Archive | April, 2008

20+ Vista Features that Harvest User Data for Microsoft

Written by Marius Oiaga

Forget about the WGA! 20+ Windows Vista Features and Services Harvest User Data for Microsoft – From your machine!

Are you using Windows Vista? Then you might as well know that the licensed operating system installed on your machine is harvesting a healthy volume of information for Microsoft. In this context, a program such as the Windows Genuine Advantage is the last of your concerns. In fact, in excess of 20 Windows Vista features and services are hard at work collecting and transmitting your personal data to the Redmond company.

Microsoft makes no secret about the fact that Windows Vista is gathering information. End users have little to say, and no real choice in the matter. The company does provide both a Windows Vista Privacy Statement and references within the End User License Agreement for the operating system. Combined, the resources paint the big picture over the extent of Microsoft’s end user data harvest via Vista.

Reading Between the EULA Lines

Together with Windows Vista, Microsoft also provides a set of Internet-based services, for which it has reserved full control, including alteration and cancellation at any given time. The Internet-based services in Vista “coincidentally” connect to Microsoft and to “service provider
computer systems.” Depending on the specific service, users may or may not receive a separate notification of the fact that their data is being collected and shared. The only way to prevent this is to know the specific services and features involved and to either switch them off or not use them.

The alternative? Well, it’s written in the Vista license agreement. “By using these features, you consent to the transmission of this information. Microsoft does not use the information to identify or contact you.”

The Redmond company emphasized numerous times the fact that all information collected is not used to identify or contact users. But could it? Oh yes! All you have to know is that Microsoft could come knocking on your door as soon as you boot Windows Vista for the first time if you consider the system’s computer information harvested. Microsoft will get your “Internet protocol address, the type of operating system, browser and name and version of the software you are using, and the language code of the device where you installed the software.” But all they really need is your IP address.

What’s Covered in the Vista License?

Windows Update, Web Content, Digital Certificates, Auto Root Update, Windows Media Digital Rights Management, Windows Media Player, Malicious Software Removal/Clean On Upgrade, Network Connectivity Status Icon, Windows Time Service, and the IPv6 Network Address Translation (NAT) Traversal service (Teredo) are the features and services that collect and deliver data to Microsoft from Windows Vista. By using any of these items, you agree to share your information with the Redmond Company. Microsoft says that users have the possibility to disable or not use the features and services altogether. But at the same time Windows update is crucial to the security of Windows Vista, so turning it off is not really an option, is it?

Windows Vista will contact Microsoft to get the right hardware drivers, to provide web-based “clip art, templates, training, assistance and Appshelp,” to access digital software certificates designed “confirm
the identity of Internet users sending X.509 standard encrypted information” and to refresh the catalog with trusted certificate authorities. Of course that the Windows Vista Digital Rights Management could not miss from a list of services that contact Microsoft on a regular basis. If you want access to protected content, you will also have to let the Windows Media Digital Rights Management talk home. Windows Media Player in Vista for example, will look for codecs, new versions and local online music services.

The Malicious Software Removal tool will report straight to Microsoft with both the findings of your computer scan, but also any potential errors. Also, in an effort to enable the transition to IPv6 from IPv4, “by default standard Internet Protocol information will be sent to the Teredo service at
Microsoft at regular intervals.”

Had Enough? I Didn’t Think So!

Microsoft has an additional collection of 47 Windows Vista features and services that collect user data. However, not all phone home and report to Microsoft. Although the data collection process is generalized across the list, user information is also processed and kept on the local machine, leaving just approximately 50% of the items to both harvest data and contact Microsoft. Still, Microsoft underlined the fact that the list provided under the Windows Vista Privacy Statement is by no means exhaustive, nor does it apply to all the company’s websites, services and products.

