{"id":1105,"date":"2009-08-21T11:11:09","date_gmt":"2009-08-21T16:11:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/2009\/08\/21\/the-10-worst-lunch-boxes-ever\/"},"modified":"2009-08-21T11:11:09","modified_gmt":"2009-08-21T16:11:09","slug":"the-10-worst-lunch-boxes-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2009\/08\/21\/the-10-worst-lunch-boxes-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"The 10 Worst Lunch Boxes Ever"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Written by Teague Bohlen<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?Every kid knew it: lunchboxes meant something. And it wasn’t just that you were a fan of whatever it was that you sported on your lunchtime luggage. It was your proclamation of identity. A window into your third-grade, paste-eating soul.<\/p>\n

So the question was this: with what are you aligning yourself? Star Wars<\/em>? Marvel Comics? Dukes of Hazzard<\/em>? Care Bears? Muppets? Pele? They all made a statement — especially the bad ones, the thoughtless ones, the downright inappropriate ones. So, here, the 10 Worst Lunchboxes Ever, and what they said about the kids who carried them.<\/p>\n

10. Disco<\/strong><\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What it says:<\/strong> “You might think this is a lame lunchbox now, but just wait until you’re a gay kitsch-collector in the late 1990s.”<\/p>\n

9. Wags and Whiskers<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What it says:<\/strong> “”This dog is obviously being abused, and this kitty is silently pleading you to help, help for the love of god. But you can’t, because it’s my lunchbox.”<\/p>\n

8. Junior Nurse<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What it says:<\/strong> “I’m either very into entering the medical profession someday, or I really like playing doctor. Want to meet me behind the gym after school to find out which?”<\/p>\n

7. Laugh-In<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What it says:<\/strong> “Hey, here’s a show my parents watch that I don’t understand! Because I’m six.”<\/p>\n

6. Pro Sports\/Campus Queen<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What they say:<\/strong> “My mom has no clue what I actually like, but thinks that this looks like a generic idea of what I might enjoy based on clich\u00e9d gender roles and utilizing an early crude form of clip art.”<\/p>\n

5. Rambo<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What it says:<\/strong> “Nothing is over! Nothing! Well, except maybe that point in my childhood where it’s still appropriate for me to still be carrying a lunchbox.”<\/p>\n

4. Bee Gees<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What it says:<\/strong> “What I really wanted was a DISCO lunchbox.”<\/p>\n

3. Exciting World of Metrics<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What it says:<\/strong> “I don’t get nearly enough math in class, so I enjoy looking at the same conversion-facts all through my lunch hour, too. It’s also fun to count the number of punches I get each day, multiply that by the number of Indian burns, titty twisters, and swirlies I receive, and then tabulate just exactly how much my life sucks on the metric scale.”<\/p>\n

2. Hi!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What it says:<\/strong> “Hi! I’ll give you an apple if you’ll touch my belt.”<\/p>\n

1. Blank<\/strong><\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

?<\/p>\n

What it says:<\/strong> “My mom hates me.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Teague Bohlen ?Every kid knew it: lunchboxes meant something. And it wasn’t just that you were a fan of whatever it was that you sported on your lunchtime luggage. It was your proclamation of identity. A window into your third-grade, paste-eating soul. So the question was this: with what are you aligning yourself? […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1105"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1105"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1105\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}