{"id":2460,"date":"2010-09-17T21:34:57","date_gmt":"2010-09-18T04:34:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/?p=2460"},"modified":"2010-09-17T21:34:57","modified_gmt":"2010-09-18T04:34:57","slug":"top-20-items-to-lock-down-when-you-move-to-a-new-city","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2010\/09\/17\/top-20-items-to-lock-down-when-you-move-to-a-new-city\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 20 Items to Lock Down When You Move to a New City"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Eskimo Bro<\/a><\/p>\n

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So I finally got cable TV in my first post-grad apartment this morning and it got me thinking about all the things that you need to lock down when you move into a new city. Although moving sucks, it doesn\u2019t end when you finish unpacking the boxes. Every Bro needs to find certain spots (and a few people) in a new city to make his own \u2014 here’s our list of the top 20 items to put on your priority list.<\/p>\n

BARS<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Neighborhood Bar<\/strong><\/p>\n

Find a local bar that\u2019s near your place where you get to know the regulars, bartenders, and waitresses. Soon enough you\u2019ll be a regular yourself, which will get you free drinks and help you impress the local talent. This is also a great spot to blow off some steam after having to deal with those fucking passive-aggressive emails your boss sends you all day.<\/p>\n

Football Bar<\/strong><\/p>\n

You need to find a bar in your city that supports your hometown NFL squad. This bar will have your team playing every week and it\u2019s always a good time when everyone in the bar is rooting for the opponent\u2019s quarterback to get sacked.<\/p>\n

Alumni Bar<\/strong><\/p>\n

This one\u2019s important. Identify what local bars are hangout spots for your school\u2019s alumni \u2014 especially around football and basketball season. You\u2019ll run into old friends and maybe some alumni with jobs to peddle. You might even cross paths with that chick from college that you always wanted to bang and hopefully now you can now that you have a job and a little bit of money.<\/p>\n

Late-Night Drinks<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing like those late nights back in the dorm room or frat house you used to have in college. Sure, every now and again you\u2019ll get a solid gathering back at your post-grad apartment to drink yourself into oblivion, but this does not happen often. You need to find a bar that is open late, later than they legally should be. Plus, any girl you can find out after 4 a.m. without an arm already around her shoulder is definitely DTF.<\/p>\n

Brunch Spot<\/strong><\/p>\n

Finding a cool brunch spot is a great way to get your Fraturdays and Fundays back. I\u2019m not really even talking about finding a place to eat, although those are especially important for morning afters. You should be able to find a day-drinking extravaganza spot that serves solid food as well.<\/p>\n

FOOD SPOTS<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Breakfast\/Coffee Spot (or Cart)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Try to find a coffee shop that\u2019s on the way to the office. Look for a place with fast service and minimal lines. Hot baristas don\u2019t hurt either.<\/p>\n

\u2018Go-To\u2019 Lunch Spot<\/strong><\/p>\n

Working sucks (unless you work for BroBible) and you need a spot to get away for an hour or at least a few minutes. Find a place near your office that has solid and affordable food and get to know the people who work there.<\/p>\n

Pizza Place<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pizza is a great source of fuel for bros. It\u2019s cheap and fucking delicious. Don\u2019t cop out and order Domino\u2019s when you\u2019re looking for a slice. Find a good pizza spot around your place \u2014 it doesn\u2019t hurt if it\u2019s open late and they deliver (most obviously do).<\/p>\n

Takeout\/Delivery Spot(s)<\/strong><\/p>\n

A great delivery place is a Sunday hangover\u2019s best friend (besides weed). It\u2019s essential to have a great sando or General Tsao\u2019s only a phone call away.<\/p>\n

Late-Night Food Spot<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unfortunately, after college there isn\u2019t always a wide variety of late-night restaurants open to satisfy your drunken munchies. However, there are usually a couple places open late depending on what city you live in. Identify these spots early and continue with your late night-plastered meal shenanigans.<\/p>\n

IMPRESS THE LADIES<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Dog Park<\/strong><\/p>\n

