99 Classic “Yo Momma” Jokes

Written by Postscripts

HUMOR

Yo momma so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

That’s a prime example of a ‘Yo Momma’ joke, a genre so popular it became the basis for a series of no-holds-barred competitions on MTV. Produced and hosted by actor Wilmer Valderrama, matches were held on successive seasons in Los Angeles, New York and Atlanta.

From Monday to Thursday, the show pitted the toughest trash talkers against one another. Each team of contestants battled it out in front of a rowdy live audience of their peers. The four winners then came back on Friday for a Best of the Week. Here are 98 more prime examples of Yo Momma humor:

Yo momma so fat,

1. she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
2. when she tripped over on Fourth Avenue, she landed on Twelfth.
3. she’s got her own area code.
4. when she talks to herself, it’s a long distance call.
5. she’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
6. whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.
7. she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of March.
8. she was floating in the ocean, and Spain claimed her for the New World.
9. she wears aluminum siding.
10. she could fall down and wouldn’t even know it.

***

11. she got hit by a VW and had to go to the hospital to have it removed.
12. the sign inside one restaurant says, “Maximum occupancy, 512, or Yo momma.”
13. she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
14. the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
15. her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
16. she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
17. when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t get a menu, she gets an estimate.
18. when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
19. she was zoned for commercial development.
20. when she sings, it’s over for everybody.

***

21. she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagen.
22. when she was walking down the street and I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
23. when she dances, she makes the band skip.
24. when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy’s word for it.
25. she gets group insurance.
26. she’s on both sides of the family.
27. she can’t reach her back pocket.
28. she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
29. when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again.
30. when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

***

31. when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live.
32. we’re in her right now.
33. when she sits around the house, she really sits around the house.
34. her bellybutton’s got an echo.
35. when she turns around people throw her a welcome back party.
36. her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
37. the last time she saw 90210 was on a scale.
38. a picture of her would fall off the wall.
39. when she gets on the scale, it says “To be continued.”
40. she sat on a dollar, and when she got up there were four quarters.

***

41. she fell in love and broke it.
42. when she takes a shower, her feet don’t get wet.
43. you have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
44. when she goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
45. when she wears a yellow raincoat people holler, “Taxi.”
46. when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.
47. she could sell shade.
48. people jog around her for exercise.
49. she gets runs in her jeans.
50. when she wears a Malcolm X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back.

***

51. she eats Wheat Thicks.
52. light bends around her.
53. when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
54. her graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
55. her job title is spoon and fork operator.
56. she left the house in high heels, and when she came back she had on flip-flops.
57. you have to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
58. she has to wake up in sections.
59. she sat on a quarter and a booger popped out of George Washington’s nose.
60. she walked into the Gap and filled it.

***

61. she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
62. she comes at you from all directions.
63. when she was growing up she didn’t play with dolls, she played with midgets.
64. she uses two buses for roller-blades.
65. when she goes to a buffet, she gets the group rate.
66. she doesn’t eat with a fork, she eats with a forklift.
67. Weight Watchers won’t look at her.
68. the last time the landlord saw her, he doubled the rent.
69. she put on some BVDs and by the time she got them on, they spelled “boulevard.”
70. I ran around her twice and got lost.

***

71. the shadow of her butt weighs 100 pounds.
72. the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.
73. when she’s standing on the corner police drive by and yell, “Hey, break it up.”
74. she’s been declared a natural habitat for condors.
75. she sets off car alarms when she runs.
76. when she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.
77. her blood type is Ragu.
78. they had to let out the shower curtain.
79. when she runs the fifty-yard dash she needs an overnight bag.
80. she can’t even fit in the chat room.