Activation, Customer Experience Improvement Program (CEIP), Device Manager, Driver Protection, Dynamic Update, Event Viewer, File Association Web Service, Games Folder, Error Reporting for Handwriting Recognition, Input Method Editor (IME), Installation Improvement Program, Internet Printing, Internet Protocol version 6 Network Address Translation Traversal, Network Awareness (somewhat), Parental Controls, Peer Name Resolution Service, Plug and Play, Plug and Play Extensions, Program Compatibility Assistant, Program Properties-Compatibility Tab, Program Compatibility Wizard, Properties, Registration, Rights Management Services (RMS) Client, Update Root Certificates, Windows Control Panel, Windows Help, Windows Mail (only with Windows Live Mail, Hotmail, or MSN Mail) and Windows Problem Reporting are the main features and services in Windows Vista that collect and transmit user data to Microsoft.

This extensive enumeration is not a complete illustration of all the sources in Windows Vista that Microsoft uses to gather end user data. However, it is more than sufficient to raise serious issues regarding user privacy. The Redmond company has adopted a very transparent position when it comes to the information being collected from its users. But privacy, much in the same manner as virtualization, is not mature enough and not sufficiently enforced through legislation. Microsoft itself is one of the principal contributors to the creation of a universal user privacy model.

The activation process will give the company product key information together with a “hardware hash, which is a non-unique number generated from the computer’s hardware configuration” but no personal information. The Customer Experience Improvement Program (CEIP) is optional, and designed to improve software quality. Via the Device Manager, Microsoft has access to all the information related to your system configuration in order to provide the adequate drivers. Similarly, Dynamic Update offers your computer’s hardware info to Microsoft for compatible drivers.

Event Viewer data is collected every time the users access the Event Log Online Help link. By using the File Association Web Service, Microsoft will receive a list with the file name extensions. Metadata related to the games that you have installed in Vista also finds its way to Microsoft. The Error Reporting for Handwriting Recognition will only report to Microsoft if the user expressly desires it to. Through IME Word Registration, Microsoft will receive Word registration reports. Users have to choose to participate in the Installation Improvement Program before any data is sent over at Microsof.

Ever used a print server hosted by Microsoft? Then the company collected your data through Internet Printing. Network Awareness is in a league of its own. It does not premeditatedly store of send directly information to Microsoft, but it makes data available to other services involving network connectivity, and that do access the Redmond company. Via Parental Controls, not only you but also Microsoft will monitor all the visited URLs of your offspring.

Hashes of your Peer Name tied to your IP address are published and periodically refreshed on a Microsoft server, courtesy of the Peer Name Resolution Service. Every time you install a Plug and Play device, you tell Microsoft about it in order to get the necessary device drivers. The same is the case for PnP-X enabled device, only that Windows Update is more actively involved in this case.

The Program Compatibility Assistant is designed to work together with the Microsoft Error Reporting Service, to highlight to Microsoft potential incompatibility errors. For every example of compatibility settings via the Compatibility tab, Microsoft receives an error report. The Program Compatibility Wizard deals with similar issues related to application incompatibility. File properties are sent to Microsoft only with the item that they are associated with.

You can also volunteer your name, email address, country and even address to Microsoft through the registration process. A service such as the Rights Management Services (RMS) Client can only function in conjunction with your email address.

All the queries entered into the Search box included in the Windows Vista Control Panel will be sent to Microsoft with your consent. The Help Experience Improvement Program also collects and sends information to Microsoft. As does Windows Mail when the users access Windows Live Mail, Hotmail, or MSN Mail. And the Windows Problem Reporting is a service with a self explanatory name.

But is this all? Not even by a long shot. Windows Genuine Advantage, Windows Defender, Support Services, Windows Media Center and Internet Explorer 7 all collect and transmit user data to Microsoft. Don’t want them to? Then simply turn them off, or use alternative programs when possible or stop using some services altogether. Otherwise, when your consent is demanded, you can opt for NO.

What Happens to My Data?

Only God and Microsoft know the answer to that. And I have a feeling that God is going right now “Hey, don’t get me involved in this! I have enough trouble as it is trying to find out the release date for Windows Vista Service Pack 1 and Windows Seven!”

