{"id":1058,"date":"2009-07-23T10:24:26","date_gmt":"2009-07-23T15:24:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/2009\/07\/23\/a-brief-and-accurate-description-of-world-war-ii\/"},"modified":"2010-03-20T04:54:18","modified_gmt":"2010-03-20T11:54:18","slug":"a-brief-and-accurate-description-of-world-war-ii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/2009\/07\/23\/a-brief-and-accurate-description-of-world-war-ii\/","title":{"rendered":"A brief and accurate description of World War II"},"content":{"rendered":"

Written by Urban Dictionary<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
\nBritain & France tell them to stop that bullshit.
\nGermany invades Poland.
\n(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
\nBritain & France declare war. This is the ‘official’ kick-off.
\nItaly, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
\nAxis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
\nNazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
\nUK holds out.
\nRussia & the USA don’t do shit.
\nEntire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
\nAxis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don’t think it’s funny any more.
\nJapan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
\nSuddenly the US doesn’t think it’s funny any more.
\nThe USA tools up the world, ’cause it’s got more factories than everybody else put together, & they’re out of bomber range.
\nAxis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia’s enormous & bloody freezing.
\nAllies invade on D-Day… 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)
\nHitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
\nThe US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets ‘o sunshine on Japan.
\nRussians steal half of Europe.
\nUK’s spent almost every penny it had.
\nUS starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.<\/p>\n

“Some of the World War II guys in ‘Call of Duty’ have, like, foreign accents… what’s up with that?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Urban Dictionary Germany invades Czechoslovakia. Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit. Germany invades Poland. (Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.) Britain & France declare war. This is the ‘official’ kick-off. Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.) […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1058"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1058"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1058\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1579,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1058\/revisions\/1579"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1058"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1058"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/localhost\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1058"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}