***

81. she gets her toenails painted at Lucky’s Auto Body.
82. she doesn’t have a tailor, she has a contractor.
83. she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big.
84. she was in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade…wearing ropes.
85. she went on a light diet. As soon as it’s light she starts eating.
86. she’s half Italian, half Irish, and half American.
87. when her beeper goes off, people think she’s backing up.
88. when she goes to the movies, she sits next to everyone.
89. when she goes in a restaurant she looks at the menu and says, “Okay.”
90. she puts her lipstick on with a paint roller.

***

91. she has to pull down her pants to get in her pocket.
92. her waist size is the Equator.
93. she’s got her own zip code.
94. she has to buy two plane tickets.
95. she stands in two time zones.
96. she fell and created the Grand Canyon.
97. she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
98. she fell out of both sides of her bed.

164 thoughts on “99 Classic “Yo Momma” Jokes

  1. ninja.s

    I can’t believe I actually took the time to read all 99… There are a few pretty good ones in there, though. I used to always use these zingers. It’s nice to see them back.

  2. superfresh

    i got a joke yall listen listen

    uuuummmmmm

    yo mamas so fat she tripped and fell right
    now i didnt want to laugh
    but the ground was crackin up

    now i didnt read all 98 so i dont know if it already said this

  3. kenman

    your mama so fat when she steped outside god said move out the way cause you are blocking the view!!!!!! you got schooled fatties!!!!

  4. Chaos313

    yo mama so broke i went to her house and askd if i could use the bathroom,that bitch gave me a shotgun and a flashlight and said “Be Careful”

  5. Jeffry

    yo mama is so hairy the only languge she speeks is hairy from star wars prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr yo mama is so fat and stupid she thinks that a vocum can suck up her grease..big d@ddy in the zone

  6. Eve

    yo mama is so ugly that when she was little her mom put a steak around her neck so the dog could play with her

  7. pimped out nerd

    yo momma so stupid she went to disney world and saw a sign that said”disney world – left”so she went home

  8. shamrock

    yo mama is so fat shes like justus videki and hes a gay fagity queer so go rape him he goes to school at AMG in T.O

  9. wez

    YO MAMA IS SO STUPID SHE LOCKED HER SELF IN THE BATHROOM AND PISSED HER SELF BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP

  10. j@y(33 -Jaycee-

    your momma is so stupid she invened a solar flashlight.

    Your momma is so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

    Your momma is so fat, she jumped off a sky scraper and got stuck in the air.

    Oh and btw i read all 99 but it pisses me off that there are not 100.

  11. j@y(33 -Jaycee-

    somebody email me all of the yo mamma jokes that i know. if i think they suck i will tell you. -J@y(33 l_oV3s Y0U! ( Jaycee loves you!)

  12. Amanda

    tis is da best….

    yo mama so stupid she got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said ‘2 to 4 years’

  13. SOLDJA 2K8

    YO MAMA IS SO BLACK SHE LEFT FINGER PRINTS ON CHARCOAL
    SO FAT GOD COULD’NT LIGHT THE EARTH UNTIL SHE MOVED!!!!!!!!

    WOOOWWOWOWOWOOWOW

  14. me

    & actually yo mamas so ugly she went into a haunted house & came out with a paycheck!!!!
    yo mamas so poor she heard it was chilly out side & ran out with a bowl & spoon!
    yo mamas so old she knew burger king when he was a prince!
    yo mams so fat she sat on a quarter and gave george washington a nose bleed!
    yo mamas so hairy she looks like she got buckwheat in a headlock!
    yo mamas so ugly her birth certificate was an apology from the doctor!
    yo mamas so old her socoal security # is 1!
    yo mamas so fat her belt size is the equator!
    yo mamas so fat she uses a mattress for a maxi pad!
    yo mamas so fatto clean the holland tunnel they tie a rope around her leg & drag her through!
    yo mamas so po i asked her what her sign was & she said will work 4 food!

  15. Da cok

    Yo moms is so old she farts dust. Yo moms is so black she bleeds coffee. Yo moms is so fat, she put on a nike shirt. By the time she got them on, they spelled nickelodeon. Yo moms is so fuckin tall, when she did a back flip she kicked jesus on the face and knocked him out cold.