Generally speaking, Microsoft is indeed transparent – up to a point – about how it will handle the data collected from your Vista machine. “The personal information we collect from you will be used by Microsoft and its controlled subsidiaries and affiliates to provide the service(s) or carry out the transaction(s) you have requested or authorized, and may also be used to request additional information on feedback that you provide about the product or service that you are using; to provide important notifications regarding the software; to improve the product or service, for example bug and survey form inquiries; or to provide you with advance notice of events or to tell you about new product releases,” reads a fragment of the Windows Vista Privacy Statement.

But could Microsoft turn the data it has collected against you? Of course, what did you think? “Microsoft may disclose personal information about you if required to do so by law or in the good faith belief that such action is necessary to: (a) comply with the law or legal process served on Microsoft; (b) protect and defend the rights of Microsoft (including enforcement of our agreements); or (c) act in urgent circumstances to protect the personal safety of Microsoft employees, users of Microsoft software or services, or members of the public,” reveals another excerpt.

And you thought that it was just you… and your Windows Vista. Looks like a love triangle to me… with Microsoft in the mix.

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If Juno Was 10 Times Shorter and 100 Times More Honest

Written by Rod Hilton This article is come from cracked.com

On Saturdays, we ask some of our favorite sites on the web to fill in for
us. You get to learn about an awesome site you may not have heard
of, and we get to watch cartoons in our boxers. Today we’re bringing
you an abridged version of the screenplay for Oscar winner Juno, as
provided by Rod Hilton, creator of The-Editing-Room.com.

FADE IN:

EXT. SOME SMALL TOWN

ELLEN PAGE guzzles SUNNY D as some obnoxious INDIE SONG
blares in the background so that everyone knows that this is
an intellectual, independent film.

She enters a convenience store and meets RAINN WILSON.

ELLEN PAGE

I need to use the bathroom, as I’ve been downing delicious, high-quality Sunny Delight for the past hour.

RAINN WILSON

Sunny Delight? You mean the delicious orange-flavored drink containing a full day’s supply of vitamin C in every serving?

ELLEN PAGE

That’s right! I found it in the fridge, behind the purple stuff! Now relinquish the bathroom key geeves, I for shizz need to spout.

RAINN WILSON

I can barely understand you. Is there a reason you’re talking like what seems like a teenager designed by a committee of adults that have researched youth by watching MTV around the clock?

ELLEN PAGE

Yes, and you better start talking like that too or you’ll have no place in the movie, Dwight.

RAINN WILSON

Oh, er, uh, I mean that’s one doodle that can’t be undid homeskillet oh my god I need a new agent.

ELLEN PAGE

You’re so quirky! And so am I!

ELLEN pisses on a pregnancy test and it tells her that she’s PREGNANT as well as PRECOCIOUS.

ELLEN PAGE

This sucks. The only thing left to do is walk home morosely while yet another obnoxious indie song blares.

ELLEN walks home, then calls her friend OLIVIA THIRLBY.

ELLEN PAGE

Hey Olivia. So I’m pregs for real.

OLIVIA THIRLBY

OhMyGodLikeForRealForRealPregs?

ELLEN PAGE

Holy crap, what the hell are you saying? Did someone encrypt your copy of the script or something?

OLIVIA THIRLBY

YouShouldTotallyGetAnAToTheBortion.

ELLEN PAGE

Yeah. First I need you to help me salvage the chair I lost my virginity in, which is on a lawn for some reason that is almost definitely quirky.

They take the chair, then ELLEN sets up an entire living room
set in front of MICHAEL CERA’S HOME.

MICHAEL CERA

Ellen, hey. I like the couch on my front sidewalk, it’s incredibly quirky of you.

ELLEN PAGE

Yeah, well I’m pretty quirky.



