{"id":3783,"date":"2011-03-27T23:59:49","date_gmt":"2011-03-28T06:59:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/?p=3783"},"modified":"2011-03-28T01:18:24","modified_gmt":"2011-03-28T08:18:24","slug":"tech-support-like-a-boss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2011\/03\/27\/tech-support-like-a-boss\/","title":{"rendered":"Tech support…LIKE A BOSS"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by notalwaysright<\/a><\/p>\n

(I work engineering support late in the evening.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> \u201cPennsylvania Support Center. How may I help you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> \u201cThe cleaning crew just came through my office, and now my mouse doesn\u2019t work. The cursor just jumps all over the screen randomly when I move it. They broke my mouse. I need a new one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> \u201cYou have a SPARCstation with an optical mouse, correct?\u201d<\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> \u201cYes, with the cool glass mouse-pad.\u201d<\/p>\n

(Old-school optical mice used to require special reflective mouse-pads with grids etched into their surfaces. To increase tracking resolution, the vertical and horizontal grids had slightly different spacing.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> \u201cDid the cleaning crew wipe down your desk?\u201d<\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> \u201cDid they move your mouse-pad?\u201d<\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> \u201cWhat does that have to do with anything?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> \u201cDid your mouse-pad get rotated? Is the long edge of the mouse-pad now parallel to the edge of your desk?\u201d<\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> \u201cI really don\u2019t see why that\u2019s relevant. I just want a new mouse!\u201d<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> \u201cThe orientation of the mouse-pad matters. The\u2013\u201d<\/p>\n

(The caller cuts me off and starts to yell. I realize that I can actually hear his voice coming from down the hall.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> \u201cListen! Just open a ticket and have someone bring me a new mouse. I don\u2019t have time for this. I design chips, so I know what I\u2019m talking about. I probably designed the chip in the phone you\u2019re stuck answering all day!\u201d<\/p>\n

(I take off my headset, walk down the hall, and walk into his office up to his desk.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> \u201c\u2026so don\u2019t try to bulls*** me with, oh. Hold on, someone is in my office.\u201d<\/p>\n

(I reach down, and rotate his mouse-pad 90 degrees. I move the mouse, and the cursor happily moves around the screen as expected. I walk out of his office, back down the hall, sit down at my desk, and put my headset back on.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> *silence*<\/em><\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> \u201cThank you for calling Pennsylvania Support Center. I trust I have resolved your case.\u201d<\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> *silence*<\/em><\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> \u201cYou will be receiving your ticket number via email. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Caller:<\/strong> *click*<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

Bonus?Tech support…LIKE A BOSS<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by notalwaysright (I work engineering support late in the evening.) Me: \u201cPennsylvania Support Center. How may I help you?\u201d Caller: \u201cThe cleaning crew just came through my office, and now my mouse doesn\u2019t work. The cursor just jumps all over the screen randomly when I move it. They broke my mouse. I need a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3783"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3783"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3783\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3784,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3783\/revisions\/3784"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}