{"id":1792,"date":"2010-05-18T12:47:23","date_gmt":"2010-05-18T19:47:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/?p=1792"},"modified":"2010-05-18T13:59:31","modified_gmt":"2010-05-18T20:59:31","slug":"i-just-want-you-to-hold-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2010\/05\/18\/i-just-want-you-to-hold-me\/","title":{"rendered":"I just want you to hold me"},"content":{"rendered":"

From craigslist<\/a><\/p>\n

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.<\/p>\n

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!”<\/p>\n

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…<\/p>\n

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”<\/p>\n

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”<\/p>\n

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.<\/p>\n

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big<\/p>\n

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.<\/p>\n

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.<\/p>\n

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”<\/p>\n

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.<\/p>\n

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”<\/p>\n

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”<\/p>\n

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?”<\/p>\n

I then said “honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”<\/p>\n

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”<\/p>\n

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either ….but at least that she knows I’m smarter than her.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

source<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From craigslist One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said “WHAT??!! What was that?!” So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1792"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1792"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1792\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1794,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1792\/revisions\/1794"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}