MICHAEL CERA

So what are you doing here? Do you need someth-

ELLEN PAGE

Wait, hold on. Your track team is about to come running by and I need to do a voiceover narration for no particularly reason, even though I only do it like three more times in the entire movie.

ELLEN PAGE (V.O.)

Whenever I see the track team, I can’t help but picture their penises, because doing so allows me to explain that fact in a voiceover narration that I can end with the very hip term “pork swords.”

ELLEN PAGE

Alright, sorry about that. What were we talking about? Oh right, I’m pregnant and it’s yours.

MICHAEL CERA

Rather than freak the hell out like a typical high school student, I’m going to sputter around for words awkwardly and barely finish complete sentences. It’s kind of my thing.

ELLEN calls an ABORTION CLINIC to make an appointment.

CLINIC RECEPTIONIST (O.S.)

Crimson River Abortion Clinic, how may I help you?

ELLEN PAGE

Hi. I’d like to make an appointment for an abortion. Oh wait hang on my Hamburger Phone is acting up.

(shakes phone)

Alright, there we go.

CLINIC RECEPTIONIST (O.S.)

Alright, well just come in any time and we can tak-

ELLEN PAGE

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don’t think you heard me. I’m talking on a HAMBURGER PHONE. How zany is that? That’s for shizz quirky.



ELLEN goes to the CLINIC and signs in. Another INDIE SONG
blares over the scene to make sure you remember that you are
supporting INDEPENDENT CINEMA by watching this movie.

CLINIC RECEPTIONIST

Please sign in here. Do you want a free condom? They make my boyfriend’s penis taste like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

ELLEN PAGE

Wow, what a completely quirky and inappropriate thing to say to a complete stranger!

CLINIC RECEPTIONIST

I know, right!?

ELLEN suddenly runs out of the CLINIC and visits her friend
OLIVIA.

OLIVIA THIRLBY

WhatAreYouDoingOhMiGod?

ELLEN PAGE

I decided I want to keep the baby so that I can star in a wholly overrated independent film about a teenager giving her baby to a childless couple.

ELLEN sits down to talk to her father and stepmother.

ELLEN PAGE

So, I’m pregnant.

J.K. SIMMONS

WHAT YOU’RE FUCKING 16 WHAT THE FU-

ELLEN PAGE

Dad, you’re in an indie flick, remember?

J.K. SIMMONS

Oh right. Sorry, I didn’t mean to blow up, I meant to make a dry, sarcastic remark.

ALLISON JANNEY

And I’d like to follow that up with a second barb.

ELLEN PAGE

It’s Michael Cera’s. The kid from Arrested Development.

J.K. SIMMONS

Huh. I didn’t think he had it in him.

ELLEN PAGE

What, sperm?

ELLEN goes ahead with her pregnancy and the movie SAVED plays
out with fewer jokes and more pretentiousness.

ELLEN finds a couple to adopt her kid: JASON BATEMAN and
JENNIFER GARNER. ELLEN goes to meet them.

JENNIFER GARNER

We’re so happy you’d consider us despite the fact that I starred in Elektra.

JASON BATEMAN

So who is the father of the little bastard?

ELLEN PAGE

Oh, just this awkward, typecast kid at school named Michael Cera.

JASON BATEMAN

No shit? He played my son on Arrested Development. I look forward to the scene in this movie that reunites us for the first time since the show was canceled, which is sure to be a real pleasure for fans.

That scene NEVER HAPPENS. ELLEN agrees to give her kid to
JENNIFER and JASON.

TIME PASSES and MORE INDIE ROCK MUSIC PLAYS. ELLEN
goes through the various scenes that movies about pregnant
people are obligated to include.

She visits JASON BATEMAN.

JASON BATEMAN

Hey Ellen. Want to watch some indie horror films and listen to some indie music together?

ELLEN PAGE

That sounds great! I sure hope that watching the movie isn’t interrupted by me having to go puke my guts out, sweaty and hunched over the toilet.

