A 5th Grader’s written plans to take over the world

28 Nov 2008

Plan to Take Over World

FOUND by Brooke in Long Beach, Mississippi

Haha, I found this on the floor in my school’s hallway… I’m guessing he likes Halo. This child is… well… um.. _______. Yeah!

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65 Responses to A 5th Grader’s written plans to take over the world

None

November 29th, 2008 at 01:58

looks like a solid plan

Dave

November 29th, 2008 at 02:03

That wasn’t a 5th grader. How’d you get a hold of my secret plans?!?!?!?

lykus

November 29th, 2008 at 02:04

lawl, fucking germans

The Brain

November 29th, 2008 at 02:04

Surely you are Pinky….. you most be the mouse pinky.
I havn’t seen you in a while, ungrateful mouse…. probably the fame from our TV shows changed you forever.

You will never succeed without me,

The Brain

oblomov

November 29th, 2008 at 10:04

It appears that Liberace is his greatest obstacle.

Pudding4me

November 29th, 2008 at 11:10

Oh man I’m with you 100% on this, but I don’t think we should make a spartan army, I’d rather have a samurai army.. Then again they have to kill themselves if they lose don’t they? Okay how about we have factions, a Spartan army, a Samurai army, a Ninja army, a Pirate army, and I think we should enslave Liberace since you see him as such a great obstacle he can surly aid us in battle!

Humorless Today

November 29th, 2008 at 11:16

wow. this post is totally not cool and far from a best article. killing gays and performing genocide – not cute from a 9yo. and really a sick choice to post by this site.

Antonio Erviti

November 29th, 2008 at 11:46

Too much TV maybe????

Endragon

November 29th, 2008 at 12:16

ROFL! Frigging incredible. Heck, by Step 5, he’s on a roll. You can’t go wrong with Spartans ;)

// En

David

November 29th, 2008 at 12:29

Humorless Today; wow. your post is totally not cool. you’re boring.

Julia

November 29th, 2008 at 12:55

Haha, I took it that an older person wrote it, and after watching ‘are you smarter than a fifth grader’ a great fear of said grade was harbored. They must be stopped!

Mattt

November 29th, 2008 at 13:59

I think having a Spartan army would not be the best plan considering there being alot of revolutionary inventions since the bronze age. a better plan would be to get a whole bunch of children perhaps kindergardeners and raze them to become more modern super soldiers.

DUH

November 29th, 2008 at 14:29

@Matt

I think he means the spartans off of the Halo series

Mattt

November 29th, 2008 at 14:50

well thats silly. video games are not real life. thease are things you need to think of before you try to take over the world.

Bob

November 29th, 2008 at 16:49

Hey, listmaking is a sign of success

Ash

November 29th, 2008 at 17:54

actually quite worrying…

george

November 29th, 2008 at 18:00

this kid has serious issues

Dave

November 29th, 2008 at 18:19

So, you didn’t turn this in to the proper authorities? The school wasn’t locked down and SWAT wasn’t called? No FBI? No handwriting analysis to uncover the culprit, thus derailing a Columbine-like(tm) school massacre? You didn’t release the name of the terrorist child to the Media so they could holler for a couple of days about how video games and hip-hop are warping the children, filling them with xenophobia and hate? No satellite trucks in front of the parent’s home, with sweaty, gushing teenaged girls yelping into microphones and live feeds about how the parent failed and interviewing neighborss about how, “they were just a quiet family who kept to themselves” except that one time the boy was spotted in the back yard throwing dirt clods at green plastic Army Men? Then you, BROOKE, are a disgrace as an educator. Turn in your credential.

MARK

November 29th, 2008 at 19:33

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid

nnick

November 29th, 2008 at 20:15

How did this kid find out about Liberace? I didn’t know about him until 6th grade.

Lolz

November 29th, 2008 at 22:41

In response to # 7, I’m gay and find it hilarious. And to #19, he probably is gay and doesn’t realize it yet. That’s how he knows about him.

Yair Tendler

November 29th, 2008 at 23:15

sure sounds like a solid plan, I think the hardest part in your plan will be step 7 :)

It made me laugh

November 29th, 2008 at 23:24

@ Yair Tendler – Step #7 might be a bit difficult but I think step #8 will be the hardest, considering that Liberace is already dead! He died Feb 4, 1987…

JAB_au

November 29th, 2008 at 23:27

#4 Replace Bungie with Google, and then it’s a solid plan.

jas

November 30th, 2008 at 00:09

prove libarache was gay????

GOOD luck with that kid! that man was as straight as an (bent) arrow

November 30th, 2008 at 16:24

Step 12: Repent and kill thyself.

kelsie

November 30th, 2008 at 18:04

lol sounds good!! i kinda want to try it now. i wonder how he’s going to get number 3 done.

Althea

November 30th, 2008 at 21:20

This is hilarious!! People who find this offensive or disturbing need to lighten up and laugh a little.

texan316

November 30th, 2008 at 22:58

Yeehaw mothafucka we’re gonna come down on liberace like a bat outta hell!

eel man

December 1st, 2008 at 00:47

I hear jordy Baily is gay

Boob Biter

December 1st, 2008 at 02:51

Already tried this, didn’t work. Must try Plan B now.

P.S Liberace was gay and fucked sheep

Joe

December 1st, 2008 at 05:34

He’s from the south and his plan to take over the world involves revealing a homosexual and then killing him hahahahaha

Stereotypes.

