{"id":126,"date":"2007-09-02T10:38:46","date_gmt":"2007-09-02T17:38:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/2007\/09\/02\/useful-things-college-taught-me\/"},"modified":"2011-05-20T20:04:44","modified_gmt":"2011-05-21T03:04:44","slug":"useful-things-college-taught-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2007\/09\/02\/useful-things-college-taught-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Useful Things College Taught Me"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Greatk<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\" I just finished my first week as a senior at SDSU, and now all the useful tips are coming back. Freshman, pay attention. I learned all these the hard way. Here they are, in no particular order:<\/p>\n

1. NEVER buy your books until you absolutely need to. $500 to buy all of your school books per semester is extortion. Borrow or steal if necessary. Some professors even list their books but never use them.<\/p>\n

2. Don’t expect to get the full amount you paid for your books. Realistically, expect about a third of it back. Try not to cry.<\/p>\n

3. Use the library whenevery possible. It’s free and you can get your books there. Plus, the lesser used cloisters make for an excellent place to have sex.<\/p>\n

4. If they’re handing out condoms on campus, pick up as many as possible. These things are expensive if you pay retail, but Planned Parenthood gives them out for free. You don’t have to use them all at once, you could even save a few for Christmas presents or a waterballoon fight.<\/p>\n

5. If you live in the dorms, STAY AS HEALTHY AS POSSIBLE. Come finals week, you will understand why. This includes but is not limited to: using shower sandals, getting vaccinated, eating healthy, practicing safe sex, and hermetically sealing yourself off from your neighbors.<\/p>\n

6. If you want good grades, sit up front. If you’re tired of hearing your professor’s bullshit, sit in the back and try to fall asleep.<\/p>\n

7. Earplugs are useful, especially if you have a roommate or said professors.<\/p>\n

8. Learning by osmosis does not work.<\/p>\n

9. Avoid classes before 9am AT ALL COSTS. Even if you live in the dorms, these classes will sap your energy for the rest of the day.<\/p>\n

10. Wear dark sunglasses to oggle your more attractive students. Museum rules apply here: look but don’t touch.<\/p>\n

11. When clubbing in Mexico, drinking in Mexico, attending strip clubs in Mexico, the following things are mandatory: Plenty of dollar bills (the $ is as good as gold there), bottle openers, cigarette lighters, comfortable shoes, and US passport.<\/p>\n

12. If visiting said country, learn how to negotiate and communicate in Spanish, or bring along a friend who does. This is necessary for ordering food, bartering goods and services, and other things.<\/p>\n

13. Never skip on paying a cab fare in Mexico. I saw this happen and La Polic?a weren’t too happy about it.<\/p>\n

14. Never let your friends hang off your car drunk.<\/p>\n

15. Don’t let La Polic?a see your drunk friends in a rented car across international lines.<\/p>\n

16. If #15 happens, try to explain to La Polic?a why you don’t have the special ‘insurance’ and try to stall until your Spanish friend can come bail you out.<\/p>\n

17. Advise your drunk friends to stay in the car while #16 goes on, otherwise they will be shot. I’m serious.<\/p>\n

18. If you think someone likes you, spend more than a few days trying to get to know them before sleeping with them.<\/p>\n

19. Try to sleep at their place.<\/p>\n

20. If it turns out to be a one night stand, try not to take it too hard. It’s better to move on in the long run.<\/p>\n

21. The popular group from high school made it into college too. They’re called fraternities and sororities.<\/p>\n

21. Avoid frat guys and sorostitutes like the plague.<\/p>\n

22. Try not to feel too angry about how some students have their parents pay for everything in their life while you work hard to apply for scholarships you won’t get.<\/p>\n

23. Take a part time job you might like. They’re hard to find, but they’re out there.<\/p>\n

24. General Education requirements are a fact of life. Even though they’re useless and do not apply to your major, they’re usually very easy, so don’t blow them off. The good grades in these classes with save your GPA later on in college life.<\/p>\n

25. Upper division classes are more difficult. Try not to take them all at once, unless you hate sleep.<\/p>\n

26. Sleep is our friend<\/p>\n

27. Calculus was made by the devil to confuse and anger all students.<\/p>\n

28. The following majors are doomed to poverty: English, Psychology, undeclared, Spanish, Art, Art history, theater, monkey physics, witch hunter, philosophy.<\/p>\n

29. The following majors have a decent chance of becoming successful while not even finishing college: Business, Business administration, International business (travel required), accounting, gold-digging, prostitution (women only), sycophant, political science.<\/p>\n

30. Statistics is not really a type of math, just a good way to guess.<\/p>\n

31. If you have the opportunity to study abroad, do so. Might I recommend Europe? Avoid the Middle East if possible.<\/p>\n

32. Studying abroad is expensive. Save all the money you can.<\/p>\n

33. When buying concert tickets to a large event, never buy them online from e-bay. Instead, buy them from a scalper the day of the concert.<\/p>\n

34. Protect your computer, cell phone, and ipod at all costs. These things are you’re lifelines. College students can only live 36 hours without all 3.<\/p>\n

35. Protect you car stereo if you live in a bad neighborhood.<\/p>\n

36. Facebook is a critical instrument in college.<\/p>\n

37. Things change at home while you’re away at college.<\/p>\n

38. You can’t go home again.<\/p>\n

39. Figure out who you are, what you want out of life, and identify your beliefs while in college.<\/p>\n

40. If you insist on staying in college for more than 4 years, enjoy them while you can.<\/p>\n

If I think of any more, I’ll add them on. Or feel free to add on your own tips for those just getting started in life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Greatk I just finished my first week as a senior at SDSU, and now all the useful tips are coming back. Freshman, pay attention. I learned all these the hard way. Here they are, in no particular order: 1. NEVER buy your books until you absolutely need to. $500 to buy all of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/126"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=126"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/126\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1803,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/126\/revisions\/1803"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=126"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=126"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=126"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}