(pause)

Just kidding, none of that crap happens in the movie. Pregnancy is easy-peasy.

JASON BATEMAN

Well, I have good news. I’m leaving Jennifer Garner.

ELLEN PAGE

Why, because your marriage to her has robbed you of your youth, which you have been reminded of since you started hanging around with me?

JASON BATEMAN

No, I just rented 13 Going On 30. I can’t even look at her now. Has she been in anything good?

ELLEN PAGE

Oh. Because if it was the other thing, then you could take notice of the fact that I remind you of your younger days despite the fact that my current predicament requires a level of maturity far beyond my years, and you could enjoy the contrast between our situations that is ironically illustrated by having us both get along so well.

JASON BATEMAN

How artistic!

ELLEN PAGE

You’re goddamn right it is! Bring on the Oscars!

LIVEJOURNAL: THE MOVIE continues. JASON abandons JENNIFER
GARNER. ELLEN page gives birth while some more INDIE
MUSIC plays.

JENNIFER GARNER

Yay, now I get to raise an adopted kid in a broken home so that I can be overly protective and insane.

ELLEN PAGE

And I passed all of my classes and everything! Pregnancy is as unobtrusive as it is without consequence!

MICHAEL CERA

So now that you popped the kid out, I think we’re in love with each other. What should we do to express our love? Make out? Have sex again? Go buy seasons one through three of Arrested Development?

ELLEN PAGE

Have you been watching a different movie? We should play yet more indie music together.



They DO. EVERYONE convinces themselves they loved the movie
so that they don’t feel STUPID.

END

For more scripts that are funnier and less-time consuming than watching a movie,
head to The-Editing-Room.com.

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7 endings that completely flipped (off) the script

Written by Aaron_Koehn


Hollywood is an incredible place where modern day storytellers go to weave tales of fantasy and wonderment. This enchanting destination allows noted and gifted filmmakers to work for years perfecting very personal sagas, only to then rashly conform to the opinions of a small group of nitwits (i.e. test audiences), and force unwanted artistic compromises. However, on occasion the nitwits can be right, and below we’ve listed 7 occasions where, at the request of test audiences, alternate endings were created. Was the decision to alter these films correct? You decide, as we present 7 endings that completely flipped (off) the script.


7-1408


The theatrical ending in 1408 involved John Cusak’s ghost-debunking-writer character eventually escaping from his self-induced fiery hotel room, and returning to more respected writing while reconciling with his estranged wife. Overall, it’s a fairly happy ending and it leaves us, the viewers with the thought: man 1, ghosts 0. But in the original and now alternate ending, we find that the director initially had other plans. Darker plans. Cliché plans. Remember in The Shinning when Jack Nicholson’s character eventually dies at the haunted hotel, and we later find out that his ghost is now a permanent fixture at the hotel? Well, that was how this movie was originally going to end as well. In this version, after setting his room ablaze, Mr. Cusak is unable to escape and he perishes in his hot, haunted room. This results in his addition to the place’s ever-growing ghost collection. I’d yell plagiarism if Stephen King wasn’t responsible for writing both.


6-Army of Darkness


When director Sam Raimi first shot Army of Darkness, it included a vastly different ending which to his (and star, Bruce Campell’s) dismay, was panned by test screen audiences. As a result, Universal (the production company) decided that since test audiences are generally made up of brilliant film experts, their word should probably be taken over the wishes of the filmmakers. Consequently, a new ending was ordered, shot, and then attached to this cult classic, and for years we were none the wiser. Until word broke that a new director’s cut was to be released on DVD, which included the original, uncut ending that had been removed at the request of those test screeners. This caused Evil Dead fanatics worldwide to clamor for the head’s of those audience members. And it wasn’t until the DVD was released, the new ending was viewed, and the fanatics shrugged their shoulders apathetically, that the test screeners breathed a sigh of relief.



