Archive | September, 2010

Top 10 Lies Your Teachers Told You in School

Written by degreescout

Via bbc.co.uk

Lie Told

The peppered moths of Britain evolved from light to dark because of the pollution caused by the industrial revolution.

Why It Is a Lie

Teachers love this little story because it makes it so easy for students to understand the concept. The image of the light and dark moths on light and dark surfaces is simple to grasp. Too bad the tale is more black and white than the moths.

Peppered moths came in a variety of shades, from light to dark and have existed as such since before the industrial revolution. By oversimplifying the situation, natural selection is painted as a life-or-death situation.

Why It Shouldn’t Change

Middle school students don’t really need to grasp the complexities of natural selection. Further explanation in later grade levels builds on this basic, but not complete concept.

9. Van Gogh’s ear

Lie Told

Crazy Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear and gave it to a girl as a token of his love. Did we mention that he was crazy?

Why It Is a Lie

While the crazy part is a fact, and the gift giving part may be true, Van Gogh did not cut off his own ear. He actually lost it in a fight with friend and fellow artist, Paul Gauguin.

Why It Should Change

People don’t need to think Van Gogh was crazier than he was.

8. The Scientific Method

Via Sciencebuddies.org

Lie Told

Scientists follow a rigid procedure called the “scientific method” for every experiment conducted.

Why It Is a Lie

There is no one method or procedure. Science isn’t a wash, rinse, repeat kind of thing. While hypothesis-experiment-conclusion is a method used by scientists, it is one of many.

Why It Should Change

By telling such a lie, children are led to believe that there is no creativity or imagination in science.

7. Pocahontas

Lie Told

Pocahontas was an adult Powhattan princess who saved John Smith’s life and later fell in love with him.

Why It Is a Lie

First and foremost, Pocahontas was twelve at the time that John Smith and his crew landed in the New World. That takes care of the adult and, hopefully, the romance pieces of this tale. Furthermore, there were no witnesses to the part about her saving John Smith’s life. Last but not least, John Smith had a well recorded tendency to exaggerate and embellish stories.

Why It Shouldn’t Change

The Disney remake would be far less magical.

6. Salem Witch Trials

Lie Told

Witches were burned at the stake in Salem, MA.

Why It Is a Lie

While many accused witches were burned at the stake in England, British law did not allow the punishment in their colonies. Instead, witches were hanged if they managed to survive death row.

Why It Shouldn’t Change

The method of death is far less important than the reasons for the deaths. While factually inaccurate, the important information about the events doesn’t have to do with the manner of death.

5. The Founding Fathers’ religious beliefs

Via wilsonsalmanac.com

Lie Told

The Founding Fathers were all Christians.

Why It Is a Lie

The Founding Fathers held a wide array of religious beliefs, ranging from Christianity to Deism. Thomas Jefferson rejected the concept of the Trinity and loathed the idea of a national religion.  Benjamin Franklin and John Adams were Deists.

Why It Should Change

It is important that the reality of our founding fathers beliefs be understood, but it is most important that the emphasis of the separation of church and state be taught.

4. Ben Franklin and the Kite

Via ushistory.org

Lie Told

Benjamin Franklin discovered electricity by flying a kite in a lightning storm and, subsequently, getting struck by lightning.

Why It Is a Lie

While Benjamin Franklin did propose the idea of a kite experiment, he never actually went through with it. If he had, he would likely have died.

Why It Shouldn’t Change

Children already know being struck by lightning will kill you. They can keep this story.

3. George Washington and the Cherry Tree

Lie Told

Little George Washington chopped down his father’s cherry tree. When called out on it, he confessed to being a pint-sized pain in the butt.

Why It Is a Lie

George Washington’s biographer inserted the made-up story, and other tall tales of the late President, into his two books. He did this, presumably, for his own amusement.

Why It Shouldn’t Change

Ironically, it teaches kids that they shouldn’t lie.

2. Thanksgiving

Lie Told

The Native Americans and Pilgrims had a potluck dinner/lovefest filled with fat turkeys and corn. Everyone lived happily ever after.

Why It Is a Lie

The entire story is a romanticized version of history. While the Pilgrims and Native Americans did break bread many times, it was never a tradition or annual occurrence.

Why It Should Change

Learning the reality of the relationship between the Pilgrims and the Native Americans would give students a better historical insight into the foundations of America, and the impact of our arrival here on the Native American way of life.

1. Newton and the Apple

Via telegraph.co.uk

Lie Told

Isaac Newton discovered the law of gravity when an apple fell on his head.

Why It Is a Lie

This story was never mentioned by Newton. It didn’t come into existence until around sixty years after it allegedly happened. The lie was first told by John Conduitt, who was most likely using the apple as a literary device. The part about the apple viciously attacking Newton’s noggin was added later.

Why It Shouldn’t Change

It gives children hope that one day they could have that “lightbulb moment” just like one of mankind’s geniuses.