  16. maddie

    i didnt get tym to read all of them but most were really funny
    i lyk them i think i will show the kids at skool hehehehe

    well a had a good tym fnx for the amusment

  17. grace

    far how much jokes man

    beside mi momma’s thinner then a pencil
    so i wouldnt b talkin and dont even think u’s can talk
    so yea this website is just a watse of tym
    donno y you fellas r teasing urself
    its stupid sorri ur mums so fat damn

    screw u guys i hate high school

  18. zia

    Yo momma so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

    your mama iz so ugly she makes a gurrilla lookm sexy lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

  19. jodach

    yo mamaz so fat that when she jumped in2 the ocean whales started singin ‘we are family’ but she aint nowhere near ur ugly granny whoz so fat that when the house burnt down they had 2 use her underwear 4 a tent nyway i gues it runz in the family coz ur faggotpapaz so fat he haz to wear hiz underwear in the [email protected]

  20. jodach

    yo mamaz so ugly they push her face in2 the dough mixer when makn monster cookies n sheZ so fat she stepd on a digital scale n it read ‘math error’,so she decided 2 uz an analogue scale n it read ‘infinite’ when she uzd another scale it read ‘2 b contioued’ so she took her ugly butt 2 ha dingy hous whch iz so dirty that guests wipe their feet while ‘leavn’ the hous!….show me wat u gat little mamaz!hehehehuhuhahaho

  21. Keith

    i got a fat joke for u.yomama is so fat when she jumped into the ocean all the whales started singing ”we are family even if your bigger than me”

  22. D man

    listen bitches

    Yo Momma so poor i stepped on her cigarrette dub and she said who turned out the light’s?

    Yo momma so poor she found 2 quarters on the floor and shouted out ‘ finally i have my life savings’

    Yo momma so poor i sat on a dust bin and she comes out and say’s ‘ get of my roof ! ‘

    Yo momma so fat she can belly flop the world

    Yo momma feet are so big they have there own license plate

    what dont even get me started that is oooooolllllllllllllllllddddddddddd skl ๐Ÿ™‚

    D man rite here

  23. annie

    yo mama so ugly she ate a nibble of candy and looked in the mirrior and the hous exploded!

  24. fatemah

    hahah me and my friend chyenne were on the phone sayin yo mamajokes:] these are so HILARIOS

  25. katakama

    yo moma so ugly even your dad said DANG!!!! yo moma so fat she had a cornfeild on her toes!!!!yo moma is so ugly the mirror says OW my GOD!!!! yo moma is so fat when you bougth a chocolate lab. she said FOOD!!!!!!

  26. jonathand

    yo mama is so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out do u taste the rainbow NO youre mom ate it your mom is so fat she has more chins than a chinese phone book your mom is so fat she is on both sides of the family

  27. adam

    1.Your mama so fat, when she walkes out of a store wearing yellow, everyone yells, “Hey taxi.”
    2.Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
    3.Yo mama teeth are so yellow she spits butter!
    4.Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

  28. Rene'

    yo mama so fat and stupid, that when she hurd of tha Super Bowl, she brout a box of cereal!!!!!

  29. tayla marissa and audrianna

    yo momma so black i shot a bullit at her and it came back sayn it couldnt find her

  30. david

    yo momma so stupid she got locked in a motorcycle

    yo momma so old i slapped her on the back and her tits fell off

    yo momma so poor i went to her house and asked her if i could use her bathroom she said “pick a corner”

    yo momma so fat she farted and launched herself into orbit

    take that! SOKKERZ 4 EVA

  31. Bob

    Yo momma so stupid she aimed at the floor and mised
    Yo momma so ugly she makes an onion cry
    Yo momma so poor she found a penny and said “My lifes saving!!!”