5-I Am Legend


While the film largely doesn’t come even close to the quality of the book, there is one ending that remained more true to the spirit of the novel. And of course, that ending was the one that wasn’t attached to the theatrical release. The pro of the theatrical ending is that the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air blows himself up in an attempt to destroy an irate, agile vampire. The con of the theatrical ending is that the title, I am Legend, now stands for something that is in no way reminiscent of what it meant in the book. In fact, to even call this movie I am Legend, or claim that it’s based on the book seems pretty farfetched. Ultimately though, the alternate ending comes closer to encompassing what the story originally intended, and for that we should give it a thumbs up. Unfortunately, in this original ending, the man who was born and raised in west Philadelphia, and who spent most of his days chillin’ out, maxin’ and relaxin’ on the playground, escapes without a scratch. And that’s less entertaining.


4-The Butterfly Effect


Categorized as a thriller, the only thing that might thrill you regarding this movie is the prospect of Ashton Kutcher trying to act serious. The alternate ending, which differs greatly from the original in the fact that Mr. Kutcher commits suicide, is remarkable for one reason: the hilarious shot of an embryonic Ashton raising his umbilical cord to his throat and then strangling himself with it. After that, we are treated to the cliché Hollywood happy ending, where everyone involved in Kutcher’s life is now better off, thanks in no small part to this infant hari-kari. I certainly hope there aren’t any depressed embryos out there, who after seeing (or maybe hearing is more realistic) this alternate conclusion, think about ending their lives before they’ve really begun. Is there such a thing as prenatal Prozac?


3-The Astronaut’s Wife


The climactic final confrontation between a pregnant Charlize Theron and an alien-possessed Johnny Depp is the subject of this alternate ending. In the new conclusion (seen below), it appears that Charlize escapes from the battle with her one-time human husband unscathed — excluding the mental trauma one suffers from alien impregnation. However, that’s not the case in the theatrical release, where, after Johnny Depp cooks from Theron’s ingenious electrocution ploy, he briefly returns to alien form, a form which includes transparent tentacles. After this brief alien emergence, we then see said transparent tentacles shoot into Charlize’s eyes, leading the viewer to believe she is now the new host for this see-through Martian. And if you can tell me what’s more terrifying than an alien-possessed single mother who is pregnant with twins, then you’re probably a genius who has a very bright future ahead of you, because that is, by definition, horrifying.


2-Clerks


The directorial debut from cult filmmaker Kevin Smith at one time had an extremely different and discordant ending. Instead of the reconciliation of the protagonist Dante with his friend Randal, Dante is murdered, the store is robbed, and then the credits roll. The humorous tone that had been so prominent throughout the movie was quickly discarded for a final shot which included a close-up of Dante’s bloody hands and his lifeless face. It’s easy to see why so many people thought this ending seemed out of character and unnecessary. And certainly, in reflection, Kevin Smith has to be glad he re-shot it, since Clerks 2, Mallrats, and Clerks the series would not have been possible with that conclusion. If there is one thing we can learn from all of these forced ending re-shoots, it’s that the public doesn’t like to walk out of movies depressed. Especially not when they thought they were seeing a comedy.


1-Terminator 2: Judgment Day


As originally envisioned, this epilogue would have followed the scene where evil terminator T-1000 gets blasted into a vat of molten lava, and a sad Arnold Schwarzenegger gives a thumbs up while being lowered into a similar vat, with the intent of adding closure to the story. Wisely, this ending was dropped since its tone felt oddly out of place compared to the prior 137 minutes of robot-on-human violence. This epilogue–which seems somewhat reminiscent of a commercial for elderly medication, a la Boniva–details Sarah Connor’s now happy future, complete with grandchildren and Michael Jackson references. In it, Ms. Connor–doing her best old-age voice impersonation–describes how humanity dodged a big bullet thanks to her and no one even knows it. To be honest, what I think this ending is really saying is that this crazy 2-hour robot war we all just watched was actually just an absurd concoction of a senile senior citizen.

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