 minutes of laughing on a full stomach his heart failed while he was watching a fight between a set of bagpipes and a black pudding.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Sam Davidovitch sipped a glass of wine and asked the band to play his favourite song in a restaurant in Tel Aviv. “This is how I want to die” he said, “with a glass of wine in my hand while the band plays my tune.” Then he got up to dance with his wife, sang the words? and dropped dead of a heart attack.

Are You Sure That Being A Veggie Is Healthy?

Victor Villenti, 50, was a strict vegetarian, and forced his family to follow the same regime. While jogging in 1991 he was killed by an eight pound frozen leg of lamb which fell from a third-story window.

Homer Simpson: Take Note

A doughnut was the weapon of choice used by nursing home owner Carol Detlaff, 58, of St. Joseph, Michigan. She became upset when Gladys Mulhern, 59, was playing with her food after the other residents had finished, and stuffed the doughnut into her mouth, causing her to choke to death.

Fishing is a Peaceful Pastime…

Spanish Angler, Maria Cista, 56, was trying to free the hook from a fish’s mouth when the fish jumped out of her hand and into her mouth. She choked to death as it wriggled down her throat.

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