Bonus: Coolest Dad Ever

source

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10 Things Filmmakers Need To Stop Doing

Written by Owen Javellana

Hollywood is a place of long-standing tradition, of history, of precedent and of practice. Here are some practices that suck. Honorable mentions include “Letting Natasha Bedingfield Anywhere Near Your Soundtrack.”

1. MAKING VAGUE MOVIE POSTERS

I don’t expect a plot synopsis on a poster. But all marketing logic suggests I should be able to get a vague idea of what the movies about. Yet still, every once in a while you get a poster that tells us next to nothing. The poster for Hitch suggests a plot about Will Smith JUST STANDING THERE. On the opposite side of the spectrum are posters so convoluted that they take 2 minutes of guessing. The poster for You Again requires you to stare at it for two minutes, drawing mental lines to connect each woman to her enemy (I guess?). Looking at posters should not feel like the activities for kids on the back of a cereal box.

2. PUTTING THE DIRECTOR’S NAME EVERYWHERE

Unless this is the cover of a mystery novel sold at Walgreens, the creator’s name should never be as big as the title of the movie. You can advertise the director, sure, but the movie should sell itself, not just rely on the name and reputation of whoever’s directing it. It may get attention, but it comes off as un-classy, like R&B singers who feel the need to sing their own name as soon as the song starts.  Not to mention how this can bite you in the ass when disappointed critics wonder who’s to blame for “Tyler Perry’s Madea Jumps The Shark.”

3. MILKING DVD PROFITS

It’s understandable that studio’s want you to buy their movie. It just gets aggrvating when they want you to buy the same movie over and over again. They’ll release a bare-bones, standard DVD early, with next to nothing in the way of extra features (an audio set-up, some cast bios, and pausing). Then they’ll release a “special edition” a few months later, with the features you would actually want to see. And God help you if you’re a fan of a series, you’ll be buying a new “complete” set every time a new installment comes out.

4. TRAILERS THAT EXPLAIN THE ENTIRE PLOT

This is pretty self-explanatory. For example, this is a trailer for Charlie St. Cloud, which comes off less like a trailer and more like a recap of the first hour and a half of the movie, for someone who arrived really, really late. I personally haven’t seen Charlie St. Cloud, because it’s about Zac Efron playing baseball with a dead little boy (three things I care little about), but… I don’t really need to see it anymore, do I?

5. CGI/LIVE ACTION REMAKES OF OLD CARTOONS

We get it, CGI is advanced now. Gone are the whimsical days of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Space Jam, where 2D animation walked side by side with Michael Jordan. Nowadays, computer animation is able to make these once-beloved characters juuuust realistic enough to be absolutely creepy. With the upcoming adaptations of Yogi Bear (2010) and The Smurfs (2011), children who have never seen a single episode of the cartoons can now look forward to seeing them in their nightmares.

6. WEBSITES BASED AROUND A QUESTION

In 1999, when The Matrix was being promoted (yes, it was that long ago), the website was whatisthematrix.com. This worked back then because A.) it was one of the first times, and B.) it made sense with the plot, which was centered around discovering what the Matrix was. Nowadays, it’s a just a cheap way to ask people to be curious about your movie. Who is Salt(.com)? Who are the Takers(.com)? Does the Sisterhood travel, or just the Pants(.com)?

Incidentally, after watching Takers, I no longer care in the slightest who they are.

7. PARODY MOVIES

This year, we will have the joy of seeing Not Another Not Another Movie. I’m not joking. A parody about parodies. We have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard, we have tunneled through to the top of a barrel in China.

8. “RACEBENDING”

Giving roles meant for racial minorities to white actors and actresses is nothing new. Hollywood has done it with animated characters (The Last Airbender), real life figures (21), and now historical figures, with the upcoming Ghengis Khan film starring the decidedly un-Mongolian Mickey Rourke. I won’t get into the politics of it right now, but everytime Hollywood does this I feel like they’ve lined up every minority’s face perfectly, so they could run down the line and slap each one, like a pro-wrestler giving high fives to the crowd.

9. POST-PRODUCTION 3D

People are split on 3D. Some people love it. Personally, I forget it’s there after 4 minutes. But one thing people can agree on: If you tack on 3D effects after you’ve wrapped instead of filming in 3D from the beginning, every one hates you. It’s like how junk food adds high-fructose corn syrup. I’m sure it’s cost effective and profitable to put in your product, but there’s still a general understanding by the consumer that it’s the worst thing ever.

10. GIVING PAUL WALKER LINES WITH STREET SLANG

Paul Walker has the personality of an Ikea coffee table and the street cred of an Ikea coffee table. Casting him alongside Tyrese or T.I. only highlights this fact. He can’t even pull off saying the line, “My pockets ain’t empty, bro,” in 2 Fast 2 Furious. Even dorky white guys can say “bro.” But once again, Walker defies all convention.

Bonus: Happy first day of Autumn

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29 Famous Quotes Translated into LOLCat

Written by Shmoop

29 famous quotes from literature, history, poetry, and music… translated into LOLCat.