    My jokes =)

  32. christain florus

    yo momma so ugaly she makes barny look good!
    yo momma so fat that when people woke up they thought it was a lunar eclipess

  33. marissa and lauren

    1. yo mama is so black she has to wear white gloves when she eats a tootsie roll so she dont bite her fingers off.

    2. yo mama is so stupid she makes a blonde person look smart.

    3. yo mama is so poor her picture is on the front of food stamps.

    4. yo mama’s so short she does backflips under her bed.

    5. yo mama is so smelly when she opened her legs i got seasick.

    6. yo mamas teeth are so yellow when it was midnight she walked outside and smiled and everyone thought it was the sun.

    7. yo mama is so fat she makes a sumo wrestler look anerexic.

    8. yo mama’s so fat she stepped on a scale and it said “one at a time please”

    9. yo mama is so ugly they pay her to put on clothes in strip joints.

    10. yo mama’s so ugly when she looked in the mirror she thought it was the abominal snowman.

  34. marissa and lauren

    1. yo mama is so black she has to wear white gloves when she eats a tootsie roll so she dont bite her fingers off.

  35. vinny

    yo mama so poor i went to her house to use the bathroom i saw roach with a coke bottle he said wait ur turn

  36. Phoebz

    yo mamma so fat she fell and created the grand canyon!
    yo mamma so stupid,she studied for a drug test!
    yo mamma so stupid, she gave birth to you
    yo mamma so stupid, she tried to drown a fish!
    yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in a grocery shop and starved
    yo mamma so stupid she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer!
    yo mamma so stupid she spent 20minutes looking at an orange juice carton because it said concentrate!
    yo mamma so stupid, she took a spoon to the superbowl!

  37. YoStupidMomadid:

    1. Yo momma so stupid, she stole free bread

    2. Yo momma so stupid when she heard the doorbell ring, she went to the microwave, popped it open and said, “Where my popcorn at?!”
    3. Yo momma so stupid, she just stupid!

    and 4. Yo momma so stupid she put paper on the TV and said, “Let’s watch Paper-View.”

  38. grant

    yo mama so fat when she was born she didn’t get a birth certificate she got a license plate!

  39. Gamage3210

    I got a good one. Yo mammas so fat that when god said let there be light he asked ur mom to move over.

  40. Ellz

    1. yo momma so fat when she wears a white jacket everyone
    hollars ‘AVALANCHE’
    2. yo momma so fat when she wears a blue jacket everyone
    hollars ‘TITLE WAVE’

  41. GH3tto baby 101

    MANNN THIS SITE FUCKIN SUCKS DESE JOKES ARE SOO PLAYED AND OLD.. OMG STOP GIVIN US LEFTOVERS WE WANT SOMETHING NEW

  42. tebedu

    since your mamma is so beatiful, smart,and spritual,
    you all don’t deserve to be her sons and daughters.

  43. denarre

    yo mamma is so fat that when she lays on the beach, people try to throw her back in the sea! xD

  44. Baller123

    My favorite yo mama jokes:

    yo mama so stupid she got locked in a motorcycle
    yo mama so stupid she studied for a pregnancy test
    yo mama so fat when she stood on the side of the road and i had to swerve, i ran out of gas
    yo mama so black when she gets in the spa she makes coffee
    yo mama so gay she married your dad!!

    o wat now boy

  45. tractor fan

    ur mammas so fat, she doesnt eat fruit and vegetables. instead, she prefers slightly fattier foods such as cakes , biscuits, and fruit and vegetables that are not fresh and of good quailty.

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  48. Lilly

    i got one ur mamas so poor when i wlaked into the house and stepped in a cigarette bud she turned around and said “where’d the heat go” now wat sons i got yous

  49. Lilly

    OK most o these joke are old Heres a new one:
    yo mamas so stupid she yelled into a envelope and called it “voice mail”
    heres another:
    yo mamas so stupid she thought taco bell was a mexican phone company!!