The local dog park is a hot bed of local talent. Even if you don\u2019t have a dog, borrow a friend\u2019s and go try to meet chicks at the dog run. Most likely, if her dog lets your dog hump it, she will let you hump her later.<\/p>\n

Date Spot<\/strong><\/p>\n

Up until recently I have been 110% against dating. There is no point to dating in college when there are dozens of sorostitutes throwing themselves at you. Then I graduated (worst decision of my life) and realized you have to get a little more creative than chugging Burnett\u2019s with freshman girls and hoping one of them falls on your dick. Don\u2019t get me wrong, there is still pussy to be had; it just takes a little more finesse. Once you find a girl whose number you actually want to call, she\u2019ll expect some type of date. Find a go-to place like a park, pier, cool rooftop bar, or casual but cozy restaurant to take the keepers.<\/p>\n

Local Slam Piece<\/strong><\/p>\n

Not ready for the dating scene? Don\u2019t worry, I\u2019m not necessarily advocating getting a girlfriend and completely throwing your youth away right after college. But you should definitely try to find a local chick that lets you have regular access to her tits and lower lips without needing to wine and dine her.<\/p>\n

Laundry<\/strong><\/p>\n

Unless you have laundry in your apartment building, you can go one of two ways on this one. If you\u2019re like me and don\u2019t have any patience for doing laundry and are incapable of folding clothes, you should find a cheap and quick wash & fold. If you\u2019re not trying to shell out for the mom-quality fold jobs from your local Asian cleaners, you should try to find a place where there are consistently hot girls doing their laundry. If you can find a hot chick that can fold like the Mexican housekeeper your mom used to hire, make a move and maybe you can get her to do your laundry as well. If you\u2019re wearing a suit to work every day, a trusted dry cleaner \u2014 a place that won\u2019t fuck up your shirts and will take care of stains no questions asked \u2014 is also valuable.<\/p>\n

SPORTS AND WORKING OUT<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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A Place to Play Your Favorite Sport<\/strong><\/p>\n

Whatever your sport is, most cities have a place for you to play it. Join a men\u2019s league, a co-ed (or not) beer league, or find a spot to play pick-up. There\u2019s nothing like playing your favorite sport to keep that competitive edge. Kickball and dodgeball don\u2019t count.<\/p>\n

Gym<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing like a power lift to start your not-so-productive day at work. If you\u2019ve got good \u201cgym game,\u201d you could pick up a local slam piece here, too.<\/p>\n

Run Route<\/strong><\/p>\n

For all you runners out there (myself not included) it\u2019s nice to have a route that you know well to take your daily, weekly, monthly, or annual runs.<\/p>\n

VICES<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Weed Guy<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is one of the first things to lock down when you move to a new city. For you lucky bastards who live in California you can just walk right over to your neighborhood marijuana dispensary. In New York, the delivery services are pretty easy to come across. For everyone else, just keep your ear to the ground and I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll find a guy.<\/p>\n

Strip Club<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s an expensive habit, but being a regular at your favorite strip joint is crucial. I know not everyone loves strip clubs and to be honest I didn\u2019t either; that is until I found myself a nice, classy strip club I could call my own. Get to know the bouncers, waitresses, and especially the strippers. They\u2019ll take care of you if you take care of them.<\/p>\n

Local Rub & Tug<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s nothing like a happy-ending massage after a stressful week at work. Just close your eyes and let the imported Asian college student do the rest.<\/p>\n

Bonus:<\/h3>\n

Being a polymer scientist, I can’t look at porn or nudity. So I have to get creative.<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Being an electrical engineer, I can’t look at porn or nudity. So I have to get creative.<\/h3>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Eskimo Bro So I finally got cable TV in my first post-grad apartment this morning and it got me thinking about all the things that you need to lock down when you move into a new city. Although moving sucks, it doesn\u2019t end when you finish unpacking the boxes. Every Bro needs to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2460"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2460"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2460\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2461,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2460\/revisions\/2461"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2460"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2460"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2460"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}