{"id":2370,"date":"2010-08-26T20:25:05","date_gmt":"2010-08-27T03:25:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/?p=2370"},"modified":"2010-08-26T20:25:05","modified_gmt":"2010-08-27T03:25:05","slug":"12-girls-youll-meet-in-college","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2010\/08\/26\/12-girls-youll-meet-in-college\/","title":{"rendered":"12 Girls You’ll Meet in College"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by thetoiletpaper<\/a><\/p>\n

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Women come in all shapes and sizes. Just ask Oprah. Nowhere is this more true than a college campus. With that in mind, here is TTP\u2019s breakdown of 12 of the girls you\u2019ll meet in college. Gentlemen, choose wisely and choose often. <\/em><\/p>\n

1. The Cheerleader<\/strong> \u2013 A hot blonde chick that only wants to score scholarship athletes. After coming up short with the big boys of basketball and football, she\u2019ll eventually settle in as “equipment manager” for a niche sports team, like rugby.<\/p>\n

2. The Phantom Boyfriend<\/strong> \u2013 A fun, good looking, easy-going gal who\u2019s everything you\u2019re looking for in a mate. Unfortunately, before things ever get cookin\u2019 she sneaks in a comment about her boyfriend who\u2019s at home, at another college, or in the military.<\/p>\n

3. The Courtney Love<\/strong> \u2013 This mess of a broad is a stinky drunk not afraid to do anyone or anything. If you listen close you can almost hear her herpes beckoning you to her loins like the sirens from Greek mythology. Stick with the BJ.<\/p>\n

4. The Friedan<\/strong> \u2013 You can\u2019t take an English class without running into one of these broads. The Friedan loves Charlotte Bronte, may eschew makeup and form fitting clothes, hates this list, and probably despises The Toilet Paper as a whole.<\/p>\n

5. The Chastity Belt<\/strong> \u2013 A girl who\u2019s cute as a button, but never lets loose because she\u2019s too busy with Bible Camp and church choir. More than likely a virgin, or at least a born again virgin. She\u2019s worth keeping an eye on for her final semester, \u201cOh-crap-what-have-I-been-doing-for-three-and-a-half-years breakdown\u201d where she\u2019ll make up for lost time very quickly.<\/p>\n

6. The Rhoda<\/strong> \u2013 Makes a living upstairs. Kiss her, give her hickeys on her neck, juggle her boobs, all good. Anything below the belt and she either smacks the shit out of you or suggests you \u201ctake a break.\u201d Either way run like hell. This broad is either insane or packing a surprise you never want to discover.<\/p>\n

7. The Cialis<\/strong> \u2013 You haven\u2019t been teased like this since the bus ride home after your classmates caught you eating a booger. Whether she\u2019s inviting herself over for a movie night, or getting Danny Devito drunk and making you walk her home, it always seems like you\u2019re one exit away from pound town. Sorry guys, not happening.<\/p>\n

8. The Lesbo Possessive Friend of the Chick You Hook Up With That Hates You<\/strong> \u2013 You\u2019ll know this when you see it. May also be a Friedan.<\/p>\n

9. The Book Worm<\/strong> \u2013 Hobbies include asking questions in class, registering for the GRE, and drinking Diet Cokes at the library. The Book Worm is a close cousin of the Chastity Belt, but for one weekend a semester, right after midterms and before she starts studying for fianls, the Worm leaves the library and lets loose.<\/p>\n

10. The Guarantee<\/strong> \u2013 Usually good looking enough, but often overloaded with baggage. There\u2019s at least one per dorm, if not one per floor. You try to stay away, but then 2 a.m. rolls around and you got squat. Enjoy, but be sure to wrap your rascal and under no circumstances fall in love with her, get in a fight over her, or let her get in the way of other potential scores.<\/p>\n

11. The Non-Conformist<\/strong> \u2013 This gal is hip to the nines with a rugged edge. With a wacky hairdo, overstated make-up and tattooed arm sleeves she exudes hip. However, deep down inside she is nothing more than a little girl with a broken heart who was never kissed in high school. Now as she has blossomed she is looking to score and be a hellcat doing it. Don\u2019t date her, but yes by all means take her camping for a weekend.<\/p>\n

12. The World Cup<\/strong> \u2013 She only comes around once every four years, but one night with her is enough to change your life. There\u2019s no preparing for a W.C., but if you pass her up, she won\u2019t be around again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by thetoiletpaper Women come in all shapes and sizes. Just ask Oprah. Nowhere is this more true than a college campus. With that in mind, here is TTP\u2019s breakdown of 12 of the girls you\u2019ll meet in college. Gentlemen, choose wisely and choose often. 1. The Cheerleader \u2013 A hot blonde chick that only […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2370"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2370"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2370\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2372,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2370\/revisions\/2372"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2370"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2370"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2370"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}