Concerned?

December 1st, 2008 at 07:15

If you think this kid is going to go on to do something violent, you probably think that the kids who made a Doom map of their school were planning a shooting rampage (which, BTW, I did with Duke Nukem 3D, and never shot up my school–well, except for in DN3D).

“Kill 5th Grade”? Make a Spartan army? Pretty sure this kid was bored in class and was just killing (pun intended) time–and time alone.

Dave

December 1st, 2008 at 13:23

This kid will be in prison by 18.

Or younger if they decide to try him as an adult.

Flux

December 2nd, 2008 at 07:30

Total fake. Just because you pretend to have a child’s handwriting (which mine almost is despite my best efforts, perhaps because I have spent so long typing on a keyboard), doesn’t make it realistic or funny. The “child” doesn’t know who Liberachi is, doesn’t care about Michael Jackson and certainly holds no grudges against Germany (lest he has a 5th grade teacher who is overzealous about WWII).
Get over yourself. Not funny…

Gay_Killer

December 2nd, 2008 at 10:45

(1) Prove Humorless Today was gay
(2) Kill Humorless Today.

ArmyOfAardvarks

December 2nd, 2008 at 12:30

This basically sounds like the stuff that I wrote at 5th grade.
You people are way too sensitive.
I thought it was hilarious.

Tim Gunn

December 2nd, 2008 at 18:12

This worries me…

Carry on!

Lisa

December 2nd, 2008 at 23:19

Jeez. People seriously need to lighten up.
The kid was probably just bored in class. (Hence the ‘kill the 5th grade’).
Learn to laugh people.

daver

December 3rd, 2008 at 02:04

finally a dictator-to-be that wasn’t worried about the french!

gWallet

December 3rd, 2008 at 07:47

@daver – he IS french, hence the desire to kill Germans. :)

Princess_Anarchy

December 3rd, 2008 at 13:04

A /b/tard in the making =/

Anon

December 3rd, 2008 at 23:15

step 12: ??????????? ?????????
step 13: Profit

nick

December 5th, 2008 at 00:43

he skipped 2 steps
12) ????
13) profit!!

Diane

December 5th, 2008 at 02:45

HA that’s fab. Shows planning and a train of thought, That child will go far.

DooD

December 5th, 2008 at 16:57

Humorless Today, get a life. and Mark…. shut up.

Nicanadian

December 8th, 2008 at 10:38

teHehee, sounds like fun- count me in as an evil minion.

Oh and for all curious people who were wondering how he knew about liberachi, he probably watches southpark and plays halo like just about any fifth grader with an older brother…

And for everyone that is ‘disturbed’ by this post, I’m curious as to what you day dreamed about in grade school? (girls don’t count) I’d probably wager it involved any of the pop-icons of your era whether it be a power rangers or evil halo dictator or hell it could’ve been the lone ranger… my point being that it’s hardly disturbing at all, so just chillax and enjoy the endless creativity and fun-loving nature that embodies children everywhere.

Schoolmaster

December 8th, 2008 at 11:36

This does not strike me as the work of a 5th grader, they normally would respect page margins. The style of writing is more indicative of college sophomores, and that…my dear friends… is very disturbing!!!

The Billman

December 14th, 2008 at 21:04

I thought Liberace was was already dead, got syphilis from fucking sheep and shoving beavers up his ass.

mat

December 22nd, 2008 at 13:29

Oh boob biter, only straight guys fuck sheep.

3rd grader

January 9th, 2009 at 17:08

Even though it is not really written by a fifth grader, it is funny. Killing Germans is always funny. Killing gays is even funnier. Taking over the whole world funnier still. Killing people that don’t think it is funny to do those things is even funnier still. Learn to laugh.

dustin

January 10th, 2009 at 08:31

some of you need to chill the fuck out and stop being so uptight, saying this kid is a monster and has mental issues. he is 9 years old, and a boy. that should explain everything

today my name is god

February 5th, 2009 at 11:02

WTF u need help

unless u give me half the world if your plan work

BIZZARO

April 11th, 2009 at 16:15

ONE WORD : ROBOTS

Frogs go pop

April 11th, 2009 at 22:05

Kids these days..

Carly

April 12th, 2009 at 21:36

I dont know many adults let alone fifth graders who know who liberace is…

jon

April 13th, 2009 at 13:12

i think by Spartans, he meant Spartan II’s (you cant see it very well in the handwriting)…so by playing too much Halo, hed believe that he could magically create an army of Master Chiefs. Yep. that makes sense.

Boner

April 14th, 2009 at 13:05

A better plan would be to get in good with the Rockefeller family.

Boner

April 14th, 2009 at 13:05

oh and add get rid of the niggers and sand niggers.

Boners Gay

April 21st, 2009 at 20:12

boner sthu you racist basdard

Boners Gay

April 21st, 2009 at 20:13

bastard*

buy aion kina

May 23rd, 2009 at 19:53

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cheap aion kina. I am happy with him.

maple mesos

June 1st, 2009 at 02:56

I can getmaple mesoscheaply,
Yesterday i boughtmesos for my brother.
i hope him like it. i will give maplestory mesos to him
as birthday present. i like the cheap mesos very much.
I usually buymaple story mesos and keep it in my store.