  50. jj

    yo mama so fat when she goes to the beach a wale comes out and says we are family

    yo mama so old when she farts mumy dust comes out

    yo mama so ugly when she got a bath the water jumped out

    yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck of

    yo mama is so old and fat when god said let there be light .he told her to move her fat ass out of the way

  51. ATL

    yo mama so fat she uses a cement truck for a dildo

    yo mama so fat they tied her on a chain and use her as a wrecking ball

    yo mama so fat she steps on the scale and it showed the national debt

    yo mama so fat she went to Japan and they shouted GODZILLA

    yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs

    yo mama so fat she hula hoops and people think its Saturn

    yo mama so fat satellites orbit her

    yo mama so fat you could sneak her into the drivein theater for free disguised as a Chevy

    yo mama so fat and hairy she’s the stunt double for King kong

    yo mama so fat her butt has waves just like the ocean

    yo mama so fat she has her own portable Mcdonalds

    yo mama so fat she goes to Jiffy Lube to get an enema

    yo mama so fat she uses Amtrak cars for roller skates

    yo mama so fat her pro wrestling name is Hurricane Katrina

    yo mama so fat she uses bridge cables for suspenders

    yo mama so fat…..damn she’s fat

    yo mama so fat she uses a bear trap for dentures

    yo mama so fat she fell down and started an earthquake

    yo mama so fat a jet hit her and she said ‘who threw that gumball at me?”

    yo mama so fat she uses boat tarps for bras

  52. nick bowles

    f#$k what every body says about these jokes me and every body in my class think that they are hella funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  53. [email protected] hit me up on myspace yah digg

    yo momma so black i shot her and the bullet came back for an flashlight
    yo momma so ugly even the blind kids run away from her
    yo momma so fat even god couldnt lift her spirit
    yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in an shootout lol
    yo momma so poor wen i walked in her house two rats tripped me and a roach stole my wallet hahaha.
    yo momma so black she jumped off the grand canyon and they said darkness feel im done in done i riped it doe YAH DIGG

  54. [email protected] hit me up on myspace yah digg

    yo momma so black i shot her and the bullet came back for an flashlight
    yo momma so ugly even the blind kids run away from her
    yo momma so fat even god couldnt lift her spirit
    yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in an shootout lol
    yo momma so poor wen i walked in her house two rats tripped me and a roach stole my wallet hahaha.
    yo momma so black she jumped off the grand canyon and they said darkness feel im done in done i riped it doe YAH DIGG

  55. [email protected] hit me up on myspace yah digg

    yo momma so black i shot her and the bullet came back for an flashlight
    yo momma so ugly even the blind kids run away from her
    yo momma so fat even god couldnt lift her spirit
    yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in an shootout lol
    yo momma so poor wen i walked in her house two rats tripped me and a roach stole my wallet hahaha.
    yo momma so black she jumped off the grand canyon and they said darkness feel im done in done i riped it doe YAH DIGG

  56. ANTHONY

    YO MOMMA SO POOR SOO DISGUSTING THAT WHEN I ASKED WATS FOR DINNER SHE OPENED HER LEGS AND SAID CORN…
    YO MOMMA SO POOR I ASKED HER WATS ON TV SHE SAIDSHE RAN OUT OF CRAYOS

  57. will

    ur mamas so dumb she got locked in tesco and died of stavation

    yo mamas so dumb she sat on the tv and watched the couch

  58. elmo

    man your moma so fat i slaped her and a pork chop came out her mouth and now wht lame joke young stas

  59. elmo

    your moa so dum i droped a quater and she say thank you fo your donation now i can buy a twinkie

  60. Mary

    To momma is so stupid she noticed a wet floor sign and she just didbut guys I think we should stop cause it is really bad some of the stuff can be true u never know u guys r really mean mean mean mean

  61. Brian garcia

    yo momma is so fat when she walks across the window we lose 4 days of sunlight

    yo momma is so fat nationwide cant get on her side

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