(see answer key at the bottom)

1. Tah sleep, purchance tah dreem…prolly tah dreem.

2.  I herd a fly buzz when I died.  I atsed it.

3.  Do not go gentul intah that good nite!  Das where basement cat lives.

4.  Billie Jean?  Defanully not mah lubbr.

5.  Dey say dis cat is a bad muvah – SHUT YERZ MOUF!!!1!

6.  All animals r equal.  But sumz equalr than others.

7.  Ask not what yer kitteh can do fer you: Iz not listnin.

8.  Et tu, Kittéh?

9.  Tah b r not tah b – Das wut Iz ponderin.

10.  A DREAM!!1!  I haz it.

11.  Mah namez Ineego Montoyah.  U killd mah fathur.  Pruhpair fer dyin.

12.  Get dee to ah nunnr… nunn…SCOOT!!!!!

13.  Das one small step fer man, one giant leap for kitteh.

14.  O hai! Grownd contrul?  Dis iz Majr Tom.

15.  Lub iz a battlefield.  Youz losin.

16.  It waz bestest timez, it waz wurstest times.

17.  No kitteh iz a island.  Deyz hatez water.

18.  Unkl Kitteh wantz YOU!  Tah change dah litter.

19.  O hai sir!  I can haz moar porrige?

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_MsZb8mYFoCs/TJrzSpLE1zI/AAAAAAAALkU/LB4haDbxzvE/s800/lolcat20-Frost.jpg

20.  Iz in yer woods, takin tha road less trabbled by.

21.  How do I lub dee? Lemme count da wayz.  Un, too, fybe…

22.  All dat glittrz iznt gold.  But itz still fun tah play wib.

http://lh3.ggpht.com/_MsZb8mYFoCs/TJrzTy0tXvI/AAAAAAAALkg/zZNPRtqo4DE/s800/lolcat23-LasVegas.jpg

23.  We wuz somewhere round Barstow onna edge ov da desert…

24.  Let mah peepl go!!1!  Wez gotsa pee.

25.  Frenz, romanz, countrymenz, lend mah yerz eerz!  Das right… jussa liddle closer…

26.  Quof da raben: Noperz!

27.  O hai!  U can callz meh Ishmail.

28.  Iz cannot tell a lie!  Haha, made mahself lolz.

29.  Big kitteh iz watchin.

Answer Key

1.  ”To sleep, perchance to dream”, William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet

2.  ”I heard a fly buzz — when I died – “, Emily Dickinson

3.  ”Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night“, Dylan Thomas

4.  ”Billie Jean is not my lover”, Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean

5.  ”They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother– Shut your mouth!”, Isaac Hayes’s “Theme from Shaft”

6.  ”All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” George Orwell’s Animal Farm

7.  ”Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.” – John F. Kennedy

8.  ”Et tu, Brute?” William Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar

9.  ”To be or not to be – that is the question.” William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”

10.  ”I have a dream!” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

11.  ”My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” William Goldman’s The Princess Bride

12.  ”Get thee to a nunnery”, William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”

13.  ”That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” – Neil Armstrong

14.  ”This is Major Tom to Ground Control”, David Bowie’s “A Space Oddity”

15.  ”Love is a Battlefield”, Pat Benetar

16.  ”It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”, Charles Dickens’s A Tale of Two Citites

17.  ”No man is an island”, John Donne’s “Meditation XVII”

18.  ”I want YOU for US army”, WWI recruiting poster

19.  ”Please, sir, I want some more (porridge).” Charles Dickens’s Oliver Twist

20.  ”Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by.” Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken

21.  ”How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” Elizabeth Browning

22.  ”All that glitters is not gold”, William Shakespeare’s “The Merchant of Venice

23.  ”We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.” Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

24.  ”When Israel was in Egypt’s land: Let my people go”, American spiritual “Go Down Moses”

25.  ”Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears”, William Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar”

26.  ”Quoth the raven: Nevermore”, Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven

27.  ”Call me Ishmael.” Herman Melville’s Moby-Dick

28.  ”I cannot tell a lie, father, you know I cannot tell a lie! I did cut it with my little hatchet.” George Washington re: the apple tree (according to a biography Parson Weems)

29.  ”Big Brother is watching you.” George Orwell’s 1984

Original images used via Creative Commons licenses or found in the public domain.

1, 3-11, 13-16, 19, 21, 24-25, 27-28.  Creative Commons Share-Alike v2.0

2.  Creative Commons Share-Alike Attribution v2.0, Wikipedia user RussianA

12.  Creative Commons Share-Alike Attribution v2.0, Wikipedia user Diego Grez

17.  Creative Commons Share-Alike Attribution v2.0, Wikipedia user Share Bear

18.  Creative Commons Share-Alike Attribution v2.0, Wikipedia user Arad

20.  Creative Commons Share-Alike Attribution v2.0, Wikipedia user Loadmaster

22.  Creative Commons Share-Alike Attribution v2.0, Wikipedia user Liftarn

23.  Creative Commons Share-Alike Attribution v2.0, Wikipedia user Sebastianjude

26.  Creative Commons Share-Alike Attribution v2.0, Wikipedia user Chosovi

Bonus: Anyone else love these instead of a child?

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